A.n.: You should check out page one. ; D
Disclaimer: Not mine…nada.
Perspectives
BPOV
I ran into a dark room, I was practically blind behind my tears.What have I done?
I was the worst type of person ever. Mike looks like a saint next to me. I was a heartbreaker…How could I do that?
How could I let someone spill their heart out to me then tell them I don't want it?
But I had to, right? I had no other choice! If tables were turned, and the fates on my side, I would've said yes in a heartbeat. Shoot! I would've said yes in half a heartbeat! This was Edward Masen for goodness sake's! But, that's not the case.
So here I am, on a floor, of a pitch black room, sulking in the shadows with tears streaming down my face. I was choking on my tears, trying to hold them down, with loud gasps escaping through.
I heard knocking on the door through one of my remissions. A gasp escaped again, no doubt someone knew I was in here, if they were ever doubting before.
"Bella? Is that you? You alright in there?" A husky voice asked from the other side of the door, not that I could actually place where the door was.
I didn't answer, knowing it would come out cracked, with another embarrassing gasp escaping through as well.
"I'm gonna come in, okay?" he asked hesitantly.
The door creaked open, exposing a tall figure, then closed shut again, leaving me in the darkness once again.
"Do you want me to turn the light on?" Jacob asked as he sat down on the space next to me.
I shook my head. Then, realizing how stupid the gesture was in the dark, I squeaked out a 'No'. The dark was peaceful. Darkness was easier to face than the truth, than reality.
"Do you want to talk about?" he said after a few minutes.
I finally began breathing normally again, and my tears were finally dying down. But if I ever had to think about love anytime soon, I'm sure I would just break down all over again.
"No. Never again." I told him truthfully, I couldn't handle it.
My eyes were finally adjusting to the darkness since I pulled my head from under my arms. I saw him nod.
"I understand."
He understands? Just like that? No 20 questions forcing me to spill? People are way too nice to me over here. Too nice for their own good. Makes me feel even guiltier! He's here trying to comfort me when I'm in pieces, and I can't even give him an explanation.
"It's a long story."
"Well if you're willing to tell the tale, I'm willing to listen." he responded. That made me smile. The way that he said 'listen' instead of 'hear'.
I was sure that if Jacob and I weren't hours away from each other, we'd be really good friends.
I nodded. "Why don't I just give you the gist of my whole situation?"
Then he nodded.
"My story's like every story you've heard before, except with a few twists." I told him.
"Care to explain?"
"Well for one, it happened in such a short amount of time."
"What happened?"
"Oh, well my story basically, is Girl meets boy, boy loves girl, and boy tells girl he loves her, and girl runs away, both boy and girl get hurt. The end." I had to tell it that way, anything else would've started me going all over again.
"That's not a very happy story."
"No, not at all" I agreed.
"And the twists?"
"Oh yes, those. Well let's see here : Boy, is a band member that tours all over the nation. Girl is a small town gal, who's father is the local sheriff. He's rich, she's not. He's beautiful, she's not. Oh, and the girl is sick with cancer and possibly can't live for more than 7 months."
"Wow." he said, I guess, for the last part of what I said.
"Yes. Wow." I repeated, amazed I was actually able to tell him all of that without a sniffle escaping.
"You forgot one major detail."
"And what's that?"
"They love each other. And isn't that what always makes for the happy ending? It seems your story is not quite done yet."
I ran the story back through my head. "I never told you the girl loved the guy."
"You didn't have to Bella. It's written all over your face, it's in your voice even when you're just saying the word 'boy', instead of his name. And it's the reason you ran away, isn't it?"
Tears were coming down again, thankfully, it wasn't going full throttle…yet. I nodded. "That obvious?"
He nodded too. "You didn't have to run away you know."
"Yeah, I did, I couldn't hurt him like that Jacob."
"Isn't that what you just did?"
I gasped in shock at his accusation.
"I mean, you could've told him, you know, that you loved him and all."
I shook my head. "I'm trying to save him. If we went any further with a relationship, he would've been feeling a lot worse."
"Maybe not."
"Yes he would!"
"Are you always so stubborn?"
"Yes." I answered simply.
"Well what if I gave you some proof?"
"Yeah, okay, and how would you do that?"
"My own little story." he responded.
