AUTHOR'S NOTE: Tadaaaa! I know, you must all hate me viciosuly and want to murder me in my sleep, but here it is, chapter 9. Unbeta'd and here for your viewing pleasure. Sorry it took so long, there have just been so many obstacles this chapter, mostly work related. I've buggered up my leg twice, had to go to A&E once, but thankfully nothing is broken, I'm still in one piece, just a little bruised. I am truly tuly sorry though. Thanks to all of you for your continual encouragement. I'm glad you all seem to be enjoying this as much as I am. There are a whole lot of you to thank, but I'd particularly like to mention Hotflower901 and LadyAnalyn for being such lovelies. There are more of you who always review and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so I'd like to thank everyone, even those I haven't listed. Well, now that you've all died from an overdose of Lucy-induced fluff, I hope you enjoy the next chapter. As always, let me know what you think, I'm waiting for your reviews like a child waits for Father Christmas (although hopefully your reviews actually exist :D). R&R and you will recieve eternal cookies for your trouble. Love xxx

Owen woke with a start and a sudden thought. He blinked himself into consciousness, aware of Tosh's sleeping body next to him, and not wanting to wake her. She lay curled into his side, her hair in her face, which was peaceful and relaxed. She looked beautiful, and he wished he could just lie there for a while, but his idea was pressing at his mind, and it was a whopper of an idea! Carefully, he disentangled his limbs from hers, settling the covers around her, and hunting down some clothes. He scrawled a quick note to her and left, glancing at the clock. It was 6:30, he might just do it in time…

Tapping his foot, he waited and checked his watch three times during the short journey down the invisible lift into the Hub. There were no signs of life, however, there was what seemed to be the leftovers of a picnic in the boardroom. Owen smirked and bounded up to Jack's office, walking softly over to the hole in the floor and lifting the cover. A rather awake Jack looked up at him with a confused smile on his face, and a sleeping Ianto in his arms. Owen quirked an eyebrow and made a mental note to talk to him about that later.

"I've got an idea." He said to Jack, who raised an eyebrow. He wondered, since Jack was obviously wide awake, if he had even slept… maybe he never slept… No, that'd be too weird!

"Shhh. You'll wake him." Jack pouted up to him, gesturing at Ianto's snoring form.

"Good. I need him. I think I might be able to sort out this whole Tea-boy ageing crisis."

"Oh?" Jack looked genuinely intrigued now. He sat up, disturbing Ianto, who snuffled, wriggled and blinked a little before grumbling.

"Whasgoinon?" Jack looked down at him, grinned, ruffled his hair, then looked back at Owen.

"Doctor Early Riser here thinks he can sort out your ageing problem."

"Oh?" Ianto asked, looking up with such a similar look to the one Jack had just given him that Owen wondered if it was catching. He suppressed a shudder.

"Yeah. I need to hook you up to some machines. If I can measure the energy and the frequency and all the other stuff that goes on during your changes, I can try to recreate it and age you faster than the artefact is doing it."

"Ohhhh." Jack and Ianto nodded simultaneously. "And this had to be done at 7 in the morning because?" Ianto continued.

"Because I need time to set up the monitors and check they're working properly before you change. And I really want coffee…." Owen smirked. Ianto nodded sagely, as though that was the answer he had expected, then shuffled to the edge of what Jack liked to call a bed and plopped off onto the floor. He padded off towards the bathroom. Jack watched him go then turned to look at Owen.

"I think you can take that as a 'yes, Owen, you can use me as a guinea pig in your crazy experiment'." He smirked.

"Okay." Owen nodded. "I'll go start setting up the autopsy bay. You… Do whatever it is you do…" He turned on his heel and headed briskly towards his desk to pick up a few things. Jack shrugged, pulled on a shirt, resolving to have a shower and change his clothes later. At the risk of death, he padded to the coffee machine and pressed buttons until it gave him two lattes, before carrying them over to the autopsy bay where Owen was busy twiddling with things and talking to himself.

"You know that's a sign of madness, right?" He offered loudly as he descended the stairs, making Owen jump and bump his head on the underside of the gurney. "I'm almost proud of you… coffee?" He extended his arm and Owen swooped upon the mug, taking a long swig before drawing back to look incredulously at the brew.

"Who made this?" He asked, a look of disgust on his face.

