A/N: Pokémon and all related official persons/objects/ideas does not belong to me in the least. However, any original persons/objects/ideas within the story that don't belong to anyone else belong to me. Yeah.

As A final note, I use the following formatting system:

"Double quotes" for any human text OR Pokemon text in cases where spoken language is irrelevant / There are no humans around to, as it were, "fail to understand them."

'Single quotes in italics' denotes translated Pokemon speech when spoken language DOES matter.

Italics denote thoughts and telepathic quotations.

+Plus signs+ signify the narrator of the segment/chapter.

Now we begin.

Chapter 1 - Tantrums of a Hyperactive Cat

+Diego+

Deities are surprisingly like humans. I suppose the first thing that surprised me about working under Mew--and all the other Legendary Pokémon, depending on necessity--was how surprisingly like living with my Trainer it was.

For one thing, they--or, perhaps I should properly say They--live in the physical world. Well, except for Arceus and Giratina, as They make Their homes in Their respective otherworldly domains. But the Others...

Well, take Mew for example. To most humans, and, indeed, in Pokémon mythology itself, she (I leave it uncapitalized because capitalizing her pronouns irritates her) lives in a giant tree in a place the humans call Camaronne, and technically her home is there; but in reality she lives in a house that one can only get to if one knows exactly where to look. A house, yes--a human house, wood and stone, electricity and all. She even has a television, though I've never seen her watch it.

She also seems to be strangely fond of coffee. Why, I can't imagine--I've never much liked the stuff, myself.

So, I'd imagine you're also curious as to what I've actually done since accepting this "assistant" job. Like I said before, I didn't just work for Mew--I worked for all of the Legendary Pokémon as They needed assistance. Therefore, I did various things depending on Who I was helping at the time. Most often, of course, I would be with Mew, which consisted mostly of visiting young children and Pokémon in their dreams and inspiring them to do mischeivous things, making notes (as Mew dictated, which bored her to death) on ideas for new pranks, pulling said pranks (often on the other Legendaries, which has landed Mew in trouble a few times), saving the Tree of Origin with help from a Lucario and some kid named Red (...I'll admit, I had no direct influence in that one, but since it involved Mew being sick I at least hovered, invisible and intangible, over the Lucario's shoulder the whole time), and making coffee.

I also did gardening for Shaymin on the side, among other things.

It didn't suit me as well as I might have wanted it to, since Mew was usually hyperactive and cheerful, and I was usually calm and quiet. But it was more interesting than the alternative, to me.

I say usually, since there are times Mew seems to just run out of steam and does nothing that day, and I end up doing work for another Deity.

That was how I found her this morning, actually, slumped over the dining room table staring intently at her coffee mug, which sat a few inches in front of her nose and read Don't Talk to Me Until This is Empty!

I padded around her chair and jumped into the one to her left, facing the kitchen door. The table was square, made of finished wood, and grew straight out of the floor (courtesy of Celebi). The chairs were the same way, exept that they could move if you told them too. Behind Mew there were cabinets filled with ornate china, and behind me was the door to the living room, with the counter, fridge, and sink to the side of that. The other wall was mostly bare except for the window, which showed nothing but pure whiteness, and signified that the house was in fact stationed somewhere between the physical world and the not-so-physical world.

I was about to ask Mew if she was feeling alright, but she spoke first.

"Deities."

"...Er... Come again?"

"Deities," she repeated in a flat voice, her eyes closed. "Such a powerful word, don't you think?"

"Er..." I said again.

"It implies grace and majesty, talks of the halls where Gods and Goddesses gather and discuss the fate of the world, of infinite power and infinite knowledge..."

"Are you feeling alright, Mew?" I cut across her.

"I'm tired." She opened her eyes and stared at the coffee cup, which glowed, levitated towards her muzzle, and tipped slightly. She took a sip, and the mug returned to its previous position. "Coffee?"

"No, thank you."

"I mean, I'm a deity, right!?" she continued suddenly, jerking her head towards me and staring at me intensely.

"Y-yes," I stammered, frightened by her suddenness.

"Which means I've got lots of power, lots of knowledge... I'm pretty powerful, right!?"

"Yes, y-you are."

"If I'm so powerful, why am I so tired? I'm the Goddess of hyperactivity, for Arceus' sake!" The coffee mug was swept off of the table with an invisible hand and shattered against the opposite wall, coffee spilling everywhere. I flinched at the noise.

"Y-you're--!" I began, but had to duck off of my chair as Mew picked it up mentally and chucked it against the windowed wall.

"I'm happy! I'm cheerful! Everything I do is in good spirits, yes, that's Mew, alright!" she shouted, her eyes wide open and glowing blue. "I've got lots of energy, and I like my job! I've been doing it for thousands of years, after all, and that's dedication by anyone's standards, right!? Right!?"

"Right!" I shouted back helplessly as the china spilled out of the cabinet behind Mew, shattering into a thousand pieces on the floor.