"Does it have a happy ending?" I asked.
"Don't think so. But!" He saw me , I was going to cut him off saying I didn't really want to hear it, I couldn't take any more sad stories, when I had my own one brewing up. "It could help you make your own."
"You know Jake," I said to him, trying to keep the conversation light, for a moment at least, "I never took you for someone so deep."
"Well if you'd let me tell my story, maybe you could find out why," he said to me accusingly.
"Okayyyy." I said faking a whine. Then smiled. "Hit me."
"Well, to start off with, I know what its like to be on the receiving end of someone who loves me but was sick." I looked up at him incredulously. "I'm serious! My mom had leukemia. " he started softly. I looked at him with my mouth hanging open. Shocked.
"It tore my whole family apart. My mom left my dad, sisters, and I to spare us. She was so weak. But she was our rock. We relied on her so much, she was the last person I would ever think of as vulnerable. She took care of every single one of us, and she'd do it before ever considering herself." he inhaled a deep breathe and continued again.
"We loved her so much, and it hurt to think she left us. We kept asking dad why she did it. Leukemia was never an answer good enough for us. So what did it matter that she had it? So what if she was weak? We wouldn't think less of her. We would love her all the same. We would take care of her. But she never did come back. Weakness wasn't something she thought she should let her kids see, especially from her. She wouldn't let us hurt seeing her hurt. But what she didn't know was that she hurt us even more. By trying to protect us from heartache, she caused it again and again. She spent her last months away from us. She left us letters telling her how much she loved us and why she had to leave. But it hurt all the same. I wanted her to say it. I wanted to hear her tell me she loved me. I wanted to be by her side at bed everyday paying her back for all the shit I pulled, and every time I was sick in bed." He paused, he was near tears, and it broke my heart, I began rubbing circles in his back.
"Of course I forgive her for it. She only did it with us on her mind, in her heart. But still, I wished she would've let us in. Let us take care of her. Let us love her." Jacob inhaled, and exhaled deep breathes. I gave him a big hug, and said 'sorry' for his pain. I wish a simple word like that could heal it.
He smiled his thanks to me, then looked right into my eyes. Even in the darkness they were piercing. "Let Edward be there for you Bella. For yourself, and for him. I've never seen Edward look at anyone the way he looks at you. You don't have to break his heart."
I thought this over for a minute. Jacob's story really touched me. Could I put Edward through the same pain Jake's mom put them through? And if I didn't, would the pain in the end be worse?
Jacob could see my hesitation. "Think about it Bella. It would be worse for Edward. I knew my mom loved me, but Edward? He's clueless to your feelings. Are you going to be able to leave this world knowing someone you love will be left thinking you never cared for them? And you know in the end someone is going to tell them how you felt, how do you think he will fair then?"
"Jacob it's complicated."
"It doesn't have to be. What do you have to lose?"
"Nothing. But Edward-"
"No. We'll be here for Edward, if worse comes to worse. He has his friends and his family, but while he can, let him have you. If you want him to that is." he ended. teasingly.
"You guys are really close aren't you?"
"Like brothers."
I nodded. "Okay Jake, I'll consider it." I told him, and surprisingly, I meant it. I was so determined not to let this happen. To not give in. But this one boy, with this one story changed all that. His story put my mind on a different course of things. A new perspective, and I kind of liked it. Why not make things as good as they could possibly be, for right now? Leave the future for the future and the time travelers.
Suddenly I felt free. I could let something happen that I wanted to. I saw how happy I could be and things didn't fade to black.
I would let this happen. I would be happy. We both would be happy. But now I had to tell Edward how I felt. Would he listen?
--
Jacob and I left the dark room, and sat on the couch in the backstage lounge place. I still haven't built enough courage up to talk to Edward, but I would do it soon. I needed to.
Jacob and I agreed that I had to do it by Wednesday, that gave me 4 days, he'd be visiting La Push then and agreed to come visit me to see if I did it.
We stayed on light topics, and he kept cracking me up. He was such a fun person to be with.
He was telling me about cliff diving.
"You need to do it! Its like all the thrills of free falling, but then the refreshing splash of jumping into a pool."
"Then grinding against rocks right?"
