A/N: I made the most random 'Twilight' connection today:

I was watching 'Family Guy'.

Yeah.

It was from the episode where Chris goes to an island for the Peace Corps and gets married because he was a freshman.

Stewie was in a musical called 'My Left Foot', which reminded me of the scene in 'The Producers' (not the disgusting movie musical, the actual play) during 'Springtime for Hitler' when

Stalin,

FDR,

and Winston Churchill

come out and have a tap dance-off with Hitler.

And I was semi-reading 'Eclipse'.

And I thought of Carlisle, who is British, which made me think of Winston Churchill.

I love Winston Churchill, he is the shiz.

That is the most random connection.

Ever.

Anyway, here's the chap!

FUN FACT: The ORIGINAL 1979 Broadway Cast of Sweeney Todd is the best. Better than the George Hearn one, waaaay better than the Michael Cerveris once, and EXTREMELY WAY WAY BETTER than the Johnny Depp one. Len Cariou pwns you all.

I laid a hand on Dr Cullen's shoulder, "How would you like to star in my screenplay?"

Evidently, that wasn't the reaction he was expecting. He stood there for a minute, letting what I had just said sink in.

"Uh…W-what's it ab-b-bout?" He stammered, coming to realization.

I should be the one stammering and coming to my senses.

"It's about a vampire doctor, kinda like yourself. I filmed a couple scenes already, but we can shoot them again and make you Dr Acula. That way, instead of me drinking fruit punch, it'll be you drinkin—"

"JD, stop! That is the most preposterous idea for a movie since 'Paint Your Wagon'!" he snapped.

"Maybe if I show you the script…" I offered.

Carlisle sighed, "Maybe some other time I'll look at it."

I felt as like it was time to leave the bathroom. I cocked my head towards the door and we both walked out together.

"What time is it?" I asked.

Carlisle glanced at his watch, "Almost 6:30. When's your shift over?"

"Ten minutes ago."

He shrugged and I went back to Bobby's room. He asked to go find Dr Cox to see when he could work with patients on his own.

I didn't see him again until 10:00, when Carla, Elliot, Turk, and I were going to go to the bar. I was in dire need of an appletini. Elliot was the first to react to his presence.

"Hiiii Dr Cullen," she grinned.

"Hello, Dr Reid," he nodded.

"Call me Elliot. Please," She flicked her hair behind her.

"Carlisle," he smiled that brilliant smile again.

Elliot stood there dumbfounded for a few minutes. Carla was in a state of shock, too. But she came out of it before Elliot did.

"Would you like to go get some drinks with us?" she inquired, giggling.

He looked at me. I was giggling, too.

Carlisle looked at his watch again and shrugged. "Sure, but not for a long. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

Elliot squealed and clapped her hands together, and she, Carla, followed by a loyal-for-once Turk, ran to the cars in such a way that I have never seen before.

Carlisle looked at me, eyebrows raised. I could only muster a shrug back. We both laughed and he slapped me on the back in a friend-like way as we headed towards the parking lot.

Elliot and Carla were waiting in front of the bar. I had just walked up to them, watching Carlisle find a place to park.

"Look at his car!" shrieked Elliot, pointing to the shiny black Mercedes cruising wonderfully across the asphalt.

"Just as lovely as he is…" sighed Carla.

"Baby!" Turk and I accused in unison. He had poked his head out of the door at that moment anyway, since he had to ask Carla for a few dollars so he could buy a drink. I high-fived my Chocolate Bear, and he decided to wait for the new doctor, too.

A few minutes later, Carlisle finally parked and was striding towards the entrance where we stood.

"Sorry to make you wait, guys. You really didn't need to," he said politely. He smiled at Elliot, making her grab her sides and mumble something about feeling queasy. He winked at me, so I knew that he as just trying to work her up.

"I think he's hitting on me!" she stage-whispered to Carla accidentally being a little too loud. Carlisle burst into laughter, which brought Elliot's hyperness level down a notch.

"Let's just go inside," Turk said pointedly.

We all sat at the bar and got our usual post-work beverages. Carlisle, of course, had nothing.

"Hey, Car-Car, are you okay?" Elliot said flirtatiously, irritating Dr Cullen.

"'Car-Car'?" his eyes narrowed, "Never, ever, ever again."

"But Car-Ca—"

"NO!" he shouted, but not too loud so people would look at us. Elliot slumped in her barstool, her feelings were heart. Carlisle could tell. He put his arm around her shoulder, "Sorry, Elliot. You all right?"

"Yeah… sure ya don't want a drink?" she asked, sniffling.

"How about a Bloody Mary?!" I blurted loudly. In return, I got an extra special Carlisle death stare.

"Jay… Dee…" he started panting.

"Sorry! Sorry! Slipped," I put my hand over my mouth.

"You like Bloody Marys, Dr Cullen? I'll be glad to get you one," Carla said, raising her hand to get the bartender's attention.

Carlisle glared at me again, "No, Carla, please don't. I'm not in the mood for one right now." He glared at me again. I attempted a smile.

Elliot rubbed his hand to comfort him, and she suddenly moved hers away, "Eep! Carlisle, are you okay? You feel awfully cold."

He sighed and stared at the ceiling, shrugging. He looked at Elliot and said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Yes, I'm fine. I had an… accident some years ago and my usual temperature is very cold."

"What sort of accident?" inquired Carla, trying at the same time to get close with Carlisle and to start a conversation.

"I'd… rather not talk about it," he glanced at me.

We were silent for a few minutes, but Elliot could always be counted on to break the tension. She fully turned towards Carlisle and looked him straight in the eye:

"Are you busy Saturday night?"

Carla, Turk, and I all fell silent and waited for Carlisle's response. He was quiet for a minute and he answered, "Dr Reid—Elliot… I am a happily married man with five wonderful children. So, yes, I am busy Saturday night."

Elliot thought he was kidding, "Ha, ha. Yeah. Okay. But, seriously. Saturday night. You. Me. Cute little Italian restaurant. Maybe a romantic comedy down at the cinema?"

"Dr Reid I am absolutely serious! I—" Carlisle's cell phone was laying on the counter when it lit up and began playing "Ode to Joy". He reached for it as Elliot held the device up to her face.

"Who is… Eeeessmmii?" she asked, trying to read the unfamiliar name. She giggled and opened the phone, "Hello, Eesmi?"

Carlisle angrily snatched the phone from Elliot. His eyes were like flashing daggers, "That's Ez-may. E-S-M-E. And she is my wife." He strode away and I could barely hear him say, "Sorry, darling. Esme. That was some girl from work. She…"

"Oh, shiz, girl! You's a-in trouble!" Turk and I said simultaneously, even snapping our fingers in a 'Z' formation at the same time.

Elliot bit at one of her nails nervously and took a sip of her drink, "Shit."

A/N: Oh snap! What will happen!?!? Looking for a co-author, by the way! Please message me if you are interested! Next chap comin' soon! While you're waiting, check out my other Carlisle-tastic fic: Carleeny Todd: The Demon Doctor of Fleet Street!

Peace. Love. Save the whales.