"I did… Is it bad?" Jack asked, risking a sip of his own cup, then resisting the urge to spit it out.

"Did you empty out the grinds?"

"Nope… What? What's that anyway?"

"Oh Ye Gods! The brown stuff which you filter water through to get the coffee… you're supposed to empty it every so often." He supplied in a flat monotone as though talking to a two year old.

"Alright! I know how to build a teleportation system from scratch, no need to talk to me like I know less about technology than your Grandma!" Jack threw back, looking wounded.

"If you know how to make a teleportation device, how come we still use the SUV?"

"I like the winding country roads. And you'd only do something stupid like teleport into the ladies toilets or the women's shower-room at the gym."

"True… I concede that. Well, I can use this disgusting tar for some of the plants in the hothouse, so leave it on the side." He nodded as Jack set down his cup. "Now… About your sleeping arrangements…"

"What about them? And don't try to tell me to move out of the Hub, countless people have tried and failed." Jack said determinedly, stance set for a fight.

"I don't give a rat's arse where you sleep. It's the Teababy I'm concerned about. You can't still have him in your bed. He needs his own room now."

"Why?" Jack looked genuinely perplexed. Owen rolled his eyes.

"Think, Jack. What's the usual reason Adults don't sleep with 8 year olds. We don't know if the experiences he has now will have a lasting effect. He needs his own room."

"But there isn't anywhere in the Hub, and anyway, it's not like I'm doing anything! We just go to sleep." Jack was now looking slightly pathetic.

"Jack, I know you're not doing anything to harm him. It's ok, he can come stay with me for a while."

"But…"

"No buts. He needs space. You are NOT his father." Owen challenged, putting on his best authoritative voice and face.

"Okay…" Jack looked at the floor. "Doctor's orders and all that…" He sighed. "So, lets hook up this machinery." He stepped forward to help Owen connect all the cables.

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Ianto emerged from the shower-room, clambered up the ladder and went to make his way to the autopsy bay. Until he caught the telltale smell of coffee, that was. Upon discovering the scent of coffee in the air, he swiftly made a beeline for the kitchenette, stopping in the doorway and making a strangled sort of scream at the wreckage of his beloved coffee machine.

"Jack!" He yelled in a similar tone. "Get the fuck up here NOW!" He heard something clanging and assumed Jack had dropped whatever he was doing.

"You know, it's a bit disconcerting hearing an eight year old say 'fuck'." Jack remarked as he bounded up the stairs, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"What, precisely, is THAT!?" Ianto growled, pointing in the direction of the carnage. Jack looked into the room, and his grin suddenly disappeared to be replaced with a look of abject horror. His face paled and his mouth worked silently for a while before he found his voice.

"But… But I… I didn't… I only made two lattes!" He stuttered, incredulous.

"How many buttons did you press?" Ianto demanded. "Because the latte button does not do that!" He pointed vigorously at the mess and Jack was forced to look at it again. The kitchenette, which was usually sparklingly clean and smelt softly of detergent, was covered in scalding, sticky brown water, which wasn't quite coffee, but rather some kind of boiling treacle. The machine itself was still regurgitating this viscous liquid like there was a never-ending supply of the stuff within its bowels. The front panel of the machine had fallen off and was lying on the floor coated in the ooze, steaming. The insides of the machine were sparking and smoking. The milk steamer had fallen off and was rolling in small circles on the floor. Several tidy stacks of small coffee mugs had fallen to the floor and smashed. One end of the machine, where the filter coffee usually came out, had exploded, and the bits were scattered across the room. This was where most of the fluid had leaked from. Unfortunately, some of the exploded bits had taken a journey straight into the side of the glass jar which held Jack's favourite coffee beans, smashing it to smithereens and sending most of the coffee onto the floor and into the swamp of disgusting brown mess. In short, the kitchenette was ruined.

"I… I guess I probably pressed most of them at least once…" Jack turned to look at Ianto. He looked beyond livid. His eye twitched and a nerve in his jaw jumped. He slowly turned his head to look up at Jack.

"I'm going now. I'm going to go to the autopsy bay and pretend I never came over here this morning." Ianto began in a monotone which belied his true fury. "I'm not going to come back to the kitchenette all day. At six thirty when everyone has gone home, I'm going to come back and make cocoa for the two of us. By that time, there will be no trace of this ever occurring. UNDERSTOOD?" He glared silently, and Jack, for the first time in a long time, found himself truly scared. He couldn't muster a sentence, so just emitted a high-pitched squeak and nodded meekly. Nodding himself, Ianto turned and stalked off to the autopsy bay.

