Chronicles of God
Chronicles of God
Part 2
OK, all of you thought I was done writing this script. Well, turns out people actually enjoy reading it so… I MADE PART TWO! You sick, disgusting, perverted hermits without a life -.-! I hope you enjoy it at much as you did part One!
Scene I
God sits at his desk quietly and for once he looks busy. He looks a bit tired and hasn't gotten much sleep in the past week. His plan for Earth 2 is more complex then his first and the fact that he hasn't found himself a new secretary overwhelms him. God shrugs, pauses for a second, and keeps going on his planning.
God: Hmm… name, name, what can I name my earth two? (Starts tapping finger on his chin) It has to be complex, classy, elegant, and beautiful! (Looks up at the ceiling and smiles widely) I GOT IT! I shall name it… Penis-in-your-vagina-villa! (Smiles with glee, and suddenly looks puzzled) Or maybe Spleetopia, or maybe even Schwataloopconfizzleboopville, there's so many possibilities! (His left eyebrow raises) I need a secretary that'll help me, but who?
Randomly God's floor begins to rumble and suddenly Zeus's head pops out of the ground and so does Poseidon's.
Zeus: Did someone say secretary? (Zeus states in a perverted tone)
God: No, I haven't found one yet, wait who's that?
Zeus: (Stairs blankly at god) Who's, who? What? I'm confused, who are you? Why are you in my sex chamber?
God: (Looking puzzled for a moment) Umm… this is my office, and I'm god. And I asked who is that next to you?
Zeus: (Gives a look of sudden realization) Oh! Who's, who next to?
God: Who's next to you!
Zeus: ME!
God: YES YOU!
Zeus: SEX!
God: (Looks puzzled) His name is Sex?
Zeus: (Looking anxious and excited) WHERE'S SEX?
God: He's the guy next to you.
Zeus: Who me?
God: Oh my god, YES YOU! Wait I'm god, so, that means I "oh my" myself!
Zeus: (Looks at god as if he just noticed him) Hey, God have you met my new sex buddy Poseidon?
God: (Gains a look of confusion) I thought his name was sex?
Zeus: No that's her! (Points to a bald girl in the corner)
God: No that's Brittany Spears!
Brittany: I like puppies! I want a child! Spaghetti!
God: Wait Zeus, isn't Poseidon your brother? That's incest and slightly creepy. I'm getting a rash just thinking about it, I wanna name him Larry! (Smiles with happiness)
Zeus: Poseidon is my bumping buddy! You can't have fun without a hole! Can Poseidon and I have sex with Larry? You can join….
God: GIANT ORGY! Oh, wait suicide time (cuts off thumb, dies)
Poseidon: Let's do him while he sleeps. He, he, he!
Brittany: Shiny, happy, rainbow!
The room turns suddenly dark, and the orgy with the rash named Larry begins!
Scene 2
God wakes up, and picks himself up off the ground, he is dizzy and unaware of what just happened to him, or his rash Larry. It takes him about ten minutes to realize that he is naked and his rash has a hole through it. He decides that it must have been an accident from when he sumo wrestled with that mad eating duck. God quickly gets dressed, takes care of Larry and goes about his creation of world two.
God: Wow, what a crazy dream I had last night… (Looks up at the ceiling with a clueless look.) I had a dream that I got a rash named Larry, and Zeus and his friend raped you and me? (Gives a look of pleasure.) Only if it was reality!
Suddenly out of no where a Larry the rash grew a mouth and began to speak with a deep scraggly tone that was threatening yet somewhat cute.
Larry: I WILL TIE YOU UP, SCRATCH YOUR BELLY BUTTON, AND EAT YOUR INTESTINES WHILE YOU WATCH!
God: (gives a look of a happy little schoolgirl) YOU CAN TALK! And what an amazing combination of first words. And you're so innocent and cute! (Goes down to pet the rash and comes back up with his hand missing) Ooh… some bodies hungry! Here you can feed off of Santa Clauses fat!
Santa Clause comes bounding out of a closet door in a Elvis like fashion, looking old, rusty, and stoned all at the same time.
Santa Clause: HO! HO! HO! You're the HOE! AHH ho ho! Ho ho hodley do daddle ho!
Larry: FOOD! AHH… HAH HAH HAH!
Santa Clause: BRING IT ON YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MONKEY THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A MONKEY!
Zeus: (Pops out of the ground, with a look of satisfaction) Hey, group sex!
God: (brushes off his robe, and sits back at his desk) So, where was I, oh that's right creating the Earth 2. So… I think I need to assign a new secretary.
Brittany Spears: Stars, Burrito, Alabama!
God: (with a look of sudden realization) BRITTANY! Your intelligent, want to be my new secretary?
Brittany: Happiness, joy, yeast infection!
God: So it's settled, wow, I haven't been this happy since I created the word supercalifragulisticexbealadocious! And then burned Mary Poppins immediately after it!
Brittany: Butter, toast, and asshole!
God: Brittany you're a genius, I'm calling earth two Buttered Toast Asshole!
Brittany: Giggles give you power!
God: And so does umbrellas that eat tornadoes, or was it tomatoes that eat tornadoes?
Brittany: Tongue Twister! (Pulls out the game twister and starts to play with her tongue)
God: No what would make this more fun? To play actually in a twister!
The day ended with a rash eating Santa clause while Zeus is trying to hump them both, Brittany Spears as the new secretary, and God playing twister in a twister with his tongue. This day was a one step closer to a better Earth or should I say Buttered Toast Asshole?