Author's note: Sorry it took so long, I went away at the weekend and it seems to be social week in Lucyland. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you all keep me going! Thanks also to my very good friend who points out my stupid mistakes for me. Anyway, let me know if there's anything in particular you want to see happen in the fic, and I'll try to work it in. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy. Oh, and keep those reviews coming. love to you all xxx
Jack woke himself up from the nightmare. The memories of pain he could deal with, but when the screaming started it all became too much, and he had to wake himself. Unfortunately, the screaming didn't stop. He realised that it had in fact been said screaming which had woken him, and that it was coming from the small wriggling baby he was half squashing in his sleep. Gasping, he sat up, lifting Ianto with him.
"Oh, Yan! Are you ok? Did I hurt you? Did you have a nightmare? What's wrong?" Ianto continued to howl, so Jack hugged him close and rocked him, sliding out of bed and shimmying up the ladder one-handed. As he rocked the baby, the sobs slowly quietened. He glanced at the clock, it was 1am. Sighing, he continued to rock, and headed towards the kitchen, whispering reassuringly to the tiny child in his arms. "Hey, Yan, it's ok. I'm here. Calm down for me now yeah?" He turned on the milk-steamer on the coffee machine, and found another beaker in the pile of baby things. As the machine whirred into life, Ianto finally stopped crying and clung to Jack's neck, sniffling. "You ok?"
"Mhm." Ianto mumbled, rubbing his eyes with balled up fists. "Nitemawe." He added, by way of explanation, before burrowing back into Jack's neck. Jack smelt comforting and warm. Ianto told him so as best he could. Chuckling, Jack filled the beaker with steamed milk, and checked the temperature on the inside of his wrist. Deciding it was alright, he handed it to Ianto, who stuffed it into his mouth and drank hungrily, his eyes falling half closed.
Jack paused to look at what had become of his new plaything. His hair was a mess, his cheeks were red from crying, his eyelids fluttered downwards as his slurped at the drink. His cute little blue pyjamas were riding up, and his skin was warm beneath them. In all his many years of living, Captain Jack Harkness didn't think he'd ever seen anything so adorable. He lowered his head and planted a soft kiss on Ianto's forehead. The baby's eyes opened wide and he smiled and cooed around the beaker, which was still between his teeth.
"Let's get you back to bed eh? Tomorrow promises to be a loooong day." Jack grabbed himself a glass of water and headed back to his hole. Settling down again, he made sure Ianto was comfortable, and watched him fall asleep before allowing his own eyes to drift closed, and succumbing to a dream about how gorgeous his and Ianto's children would be.
Jack felt like he'd only just closed his eyes, but the insistent bleeping of his wrist-strap told him differently. It was 7am already. He didn't mind, since he hardly needed sleep anyway. Pushing the button on the side of the console, he rubbed his face and sat up, gathering the still sleeping Ianto up as he went. He climbed the ladder slowly and deposited the child on the chair, before going back down to his room to retrieve some clothes. The others would be arriving within a short while, so he decided he could leave Ianto sleeping on his chair and go take a quick shower.
Ianto stirred in his sleep, wiggling to get closer to the warmth of Jack's body. He couldn't find it. He blinked his eyes open slowly, looking about him. Jack was nowhere to be seen. He supposed that he would be back in a while, and closed his eyes, snuggling back down onto the soft leather cushion of Jack's chair. In his efforts to get comfortable, he forgot quite how close to the edge he was, and found himself falling. There was a yelp from somewhere near his head and a pair of warm hands caught him just in time. Gasping in shock, he looked up into Owen's face.
"Who the hell put you down there Teababy?" He scowled. "Well, stupid question, we only have one resident idiot. Oh, speak of the devil." He hoisted Ianto into his arms and gently held him, spinning to face Jack who had just entered the office wearing only a towel and a few droplets of water. "Do you seriously have no brains at all? It's a good job I walked in here when I did because Ianto was about to fall of that bloody chair and hit his head on the floor. It's a long way for a baby, Jack. He could have been seriously hurt!" He half shouted, clinging to Ianto protectively. Jack's eyes widened suddenly, and he looked distraught.
