Author notes:

emm is just awesome.... I know I say it everytime but it really is true! Read her story (be)LONGING - It's great!

Thanks to qjmom for validating!

Disclaimer: I grovel at the feet of the most fabulous Stephenie Meyer and thank her for letting me play with her amazing characters. Her books have changed my life and I have tickets for the 12:05am showing of the movie! (sorry - I had to brag I'm so excited)

Renesmee

His expression was somber, tears in his eyes. I forgot my irritation and went to my husband. At that moment, my only thought was to comfort him.

I held on to Jake's massive frame, rubbing his back, trying everything I could to console him. Jake was so upset just like he was two years ago, when Billy had died. I didn't know what I could to do to help him. His shoulders shook while tears flowed down his face; it took him two minutes to get the words out.

"That was Alice. Charlie is having a heart attack. He's going to die. We need to go home," he choked.

I felt shock slowly take me over. My brain couldn't latch hold of the words. It was like I was in a wind tunnel and I could see Jacob's lips moving but couldn't hear the actual words. I stood holding on to Jake while sobs coursed through his body. I couldn't feel anything. The only thought in my head was that we had to leave, now. So, I helped Jake to the couch and started packing everything up. When Jake got up to help, I was doing everything so fast he could hardly keep up. We had everything packed and were setting sail after only ten minutes.

In the cab, on the way to the airport, Jake called Jasper and got the flight information. We would be flying out in about two hours. We checked in and made it to the gate with thirty minutes to spare. Several times, Jake pulled me back and reminded me to slow down. I was still in a numb panic.

We stood watching planes and waiting for the boarding call, Jake's arm tight around my shoulder and my arm wrapped around his waist. I felt the phone in Jake's pocket vibrate and reached for it.

"Hello?"

"Renesmee?" Alice sounded so sad I barely recognized her voice.

"Uh huh."

"I just got a call from your Dad, Charlie is gone. I am so sorry…Your mom and dad were with him when he died."

I couldn't move. Jake took the phone from me, talked to Alice for a moment and the flipped the phone closed with a snap.

I felt Jake's arms around me, but I could not respond to them. I could hear someone gasping, loudly. Gasping and sobbing. I sure wished that person, whoever it was, would just shut up so I could process this whole mess. Several people walked up to us to offer assistance, including a security guard. Very calmly, my husband explained that I had just learned a very close relative had unexpectedly passed away. They each had sad but understanding eyes as they left us alone. My eyes stung with tears and I realized the gasping and sobbing person was me. The numb was gone and left nothing but raw wounds in its wake.

I turned into Jakes chest and he held me tight while my shoulders shook with sobs. It hurt so deep - in places I didn't know pain could exist. So much of my family was immortal; it was easy to forget some were not. I had no idea the all encompassing pain of loss. Jake held me tight, his face buried in my hair. He rubbed comforting circles into my back. I could feel Jake's tears wet my hair; mine saturated his shirt.

The flight began to board and we took our places in first class. I took a sip of soda Jake had ordered for me and then relaxed against Jake's warmth. I concentrated on the sound of his steady heart beat to distract myself. I was tired and my head hurt from crying. I fell asleep to the hypnotizing sound of Jake's heart and the comfort of his encompassing heat.

Nightmares filled my sleep. I was driving up to the house I knew so well. I went inside, calling for Grandpa. "Grandpa!" I screamed over and over. I looked and looked, but Grandpa was nowhere to be found. I searched around the house and noticed how dusty everything was; it looked as if he had been gone for a very long time. With a crushing blow, I knew he would never come back to this house, would never be anywhere ever again. I collapsed to the floor shaking with sobs.

I could hear a whisper in my ear,"Shh, Shh, Ness - It's OK – We'll be home soon – It's OK." Had I been sobbing in my sleep as well? Jake's whisper woke me. I was glad. I wouldn't be sleeping again anytime soon. I just couldn't bare that dream again. I stayed in Jacob's arms; tears continued to course silently. He stroked my hair and it calmed me a great deal – he really did know what I needed, all the time. After a few hours, our plane landed in Houston.

Jake put his arm around me and led me to the next gate. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and staying close to Jake. My eyes were blurry and my mind hazy from all of the crying and the lack of sleep. I knew that I had never cried this much in my whole life put together. Nothing had ever hurt like this. I forced myself not to think of Grandpa Charlie. I knew I would not be able to walk at all if another round of sobs hit right now.

Luckily, we did not have to wait long to board the next flight. Grandpa and I had a special relationship and while I loved Carlisle and thought of him as a grandfather as well, Grandpa Charlie was just Grandpa to me. Maybe it was because Carlisle would be more of a peer, after time, and Grandpa never would. I was glad I had found my seat before that thought had occurred; the force of it was nearly overwhelming. The raw wounds of loss twinged painfully again.

