Chapter Eight

*Author's Note: Sorry, guys, this one is a wee bit longer than the rest...but I just couldn't find a good stopping point! Enjoy!*

I didn't know where I was going. I remembered my dream—what a dark and terrible dream!—and suddenly I was filled with an overwhelming urge to find Demeter. Once I reached the junkyard, I realized that I didn't even know where Demeter lived. She had been born a junkyard cat, but if my memory served me correctly, I remembered Coricopat mentioning that Demeter and Bombalurina shared the same human.

I sat on the sidewalk and closed my eyes, opening the telepathic tunnels once again. I concentrated on Demeter, recalling a thousand different flashes of her face in order to establish the link. Suddenly, my feet began to move and I traveled through the dark and damp streets of London until I reached a small house. I leapt to the windowsill and peered inside cautiously. I could see Demeter's small form stretched out across the couch, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm as she slept peacefully.

So it was just a dream.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to go. Now that my initial fear had worn off, my mind began to question itself. Why did I dream about Demeter? Sure, we had been friends as kittens, but now there was no close connection between us. She had been friendly towards me, but so had Teathrice, and yet I did not dream of the grey queen.

I shook the thoughts from my head and chalked it up to not getting enough sleep and having an overactive imagination. I still had to find a place to sleep for the night. With a heavy sigh, I made my way through the streets once more. I found a kindly homeless woman who let me curl up beside her in the alleyway. I felt a slight sense of camaraderie as I slept next to her—two outcasts, living on the fringes of the world and still surviving. Coricopat and I used to be like that. Now we were complete strangers. I missed him.

~*~

The next morning I set out once more, determined to find a home for myself. My last humans had been a young couple who barely stayed at home—apparently they traveled a lot. This time, I decided to go for an old woman. They were always the kindest.

I found one who looked promising, but sadly I realized that she lived in my old neighborhood—just a few doors down from Jennyanydots. I could not stay in such close proximity to my mother.

It seemed that my luck had run out—if I ever had any luck to begin with. I decided to pass the night in the junkyard—it wasn't the best place, but at least I would be safe. I climbed into my usual perch in the tree, found a space large enough to sleep in, and quietly drifted off.

~*~

My whole body was sore from sleeping on the rough tree branch. I blinked in the bright sunlight, slowly stretching out my tired muscles. I looked down to see Bombalurina making her way through the yard, looking around distractedly. Her pretty face bore an expression that I had never seen before—one of concern. You could almost say she looked frightened.

I knew something was up. Bombalurina did not even stop to flirt with any of her pets, much less smile at them. This was not like her at all.

She made her way to Alonzo, her mouth pursed in worry. Even her voice had lost its usual seductive air, "Alonzo, have you seen Demeter?"

"Can't say that I have," the black and white tom replied nonchalantly. Then, noticing the queen's worried expression, he suddenly became more concerned, "Why? What's wrong, Bomba?"

"I haven't seen her in a coupla days," the red queen admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she hasn't been home for the past two nights. I'm scared, Alonzo," her dark brown eyes declared that she wasn't lying about that last statement. "This isn't like Dem at all."

"I know," Alonzo agreed, his brow furrowing into a hard line. "C'mon. We have to go find Munku."

The two cats left the yard again, and I felt a stab of fear pierce my stomach. Oh, Bast, had my dream come true?

In an instant, I knew that it had.

I had to do something. I left my perch and set out to find Munkustrap. I didn't know where Demeter was, but I knew she was in trouble. If anyone would know what to do, it would be the silver tabby. Munkustrap always knew what to do.

I found Munkustrap and Alonzo standing on the sidewalk. And for the first time in almost a year, I spoke. For Demeter, I broke my vow.

"Munkustrap," I said, much louder than I had intended. The silver tabby jumped at the jarring sound of my voice, turning around quickly to face me. He regarded me strangely—not with fear, but surprise, "Tantomile. How are you today?"

Typical Munkustrap. Even when things were going badly, he retained his manners.

"Demeter is in trouble," I croaked. Bast, after so many months of rest, my vocal chords were now holding a mutiny against me.

The Protector's eyes widened in concern, "What do you mean?"

"I know she's missing," I replied. Slowly but surely, my voice was getting better. "I don't know where she is or who took her, but I know she's in trouble. Someone has kidnapped her."

"What?!" Alonzo cried out in dismay. I nodded gravely, never taking my eyes from Munkustrap. The silver tabby looked at me curiously, "How do you know this?"

"I just…sensed it," I said simply. No sense in relaying my nightmare. I could see the realization dawn on both of their faces—the toms suddenly remembered that I was a mystic. How on earth could they have forgotten?

"Wait…" Alonzo's brain was working furiously now. "So…you can see the future, right? Could you possibly take a peek into the future and see what the place looks like? Find out where she is, who she's with?"

I shook my head, "It doesn't work like that. I only see what the Future allows me to see. We're lucky that I even knew she was kidnapped."