"Oh, God. Yan, are you ok? I'm so sorry, I didn't think. God I'm so stupid." He reached out for the baby, but Owen shook his head and stepped backwards.
"Oh no you don't. Go and put some bloody clothes on. I'll look after him 'til then." He stalked out of the office, taking the baby with him, and Jack heard a soft, 'S'ok Jack,' over his shoulder. He shook himself and went to get dressed.
Owen carried Ianto into the kitchenette and began the process of making a coffee, under the child's instructions. Ianto wondered why Owen was being so nice. Had his prank not worked? He looked over at Owen's desk and saw the satchel exactly where it had been last night. So Owen hadn't taken it home. Perhaps he would tonight then. Either way, Ianto was sure he'd know when his plan had worked. Once the coffee was finished, he allowed Owen to change his nappy, scrub him clean with a soft flannel, and dress him in a cute miniature jeans and T-shirt combo. As Jack emerged from his office looking sheepish, with his hair still damp, Ianto remembered he was hungry. He stretched his arms out for Jack to pick him up, and the man did so, looking relieved as he hugged Ianto softly.
"Jack. Hungwy." He stated into Jack's shoulder, and was immediately passed a breadstick from Owen. He started to chew it vigorously.
"Eat that whilst I make you something proper for breakfast." The doctor announced. "Seriously, you need proper nutrition, not spicy meat feast pizza and bananas." Grumbling to himself in a manner that Ianto thought was quite sweet, Owen set about making this nutritious breakfast. It turned out to be pretty good. Five minutes later, Ianto found himself perched on Jack's knee at the boardroom table, feeding himself yoghurt, strawberries, banana and kiwi like a big boy, and washing it down with orange juice from the beaker he had now become quite attached to. He thought he was doing well, since none of it had gone down his front, until Gwen walked in and stopped dead before exclaiming,
"Oh you're just so cute!" In a voice so high pitched it hurt Ianto's ears. Rushing over to him, she took out a wipe and set about cleaning his face. He couldn't recall missing his mouth at all, but when Gwen had to use two wipes to get him clean, he realised he must have made quite a mess. Once he was clean, she scooped him up and spun him round, making him giggle and blush, before resting him on her hip and bouncing her way to the kitchenette to get him a rusk. Taking the rusk, he decided that the embarrassment of being treated like a baby wasn't so bad if he got sugary treats every time he looked at Gwen. As he was chewing on the rusk, Tosh walked in. Her eyes lit up when she saw him and she scurried over, taking him from Gwen gently.
"Morning, Ianto." She smiled as she hugged him. "Did you sleep well? How are you feeling today? Any changes?" Ianto grinned. At that moment, Tosh was exactly what he needed. She didn't fuss or mollycoddle him, and she spoke to him in the level, even tones ones used when speaking to an adult. On top of that, she wasn't concerned about his cute booties or the way his hair was fluffy and sticking up at the back, she just wanted to help him get his body back.
"Still same. Slept good but no difwense." She smiled anyway, and set him down on the floor to toddle around. Looking down at him, she sighed.
"We'll keep looking, Ianto, there has to be some way to reverse the effects of the artefact. There just has to be." Leaving him to plod over to Jack's leg by the coffee machine, Tosh settled quickly at her desk, and with one glance and a soft smile at Owen, she began her work again. It was barely 8am, and the whole team were at the hub. This, Ianto thought, was a first. They didn't normally arrive until 10, and Owen had been the first in, which was even more worrying, since he was early if he arrived before 11 most days. He slid his arms round Jack's calf and hugged onto his leg, watching the others doing jobs he would usually take care of. Gwen was preparing to feed Janet, and Owen was making his way up towards Myfanwy's nest with a bucket of raw meat and a bottle of barbeque sauce. Jack smiled down at him as he looked up.
"Whatcha up to trouble?" He grinned. Ianto grinned back. "Taking over the world from down there?"
"Mhm." Ianto countered. "Evrywon will do wot I say. I rool the yooniverse." Jack giggled and picked up the child at his feet.
"Well then, your majesty, what would you like me to do now?"