I allowed the memories to flood like water from a broken dam. I remembered the first time I saw Grandpa; I hid in Mom's hair while Dad reminded me not to bite him. I remembered his eyes; they were just like mine and just like Mom's…before. I remembered all the Christmases in his little house. It was always plumb full of all the wolf boys like my Jacob. Everyone was noisy and happy. Grandpa had taken me fishing lots of times. Jake and Mom and Dad came, too, the first time. They just watched. I got to be a good fisherman, but I hated eating the stuff. He used to joke that even though I hated eating fish; at least I liked to go with him…which was more than my mom could ever say. I remembered sitting on Grandpa's lap; he taught me about foot ball and basketball while we watched the game with Emmett and Jake. I think Jake was glad I enjoyed a good game as much as he did. The look on Grandpa's face when I told him I was marrying Jake was a priceless memory I would never forget.

Grandpa's special smile filled every memory - the smile that was mine alone. The smile that made me feel in every part of me - I was the most special to him. Sobs coursed through my body. Each memory held the joy of Grandpa and the sting of loss. The emptiness was all consuming, at moments it felt my whole body would have come apart if Jake had not been holding me so closely. My eyes were red and swollen and every muscle was exhausted from the constant sobbing when the plane landed in Seattle.

BELLA

We stood in the airport waiting for Jake and Renesmee – I was nearly shaking from nervousness. The pain had already eased, some. The healing had begun over night - Edward had held me, whispering his love at times, but mostly just being there. I could tell the affects of time, enhanced by a loving husband would mend my heart. I always found it hard to keep up the human façade when I was so nervous. I had to keep reminding myself to blink, breathe and fidget instead of being the statue that was more natural. I worried over and over - how would Renesmee be taking this? How could I help her through? Human death was not something she had even seen much. She had watched from the sidelines when Billy died, but she was much younger then and it was the only time she had ever been exposed to death and grieving.

I watched the security area closely while I listened for Jake and Ness. When I saw them I gaped, she looked horrible. Her face was swollen from crying, she looked like she was absolutely exhausted. Jake had his arm around Renesmee's waist helping her walk down through the security exit. My eyes began to sting the wounds from yesterday tore open again. My baby was hurting and I couldn't help her, not really. I want tears! I screamed in my head though I knew it would do no good. I looked at Edward, his arm was around my waist, his eyes locked on our little girl. He looked as if he would shed tears too, if only he could.

Jake and Ness finally made it past the security sign and over to where we stood waiting. Edward and I each took a moment to hug her, Jake never let go. I felt a fresh wave of sobs, hers and mine, begin as we embraced. We stood there for a long time just holding on to each other and sharing our grief over Charlie. When our sobs subsided I pulled away to look in her eyes. I could see the pain and the loss so deeply; I had to hold my breath for a moment to push away another round of sobs. I caught a strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. Then I kissed her wet cheek and whispered my apologies for ending her honeymoon. She shook her head slightly and we started walking out to our car.

Edward had decided his beloved silver Volvo was getting old and bought a new one, this time, midnight blue. Rosalie had spent a good deal of time fixing it up to Edward's specifications. The car was smooth and super fast. Ness and I snuggled into the backseat while the guys grabbed the luggage from baggage claim.

Renesmee curled up on my lap like she had when she was a small child. In an equally childlike gesture, she reached her hand up and set it against my cheek. She played out her favorite memories of Charlie and each one held joy seasoned with strong helpings of grief. The hole in my heart began to ache again. I ached for the loss of Charlie but even more so for the pain of the little girl in my arms. Her eyes filled with innocence, she asked me, in her way, how to cope.

I didn't know how to answer her. I was trying to decide if there was anything I could say at all, when I heard the footfalls of our husbands. They put the bags in the trunk and got in the car - we began speeding our way toward Forks.

Apparently, Edward had heard Renesmee's question on his way through the parking garage because he began to explain, "You really have to find your own way to deal with loss, Ness. It is not really something anyone can tell you how to do. The funeral will help as it will give you a chance to say goodbye, and time will help." I was instantly grateful for his wisdom.

Jake nodded in agreement, "It will be OK, baby. We'll figure it out together. I'll help you every way I can." He looked back at her and took her hand. Jake's eyes glazed over and Edward grinned. I had seen this before. Ness was showing Jake how much she loved him. It was simply an amazing thing to watch but nearly impossible to describe. Jake slouched back against the seat a joyful grin on his face, eyes half closed in complete contentment.

Ness gave in to the exhaustion - she cuddled in closer and soon fell asleep. The drive went very quickly. I watched the forests zoom past us and listened to the quiet sounds of Renesmee sleeping. Jake soon followed. When the car stopped, Jake woke up. He saw her still sleeping in my arms. He motioned for me to not disturb her, came around the car and took her from me so he could carry her up to Edward's room. I did not protest - they could both needed rest. As I watched him lovingly carry her into the house I had a moment of pure insight - He would always take care of her, there was nothing she needed that he would not do. The thought was wonderful and oddly disturbing as I followed them in with my love at my side.

