Disclaimer: Last time I checked, my name wasn't Stephenie Meyer.

Stupid

BPOV

"I don't know Alice…can't I just stay in the car?" I was really nervous, I didn't know if I could face Edward again.

"Bella, you promised remember?"Alice reminded me. "Now hold still and let me touch up your make-up before I stab you in the eye. We have to hurry and meet them out back in like, 10 minutes."

"Ugh!" I groaned.

Alice got done in record time fixing my hair and makeup in just 5 minutes, as well as her own, well, in another 5 minutes. So after just 10 minutes we were walking to a different limo. It was a white, um, big thing, I just know it was really nice inside. A little too nice.

When we got in the limo we were greeted by the boys, and a very stunning girl wrapped around Emmett's arm. I noticed her from VH1. She was in one of their specials about the hundred hottest people.

I suddenly felt self conscious. And even more so when Edward patted the space next to him for me to sit.

We said our 'hello's' and 'nice-to-meet-you's' to Rosalie. She seemed nice enough. She was very flirty with Emmett, they seemed very much in love, and I got kind of jealous. I would never had that. I couldn't. Love was meant to be forever. And forever is suppose to be a very long span of time, which I didn't have.

Eventually the atmosphere in the limo turned nice and light because everyone was joking and having fun, I learned that we were actually in a stretch Escalade limo. Good to know. It was very embarrassing when I called it a Hummer. But every now and then I would tense up when I realized who I was sitting next to. And my breathing would go uneven when he ruffled his already messy hair. He really did have nice hair though. Those magazines Alice reads didn't lie about that. Nice and bronze, and messy, yet it fell in all the right places.

--

We got to a nice fancy, Italian restaurant. This was definitely not just a 'midnight snack'.

I was even surprised it was still open.

I then realized… it wasn't.

It closed at 9, but they had some 'connections'.

I felt like we were breaking and entering.

We entered the restaurant, and took our seats.

I started to become apprehensive. The atmosphere in the restaurant was too romantic for my liking. We were the only ones there, and the lights were dimmed, and they lit some candles around a table with a slim vase with 3 roses in them.

Edward, Emmett, and Jasper, went in the back, the kitchen area I suppose, which left us three girls at the table.

"So," Rosalie started conversationally, "You guys like them, huh?" she asked as she pointed through the door the guys went through.

"Oh my goodness, Yes!" Alice answered excitedly. "Jasper is just how I imagined him. Sweet, funny, and I feel so calm and at ease with him! How long have you been with Emmett?"

"Yeah, I can almost touch the chemistry you and Jazz have. You have him wrapped around your finger, Good job!" she chuckled. "Oh me and Em? About 2 years, a little bit before they became mainstream, i helped them into the business." she said, with a sweet smile on her face at the mention of Emmett. "What about you Bella?"

She caught me off guard. "Uhh, what?"

"You seem pretty fond of my little Eddy-kins over there, am I right?"

When she saidher Edward, well actually Eddy-kins (gaag), I felt a little spark, of jealousy? It couldn't be. But I felt a spark of something, and it made me uncomfortable to think about why that had that effect on me. I didn't really know how to answer her, because I didn't know the answer myself. I know what my answer should be, what I wanted it, no not want, what I needed it to be. And then I knew the truth, and I wasn't much of a liar.

"I'm not so sure," That was truth enough wasn't it?

"Well I am, you too were totally ogling at each other in the limo!"

"No we weren't, were we?" I could've sworn we didn't look at each other, I know I looked at him, but I knew he didn't see me, because I was sure I was breathing the whole trip here, not breathing well, but breathing.

"Oh sure! You too weren't looking at the same time, but you were both looking, weren't they Alice?" Alice nodded an eager nod in agreement. " even Emmett noticed, and something has to big, bold and bright, or totally obvious for someone like Emmett to notice." she finished.

I was speechless, this was extremely embarrassing, I could feel my cheeks getting redder by the second. It was worse for me knowing what I was feeling, but others? Ugh!

"But you too were totally cute!" Rosalie reassured me. "Edward doesn't look at anyone like that, not even me, and that means a lot."

I was surprised by this. And that did mean a lot. Maybe too much. He couldn't possibly feel the same things I do when I'm around him. No way. That's absurd.