"Why are you upset!?" I shouted as Mew floated, irate, around the room.

"Why? Why!? Because no one, once, has asked Mew to do anything beyond 'Oh, tell me a joke, Mew!' or 'Hey, do something funny!' I'm nothing but an entertainer for the Gods, a jester! Not to mention that I have to deal with young children on a daily basis and that can get irritating after five thousand years, let Mew tell you!"

She ripped the Starly clock (merely a decorative object, as Mew never bothered to set it) off of the wall and chucked it at me. I leapt out of the way with a quick "Hey!"

"I like kids. And I like my job. But no one cares. No one ever says 'Thanks!' No one even ever asks how I'm doing!"

"...I do," I reprimanded her quietly.

She paused in the middle of picking up the one chair still standing, and set it back down. Then she dropped down into it, her tail hanging underneath the table and swaying a little bit in front of me. I brought up the end of my own tail and touched hers just slightly.

There was a thud as Mew's forehead hit the table above me. I winced.

She moaned slightly. Looking around for an unbroken chair, I found one and righted it after a few moments, and then leapt onto the table.

"Ght offth' tbbl," muttered Mew through the wood of the table.

Every mother has rules.

I leapt down onto the chair again and placed my front paws on the wooden surface. "Are you feeling better, Mew?"

"No." She lifted her face off of the table and hummed absently. There was an abrupt wrenching and everything was suddenly as it had been before Mew had thrown everything about. "Well," she amended. "I don't feel like throwing things about any more, at least. But I'm still tired. I need a break."

"A break?"

"Sure... Every other Deity's had the chance to sleep for awhile, but that goes against my nature, you know?" The restored coffee cup floated over to the sink and drained the undrunk coffee. Apparently Mew didn't want it anymore. "Besides, I can't rest as long as I have a purpose in what I do--I put fun into the world, I make children happy..." She glanced in my direction. "I comfort the dead."

And the dead are always dying, I thought glumly.

"Omnipresence gets to you after awhile. I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did..."

Mew floated up out of her chair and shook herself off. "But that's not really important, I suppose, since I can't take a break..."

"Who said you couldn't?"

I jumped at the sound of the new, deeper voice, my tail jerking straight up. Mew twisted around in the air to look past me. I turned around and, as I'd expected, saw Arceus standing in the doorway.

I was planning on greeting him, but Mew seemed to forget I was there and responded in a flat voice, "If I remember right, you did."

Arceus feigned surprise. "I did?"

I looked back at Mew, who was glaring daggers at the Creation Pokémon. Then she sighed. "Well, you didn't say it outright, but... Never have I been given an opportunity, in five thousand years, to take a break."

Arceus looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, erm... I must admit... I thought you liked your job so much that..."

"That I'd never need one?" Mew started to look angry again; I swallowed and crawled under the table again.

"Five thousand years is a good stretch," Arceus continued hastily. "Er... A new record, isn't it?"

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Mew spat finally. "Need a good joke?"

"No, actually," said Arceus, sounding more confident. "I was more concerned about the Starly clock." When Mew simply stared at Him blankly, he continued. "Let's just say I noticed your...um... tantrum this morning, and came to say that you're absolutely right. You do love your job, and you do it well."

"...Poor attempt at a pep talk," Mew muttered irritably.

"Today's not just a good day for you, is it, dear feline?" chuckled Arceus. "I would have thought you'd be at least a little happier after your coffee. But my point is that you can take a break, if you really think you need one. After all, you have a substitute who seems to enjoy this line of work."

"What?" said Mew. "What did you just say?"

"I said you do have a suitable substitute--"

"No, no, before that!"

"Er... That... you can take a break," Arceus enunciated carefully.

"I can!?" What was left of Mew's bad temper vanished in an instant and she began rocketing around the room, cheering. After a moment, still doing laps about the level of the curtain rod, she asked, "But who's my substitute?"

"Uh... Yeah, who?" I asked, poking my nose out from under the table. Arceus looked at me and His eyes glowed gold. There was a wrenching feeling and I was suddenly floating in front of His face.

"You."

"Oh, uh... What?" I asked, dazed.

"Yes, yes!" shouted Mew. "You'll do wonderfully."

The reality of what this seemed to mean began to sink in. "M-me? Take Mew's place? B-but--"

"Only for a little while, Diego," said Mew, floating down to my level. "You will do it, won't you, buddy?"

She had saved me from a boring eternity, at least. And she'd been taking care of me (or at least keeping me with her) for the past few years. Besides, when it all came down to it, she was a goddess.

Despite the nagging feeling that I was getting into something I did not really want, I responded, "Yeah, alright... Uh... For a little while."

Arceus smiled.

There was a bright flash, another wrenching feeling, and then everything changed.

A cliffhanger, this early in the story... Well, I figured this was a pretty good stopping point, anyway.

Reviews are nice. Constructive criticism. But please... No flames.

Until next time...