Word Prompts:
Word: Captain
Phrase: The patient lay quietly
Quote: "Not a word about this." "Aye-aye, captain."

A/N: If anyone is wondering how I thought of this, when I saw patient I thought of Sakura, being a medic and all, and when I saw captain I thought of Sakura's 'captain', which I guess is Kakashi.

Summary: Sasuke has more in common with his sensei than sharingan...

Disclaimer: I don't own it, but if I did HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE? You'd, like, know the owner of Naruto.

Sakura winked at the cute male receptionist as he grabbed a file from his desk and handed it to her. "Thanks." Sakura hefted the file open curiously. "Clinic duty, my favourite," she said with a sarcastic tone. The secretary laughed a little. Grinning in return, Sakura turned on her heel and headed for the assigned room.

Taking a deep breath as she went into medic mode, Sakura pulled the door open and stepped through the doorway. Inside, the patient lay quietly on the table, staring straight up at the ceiling. Sakura checked the tab on her folder but she didn't recognize his name, which meant he was probably a civilian. Sakura relaxed her chakra a little before interrupting his reverie.

"So, Mr. Yakamura, how're you feeling today?" she asked jovially, pulling a chair up beside the table.

"Did you read the chart?" Mr. Yakamura replied in a hoarse voice. "I've got a fever, and chills."

Sakura glanced down at the file in her lap, reading quickly. "Oh," she said in surprise after a few moments, "you're a ninja?"

"Hai."

Her sea-green eyes flickered back up, examining Yakamura closely. "I don't recognize you."

The patient grunted in response, waiting another moment before saying, "Two shuriken in the side, I think one cracked a rib. It hurts a lot there."

Sakura stood up and gave him a small smile. "A shuriken cracking a rib? You're not a very good ninja, are you. You new to all this?"

If her condescending tone bothered Mr. Yakamura at all, he didn't show it. "Just get on with the exam."

Nodding, the pink-haired medic leaned over him. Her hair tickled his nose as she bent to unwrap the bandages he'd put over his wound, and at one point she reached up onto a shelf over his head, giving him an incredibly nice view down her shirt. Bringing her arm back down, she gave no notice of his long stare, instead pushing some salve from the bottle she'd just gotten out onto her hand. Carefully, Sakura pressed her fingers onto the nasty cut in his side. His muscles twitched under her hand, and Yakamura shifted uncomfortably.

Sakura looked at him skeptically. "Kakashi, you idiot, it's freakin infected."

With a poof, Mr. Yakamura disappeared in a cloud of smoke to be replaced by a disgruntled-looking Kakashi Hatake. "No it's not," he said stubbornly. "I cleaned it."

Sakura drew up to her full height, placing her hands on her hips. "Yet magically you got sick enough to not even mask your chakra properly. Fine. Whatever."

Bending over him again, Sakura moved her hand up his torso, kneading the skin just below his ribs lightly with her fingers. Her sensei grabbed her wrist, squeezing it tightly against the shoots of pain. "Sadist," he gasped.

Sakura shook her arm out of his death-grip. "Masochist. Why didn't you come in earlier?!"

He gave her the puppy eyes -- or eye, in his case. "You know I don't like hospitals, and the last thing I want is Tsunade lording it over me. As long as I'm here, by the way, it wasn't a shuriken. It was more like a machete..." he trailed off as Sakura glared at him, adding a little meekly, "...which may or may not have had flesh-eating bacteria on it, and may or may not have belonged to Zabu--"

"Kakashi!" screamed Sakura shrilly. "I can't believe you! So, what, one day you just decided for a morning run with some Akasuki?!"

Kakashi's gloved hand came over her mouth quickly. "Sakura, be quiet. It's over, anyways." Her bright eyes stared into his beseechingly, and he slowly removed his palm.

"What do you mean, over?" she asked the moment his hand was off. "Did you get anyone?"

Kakashi shook his head, then thoughtfully nodded. "If you count the gigantic sword as a person, it was kinda stuck in me so yeah."

Sakura felt like pulling her hair out. "It was stuck in you," she repeated, deadpan, "and I'm guessing you pulled it out all by yourself. Kakashi!" Sakura screeched again before he could answer. "I'm telling Tsunade right now!" In a flash, he was up off the table and in an attack position in front of the door.

"You are not telling her anything. Now sit down." Even though she was technically the boss in the room, Sakura snorted and sat down obediently.

His one visible eye creasing, her sensei smiled. "Good. Here's what's going to happen. You are going to bandage me up, I'm going to turn back into Yamakura or Yakamura or whatever the hell his name is, neither of us will say a word about this and I'll take you and Naruto out for lunch later. Okay?"

The thought of Kakashi bribing her with lunch was enough to make her burst out laughing, but she really did want to finish clinic duty and if she laughed he'd know she was going to tell Tsunade no matter what. In place of a laugh, Sakura instead answered dully, "Aye-aye, captain."

Fifteen minutes later Kakashi, now once again Mr. Yakamura, was all patched up and ready to leave. Bidding her thanks, he stood up and headed for the door, opening it hastily. Sakura stared after him, watching him walk away.

It took only a split second for Sakura to realise and jump up screaming loudly, "Sasuke! Get back here!"

R&R, duckies!