"I don't know…I don't think-" I started, but was cut off when the guys came out with plates of food.

Each guy had two plates. Emmett had one for himself, and one for Rosalie. Jasper had one for Alice, and himself. And of course, Edward had one for me and one for himself, as well.

They each placed the plates down in front of each of us, then sat down themselves.

Each couple was huddled up together, talking, and in Emmett, and Rosalie's case, kissing, which left Edward and I just picking at our food, which might i add, was delicious. Who knew they were great chefs?

"So Bella, did you enjoy the concert?" Edward asked trying to strike up a conversation, I suppose.

"Yeah, it was really great, you guys were really great." I said to him, flashing him a quick smile then looking back at my food, afraid I might get lost in his eyes again.

"Thanks, well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." he replied.

And me being stupid, and speechless just said an "Mhmm" as I blushed.

He then chuckled.

I looked at him with confusion. "What?" I asked.

"You blush a lot don't you?" he responded.

"So you've noticed," I mumbled just loud enough for him to here, then turned my face more away from him.

He chuckled again. "Yes, I did, its nothing to be embarrassed about, I find it rather cute, actually."

This brought a really big smile to my face, and more blood rushed up to my cheeks.

"Umm, thank you." I responded, but it sounded more like a question, I never knew how to respond to compliments, and definitely not from a guy that would give even Adonis himself a run for his money.

He could have been just saying this because he felt bad for me, anyway. That's what most people did. But I had a feeling that they weren't like most people. None of them. I suppose Jasper was too distracted by Alice, and Emmett too distracted by Rosalie, and my 'funny' antics, to remember my condition. But I still had a tiny feeling that even if they weren't distracted they would treat me as if I was, in a sense, 'normal'.

Edward, he didn't have an excuse, and yet I didn't see pity in those dazzling green eyes of his, and I would know. One: because I can sense pity a mile a way, it's a new skill I got from getting cancer, and two: because every time I saw him, I saw his eyes, and they were only filled with sparkling wonder, I sometimes felt like they were mirroring my own.

But enough of Edward, I need to get him out of my head. Even if I did like him. Okay, so I admit it, I do like him, but I've only known him for about 3 hours. Plus, even if he liked me back, it would never work out, so enough of this silly little crushing, he was in a band for goodness sake's.

What's wrong with you Bella? Even if you had a type, this definitely could not be it. Although, charming, and very gentlemanly, could make up for how mainstream he is…No stop it!

"Umm, Bella?" Edward asked, thankfully interrupting my inner struggle. If that went on any further I would end up right back in the hospitol.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna go for a walk?" he asked. He got worried when I didn't answer. "It's just that they" he gestured toward the two pairs "don't seem like much company, and its starting to get a little awkward, and a little sickening at their little love fests and-"

"Sure" I said as I cut him off. It was enough for me being the only one self conscious and nervous, but Edward too? I couldn't take that. He needs to be comfortable, laughing and happy. I was suppose to be the only worried one. And this was Edward Masen, when was he ever self conscious?

"Okay, let's go." he said a bit eagerly.

We got up from our chairs and started walking toward the door. I saw Alice wink at me, hearing our whole converstion, and she went to fill Jasper in before he could stop us and ask where we were going. I don't know why Alice is so hyped up about us taking a walk. She should know as much as me that this can't go anywhere.

When we got out of the restaurant into the frigid air, I felt a shiver run down my spine. Edward must of noticed too, because he shrugged off his jacket and put it over my arms.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that" I said, a bit embarrassed. "You must be cold too."

"No," he said as he shook his head. "After spending a few weeks in Alaska, this cold is kinda relaxing."

"You were in Alaska?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, why the shock?"

"Oh, well I guess it's nothing, huh? It still is America. It's just that I've never been anywhere but Washington, I've always wanted to experience other places." I replied. I don't know why I told him that.

I could of answered with a 'Oh, nothing' but while I spoke to him I looked at him, and he looked, interested. Not just listening because he thought he had to, to not hurt my feelings. But he looked truly interested, like he cared.

"You would love touring then. We get to go to a new place every 2 weeks."

"Oh." was all I could respond with. I stopped looking at him and stared straight, my hands in the pocket of his sweater.