Jack looked at the clock. It was 8 am. He had 10 hours. Glancing back at the disaster zone, he let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, then fled to make some necessary phone calls, and call in favours from old friends.

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Ianto thundered into the autopsy bay, turned around three times, breathed heavily and counted to ten, then looked up to see Owen looking at him, one eyebrow raised in contemplation.

"May I suggest a trip to the psychiatrist and a possible lobotomy?" He questioned.

"May I suggest a nice cup of shut the fuck up, and that you call Tosh and get her to call into Starbucks on the way here." He glared the same glare he'd used on Jack, and Owen went a shade paler.

"Oh… Yeah… I'll go do that now…" He murmured, scurrying out of the room to follow his orders. Ianto sat on the autopsy table, calmed himself down, and wondered, if he had this much power as an eight year old, why did he still feel worthless as an adult? All things considered, he supposed the team were showing him now that he wasn't worthless to them at all. Maybe he had just been reading things wrong. Sighing, he lay back on the table, glaring at the ceiling, and imagined he saw that too go a shade paler. Although, since it was already white, that wasn't technically possible… Was it?

Owen re-emerged, silent, and continued his work around Ianto, not even breathing in a irritating manner. Ianto smirked to himself and listened to the sounds until Owen was finished, then he sat up and shuffled to face him.

"Ok, so how's this going to work?" Owen looked up at him from where he was crouched near the socket in the wall. He smiled then launched into a fully blown step by step account of what was about to happen. Ianto found himself a little confused. Ok, a little was an understatement. He hadn't a clue what Owen was on about. He waited until Owen finished, not wanting to interrupt him when he was talking so animatedly. Once silence returned, he smiled sympathetically and said, "In English please?"

"Oh…" Owen looked at him like he really was eight years old. "Yeah, sorry. Basically, there must be certain energies running through you at the point that you collapse. I'm going to measure those energies now, and then monitor them whilst the change takes place. Once we know what the energy pattern is, we can start trying to recreate it." Ianto nodded. It sounded like a good plan.

"So you need to hook me up to this crazy contraption?" He asked, eyeing the mess of wires sceptically.

"Yes indeed." Owen grinned, advancing on him.

An hour later, when Tosh arrived on the scene and looked in, handing around coffee, Owen was tapping a pen impatiently against the desk and muttering to himself whilst he read the screen before him, and Ianto was trying his hardest to ignore the irritating noise whilst re-reading 'War and Peace', sitting cross-legged on the autopsy table and hooked up to the scanner. Smiling, Tosh gave Owen a quick kiss whilst Ianto wasn't looking, then deposited their coffees on the table before heading towards Jack's office. From the explanation Owen had given him, she would be needed to help Jack sort out the kitchenette today.

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Jack was in what could only be described as a flap. He and Gwen were bumbling round his office like crazies, which made Tosh stop and smile before she entered. Funny how when the world was in danger from some undeterminable force, Jack was cool as a cucumber issuing orders, but when Ianto was cross about the state of the kitchenette, which was understandable considering its current state, everything went to pot. Stepping over the threshold, she bellowed,

"STAND STILL!" The effect was immediate. Jack and Gwen froze, before turning around slowly to gaze at Tosh. "Good. Now, what have you done so far?"

"Nothing!" Jack burst out in a pitiful whine. "There's so much to do! I don't know where to start!" Sighing, Tosh shook her head.

"Right. Gwen, go get a mop and bucket and get up as much of that mess as you can. We need to see the damage before we can fix it. Jack, come with me." Gwen left the room quickly, and Jack turned to her, confused.

"Where are we going?" He asked with a pout.

"To town. We're going to a showroom so that you can choose kitchen things. An ex of yours works there and she's still sweet on you, so we can get a quick delivery."

"Ugh, not Sylvia?" Jack asked with a groan, covering his eyes.

"Yes, Sylvia. It's the only way…" She grinned and put on a mock sex kitten voice for the next bit, "Jack baby." She grinned as he glared at her.

"I was drunk! I blame Suzie… She was the worst two night stand I ever had!" He ran a hand through his hair. "I refuse to flirt with her!"

