Kids These Days

Chapter 4: Not- So- Accurate- Plans?

CARLISLE'S POV

But it was not Emmett and Jasper who walked through the door. It was a poor, lonesome FedEx man.

"Rose, NO!"

Rose pounced on the FedEx man, who was now covered in superglue and feathers, knocking him to the ground. She glued the sign to his back. Wow, was this FedEx man tall!! She then chased him around the block numerous times, getting strange looks from passer bys.

Meanwhile, we were all screaming at her to stop. The door creaked open again, and in came yet another FedEx man. He looked around at all the mess, and Esme went downstairs. This FedEx man was carrying a package.

"Oh, why thank you for my package. You're the sweetest. Would you mind staying for a bit?"

The man agreed, and we ordered Rose to bring back the chicken man for questioning.

"Hands up. Mouths closed. You have the right to remain silent."

Edward was questioning the FedEx men.

"Why did one of you bring us a package, and the other not?"

"I didn't have a package to bring?" The response sounded more like a question.

"And, Mr. Chicken-"

"The name's Emasperett."

"Emasperett?"

"Yes, you got a problem with that?"

"Actually, Mr. Emasperett, I was just going to ask you why there is a zipper in the back of your neck."

"Emasperett" whispered and mumbled to himself.

"So, Emmett and Jasper, what do you have to say for yourself- wait- no- HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM!?"

At this point they had taken their costume off and were now feather and glue free. The other FedEx man left a while ago, with a look on his face that said, these people are absolutely insane.

"We heard you planning and figured, hey why not get a costume and maybe we won't have to get in trouble, or not be stuck washing glue out of vampire hair."

"That is just wonderful. Now we have to think of a new plan."

"No, no, no!"

Emmett and Jasper jumped up and down screaming in denial. Then they ran into the front room, took the remaining superglue and put it all over themselves like it was some sort of expensive lotion or something. Then they rolled in the feathers and stuck them all over themselves. Alice was filming the whole thing.

"I am so putting this on YouTube!"