I was a bit disappointed. I can't believe I still hoped. How could I be so stupid? Of course we couldn't be able to work it out! He was a musician, he toured the world. In two weeks he'd be in another state, another city, with another girl probably! Stupid Bella!

"What's wrong?" he asked in a soft voice.

I didn't notice that my eyes were watering up, due to the anger I had at myself.

"Its nothing," I replied, as I tried to look away and wipe my eyes.

As I wiped my eyes I realized how stupid my gesture was. This was his jacket, and I just got my salt water on it!

"Oh my goodness! I am soo sorry!"

"For what?" he looked truly confused.

"I just got my tears on your perfectly good jacket, I am so sorry!" I said, embarrassed. My cheeks were burning, I could feel them, I'm sure he probably could too.

"Bella, Bella," he said softly.

I didn't even realize I was crying now. It was just that I never felt this way before. I realized how true and real love was. And I never realized how much I wanted it. And at that moment I did.

I saw Emmett, and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, happy together, similing, and kissing, and being content with just each other.

I never realized how much I wanted that. Not until now. Not until I was alone with Edward. He was nice to me, and so easy to be with. And the sparks I felt from the slightest touches made me even crazier for him.

Then the disappointment that he would be leaving soon, crashed down on me, and the fact that, even if he is the one I was meant to be with, we would never work out. Not only because of long distance relationships, but because I would be gone from this world soon.

It was too many emotions, I couldn't deal with them all. So they all tried to leave my body through my eyes, I felt them roll down my cheeks, making their way to my neck. But they never got that far. I felt two cold hands cup either sides of my face and wipe the sadness, and disappointment away.

It soothed me a bit.

"Bella, please look at me." Edward softly commanded.

I opened my eyes to my best ability, but he was a blur from the waves of emotions still wafting through, and out of me.

What he did next surprised me, but I felt suddenly relaxed.

He held me close to him, running his hands through my hair, and rubbing my back. He somehow got us down on a bench, and we just sat there. Him holding me, and me ruining his shirt.

He's given so much to me in the few hours I spent with him. He's shown me kindness, and is caring towards me. He listened to me when I spoke, and dazzled me any chance he got, though he doesn't know it…I think.

I realized, if I gave him the chance I could love him.

I could actually fall in love with someone.

It was so fast, the connection that occurred between him and I. But I couldn't deny it anymore. My walls were tumbling down, and I could feel how much I could love him, if I let myself.

But I couldn't let myself. No, never.

My tears were finally beginning to subside. And my sniffles were dying down.

Edward shifted us a bit so I would look him in the face. I couldn't look at his eyes just yet, afraid they would hold pity, so I just stared at his hair behind his ear.

"Bella, could you look at me please?"

Reluctantly I pulled my gaze from his hair up to his nose, to its bridge, then met his eyes.

What I saw surprised me. They were filled with nothing but concern. No pity. He held the eyes of a concerned person who cared.

"Care to explain?" he asked, a bit jokingly to lighten the atmosphere, which I was thankful for.

"I…" I trailed off not sure how to explain myself. I couldn't think of a lie, and I had a feeling even if I did, he would see through it.

"Yes?" he asked getting a bit impatient.

I sighed.

"Its just that…I guess I just had this build up of emotions, and they all decided to come out at the same time." I said. It was the truth, it just wasn't the whole truth.

"But there was something to trigger them all to come out, wasn't there?"

Hmph. Stupid, observant guy.

"Edward," I sighed giving up on holding back completely, might as well get this all out now. "You know I have cancer, right?"

"Oh, well, uh, yes." My question must've caught him off guard. That was pretty cute. I had to chuckle.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked.

"You stammered, that was pretty funny. You never seemed to be a guy that would get caught off guard."

"Well I'm usually not, but you Bella, are one surprising girl." he replied.

"Yeah, well, your not Mr. Ordinary yourself." I said to him, glad to keep a light topic.

"Oh Really, How so?"

"Well," I started "I expected you to be a stuck up rockstar, that had multiple girls in his room at all times."

When I finished he let out a loud roar of a laugh.

"Like I haven't heard that one before!" he said as happy tears welled up in his eyes.