"You have a confwence call wiv the Pwime Minster in firty minits." Ianto said in his best authoritative tone, which was actually quite cute, "Then you need to send those weports to yunit, the wones abowt the jiyunt lizzurd. And aftur that you can have some mowe coffee." Jack giggled again and offered him a salute.
"Sir, yes sir!" He took his mug from the side and carried Ianto over to Tosh's desk, where he set him down next to a keyboard and watched him open Solitaire. Chuckling, he went to make himself look irresistible for his call with the Prime Minister. She always did what he wanted when his hair was just so, and he did that gorgeous pouty thing he had perfected over the years. He checked himself out in the mirror, decided that if he looked much longer he might pounce himself, and went to sort out the paperwork he needed to cite at her to stop her from meddling in Torchwood affairs. Ianto watched all this through the glass of the office walls and giggled to himself, before moving a red queen onto a black king, and putting up an ace.
Time passed quickly, and although he barely spoke a word, when Ianto next looked at the clock, it was 11:04. He'd been a baby for nearly twenty four hours. Still, no breakthrough had been made. All of a sudden, Tosh yelled that triumphant yell she had for when she'd just done something particularly amazing.
"Jack! I've translated the writing on the back of the device!" She exclaimed. Immediately the desk was surrounded. Even Owen stopped looking at porn and raced over. Ianto hadn't recalled any writing on the device, but sure enough, there it was upturned with a small inscription on it. "Oh..." Tosh's face fell, and she turned to look at Jack with an 'I'm sorry' face. "It says 'property of Doug, do not touch'." Everyone sighed collectively. All that excitement, all that work, for nothing. Ianto found himself looking at the clock again, it was 11:11. As he watched the face change to show 11:12, he found himself dizzy again. Things went fuzzy like before, and he felt the pain and heard the ringing in his ears again. He gasped and braced himself against the pain, then waited for the black out. Maybe he was changing back? That was his last thought before he crumpled onto the desk, to the shock of all the others.
"Don't let him move! I'll go get the scanner!" He heard Owen yell and then feet pounding off towards the med bay. He didn't feel much bigger, but he must have grown a bit because the jeans and T-shirt he had been wearing were now extremely tight. He blinked his eyes open and looked down at himself. He was still a child, although more like a toddler now. He looked up at Jack, Tosh and Gwen, who were gaping at him in curiosity.
"Don't move pet, are you alright?" Gwen asked, stooping closer to him. He nodded and remained perfectly still until Owen arrived back with another hand-held scanner and began to flash it over him.
"Ok... Exactly 2 years and one minute old. Looks like Teababy just aged a year..." He frowned, clearly perplexed by this new puzzle. "No changes in DNA again, just an age shift. Wonder what's going on?" Everyone looked supremely bemused, so Ianto thought he'd best point out the obvious, finding that his vocal cords worked a little better now.
"Well, I tuched the artefakt abowt this time yesturday. Maybe it does this evwy day?" He blinked up at everyone then sat up. "Can I get out of these clowves now? They're a bit tiyt." He plucked at the T-shirt, and Jack leaned down and scooped him up, releasing him from the Jeans too and taking him over to the sofa to see if there was anything that would fit him. He found a pair of loose pyjamas which would do for now.
"Gwen, can you go find something to fit him for today, and something that would fit a 3 year old, just in case this happens again tomorrow? I reckon you might be on to something, Yan. Did it feel the same today as it did yesterday?" Ianto nodded.
"Sorry to interrupt, Jack," Tosh butted in, "But I've been monitoring energy levels from the device. There was a huge spark of energy at exactly 11:12, when Ianto changed. Looks like it's definitely the device doing it. Maybe I can access the settings. If it can age him as well as making him young, I might be able to manipulate it to bring him back to his real age."
"Worth a try. Don't do anything stupid though." Jack smiled at his tech expert; she really was an amazing find. He turned to Owen and handed Ianto over. "Just check him again, make sure everything is alright and there's nothing untoward going on inside him." With that, he sauntered back to his office to finish sorting the Unit reports, and watched Gwen leave to find Ianto some proper clothes.
