I inhaled my food like I hadn't eaten in weeks, when in reality, it was only a day or so. I was more than happy to finish off the rest of Edward's, and when Alice came back, hers as well. Of course, afterwards, I felt like a total pig. I don't think I've ever said sorry so many times in my life.
After my fest, I didn't feel up to doing anything. The doctor came in and said after another night I could go home, but they needed to check my head a few more times first. As long as Edward was there, I could stand to be in that Hell hole. Without him, I would have argued and demanded to be sent home. Then again, I've had accidents, but nothing as brutal as this. They'd probably call me crazy and send me to the Nut House.
To pass time, I had Alice rant about clothes to let me use when the bruising got better and the stitches went away. I could only laugh at this. She always looked at the positive side. I doubt she knew what the word "depression" meant, yet alone experienced it.
When Alice called it a day, she kissed me on the forehead and told me to be good. I just gave her a strange look, which made Edward chuckle. How could I possibly be bad in a hospital, especially since I was stuck in bed ¾ of the time?
Alice kissed Edward's forehead too, which wasn't surprising. She might not be "with him," but that didn't stop her… well, from being herself.
As soon as Alice left, it was just Edward and I. I could feel my cheeks warming up already.
"So, how you feeling?" he asked, standing up to turn on the lamp beside the bed. "Any progress?"
I shrugged. I was growing tired of that question, but I didn't show my irritation.
Closing the blinds, he gave me a quick look, as if asking for my approval. I nodded and moved my hand a bit in an awkward gesture. "Go ahead, I need some rest soon, anyways… How long are you staying?" I ended it with the question that had ran through my mind all day long. I never wanted him to leave, but I knew he had tons of better things to do.
How much fun is a sick person?
"As long as you want, Bella. There are no limitations," Edward said softly, his voice lower than usual. He had put special emphasis on the word "no" and I liked it.
I chewed nervously on my bottom lip, trying to think of an appropriate answer. Saying that I wanted him to stay was a little… demanding. I had grown attached to him, and I knew that it would probably end up with me sobbing, and him explaining his undying love for his ex. Nothing could end well.
"You should go… I know for a fact that you have better ways to spend your time," I urged with a smile. I could last one last night without him. Then again, I had no clue when I'd see him again. It made me sick just thinking about it.
"Do you not think this is an efficient way?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow, daring me to say so.
"Edward, I thank you for the hours you've spent with me. Without you and Alice around, I'd be either dead, or insane. You've helped me enough—"
"Ever think someone isn't just doing it to be nice?"
This question made me stumble for words. I looked at him with my mouth a jar and eyes wide. So, what was he here for? A secret mission to murder me once I was awake enough to feel all the pain? I shook the thought away. My ideas were way over the top.
He sighed softly, his body tensing as he tried to explain.
"Bella, do you ever think someone does something for reasons they can't define? Maybe because they have different feels that they don't know how to express?"
"Uh, is that rhetorical?"
He chuckled a few times, then shook his head slowly. "Bella, I'm being serious; very, very serious. Although I've know you for only a short number of hours, I still feel… I don't know, different when I'm with you. Not in a bad way, but in a way I don't understand yet. You draw me in—like a small child that wants some candy."
I was lost—way lost.
"Edward, I'm nothing special, so don't go thinking I need to here it. I'm nothing more than ordinary," I stated flatly, my stare moving around the room, and settling on the ceiling. "I think you should go…"
That was a lie. I had never been a good liar, but he had never heard me lie before. I took that as a advantage.
It took him a few moments to process it, but he finally nodded his head. I could see sorrow stick to his face, hiding his movie star smile. I hated to see him like this, but I had too. There was no way we could ever be together. He wouldn't even consider it—I was way below on the social ladder. I knew that now, and I kept it pushed to the back of my mind, saved for later.
"I'm sorry Edward… I'm just—"
He leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek before rushing out the door. I swear there were tears in his eyes.
I sat in silence for what seemed like hours—or maybe it was. I didn't bother checking the time, and I didn't care. I just sat there, my eyes boring into the door. I had just let perhaps the best thing that hit me, walk out that door.
I now hated doors.
To bad I didn't hate Edward. It would have made everything so much easier. If he had actually saved me for the fame, he could have pulled me out and that would be that. That way, I would have known better then to like him. (Or was it more?)
I closed my eyes tightly and tried to run into dreamland. My attempts to leave Edward didn't work—of course. I saw him there, in my dreams. I didn't run, or hide, or scream. I did, in fact, do the opposite. I smiled, walked towards him, and kissed his icy lips softly.
I loved that dream.