"What a myth! I'm no rapper, haven't you noticed!" (A.N. nothing against rap, hiphop is my favorite music genre, but come on, like the 'rap' today! Eckk! please show me a video without a half-naked girl, and I'll show you a good rap artist)

After what he said, I had to join in on his laughter. A few minutes past, and we finally got back to our normal breathing rates after we had a chorus of 'can't breathes', 'haha, I have to pee's' and 'owe, my stomach hurtss'.

We had a moment of silence after a few giggles here and there.

Edward, eager to get back to the subject, interrupted the silence.

"Yes, I do know you have cancer, what about it?"

"Did you know I was terminally ill with it?"

Shock covered his face. "By terminal, you mean…"

"Yes," I answered for him. "They believe the most I have to live is 6 months." I didn't let him cut in, because I didn't want sympathy, especially from him. I wanted him to listen, I've never wanted anyone to listen more, before. "So I started bawling like a baby back there because it just all caught up with me at once. The concert was so much fun, then hanging out with you guys was too. And well, I… I guess I'm scared." As I said this, I realized how true my words were. I never knew I was scared before. Maybe I wasn't scared before. But in that moment I was scared. I didn't want to lose these people, or Charlie, or Renee. I wanted to cry again, but I held back, I wanted to finish talking. "I wasn't scared before though. Its just, when you find something good in your life, you want it there forever. But its different when you know your forever is a such short amount of time.I don't want this to end."

I was hoping he would mistake this, for the whole night instead of the truth. The truth that this referred to this moment. With him. And when I was in his arms. And when we were laughing.

I wasn't that slick though. He knew what I was referring to. He made it obvious he knew to, because when I was done with talking I looked straight at him.

I saw his eyes and I felt calm, and at peace there. It overcame the emotions I had before, so they didn't slip out.

But that wasn't how he made it obvious, no not at all. The deep concern and caring in his face wasn't what gave it away either. No, it was when he moved his arms from my shoulders to my collarbone, then up my neck. When he slowly leaned his head in my direction and turned it slightly to the side, and waited seeing if how he would be received, being the gentleman that he is.

I let him know he had the correct assumption of my 'this' by following his movements. And he continued toward me until his lips met mine, and the fireworks went off in my head until I couldn't hear anything, but felt everything. His lips moving in sync with mine, and his hands moving from my neck up to the bottom of my chin.

My arms wound around his neck and up to his hair- that I've been wanting to touch since I first had sight of him. And his hair did not disappoint, it was soft and luscious, but not as much as his lips were.

We pulled away, to catch our breathe. Then looked at each other. Then I felt it, the need to cry again. Tears were already making there way down my cheeks. I couldn't do this, I can't! This shouldn't of happened!

So I ran away, I just ran, I didn't know where I was going. I just knew I was running, and crying, and tripping a few times. I heard Edward calling after me, but I couldn't go back to him.

I saw a hint of love in his eyes when we pulled away. I'm sure mine looked about the same… I can't be doing this to him.

Edward deserved more than this, more than me.

But maybe I was wrong? I'm sure he's kissed a ton of girls before, I'm not special. Of course not, just stupid…How could I be so stupid?

Stupid back there, and stupid right here.

How did I get here? I was in a dark part of town, I was running for about 10 minutes lost in thought. And now I didn't know where I was. These stupid skinny jeans were too …skinny, I couldn't fit my wallet, or a phone in it. What was I suppose to do now?

I just continued walking, and sulking when I noticed a few lights.

I walked down a block and made a left toward the lights. It was an open sign, to what looked like a bar. It didn't look like a dirty bar, but still, it was a bar all the same. With drunks, freaks mingling together as one. I didn't want to go in there, but I was desperate. I needed a phone.

I walked in and was instantly greeted with the smell of beer and smoke.

As fast as I could I made my way over to the bar to see if they had a phone I could use.

As I was waiting on a stool I heard someone call my name from behind.

I turned around and saw a familiar face. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or not, but I was certainly confused.

"Well hello there…Bella was it?"

"Uhmm… Hi?" I answered.

"Oh that's right. I wasn't able to introduce myself last time we met. I'm Mike, The Eje's manager."

"Oh," was all I managed to say, then I turned back around towards the bar waiting for someone to come over so I could ask for a phone.

