(A/N: This, I regret to say, will be the last Danny Phantom fanfiction that I will ever right. There's no easy way to say this, but I just don't LIKE "Danny Phantom" anymore. I've moved on to other fandoms. To all my readers who told me that I raised DP fanfiction to new heights, I cannot thank you enough. But it's not so sad that I'm done with DP. I've written at least four major works, with the DP movie fic my magnum opus.)

Dedication: I dedicate this fic to any and all people who have read my fanfictions and genuinely liked them, whether they reviewed or not.

Disclaimer: I do not own "Danny Phantom," and I no longer care.

So, this is how it all ends. Lying on an ice-flow in northern Canada with my torso hanging open, almost all of my blood pouring out, and at least 25 shattered bones.

My name is Danny Phantom, and as you can probably tell, I'm dying.

It all started about five years ago, when my parents started building a machine that could breach the barrier between the human world and the ghost dimension. Back then, I was just plain ol' Danny Fenton, the average teenage boy that struggled to fit in in high school, worked hard for less-than-perfect grades, and had a deep, secret crush on that cheap, hot Latino girl that every school seems to have a version of.

Oh my Lord, the Pain!

Sorry about that, where was I? Oh yeah. I only ever had three real friends: Tucker Achmed Foley, a computer nerd and hacker of the highest order; Samantha Gerridae Manson, who everyone calls "Sam" or else; and Valerie Amelia Grey, a fellow ghost-hunter with a mad-on for explosive weapons.

But anyway, I wouldn't have become Danny Phantom if it wasn't for Sam. So much depends on her, the most wonderful and beautiful - Did I mention that I've been in love with her since the day I met her? No? Well, I've been in love with her since the day I met her, only occasionally forgetting (like when Paulina wore that shirt that exposed the undersides of her boobs . . . wow, I didn't think I had enough blood left to get a hard-on). Sam convinced me that I needed to check out my parents' portal. So I did.

Now here's where everything goes weird. I checked out the portal, and it was cool, but when I tried to walk out, I stumbled, so I reached out my hand to steady myself with the wall. Innocent enough, right? Wrong. Turns out that I pressed a button when I tripped, and it turned on the machine.

The next thing I remember is a lot of green light and a loud, high-octave noise just ringing in my ears (according to Sam and Tucker, that was just my screaming). It wasn't painfully, exactly, but it was weird, like maggots were crawling all over my skin, chewing up parts of me and then puking them back out. At some point, I finally passed out.

I woke up in the hospital a day later, with my parents and sister around me. The doctor said that I absorbed enough radiation to make plutonium look like nothing, but I didn't seem to be adversely affected.

I realized, later, that I was. Blue rings surrounded my body, my hair turned white, and my eyes turned green. I was suddenly wearing the HazMat suit I had on before, but the colors were reversed.

Long story short, I became half-ghost. I spent months learning to control them, and then a few years just trying to help people. I finally got it into my head that you have a responsibility when you have power to help people. Like those old Spider-Man comics always say. It's all fun and games until someone loses an uncle.

I made powerful enemies, met powerful friends, and I saw things that no one should have to see, and even a few things that some people should see, but never will.

FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!!! A WOLVERINE IS EATING MY KIDNEY!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I was just hallucinating again. I haven't eaten since yesterday, but we'll get to that if I can hold on a little longer.

So anyway, I was a big-time superhero in my hometown, Amity Park, and they even made action-figures, jelly jars, and even underwear with my logo on it (I never saw a nickle of the profits because those slimy bastards said that I was a "public figure").

But things almost fell apart when my greatest enemy, Vlad Masters, tried to run my parents out of business (he's half ghost, too. Long story). I decided that I'd had enough with helping other people and getting nothing back, so I went back into the portal and had my powers removed (in retrospect, doing that made absolutely NO sense at all, but it worked).

I got them back when a comet was about to strike the earth. I got together all of the ghosts in the Ghost Zone and we made the whole world intangible. The comet passed right through it and Vlad got stuck on it.

The whole world found out that I was both Danny Phantom and Danny Fenton, but nobody seemed to care. I was more than a hero. I was a saint. Sam and I started going steady, and everything's been great for the last two years.

Ugh, my vision's starting to go and I can't feel . . . anything. Why am I not dead yet?

A few days ago, I was doing a routine patrol through the city when my Ghost Sense (little psychic alarm bells in my skull) went off. My heart almost stopped when I saw that it was caused by my evil future self, Dan (another story I don't have time for). He got out of a prison cell in . . . wherever the Hell he's been.

We'd been fighting nonstop for the last 90 or so hours when I started getting a little punchy. So was Dan, but I'd never fought this hard. I realized that neither of us was going to stop unless I did something. Permanently. So I mustered what little strength I had left with the various contusions and damages that I'd already gotten, grabbed Dan by the throat, and snapped his neck. I NEVER realized how much you pay when you take a life, but it's a price that no sane person can pay.

After Dan died, I just automatically switched back to my human form. This wouldn't have been a problem if only we hadn't been in the upper stratosphere at the moment.

I feel for a very long time before I hit the ground. When I woke up, I realized where I was and how badly I was hurt. How badly I AM hurt, I should say.

Well, that's it. It's amazing how philosophical a guy gets when he's about to take a dirt nap. I wish I'd been able to ask Sam to marry me. I wish that Tucker and I had had the chance to go out and get nuts at a strip club for my bachelor party. I wish that Valerie and I had never gotten drunk that one time and had carnal sex; and I REALLY wish that I hadn't nailed her one more time before we talked about how big a mistake it was.

Wow. I don't feel so cold anymore. I was completely blind a minute ago, but I can see white light now.

I've never been particularly religious, but right now, I believe that there is a God, and that He loves me so much that it hurts. I see my grandparents. They're beckoning me to walk into the light, and stand forever in the Lord's amazing grace.

Goodbye, world. Try not to remember me for my faults, but for my virtues. Mom and Dad, I'm sorry I never told you sooner about myself. Jazz, you were a much better sister than I ever gave you credit for. Tucker, you rock. Sam, I love you.

(A/N: I started to cry a little, near the end. Please Review.)

FINIS.