"Ooh, that's a first." Tosh giggled. Ignoring Jack's continuing loud complaints, she grabbed his sleeve and dragged him out of the Hub.

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Ianto glanced at the clock, then went back to drinking his coffee, which, he noted, was single shot. Jack had obviously told the team to cap his caffeine intake or something. He usually had three shots in his coffee… He pouted in protest, before turning to Owen.

"Six minutes to go. You got the data you needed?" He asked the medic, who was currently scribbling furiously on a piece of paper.

"Yup. I have readings of everything from you. Blood work, BMI, hormone levels, residual rift energy, you name it, I got it. If anything changes, this machine will bleep like you've just won Pac-man, and we'll all know how awesome I am." Owen grinned, satisfied with his own genius.

"And if it doesn't bleep?" Ianto asked, eyebrow raised. Owen frowned.

"You dare doubt my genius? If it doesn't bleep then we've scientifically proved that you're as weird as I always said you were." He grinned and Ianto fought the childish urge to poke out his tongue.

"Brilliant." He deadpanned instead. "Then I can escape this madhouse and go to a proper asylum, where the doctors actually know what they're doing." He smirked, and Owen looked wounded.

"Shut up. You're about to do that weird ageing thing again. I need you to be silent."

"Whatever." Ianto replied and spent the next few seconds glaring at Owen, before the familiar feeling overcame him and he blacked out. The first thing he became aware of when he woke was that there was definitely no bleeping going on. The second was that Owen was cursing like a sailor.

"Pile of shit alien technology. Waste of fucking time. Why does nothing fucking work around here?" He fumed as Ianto sat up and blinked at him.

"What happened?"

"Fuck all." Owen growled. "The machine says you just switched off, then switched back on again with new readings. Didn't pick up any energy signals or anything. Bollocks! I was sure that'd work." Ianto merely laughed at him until a death glare stopped him. "And you can shut the fuck up too." He growled, removing the monitoring equipment from where it was attached to Ianto. "Go… Hide somewhere. I'm gonna call a meeting in the boardroom to discuss this."

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Jack made sure to drag his feet along the carpet and pout as much as possible, avoiding eye contact with anyone lest the turn out to be the dreaded Sylvia ('That's Sylvie to you, Jacky baby'). Tosh dragged him round by his lapel until he whined that she was ruining his coat and she demanded he follow her of his own accord. They'd almost finished picking out new things for the kitchenette, a process which Jack was finding enjoyable despite his best attempts at sulking, when a high pitched squeal echoed across the showroom, and Jack flinched, trying to duck inside a nearby shower cubicle. He didn't quite get there in time.

"Jacky baby!" The high pitched voice continued. "Oh, it's been so long!" She swooped towards them, and Tosh stifled a laugh. Despite the store's uniform of baby blue shirts and navy skirts or trousers, Sylvia was wearing a pink blouse over a white vest top, buttoned under her substantial bust to accentuate it, and a pair of tight, almost spray on jeans which were clearly designed to draw attention to her rear. Her stomach was showing, and she had a bright pink piercing there. Her blonde hair was coiled into tight ringlets around her head, and she was wearing large quantities of pink plastic jewellery, along with a silver chain with a heart motif on the end and an embossed S on it. Her hands were covered in silver rings of various styles, and she had several silver bangles also, which clanged together as she moved in much the same fashion as a bell on a cat's collar. It made Tosh surprised that they hadn't heard her coming sooner. Her make-up was overdone, giving the impression of some kind of glamour model. She was, it had to be said, hot. There was no doubt about that. Anyone who attracted the attention of Jack Harkness tended to be so. However, she was also the most clingy, overpowering and downright irritating woman Toshiko Sato had ever met. She gave the overall impression of trying too hard, and Tosh thought she looked like a slut. Jack thought she looked alright, but he wasn't EVER going to go there again. Ever!

"Hi Sylvia." Jack mumbled. "Just…er… looking at kitchens." He flashed her as much of a grin as he could muster. "didn't know you worked here." Tosh elbowed him in the ribs and mumbled,

"Come on, you can do better than this! Do it for Ianto!" Jack grimaced suddenly, then cleared his mind to focus on the task at hand. Sylvia, who hadn't heard Tosh, twiddles a strand of hair between her fingers and looked up at Jack through lowered lashes.