"No! Its all about timing. Anyway! You dwell too much about the negative. Think about the fun stuff. Like being on the top of that cliff. Seeing the sea's horizon where teal fades into navy, then back up to periwinkle. The breeze covering you from head to toe. Then the launch! That's the best. When you get the air trying to keep you up, but you just keep going down, down, down. Your stomach drops, and gravity takes over. It scares the shit out of me every time, but its thrilling. I love it."
"Yeah, mhmm. I'll call you when I decide to turn suicidal," I told him. His description is nice and all, its just I'm not much of a girl for extreme sports. For all I know, a rock could sporadically pop up out of nowhere, and it would be angled to be at the exact point to where it hits my head when I dive, leaving me unconscious. I shuddered I could see it now.
As I was running my scenario through my head I heard a loud thump against a wall. I opened my eyes and saw Edward holding up Jacob against the wall by his collar.
--
EPOV
I couldn't take it.
I suddenly heard Bella giggling and utter the word 'suicidal' and I snapped. I threw Jacob against a wall and wanted to punch the living shit out of him.
"Stay away from her!" I shouted.
"The hell is your problem man? Ease up!"
What was I doing? Jacob's one of my best friends, but he was flirting with Bella! I turned around and saw her shocked expression. Bella.
That brought my anger back again. I faced Jacob again. "She won't fall for your silly tricks! She's not one of your playboy bunnies, alright? So lay off her!"
"Chill!" Jacob screamed at me.
"Edward what are you talking about?" I heard Bella's soft voice call from behind me. I faced her again, and let go of Jacob. Just the sight of her made me relax. Just a bit.
"Bella what did Jacob tell you? He's a creep don't listen to him. He's just trying to get in your pants, like with every other groupie we bring around." I told her. I won't let him get to her. Jacob was my friend, but I loved Bella, even if she didn't feel the same.
"Jacob wasn't telling me anything like that!" she said. Tricks. I thought in my head. "Actually he was helping me. I had a problem, and he fixed it." she finished.
Wow, didn't expect that. I turned back to Jacob with incredulous eyes. He nodded once. And I turned my direction back to Bella again.
"A problem? Like?"
"Like, about how I truly feel, and how stupid I am. He showed me how lying to you was probably one of the stupidest things I could do."
Lying to me? What? "Care to explain?" I asked her letting bewilderment cover my tone.
"I lied to you Edward. I lied to you, I ran away from you, and I hurt you. But that was all wrong. I'm giving up now. And I'm going to let the chips fall where they may. I'm done hurting you, while I can."
"I'm still not following you."
"Would you like the truth?" She asked me seriously.
"I'd love it." I told her.
"Well, I love you." she responded. Suddenly all the anger I felt had been lifted. The agony and despair moments earlier were gone, as if they were never there in the first place.
"Really?" I asked her, not sure if I heard her correctly.
"Absolutely." she told me with a stunning smile on her face, and that was all I needed to hear. Her lips were on mine in an instant. They were filled with as much eagerness as mine were, which surprised me, because usually she was hesitant, shy. Mm, but this was much more irresistible.
If only this moment could've lasted forever, but it's been said before: All great things must come to an end. If only love could be the exception.
But I was stupid to think that. I just wish the rain could've waited a lot longer for it to fall on our parade.
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A/N.: Another chapter down! Sorry, I know it's alot shorter than the usual. I EXCHANGED THE SUMMARY WITH A PREFACE. (Yeah i know I was stupid and wrote prologue the first time..I wasn't thinking.) So you guys should check that out. R&R please! Anyway, Feelings are out in the open now! Yay! Haha. Time for stuff to get fluffy!! I'm still hoping I can keep up with the at least one chapter a week thing, but school is such a major pain in the buttt! I'm starting to forget my own story! I had to re-read parts of it! :P
Please review, they spark the motivation, and I need a lot of that. I don't want to put it on hiatus, but writing is getting a bit harder for me right now with all this school work. Ah!
Oh! And did you hear about the leaked Midnight Sun draft? I feel so sorry for Stephenie Meyer. Hopefully she'll be able to get passed what this stupid person did and realize her fans love her (and her books) and finish writing Midnight Sun.
Fingers crossed!
On a more positive note… tomorrow there's no school! Happy Labor Day to everyone!
Thanks Extremely Much! Hope you enjoyed!!