Ianto sat patiently through another round of tests and examinations. He even behaved himself when Owen stuck a needle in him, only complaining due to the quip about a lollypop if he was a good boy. Finally, Owen flashed lights in his eyes and peered into them before drawing back and hmming in a satisfied manner.
"Well, you're normal. Or at least as normal as you can be. Whose desk do you want me to plonk you on today then?" Ianto looked up at Jack's office. He was hard at work, and didn't look like he needed disturbing. He glanced at Tosh. She was beavering away as usual. He'd be bored over there. As he was weighing up the pros and cons of boredom versus Owen, Gwen bounded in with a Mothercare bag in her hand and a serene smile on her face. He grinned.
"I'll go with Gwen. She's a bit mowe sayn." Owen nodded and practically threw him into Gwen's arms. She caught him deftly and gasped.
"You're getting heavy!" She managed, manoeuvring him so that he rested on her hip.
"I can pwobabwy walk." He pointed out, and she placed him down gently, relief on her face. He followed her over to the r&r area and she produced some bigger jeans and a cute red T-shirt with 'TROUBLE' on the chest. He grinned and put them on with her help, feeling much better in clothes that fit him. She passed him his beaker and together they headed off to her desk. Gwen was working following up a lead on several sightings of strange light patterns over the Splott area, so Ianto busied himself with a pack of picture cards, answering the occasional question or giving a solution to the occasional problem.
Just as Ianto was settling into a rhythm, the rift alarm went berserk. Jack appeared at the door of his office, and Tosh pulled something up on another screen and whizzed through a few scans. She finally scanned some CCTV footage and brought up an image of what appeared to be a bundle of lights in the middle of an abandoned warehouse. They matched Gwen's sightings perfectly. She jumped up form her desk and rushed over to Tosh, eyes wide.
"Can you tell what it is from the scans?" She asked, peering at the screen intently. Jack sauntered over, and placed a hand on her bum. Ianto noted this and stored it away for later. Jack caught him looking and gave him a sheepish glance, mouthing 'what?' and moving his hand upwards, but only slightly. Gwen turned and glared at him pointedly, so he removed the hand and leaned on Tosh's desk chair instead. Tosh, oblivious to Jack's horniness, simply stared at her screens, tapped a few buttons and said,
"There are records of them in the archives, but no name. Says they need to be shown their reflection, then they melt into the mirror. Weird, but we'd best get down there and sort it out. Gwen, why don't you and Jack go and I'll direct you from here?" Gwen rolled her eyes.
"Can't I take Owen?" She whined. Jack smacked her bum lightly.
"Nope. Let's go. I'll drive." He grabbed the keys off Owen's desk, ruffled Ianto's hair and headed out. "We'll be back soon. Owen, Chinese for lunch, order it. And look after Ianto. If he's any less gorgeous when I get back, you're cleaning out Janet for a week." Ianto smirked and went back to playing. He was trying to make a card castle, but his little hands weren't co-ordinated enough. It kept falling over. He lost patience and wondered up to Jack's office to play on his laptop. Climbing the stairs was a mission, but thankfully the door had been left open. He struggled onto the chair, and standing on it, accessed Jack's internet, and began ordering things from online, smirking to himself as he entered Owen's credit card details for his... interesting... purchases, and addressed them to Jack. Once that was done, he managed to delete the records (third time lucky) and toddled back down to the main hub, where Tosh was getting hysterical and looking under desks, yelling.
"Ianto? IANTO? Where is he? Oh God, Owen, he could have been hurt. OHMYGOD Myfanwy could have eaten him!" He coughed to stop her and waved from the stairs. She rushed over and swept him up. "Ianto, where have you been? I was so worried. I thought... I thought. Don't walk off without telling me again. Ever!" She shook her finger at him in a way that was slightly comical but also a little menacing. He pulled his, 'oh I'm sorry' pout, which had added cuteness effect due to his new baby face, and she softened visibly. "Just, let me know next time you're going somewhere.
"Kay." He mumbled. "Owen, can you take me to the toylet? I need to pee." He glanced at the doctor, who sighed and rolled his eyes.