"I've told you before, Jacky, it's Sylvie to you." She smiled coyly, and he flashed her a much better grin.

"Of course it is, Sylvie." He practically purred, and even Tosh was impressed by his skills. She mouthed 'that's better' over Sylvia's shoulder. "Well, actually, I could kinda use your help. You know how useless I am, and, well, this sort of thing needs a woman's touch, don't you think?" He asked with a goofy smile. Sylvia melted. It was amazing, Tosh considered, how easily Jack seemed to get women into the palm of his hand… figuratively speaking, of course… Well, also literally speaking…

"You're absolutely right, Jacky baby. I know how cold and lonely bachelor pads can get without a woman's presence." She practically leered, and Jack fought the urge to run, staying on the spot and bringing his arm around to rest his hand on the small of her back.

"Exactly, Sylvie. So, what I need is to re-do my kitchen right away! I've chosen most of it, but I need your help choosing the most vital part… the kitchen sink!" He winked at her, recalling that one of their… liaisons… had begun in that very place. She blushed prettily and giggled.

"Oh, yes, that is very important." She giggled again, trailing one finger up his chest. "Let me give you a hand with that." She grinned wickedly, trailing her whole hand down his chest, with the clear intent of reaching parts of his anatomy which he really, really didn't want her near. Instead he grabbed the hand and kissed her knuckles quickly with a grin.

"Lead the way, my heroine!" He grinned, then as she was leading him towards the sink section, turned to Tosh to pull a face and mouth 'help!'. Tosh merely smiled at him and followed at a distance.

Around twenty minutes later, when Jack had flirted his way through the choosing of a simple stainless steel sing, and had avoided being molested, they stood at the counter, Sylvia hanging off Jack's arm and giggling.

"Thank you so much for your help, Sylvie." He grinned. "You've been fantastic as always." She giggled again and fluttered her lashes at him. "There's just one more thing I need your help with…"

"Oh? And what's that Jacky baby?" She cooed, pressing close to him.

"Well, since I need this kitchen doing super fast, I really, really need the parts delivering as soon as possible… I'm sure that since you're so amazing, you can get someone to do that for me, right?" He leaned down to grin conspiratorially at her. "Then I'll have the rest of the day free to have a bit of fun." He winked and she blushed again.

"Anything for you, baby." She purred. "I'll have one of the guys drop it round in half an hour."

"Sylvie, you're just too good to be true." He wrapped his arms around her waist. "So, when do you get off work?" She gazed up at him adoringly.

"Not until 6:30, I'm afraid…" She pouted.

"Oh, and I have an appointment at 7. How about I take your number and we can schedule coffee sometime?" He leered, letting his hand slip just a little lower.

"I'd love that." She grinned, whipping out a pad and a pen and scribbling her number and name along with a few hearts and kisses. "Call me anytime, baby."

"I'll do it as soon as I finish my appointment tonight." He said with a warm smile. "Thanks for your help, see you as soon as I can." He gave her a small hug and a kiss on the cheek, then turned to leave. She waved them out of the store with a huge grin plastered on her face.

Jack waited 'til they were safely back in the SUV before making a mock retching noise.

"I will have my revenge, Toshiko. You wait and see." He pouted, then went back to sulking.

"Sulk all you like, Jack, I just saved your arse from being murdered by Ianto."

"True… but you almost got me eaten by a vicious predator in the process." He grinned, and they both giggled.

"Is it just me, or has she gotten worse?" Tosh asked through her laughter.

"No, she was always that bad." Jack grimaced. "I mean, can you imagine? The sex was amazing, but afterwards… I've never woken up regretting anything more in my life! She just talked and talked and talked.. Then started saying how we would be married and…" He shuddered. "It was hell." Continuing to moan about how terrible she was, Jack started the engine and drove back to the Hub, where he was immediately called to the boardroom by Owen.

