I don't own Pokémon or any related copyrights. Nintendo does.

Chapter 7 - Politics

+Diego+

"You don't need to be so nervous!" Mesprit chided.

"You act as though you do not know us at all, when in fact I, at least, have known you for four years, seven moths, twenty-seven days, two hours, and ten minutes," stated Uxie matter-of-factly.

"So go, go, go, get in there already!" insisted Azelf.

I sighed and looked around at the Lake Trio again. We were just outside the Hall of Origin, wherein the other Pokémon gods had gathered in for a meeting. I, however, had balked just outside the entryway, and, seeing this, the Pokémon representing Arceus' intrinsic powers (omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence, respectively, in the order they had just spoken) had drifted out the gateway and were now attempting to get me into the meeting.

"...Eleven minutes," stated Uxie, almost as an afterthought.

"You're a god now!" said Azelf.

"I know, but--"

The Willpower Pokémon cut me off again. "So no one can blast you for doing something wrong."

"If I may," said the Uxie crisply, "if anything Mew is expected to mess up. Twelve minutes."

"Will you shut up about that!?" snapped Azelf.

"It helps lighten the mood..." said Mesprit dreamily.

I blinked, deciding nearly anything would be better than trying to understand the backpawed manner in which the Lake Trio operated, and pushed my way past them into the Hall of Origin.

Or, perhaps more accurately, I shot past the Lake Trio and, because of the strange laws of astral physics, bashed my unsolid head against Arceus' solid hoof.

"Finally!" I heard Shaymin call out shrilly as the Lake Trio glided in after me. "Mew always keeps us waiting!"

Most of me wanted to get up and begin apologizing profusely. To my surprise, however, and seemingly against my will, I floated upwards and landed on Arceus' head lazily.

"Off, Progenitor," said Arceus in a weary tone.

This time I did manage to say "Sorry!" and hastily floated to an empty spot in the vaguely-rectangular group of deities. My mind recognized them for me, though at that point I did not particularly care. Arceus was closest to the entryway, facing away from it; on his right was Dialga, and following clockwise (from my perspective) were Groudon, myself, Ho-Oh, Articuno, Raikou, Entei, Manaphy, Heatran, Latias, Darkrai, Giratina, Cresselia, Rayquaza, Regigigas (with Regice, Regirock, and Registeel standing solidily behind it), Jirachi, Suicune, Zapdos, Moltres, Lugia, Celebi, Kyogre, and Dialga. Drifting counterclockwise in the middle were the Lake Trio and Phione.

I didn't particularly care. Though I would have expected to be thoroughly fascinated by what was about to occur, I found myself bored witless before Arceus even opened his mouth. There was a strange, uncurable 'itch' at the back of my mind, and whenever I tried to 'scratch' it I came away with images of Mew.

"This marks yet another anniversary since the humans arrived..." he began.

"Yeah, what are we on, now?" I asked, cutting him off, externally suave but internally slapping my paws across my mouth in fear.

"Will whoever is doing it please stop exerting the Collective Mind upon Diego?" said Mesprit quickly. "I feel he should act as himself, not as everyone expects Mew to act."

"Go jump in a lake," muttered Groudon.

"Hey!" yelled Azelf.

"Quiet!" barked Arceus. "I agree with Mesprit. Heatran, stop it. Mesprit, release Diego from the Collective Mind."

The Lava Dome Pokémon grumbled and shifted slightly. The strange subconscious prodding that had caused me to act more like Mew immidiately abated.

"...The Collective Mind?"

"The Collective Mind," spouted Uxie instantly, sounding somewhat like Ren's Pokédex. "A technique used by most powerful Legendary Pokémon to influence others based upon how the general collective is thinking. It can be used as a method of voting that cannot be lied or cheated past, though Mesprit would certainly know if such a thing happened in any case. To be removed from the Collective Mind is usually a source of shame; however, in this instance it is to let you retain your personality."

I blinked, nonplussed.

"Because everyone present excepting Phione and yourself, Diego, has been part of this pantheon for upwards of five-hundred years..."

In the center, Phione smiled and waved at me. "I'm only seventy!"

"...we, myself included, have begun having certain expectations regarding the Progenitor or Mischeif-Maker, that is to say, Mew, whose Office you are filling. Due to those expectations, the Collective Mind is exerting pressure upon you to behave in a manner similar to Mew."