"If it means I don't have to change those nappies again, then YES." He got up, hauled Ianto into his arms and trudged towards the toilets. Toshiko sat where she'd been left, and stopped her hands from shaking. Her comm. bleeped, so she went back to her screen to direct Jack and Gwen to where the lights were floating serenely about the warehouse. She saw the two run into the scope of the camera, flashing a mirror at the lights, which absorbed themselves into the glass slowly. She continued to watch, and listened in through the earpieces as Jack slid his arm round Gwen's waist and whispered something just a little too filthy into her ear. Gwen pushed him away and told him he was disgusting. He shrugged and Tosh heard him say 'worth a try' over the comm. before the two disappeared out of shot, and all she could hear was their conversation. It seemed Jack was extremely horny today, and Gwen was having none of it. Although, when they stumbled into the hub 15 minutes later, she looked flushed and he looked pleased with himself. Nothing had happened, Tosh knew from the conversation, but Jack had obviously known he was flustering Gwen, who was completely infatuated with him. Tosh smirked, she was glad Jack had chosen Gwen as a target; she always reacted badly when he harassed her.
As the two arrived, the Chinese Owen had ordered showed up. Owen spent ten minutes in the kitchen fixing up something suitable for Ianto, by which time, the boy had eaten half a tub of chicken chow mein and was asleep in Jack's lap again. Owen sighed in exasperation and ate the avocado from Ianto's lunch himself. He glanced at his watch, 3pm. He had nothing to do, no evidence to test. It looked like he was going to be babysitter for the rest of the day. He went to the kitchen and got a beer for himself, and one for Tosh. Thinking about it, he could always try to get out of work early. Since he'd finished with Gwen, he'd been noticing Tosh more and more. Maybe he'd ask her out tonight, just for drinks. See where it went. Daydreaming about pool and proper beer, he settled at his desk and played on the internet a bit. Sure enough, within half an hour, Jack decided he had to do work, and delivered Ianto to his desk, with strict warnings not to let the baby drink the beer. He smirked, waited 'til Jack was out of sight, and offered Ianto the can. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.
"Tastes lyke piss. Not proper beer." Hearing the words 'tastes like piss' coming out of the mouth of a two year old proved to be one of the funniest things Owen had ever heard, and he descended into a fit of laughter that lasted well over 10 minutes. When he recovered, Ianto was missing. He sat up shocked, then decided it was best not to draw attention to himself until he'd found the irritating toddler. He used his computer to run a body heat scan of the building but found nothing on interest, unless you counted the fact that the camera angle of the heat receptors made it look like Jack was touching himself. Owen mused that perhaps he was, then brought up another screen to show the lower levels. Nothing. He tried upwards, and found a small human shaped red blob halfway up to Myfanwy's nest. Sighing, he closed the screen and headed up to intercept him. As he closed the other screens, he noticed that the Jack-shaped blob was now slumped in his chair. Suspicious? Owen certainly thought so. Ah well, he considered, at least someone was having a good time at work. He followed Ianto and caught him about three quarters of the way up to the nest.
"What are you doing Teababy?" He demanded.
"Gonna see Myfanwy. Nowon tikuled her under her chin... She lykes that." He stated simply, and continued toddling upwards. Owen picked him up and headed back down.
"Not a chance buster, she could swallow you whole now. I'll tickle her later." He put the baby on his desk, and looked up to see Jack watching him from his office with a quizzical look on his face. He shrugged. "You really have to stop walking off like that. Jack's gonna have my ass." Ianto snorted and giggled.
"Jack wudn't go near your ass. You're not pwetty nuff." He giggled some more. Owen realised the sexual innuendo and groaned.
"Funny, Teababy. Very funny." He plopped down into his chair, opened his desk and pulled out a Nintendo DS. "How bout you shut up and play this for a while? It's got Mario in it at the moment." Ianto grinned and took the console, switching it on and turning the annoying music up as loud as possible, he began bashing away at the buttons, in a surprisingly co-ordinated manner. Owen smiled at him, until the noise grew annoying, then he scowled. Ianto just looked at him, the picture of innocence and carried on playing.