Jack and Tosh entered the boardroom together, curious as to what Owen had discovered. They paused in their curiosity to take in the sight of a nine year old Ianto, who was impossibly adorable. Jack's irritation at Sylvia melted away to be replaced by a flush of warm, fuzzy feelings at seeing Ianto again. He was slightly dishevelled, hair a mess despite Jack being sure he had spent a lot of time trying to sort it out. He sprawled on the chair in a pair of cream shorts and a navy hooded jumper, a graze on one knee where he had fallen over earlier, and a cotton bud pressed to his arm from where Owen had taken a blood sample. He was grinning up at the projector screen with a look of utter happiness on his face, laughing unabashedly at the video footage Owen was showing him of various humorous accidents. Jack thought that he looked so without inhibitions, so naïve and happy and innocent that he wished he could keep him like that forever. He wasn't at all the Ianto Jack was used to seeing, hidden behind his mask of butlerisms and wit. He was comfortable in his own skin, and his laughter was infectious and endearing. Jack found himself laughing along, despite not being aware of what exactly had happened in the latest clip, and noticed that Tosh was doing the same. Ianto turned at the sound, his laughter replaced by an easy grin.

"Hi, Jack." He smiled, keeping to his word about pretending that the mess in the kitchen hadn't happened.

"Hi, baby." Jack replied, grinning back and finding himself suddenly awkward and cumbersome compared to Ianto's easy presence. "How are you feeling?" He probed.

"Oh, I'm good thank you." Ianto chuckled. "Owen, however, is feeling a little wounded. Do be nice to him." He grinned conspiratorially, and Jack chuckled himself.

"Speaking of which, Owen, how'd it go?" He asked, seating himself at his usual place, and flashing a smile at Gwen. Owen cleared his throat, shut off the video and frowned in an important manner.

"Ok, so… There were slight complications…" He began.

"What Owen means to say is that his plan was a load of rubbish." Gwen interrupted with a smirk.

"Not true, Gwen." Owen responded with a scowl. "Whilst the test didn't show anything we can actually use, it did throw up some interesting things for us to consider. Basically, instead of an energy changing Ianto's body on a molecular level, the device is merely switching Ianto off, then turning him back on in an advanced state." He frowned some more. "Basically, there is nothing we can do to recreate its effects."

"But surely that's simple…" Gwen piped up. "You've said it yourself. The device switches Ianto off then on again. We just do that…" Everyone in the room turned to look at her incredulously. It was Tosh who spoke up, afraid that Jack was going to bite her. She switched on her best 'trust me, I'm a techie' face.

"Gwen, you do realise what 'switching off' means?" She began, then paused to see if it would sink in. It didn't seem to, so she continued. "You're basically suggesting that we kill Ianto then restart his heart… It's way too risky." She frowned, resisting the urge to smirk as realisation dawned on Gwen's face.

"Oh! God! Sorry, I thought… No! We couldn't do that!" Gwen blurted, face flushing, and everyone in the room let out a collective breath.

"Ok, so now that PC Psycho has suggested murder as an option, I'm willing to discuss the real merits of my discovery." Owen said in a monotone, earning him a glare from Gwen.

"Forgive me for sounding blunt, Owen…" Ianto said quietly, "But there doesn't seem to be a merit there. Basically, you have discovered that there is no way of recreating the process to age me. That seems to be a negative where I'm sitting."

"Yes, it does." Owen said with a satisfied smirk. "But only because your tiny brain can't think of any other consequences of that fact."

"Alright, kids, lets not bicker, or it'll be off to bed with no dinner for the both of you." that earned Jack a smile and a laugh from Tosh and Gwen and a scowl from Owen and Ianto. "Owen, get to the point. What's so great about Ianto 'switching off'?"

"Well, there aren't many species capable of doing that sort of thing. It'd have to be a highly technically advanced. That means we've narrowed the list of possible origins for the device. Once we obtain a list of possibilities, we can cross-reference them with the language pattern Tosh decoded on the device, giving us the species who made it. Once we know the species, it'll be much easier to work out how to work the damn thing, thus restoring Teababy to his usual state and giving us all a break from Captain Jack Horny and his army of sexual innuendos." Owen smiled in triumph.

"The frog-man makes a good point…" Ianto mused, causing Owen to grace him with his best 'fuck off' scowl.

"I like it, Owen. Take Ianto to the archives with you and check out all the species on record and whether their technical ability is that advanced. Then buzz Tosh and she'll help you cross reference." Jack beamed. "Good work, team. Keep it up." With that, he stood and swooped out of the office in true 'oh, yeah, look at me, I'm so hot it hurts' fashion, and strode towards the tourist office.

