A/N: Hola burritos! So, due to my newfound dislike of Twilight, I have not been updating or posting any new stories on the subject. I've somehow regenerated my rabid-fangirl obsession with Les Misérables. I love Les Mis. Forever. It's the thing that made me come to this site in the first place, and I've started to love it as I once day nigh on five years ago. :D
Vive Enjolras! (less-than-sign three)

But, I'm not abandoning this fic, 'cause I really hate when authors do that… But Breaking Dawn and the movie have really made me mad at Twilight and everything associated with it… But I still like Scrubs and I still wear my Team Carlisle/Breaking Dawn shirt to bed every night… just giving you an update. I AM NOT GOING TO ABANDON "MY DR ACULA", I PROMISE!
Any questions or concerns? I also promise that if you message me, I will promptly message you back.

And, as I started this before that sorry excuse for a novel called Breaking Dawn, Bella is still a human and her and Eddiekinz are not engaged yet. You'll see why later… :D

Disclaimer: You can figure it out, you're smart.

ESME POV

I swung my legs against the backing of the sink in the Ladies' Room. The faucet next to me kept dripping and I couldn't make it stop. I decided to go find a janitor.

I was about to get up when the door flung open and a nurse came inside. I was crying on the inside from what had happened earlier, and she could tell.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hello," I answered, keeping my head down.

"That was some scuffle back there. Way to go, someone else needed to try to knock some sense into that little girl from Connecticut."

"Of course," I laughed, "You saw it?"

"Um… duh! Just about everyone did!" she laughed also.

Lovely.

"Oh, right. What did you say your name was?" I asked.

"Oh, sorry! I'm Carla Espinosa… Turk…leton. You?"

"Esme Cullen."

"Esme… that's a new one. Well, wanna go grab a coffee or something?" Carla smiled.

"Uh… sure!" I returned her smile and the two of us left the bathroom together.

This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

JASPER POV

"Do you really know where Carlisle is or are you just leading me down random halls so you can spend more time with me?" I asked, glaring at the pervy man in green scrubs next to me.

"Uh… well… Would you be mad at me if I said it was a little mixture of both? And by a little mixture I mean mostly the second choice you said…" The Todd grinned.

Facepalm.

A few minutes later, the sight of Carlisle leaning on a counter outside the nurses' station greeted me.

"I told you I know where he is!" Todd grinned even wider.

"You just randomly walked into him, I bet," I sighed.

Todd was about to respond, but then he just lowered his head and walked away.

"What happened, Carlisle?" I asked.

"Um… do we really have to talk about it?" he said, pained.

"Well, I'm not Edward Creeperface, so you're going to have to tell me."

"Jazz, it's— ah, never mind, you're right."

And then he explained to me how Esme lost her cool.

"She never does that! Well, there was that one time in 19—" I started.

"Doctor… Cullen?" wearily asked a blonde doctor who had just gotten up from what appeared to be sleeping on the hospital floor.

"Elliot? Are you okay?" asked Carlisle.

"Meh… I guess so. Can you ask JD or someone to cover the rest of my shift? I think I'm going home…" she dusted off her white coat and waited until Carlisle nodded to leave.

"Ooooh, Carlisle as a crushy-kins!" giggled Todd, who decided to come out of the abyss.

"No! Seriously, why does everyone think that?!? GAH!!" Carlisle grabbed a few patient files and stormed off in a huff.

"Dude, was that really necessary?!" I frowned at the Todd.

"Um… yes?"

"SCORAGE MAYJUHRZ!" I yelled, proposing a high-five to the Todd.

"DUDE, I LOVE YOU!!" Todd yelled back.

I quickly lowered my hand, "Um… kay?"

"LOVEZ YA FIVE!!"

And then I high-fived him.

Alice is just going to lurve this…

Le sigh.

JANITOR'S POV

Rosalie was in her cat suit. The hover car was full of gas. And, to top it off, I spotted JD nonchalantly walking down the hall. Perfect.

I nudged Rose to leap out at him.

"MEOW!" she screeched.

Hospital traffic stopped, and those heart-y-track-y-boop-y machines were going, like, a mile a minute.

"Buh… hi?" JD said as he was about to go into one of his daydreams.

I could see it now… I bet he was that he was dreaming that they were um… what were their names… oh, yeah! I bet he was Mungojerrie and she was Rumpleteazer from "Cats" and they were dancing around his room or something in cat attire.

JD danced a little bit, and, with perfect jazz hands, sang, "And there's nothing at all to be done about that!"

Yep, I was right. Why am I so good at these things? I should get a sticker. Like, seriously.

Just then, Rose seemed to let down her guard a bit, "OHMIGAWD I LOVE 'CATS'!"

JD opened his mouth quite widely and gasped, "LAWLZ! ME TOO!"

"WE SHOULD GO SEE IT!"

"OMFGBBQ HELLZ YEAH!"

"I'M GOING TO GO FIND TICKETS NOW ONLINE, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. GIMME YOUR NUMBER!" Rosalie held out her cell phone to him and he quickly typed in his number. She then did the same for him on his phone.

"I'LL CALL YOU, JD!"

"MMKAY, ROSE! THANKS SO MUCH!"

Rosalie then left the hospital, completely neglecting to change out of her cat costume, might I add, and whistling what I thought was "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats. God, I hate that song.

Outside, I could hear the hover car run out of gas as it crashed to the asphalt of the parking lot.

Great.

EMMETT POV

Alice, Edward, Bella, and I thought it was going to be a normal Thursday afternoon. But… no.

"Rosie-poo! I'm home!" I cried into the vacant house.

"Rawrz, Bella-tron hungryz!" Bella squealed as she attempted to ear Edward's sleeve.

"Bella, you're silly," the aforementioned Edward patted his pet human/robot-tron on the head.

"Hold up, guys! I have a vision!" Alice said as she stretched out her arms.

"What is it, Al-Gal?" I asked.

She looked at me snarkily, "Wait… I lied."

A chorus of aw, man s echoed throughout the house.

"Or am I?" Alice grinned sneakily. Kinda like Rene Auberjonois when he rapes little boys--I mean what?

TO BE CONTINUED/I HAVE TO GO WATCH 'PUSHING DAISIES' NOW, SO PLEASE REVIEW AND I'LL UPDATE VERY SOON SINCE WINTER BREAK IS IN ONE WEEK! :D

While you're waiting, why don't you go check out my hilarious new Les Mis fic, "Ep Qui Qui at Le Cafe Musain"? You don't really have to understand Les Mis in its glorious entirety to get it, and it's a parody of "Bon Qui Qui"! Now, who could resist that, hm?