Yeah... InuYasha, Kagome, and crew belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not the poor teenager who wrote this. She wishes she did. The poor teenager who wrote this owns the voice, though, so on balance she guesses she's happy.
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Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on the viewer, the arrival of Kouga startled Hojo while he had a firm grip on the bucket of water.
"Hey Kagome! It's good to-" Hojo recoiled in shock, sending a fountain of water cascading over Kouga.
Needless to say Kouga was not happy. Not happy at all. He glared fiercely at Hojo.
"Stupid human! What was that for?" Hojo's jaw dropped, and he could not stammer out a reply. This enraged Kouga further. "ANSWER ME!!" Hojo briefly looked to Sango and Miroku for support. Sango had started shuddering every time he looked at her, which made Miroku glare at him. Neither was going to help him. Finally, in desperation, he glanced at InuYasha, only to encounter a smirk. He was perfectly happy to let Hojo annoy someone else who could rip him to shreds. Although, he had to admit, he would like to do a little bit of damage to Kagome's boyfriend himself before letting anyone else at him...
But just think! The voice pointed out slyly If you let Kouga kill him, then Kagome can't blame you for anything. It would be entirely his fault, which would get rid of him too! InuYasha's smirk widened. He had not thought of that particular aspect, and it had not really been an option until just now, but it was perfect!
Just as InuYasha was reaching this happy conclusion, Kouga caught Kagome's scent. Which was partially covered by Hojo's.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WOMAN?" Kouga yelled, infuriated. Hojo then did the stupidest thing he could have done, probably because he was sick and tired of this stupid place where no one seemed to think he was good enough for Kagome, or anyone for that matter, and in which it seemed like half the male population seemed to think that Kagome was theirs, from the little fox brat to this new guy.
"I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO MY GIRLFRIEND!" He yelled back. Kouga's eyes narrowed to slits.
"What was that?" He said in a rather deadly tone. Hojo either did not understand the implications of Kouga's tone, or was extremely stupid in his next choice of words.
"I said" he snapped, "That I didn't do anything to my girlfriend. You know, Kagome? The girl I'm going out with?" Kouga growled
"First you dump water on me, then you refuse to answer me, and now you steal my woman? You're even worse than mutt-face over there!" InuYasha was not certain if that had been intended as a compliment towards himself, or an insult towards Hojo, although he was more than willing to bet on the latter. Then, Kouga finally caught sight of Kagome, lying on her mat in the center of the room, and his eyes flashed. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KAGOME?" Hojo once again showed his stupidity by yelling
"SHE'S NOT YOURS!" For once, InuYasha was keeping his mouth shut about that, thinking that it was an excellent idea to let Hojo do all the Kouga irritating for the afternoon.
That's an excellent idea, InuYasha! The voice agreed fervently, thinking that this might be the only way to keep InuYasha out of trouble. You could even make him madder by telling him what happened... and that Hojo wasn't there to protect her. InuYasha rather liked that idea, and he did so.
"Kagome went to find Shippo after battling some spider-demons. Some sort of blob demon had gotten a hold of him, no idea how, and she used too much of her spiritual energy getting Shippo away from him, and maintaining a barrier around the two of them while Miroku and Sango held the thing off until I got there." InuYasha supplied calmly, then glared at Hojo. "Meanwhile, this useless idiot stayed here, still in shock that Kagome actually has a temper and would protect her kit no matter what." Kouga was a little surprised at first at the half-demon's ready aide, then shook with fury that the mere human who called himself Kagome's boyfriend had not been there to protect her. He made his decision.
The human needed to die. As in now. Kouga growled.
"Well, human, you made a big mistake, coming after my woman, and then dumping water on me. You've made me look less honorable, and I will not let that stand." Sango's eyes widened, and Miroku winced slightly. Both understood exactly Kouga had planned. Neither was really too upset about it, as neither cared too much about Hojo. Miroku began running through a mental list of prayers for the dead, trying to find one for annoying, pathetic, irritating, lecherous cowards. Sango was wondering if she could watch. She would pay good money to watch Hojo try to fight a demon. It would be very amusing, she was certain. The only way it could be better was if Hojo had managed to annoy Sesshomaru.
Now that would be entertaining.
About that time, Kouga picked Hojo up by the front of his shirt, and drew his fist back to punch the living daylights out of him. InuYasha stopped him, earning himself a glare. InuYasha smirked, and replied to the look of fury directed to him.