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Ianto glanced at his watch. He had been helping Owen for hours now. It was 5:30, and he wondered how Jack was getting on with the Kitchenette. Realistically, he had set the man an impossible task, he knew. However, Jack Harkness was nothing if not impossible. He let various scenarios of how the room would look when he got back reel through his mind. He was bored down here, but they had reached W, and were about to move on to X in their list of species. Unfortunately, there were a shit load of aliens whose names began with a Z, so they still had quite a way to go. Sighing, he turned his attention back to the task, aware that he was complaining as much as Owen was.

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Jack looked at his watch, and smiled, triumphant. He wad spent the entire afternoon getting this kitchenette fitted, and then retconning the delivery men so that they remembered a small flat in the fashionable part of town, the address of which just so happened to be the home of one of his most hated Unit liaison officers. If Sylvie went looking for him, a certain Mr Harold Worthington would get an unexpected and fairly unpleasant surprise.

The kitchenette itself was spotless. It looked even better than before. A new tiled floor was down and sparkling in a navy blue, the counters and sink were all stainless steel and shining, and the appliances, including the new, bigger, improved coffee machine, were all blue to match the floor. The walls had been painted in a pale blue, which Jack considered to be the colour of Ianto's eyes. The new table was also stainless steel, and he had bought stainless steel chairs and some high stools at the breakfast bar, an addition he had chosen. The light fittings too were a sparkling silver. The fridge was navy blue with a stainless steel handle. In short, it looked perfect. Jack swelled with pride and considered that he had done all of this (admittedly with a little help) before 6pm. He grinned to himself and went to sit in his office, dismissing Gwen and Tosh for the day as he did so, and replying to their cheery goodbyes.

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Ianto and Owen made their way up from the archives to find that the others had gone home. Ianto considered the clock, finding it to be time to go and see what sort of state his kitchen was in. He turned to Owen.

"Coffee before you leave?" He asked with a nervous smile.

"Sounds good, mate." Owen smiled. They had managed to be civil to each other all afternoon, and Ianto was almost feeling warm towards the doctor. Smiling, he left Owen by his station, where he had found a note from Tosh, and made his way tentatively to what he expected to still be a bomb sight.

Stepping through the threshold of the kitchenette, Ianto gasped, and his eyes welled up. It was perfect. It was better than perfect. It was… his. It sparkled, gleamed and glistened in all the right places. It was beautiful. He was amazed at how good a job jack had done, and found himself breathless at the scope of his hard work.

"Like it?" he heard a voice ask tentatively from behind him. Turning, he looked up to see the nervous face of a certain Jack Harkness, who was worrying at his lip in a way that made Ianto want to fling his arms round him and gush. Instead, he beamed.

"It's wonderful." He stretched out his arms and Jack lifted him with some effort. "It's beautiful." He wrapped his arms round jack's neck and hugged him tight. "It's perfect!" He exclaimed with a squeeze, and Jack chuckled.

"Well, I aim to please." He grinned, releasing Ianto and putting him down. "And I promise never to use the coffee machine again without your instruction." He said solemnly, one hand over his heart. "On pain of death… several times over." He grinned. Ianto laughed.

"Well, we'd better christen it. Hot chocolate?" Jack nodded enthusiastically, so Ianto set about making their beverages, completely forgetting about Owen in the process. They were snapped out of their reverie when Owen cleared his throat in the doorway.

"Sorry to crash the party, but I need to get back now. Gotta phone my little sister." He drawled. Ianto looked at him quizzically.

"Ok… Why are you telling us?" He ask, confused, and saw Jack's face fall slowly.

"Oh…" Jack sighed. "I forgot to tell you…" He frowned. "You're going to stay with Owen now… I'll er… See you in the morning." He smiled weakly, then left the from without further explanation. Ianto's heart fell from where it had been, several miles above the earth, to hit the floor with a hard thump. He looked after Jack, struck by a sudden sensation of loss. Did he not want Ianto there anymore? Was he bored of him? Fed up of looking after him? Thousands of possibilities streamed through Ianto's mind, none of them good. He looked at Owen, but was offered no comfort there, merely a shrug and a,

"Well, get a move on, we haven't got all night." Feeling distraught, Ianto slipped from his chair and followed Owen to his car, dejected. He resigned himself to a sleepless night away from Jack, wondering what he had done wrong to upset the man just when things had been going so well… He had thought they had been close, and now he had been unceremoniously dumped with Owen. Maybe he didn't mean as much to Jack as he thought he had… Maybe Jack was just humouring him.