"Although that doesn't help us much," Munkustrap muttered to himself. He focused his intense eyes on me, "Do you remember anything from when you…sensed this?"

"I just remember hearing Demeter cry," I admitted, biting my lip as I tried to remember the dream. "And wherever she was, it was cold…and damp."

"Somewhere underground," Alonzo surmised. "Basement of sorts. It's summertime—that would be the only place cold or damp in this weather."

Munkustrap nodded in agreement. He turned to me hopefully, "Anything else?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but I was cut off by Alonzo's voice, "They're back!"

Munkustrap and I turned to see Bombalurina and Rum Tum Tugger making their way down the street. I could tell by the dark tom's expression that he was unhappy.

"Well?" Munkustrap stepped forward anxiously. I slipped back into the shadows of the yard. They did not need me anymore.

"Macavity has Demeter," Bombalurina declared, jutting her chin out in a rather dramatic manner. Rum Tum Tugger had moved away from her, crossing his arms in a sullen nature.

I felt my heart stop. Macavity? Oh, poor Demeter! I had heard tales of the gingercat's wicked deeds ever since I was a kit; I knew the evil he was capable of. And he had Demeter—my poor, sweet, beautiful Demeter!

I shocked myself with that last thought. My Demeter? Since when did she become mine?

When you prophesied about her, came the small voice inside my head. I disappeared further into the depths of the pipe, ignoring the continuing conversation amongst the other four Jellicles. I didn't prophesy about Demeter!

Yes you did.

Suddenly, my own words came hurtling back to me at full force.

On this night, many nights from tonight

A Jellicle will lose its flower

Oh, Bast and all the Cats in Heaviside! What had I done?

~*~

I was filled with an overwhelming need to find Teathrice. She was the only one who could help me.

I left the yard, quickly finding her human house. I don't think I had ever been there before; I simply knew where it was. I found the grey queen sunning herself in the windowsill, her eyes closed as she smiled contentedly to herself.

"Teathrice!" I called from below. I saw her gentle face appear in the windowpane, "Tantomile?"

"Please, I need your help," I looked up pleadingly. With a swift flick of her paw, Teathrice opened the window and landed lightly beside me on the ground. "What's wrong, Tantomile?"

She never asked why I had avoided her, or accused me of shutting her out or refused to help. She was simply there when I needed her. I will always be grateful for that.

"It's Demeter," I answered. "She's been taken by Macavity."

Teathrice gave a small cry of dismay. I continued, "And…and I think I might have caused it."

"What?" Teathrice's golden eyes flew open in shock. I nodded quickly, gulping back the tears that threatened my eyes, "I-I predicted it, all those years ago."

"A Jellicle will lose its flower," Teathrice breathed the words, suddenly remembering my prophecy. She looked at me, "But just because you foretold the future doesn't mean you could prevent it. You didn't even know what it was referring to, or that it would be Demeter! You couldn't have done anything about it, Tantomile."

"But I also had a dream—a vision—the night it happened," I admitted. "And I went to check on her. She was fine…sleeping peacefully. So I left. I should have stayed. If I had been there, none of this would have happened. If I had—"

"Are you serious?" Teathrice looked at me incredulously. "Tantomile, if Macavity's got her, it's because he wanted her. Macavity gets what Macavity wants. Nothing you could have done would have changed that."

"But I had been there—"

"You would have what? Fought him off with your claws?" Teathrice gave a dark laugh. "Tantomile, you would have been defenseless against him. Macavity's a conjuring cat. No, dear, if you had been there, the only thing that would have changed would be that Macavity would have two captives instead of one…if he decided to let you live."

I shuddered at the thought of becoming Macavity's prisoner. Still, I thought to myself, if he had taken me, at least I could have been there to take care of Demeter. Despite Teathrice's words and the truth behind them, I couldn't help but feel guilty about the whole ordeal. I had a gift, and yet I couldn't use it to protect the others. What was the point in having such a gift?

As if she had read my mind, Teathrice put a comforting paw on my shoulder, "Don't blame yourself, Tantomile. You couldn't have known, and even if you did know, you couldn't have done anything about it."

I nodded morosely, trying to overcome the feelings of doubt that struggled in my breast. My mind replayed Demeter's cries, like an endless reel; I could not shake the sound from my head. Teathrice stood up, "Come. We cannot change the past, but we can do something about the present. Let us see what we can do to help the others."

I followed her back to the yard, where Rum Tum Tugger was organizing a search party. It was strange, seeing the carefree tom take such an authoritative role.

"Asparagus, take Cassandra and Tumblebrutus. Jenny, stay here with the kits. No, Cetty, you're too young to go."

"But Dem's my sister," tears filled Etcetera's eyes. Rum Tum Tugger crouched beside her, his arm wrapped comfortingly around the little queen, "I know, Cetty. But if you go out looking for her, we'll be busy worrying about you. So the way to help us is to stay here."

The kitten nodded, tears streaking down her cheeks. Tugger stood once more, resuming his directions, "Admetus, go with Skimble. Pouncival, you're too young. Stay here."