"Keh. I don't care if you kill him, just don't do it in here. You'd wake up Kagome, and she needs to sleep." Kouga nodded brusquely, and dragged Hojo out the door. InuYasha stared after them for a few minutes. Then he glanced sideways at Sango and Miroku (who still had his arm around Sango), got to his feet and followed, muttering something about "making sure that wimpy
wolf did the job properly" Once he left, Sango could not help giggling slightly, anymore than Miroku could help grinning.
"Where's Inu...Yasha?" A sleepy voice asked from the floor. Kagome had awoken, and was now starting to sit up. Her dark brown eyes took in the scene around her, and then froze on Miroku and Sango, or, more specifically, Miroku's arm around Sango. As soon as they realized this, the two jerked apart as if the other was white hot iron. Sango immediately began babbling about Hojo staring at her and Miroku soon began adding what he hoped were clarifying comments.
No. No they're not. The voice informed him wryly. In fact, they're making things worse...
The look of baffled confusion on Kagome's face grew until the voice intervened.
Allow me to translate: Hojo started staring at Sango, and it made her really uncomfortable, not only because he's your boyfriend, but also because she likes Miroku. Miroku noticed, and when Sango started edging towards him, hoping that Hojo would get the message and keep his eyes to himself, Miroku put his arm around her. This would be because Sango is his woman, and he does not appreciate it when people fringe on his territory, or when people make her upset. They've been sitting like that for slightly over half an hour. Comprehension dawned on Kagome's face.
Ohhhhhh, ok. That I understand. Much less confusing than babbling. She turned to Miroku and Sango.
"So, Hojo was staring at you, Sango, which made everyone uncomfortable, so Miroku put his arm around you to send an unspoken message to keep his eyes to himself?" The two nodded fervently. "Alright. That makes sense. Now, the next time I see him, I'm going to have to explain to Hojo just what happens to boyfriends who can't keep their eyes to themselves." The smile that formed on her lips gave Sango the chills, purely because she was positive she had seen it before... on InuYasha's face, just before destroying someone who had irritated him. Sango did not think that this would be a good day for Hojo. Not a good day at all.
"Mommy!" Shippo had just woken up, and catapulted himself into Kagome's arms, then froze. He realized that he had never gotten Kagome's approval of that name. Kagome laughed, and snuggled him close.
"Yes, I'm up Shippo. Is there something wrong?" She asked when she noticed he was not moving. Shippo looked at her with really big, slightly frightened eyes.
"Is it ok if I call you Mommy?" He asked very quietly, hoping Kagome would not reject him. Instead she laughed.
"Of course it's alright if you call me Mommy! I'm happy that you want to!" She cuddled him closer, and Shippo smiled brightly and yelled.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!" At the top of his lungs, making Kagome laugh again. Then she stopped again, looking around the room.
"Where are InuYasha and Hojo?" Sango and Miroku glanced at each other, simultaneously hearing the voice point out something to them
You know, it would be very stupid to enlighten Kagome about the presence of Kouga, and Hojo's eminent destruction. It might make her do something she'd later regret... like letting Hojo get out of here alive, for example... Neither of them wanted that to happen.
"Ahhh, well, you see..." Miroku began slowly, searching for a good explanation, knowing that he probably wouldn't be able to find one. Kagome's eyes narrowed to slits.
"InuYasha's doing something stupid, probably involving doing something rather messy and extremely permanent to Hojo, isn't he?" She asked bluntly. Sango and Miroku looked at each other and shrugged, silently fuming along with the voice.
Why did she have to be so bloody perceptive, dang it? All three asked themselves. Miroku then decided to do some damage control for InuYasha.
"Well... I don't think InuYasha was planning on doing the extremely permanent part himself... Kouga was planning on doing that. InuYasha might actually be keeping Kouga from killing him..." so he could kill Hojo himself later. Miroku added silently. Kagome started muttering under her breath, and scooped up her bow and quiver from its place by the wall. Shippo leaped onto her shoulder, and asked in a very meek voice.
"Mommy... is InuYasha in trouble?"
"Either he's in trouble" Kagome informed him through clenched teeth "Or he's going to be." Shippo gulped, and clung to his mother's neck with grim determination as she ran out the door to find the various targets of her annoyance.
Excuse me. The voice rang in Miroku, Sango, and Shippo's heads, I've got to go do some damage control. Don't let her kill anyone. There was a slight pause before it added Except Hojo. It's ok if she kills Hojo. Or Kouga. In fact, killing either of them is encouraged.
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Finally, an opportunity to infect Miroku with the voice! YES!!
The line "Either he's in trouble, or he's going to be." is stolen from The Incredibles. I was thrilled to be able to use that line...