Mike got the wrong idea.

"Hey Kira!" he called over to a bartender. "Bring a couple of shots over here!"

"So Bella," he turned back to me, "Get bored with Edward and the gang? I could show you a good time" he winked.

"No thank you," I turned to him and replied very rudely, I didn't want anything to do with this guy. When I turned back around 6 shot glasses were in front of me and that Kira girl was walking away. I called out a "Hey wait" but she kept walking to go help out another customer. "Great!" I mumbled to myself sarcastically.

"Did you need something from her Bells?"

"Ugh, its nothing, and don't call me that." I shot at him he didn't know me, so he had no right calling me that.

"Come on you can tell me! We're friends right?" Doubt it!

But I was in desperate need for a phone so I decided to tell him.

"Okay look, I need a phone, do you have one?"

"Ah, I see. No I don't have a phone but Kira over there. She only let's paying customer's use her bathroom, or phone."

"Perfect, I have no money either!" I said sarcastically.

"Well here," Mike said "Take some shots with me, and Kira will get the impression your with me so she'll let her use her phone. Me and her go way back, and a friend of mine is a friend of hers. So come on."

He said as he handed me a glass.

I hated how desperate I was, if I wasn't I definitely wouldn't be considering this right now.

"What is this?"

"Its just moonshine, suck those limes, after a shot if you need it, okay?"

"Wait, if you two are so close, can't you just ask her for me?"

"Nope! She's complicated now come on."

"Fine." I agreed, I just wanted to get this over with so I could use a phone. Hopefully I wasn't a cheap drunk. I guess I was about to find out.

"Cheers" Mike said, then gulped his down.

I tipped my glass to his then did the same with mine. The taste was horrible. I thought I just gulped down rubbing alcohol or something. It hit me right at my chest. Eck! I sucked on the lime until it was dry.

"Ready for the next one?" I think that's what he said at least. I was already buzzed. That moonshine stuff was no joke.

"No" I tried to say. "isn't one…" I trailed off trying to find my words in my jumbled head… I was definitely a cheap drunk, 99 cent store cheap. "enough?"

"No way! Here" he said as he handed me another shot glass.

"Uh uh!" I tried to argue.

"You want to use the phone don't you?"

I said a "Hmph." then said 'Fine! Gimme!" like a little kid.

I forget how many shots I took after that, but Mike kept reassuring me it was only two, I doubt it. Then he kept saying "Just one more you want that phone all don't you?"

Somehow after one more shot I found myself flying on a hard rock? I was in the air… I knew that. Then I landed on something hard. Everything was dark, well my eyes were closed, but I'm petty sure it was dark outside too. For some reason I had random the Eje songs flowing through my mind and I started singing them out loud for all the world to hear. I felt something fling across my face , a hand? ,to silence me.

Then I felt light. The weight of Edward's jacket was no longer on me.. Neither was the tightness of the heels Alice put me in. The vest was loosening its hold and coming off. The skinny jeans were finally letting me breathe and were sliding down my legs. The breeze was comforting in that hot place I was in. Then my shirt was being pulled off, and the breeze flowed across my stomach and on the tops of my breasts. I didn't want the breeze there.

I opened my eyes, and after I was able to get through the blurry vision I saw blonde hair . The hair tilted up, and I saw the eyes of a crazed man. Lust covering every inch of his irises. I realized what was happening, and let out a piercing scream. It was blood curling even to my own ears.

Something was covering my mouth then while I tried to push against it.

I could feel myself getting weak and losing energy.

I passed out soon after from lack of energy, plus shock, plus being drunk.

The last thing I remember was hearing "Shit, they heard you!" and being whisked away.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Author's Note: Yay, another chapter! The next one is almost half-way done, but i know where its going, so it should be done by today, will i post it today? i'm not suree, i might want to make you guys wait.. haha, evil? maybee. :D Im not positive I could get it done today though. I'm reading Breaking Dawn, and its making me lose some of my focus, haha! But then! i might get it done today because if i'm not writing im gonna be reading, but i dont want to finish BD too quickly, Im gonna miss E & B haha, confusing much? Anyway! now this is my longest chap yet! woohoo. Reviews are always nicee, and speed up the posting of new updates. :D

Thanks!