"It is a terribly frightening thing when you first experience it," said Mesprit, continuing as the Knowledge Pokémon fell silent. "All of us have experienced it at one time or another, and we all know. But it's so difficult to expect anything different from a personality as distinctive as Mew's..."

"You will be rejoined to the Mind slowly," said Arceus. "So the pressures are not immidiately thrust upon you, as Heatran especially was attempting to do. Of course your personality will change, there is no going around that..."

I stared around at all the other Pokémon, who responded with looks of indifference, agreement, support, and, in one case, irritation. "I'm not sure... I mean, okay, I guess, but..."

"Back to the matter at hand," Arceus began, and the authoritive timbre in his voice caused everyone to look towards him. "It's been twelve-thousand years now, give or take--"

"Twelve-thousand, one-hundred and two," said Uxie.

"Thank you, Knowledge," said Arceus tersely. "If I may get to the point?" No one else spoke. "Thank you. Now...

"As you know, we usually only do something special for these anniversaries on the centennials, but I have noticed a growing amount of tension between certain counterparts..." The Creator paused slightly, his eyes flicking towards Groudon and then Kyogre, "...haven't been getting on quite as well as they should."

"What?" spat Kyogre.

"Yeah, what d'you mean, Arceus?" asked Groudon.

"Don't play me for a fool," said Arceus. "I created you. I know what you do when you think I'm not looking."

There was an ominous silence following this semiprofound statement. Then Groudon whimpered, "...Everything?"

"Everything--Hm?" Arceus paused as Dialga leaned toward her brother and whispered something. "Will she? Coming from her, that's amazing."

"I don't think she will mean it as a compliment..." Dialga said aloud.

Arceus made a motion akin to a shrug. "Anyway. Everyone will spend the next decade with their counterparts, including myself but excepting Diego."

Everyone except Arceus, Phione, and I groaned.

"A decade?" Then I noticed that Arceus had mentioned me. "...Me? Why not?"

"You are new," stated Uxie. Arceus' eyes flashed at the Knowledge Pokémon, apparently angry that a subservient legendary Pokémon would continually steal the words out of his mouth. "This is a grand opportunity for you to meet everyone else."

All the Pokémon were eying their counterparts warily. Groudon and Kyogre were practically firing Hyper Beams out of their eyes at the other. Heatran shrugged and waddled away; Celebi and Manaphy, with Phione, were smiling slightly.

Then I noticed Azelf staring in my direction somewhat reluctantly. I stared back, dumbfounded.

With no warning, Uxie began speaking from behind me. I jumped nearly four feet as the Knowledge Remnant's voice spoke behind me, "Azelf and Mew are counterparts--The Being of Willpower and the Being of, if you will, Fun, which are more or less inherently opposite."

I turned back to look at Uxie who, of course, kept his eyes closed. "Do you scare people regularly?"

"Forgive me. I am simply used to being unable to scare Mew." Uxie drifted past me and back to Mesprit.

"At least it's only a decade..." muttered Darkrai quite audibly from the other side of the chamber.

Cresselia humph!ed.

"So it is said," barked Palkia.

There was an indecipherable mumble from the crowd.

"So it is said!" shouted Azelf, rather louder than the Spacial Pokémon.

"...So it shall be done," was heard half-heartedly.

"Away," said Arceus to the crowd. "Starting next week you're rooming with your counterpart. Enjoy your momentary reprieve. Just... get out of my sight, you bunch of immature children!"

I could understand Arceus' frustration. For gods, the Legendaries were awfully immature.

"Return to your duties!" shouted Azelf, eyes still locked on mine.

Whoosh! At the command of the Remnant of Willpower, every Pokémon in the Hall, aside from Dialga, Palkia, and Arceus himself, were swept away and back to their domains.

I found myself back in one of the chairs in Mew's abode, but I hardly noticed this--I was still confused about the odd way the deities seemed to operate, a manner which I'd never noticed before. More importantly, however, I was concerned about what I had seen in Azelf's eyes.

Is he... jealous that I've taken Mew's spot?

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay. What else can I say? I've been working on other things--though recently I have to admit I haven't been working on anything at all.