Jack sat at his desk, playing furiously with his wristband underneath. He really wanted to get some more functions working, but try as he might, he couldn't. He glanced at Owen, who was looking at the heat signature monitors. That meant he'd lost Ianto. Jack sighed and slumped back in his chair. He'd find him. He looked again, and Owen was making his way towards Myfanwy's eyrie. He stood and went to the window, watching as Owen retrieved Ianto and made his was back downstairs. He gave Owen a look, and the younger man shrugged, before sitting down and handing Ianto, who was giggling like a girl, a games console. Jack withstood the noise for 30 minutes, before looking at the clock. It was four. There was no point in keeping Owen in, and the others' work could wait until tomorrow. He decided enough was enough, and went out into the main area.
"Right. Everyone, go home. Owen, take your Gameboy with you." He bellowed.
"It's not a Gameboy it's a..."
"I don't care, just leave and take it with you." Jack stood in the doorway and watched, pleased, as Owen asked Tosh out for drinks and she said yes. Gwen disappeared quickly to go see Rhys, and once Tosh and Owen had decided he'd pick her up at 7, they left too, she by the lift and he by via the tourist office. Jack padded over to Ianto and picked him up, cuddling him close. He sighed in irritation. His advances on Gwen earlier had failed, even though he knew she wanted him. He was getting seriously horny. He'd been waiting for ages and had been so close to getting into Ianto's pants, then this happened. All told, he hadn't had sex in over two months. He was starting to get seriously cranky. He collected his thoughts and tickled Ianto's ribs as he wandered over to the r&r area. "How about we watch a movie?" He asked, idly stroking the baby's hair as he settled onto the sofa, Ianto in his lap.
"As long as it isunt Si-Fye or Howuw." Ianto replied, his cute lisp making Jack almost say 'squee'. "I'm in the mood for a comudy." Jack peered at the DVD collection, picked out 50 First Dates and slotted it into the machine, snuggling down on the sofa with Ianto in his arms.
Owen changed his outfit four times. It wasn't that he cared what Tosh thought. He just knew he was amazing, and needed to look his best at all times. Deciding on jeans and a dark blue T-Shirt, which advertised him as 'THE SEX', he preened his hair a little, pulled on some shoes and a leather jacket, and headed out to pick Tosh up. She looked pretty good too, in a cute green dress which stopped at the knee, and showed some cleavage, and some matching green strappy shoes. Good enough to be on his arm, he decided, and told her she looked nice. Big mistake, her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and she stuttered over her thank you. He took her to a favourite haunt, a bar in the city centre which was busy enough to be fun, but not too loud, and they began the evening with Mojitos and talk about work.
Several hours and several bars later, Owen decided it was time to head home. He asked Tosh back to his for a nightcap, and decided he wanted to have sex with her after all. They were both fairly pissed, so it could all be blamed on drink in the morning. As they walked, Owen recalled that he'd left his satchel in the hub. He really needed it, so they took a detour, and descended into the darkened building on the invisible lift. As they reached the bottom, Owen opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by Tosh, who put her hand over his mouth and pointed. Jack was lying on the sofa, curled around baby Ianto. The two were sleeping peacefully, and looked the picture of cute. Even Owen had to let out a small awww, once Tosh had removed her hand. Quietly, he snuck across the room and retrieved his bag, before climbing back onto the lift with Tosh and riding it back to surface level. Time to head home. He wound an arm round Tosh's waist, and as they walked, his hand slowly slipped downwards to rest on her bottom. She looked at him through her lashes and smiled, so he left it there.
Tosh smiled as Owen's hand came to rest on her bum. He was finally coming on to her. HER. She was tempted to jump up and down and yell 'Yes! Yes! Yes!' at the top of her lungs, but settled instead for a coy smile and snuggling closer to him as they walked. He was really quite warm, and since she hadn't brought a jacket, she needed his body heat. Tonight was going to be fun, she mused, as they walked back to his flat, chattering about their childhoods, and stopping for an occasional drunken fumble or snog. Tonight was going to be very fun.