"What can we do?" Teathrice stepped forward, her eyes set in concern. The maine coon motioned to us, "You two, go with Roary. Notekins will take Jellyorum and Coricopat. Alright, everyone, each of you take a section of the city and search it from top to bottom. Pay close attention to abandoned warehouses and places that are underground, like basements."

Perhaps I had helped a little. They were using my details to help find Demeter.

Roary Huffersnuff, a red and black tabby with a scar across his cheek, stepped forward. "Let's get to work, ladies."

Teathrice nodded and quickly trotted after him. I did the same. I didn't know Roary very well—just enough to be very afraid of him. I knew he was an Elder and a fighter of the worst kind. Still, he upheld the Law of the Jellicle and gave Old Deuteronomy the respect and honor that he deserved.

"How could this have happened?" He asked in a low tone, not bothering to look at me or Teathrice.

"I don't know," Teathrice admitted softly, moving slightly closer to the tom. "These things happen, Roary. You know this."

"Not on my watch," he growled. He shook his head, "I was watching the perimeter the evening she was taken. How could I not have seen it?"

"I don't think it happened at the Ball," Teathrice said quietly. There was something strange in the way she comforted him. Suddenly, I realized it. They were lovers. Maybe not now, but at some point, these two had been lovers. In fact, by the way they acted, it had been a very long time since they had been together, but the bond between them still remained.

For once, I was not filled with jealousy. I suppose I was too busy worrying about Demeter. In fact, I felt slightly happy—happy for Teathrice. She had known love, and possibly heartbreak, if the tender way she spoke to him held any indication, and I was happy that my friend had lived in some small way.

~*~

We did not find Demeter. No matter how hard I tried to reconnect with the intuition that had led me to her door, I could not find her. Wherever she was, she was too weak to function, which kept me from picking up on her telepathic pulse. Perhaps she was unconscious. I shuddered at the other possibility—perhaps she was dead. No, something deep inside told me that she was still alive.

"Any luck?" Asparagus looked up at us hopefully as we entered the yard. Roary shook his head, "Sorry."

Asparagus' face fell in disappointment. Then, it relit with guarded hope, "There's still another team out there. Perhaps they've got her."

I knew how hard this must have been for Asapargus—to know that his sister was in the clutches of the evilest cat in London, and perhaps the world. To know that even if Demeter survived, she would bear the scar of Macavity forever…oh, Demeter!

The last team returned without the black and gold queen. We all sat around in a circle, all dead-tired but too distraught to return home. For once, the others did not recoil at my presence. Their eyes were not filled with fear—no, their eyes were dull, devoid of emotion as they dealt with the realization that Demeter may never return.

I saw Teathrice wrap her tail comfortingly around Roary; he returned the gesture. My mother sat next to them, the kittens all huddled around her like chicks beneath a hen. I watched how she cared for them—how tenderly she spoke, how softly she caressed their worried heads! I did not remember a single instance where she ever showed such affection toward me or my twin. Still, I did not have the strength to be angry.

Mil? Cori's voice whispered softly. I saw him seated beside Jellyorum, who smoothed Etcetera's fur comfortingly.

Yeah.

This was what you dreamed about, wasn't it?

It was, I admitted with an inner sigh. I went to check on her, after I left. And she was fine. I don't understand.

It's not your fault. My brother said gently. I just didn't want you to think that it was your fault.

I forced a small smile. I know.

And Mil?

What?

I know I haven't been the best brother in the world…hell, I've been the worst, Cori admitted with a sheepish grin. His face became solemn once again. I wasn't always there when you wanted me to be, but I've always been there when you needed me. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad about leaving—you had every right to do so. You put up with my selfishness for a long time. I never thought you'd get lonely because…well, you always seem so independent. Like you don't need anyone. And I'm always left feeling like I'm getting in the way. Like I'm burdening you with my neediness.

Burdening me?

Yes. Even when we were younger, you could do just fine on your own. But me, I always needed you beside me. I needed your approval, your confidence. But you didn't need any of that from me. Never understood it…and I began to feel like my need for you was…draining you in some way.

I almost laughed. Draining me of what? Cori, I had no one else but you! I don't mind being needed.

You say that now…Cori trailed off. But there will come a day when you find someone that you need…someone who will be all the things for you that I can't. But you'll still be worried about me, and you won't take that chance. You would throw away happiness just because I needed you. I know you, Mil, I know how you are.

Cori, what are you—

That's why I did it, Mil. That's why I stayed away. I wanted to prove to you, to prove to myself that I could live without you.

And could you? I asked, almost tentatively.

No.

I felt a smile spread across my lips—a genuine smile, the kind that actually reaches your eyes. I tried that too, Cori, and it failed. When you were going out with the toms, I felt so…empty inside. I don't want to feel like that for the rest of my life.

You won't, Corico promised, Because I'll be here for you. Nothing will come between us again, Mil. Nothing.

And this time, I knew he was telling the truth.