Alice and Esme were sitting at the dining room table making sure everything we needed for the funeral was set. Sue had agreed to do the eulogy I knew she would do an excellent job, just like she had done at Billy's funereal. The empty spot burned as I made the last few decisions Alice needed. I was glad she and Esme had been here to help with all the planning. I doubt I could have done it alone. They had helped with picking flowers and securing the church, coffin, and burial plot. Esme had designed and carved the headstone. It was just perfect for Charlie. I was emotionally spent and Edward and I made our way back to the cottage for some respite. The funeral would be in the morning - I just couldn't put it off any longer than that.

The morning brought grey and oppressing clouds and the smell of rain. I wondered when the rain would hit as Edward and I slowly got out of bed. This new dawn brought a further lessening of my emptiness or maybe just the ability to handle it better. I hoped the same would be true for Renesmee. We dressed for the funeral and made our way back to the house. Jake and Ness were up and eating breakfast. Everyone else was nearly ready to go.

Sleep had done both of them a great deal of good. Renesmee smiled when she saw us, the first smile since their return.

"You seem to be doing better," I observed.

"Yea, sleep always helps put things in a better light. It just came as such a shock to me."

"It was a shock to me, too."

"Alice told us what happened during the game." She looked at me expectantly.

I told Renemsee about talking to Charlie. I told her all the things that were explained to him and his reactions. She seemed to relax when I told her he had already figured out what she was. I told her about his death, the slowing of the heart beats and how he died without pain.

Tears rolled down Jake and Renesmee's faces as I spoke. Edward held on to me. While it was difficult to talk about, the act was amazingly healing. The emptiness decreased as never before. I didn't realize I hadn't told anyone what had really happened in the hospital room. When I finished, Renesmee got up and gave me a hug.

"Thank you for telling us everything, Mom, and, for thinking to tell Grandpa everything. I'm glad he finally got to know."

"So am I…"

The four of us and Esme took the Volvo, and everyone else followed in Carlisle's Mercedes. When we arrived at the church, the citizens of Forks were lining up to see Charlie one last time. We joined them.

Quiet organ music filled the church; a comforting smell permeated the air. It must have come from the flowers; Alice was a genius when it came to flowers. However, I didn't spend any time looking at them. At first, I didn't really look at anything; just the back of Jake's navy suit. When we came to the coffin, I looked down at my beloved father. Emotion swelled in my chest, sadness, joy, loss, but most of all love. His face was peaceful with a smile playing at the edge of his lips. I couldn't help but know that he was happy where he was right now. I, briefly, wondered if you could go fishing in heaven. Jake held on to Renesmee and Edward held on to me as we gazed into the coffin, each of our hearts reaching out with final goodbyes. Tears trailed down Jake and Renesmee's cheeks; they cried the tears we could not.

The four of us stood back and watched the good people of Forks bid farewell to the Chief. Tears were not uncommon this day. The vampires here were some of the few with dry eyes. I kept my head down because I didn't want people to think of me as uncaring when I did not cry for my father. If only they knew how badly I wanted to cry and how my eyes stung but the tears would never come.

I learned a great deal about my father during the service. The stories that were told he would never have told himself. Charlie had found several children lost in the woods, each on a different occasion. He had saved lives by checking in on different senior citizens in the area. Each story warmed my heart and tears of gratitude were spilt by each speaker. He, truly, was an important part of this community.

I held Renesme's hand through the service. I could feel her silent sobs and my heart ached for her. Jake had his arm around her the whole time providing comfort as only he could.

The services ended and we followed the funeral procession to the Forks Cemetery. Carlisle conducted a very short service for family and close friends at the cemetery and then my father was buried. The headstone Esme had made was beautiful with a scene of a fisherman. Charlie's full name and the years of his birth and death were engraved into the river. Under the scene it simply said gone fishin'. It fit him perfectly.

Edward and I stood looking on, holding each other tightly. The Cullen's and the wolves were all there in a tight group with us. Time seamed to stop, in that moment we mourned together. The pain, sorrow and love hung around us like a thick fog. Tears streamed from every mortal eye; sobs ripped through every chest. The sky joined us in our sorrow and even though the rain poured, we still did not move. The rain ran down my face, and despite the fact that it was not the tears I longed for the sensation was much the same. I could feel each drop run down my face, the stinging in my eyes calmed, each trickle carried with it a salve that soothed the wounds within. We were all soaked to the skin when the rain decreased to a slow drizzle. It was as if the clouds had declared the end to this gathering and everyone quietly made their way back to their vehicles.

Jake and Renesmee decided to go to the reservation with Sue. Alice and Jasper climbed into the Volvo with us. After a moment, Alice spoke quietly.

"I know you've decided to sell the house. I'll help you clean it up."

"Thank you."

With that, we had a quiet ride home. I was ready for a hot shower and some quiet time with Edward. The house could wait for tomorrow.

Author notes:

Please show some love and reveiw.... I know you are reading it, my numbers are larger than I ever imagined they'd be so just let me know what you think. Please.