silence—excruciating in my earssilence—amplifying all my fearssilence—it's real, it's there, it waits for mesilence—i am swallowed whole
"mommy I don't want to go."
She juggled Cynthia to the other side and finished wiping her face free of lunch.
"but mommy."
"sweetie." frustration showed through her voice. "go play somewhere else. Cynthia needs a bath."
" why bother." I muttered somewhat defiantly. "she is juts going to play in the mud."
My mom got that look.
"what have I told you?" I cringed.
"sorry." it came out a whisper.
"go get ready I want you to look presentable."
……………………………….......
…………………………….................5 years later………………………..
nine year old Marie wondered through the woods. Her high necked dress catching on a bush every once and a while. She had taken to walking through the woods. Cynthia was the golden child and she was a freak. Her mom kinda hated her. She thought Marie should keep her mouth closed around company.
All she had done was tell Mr. Miller that he shouldn't worry to much about the cup he was going to drop. Now her mother had spent all her time between keeping Cynthia away from her and shut in her study with her father writing letters she was not supposed to see.
Today she had gone to her thinking spot. Her notebook clutched tightly in her arms. Today she had seen a face. This was totally new. Mostly she just knew things but today she had seen it. She knew without a doubt a set of events had been set in motion that would lead her to his arms.
Pale skin with blondish hair. Crimson eyes . Hers.
She hummed a little. She had also seen a bunch of others. A beautiful blonde, a muscled boy, a caramel haired lady with loving eyes, a blonde haired man with gentle caring eyes. A sad eyed boy with bonze wind tousled hair. His eyes changed when a pale form had drifted to his side. Long brown hair and warm brown eyes. They brought about strange emotions in her.
Her mother saw her coming out if the woods.
"Marie honey. C'mon" Marie went willingly into her mothers arms. They turned vice like as a strange man in a white coat tore her folder away. Another stepped forward a white object in his arms. Between them they forced the wiggling girl into the overlarge coat. once she was inside they tightened the straps, securing her arms to her side.
A straight jacket.
"mommy." she screamed, confusion and pain in her voice. She saw her mother with Cynthia in her arms. Turned away form her and her plight. Her father watched, stony faced.
"daddy?" her terrified whisper brought him forward a step. He stiffened. One of the men pulled out a needle and she was drifting, melting away.
silence—excruciating in my ears
A kind nurse wiped tears away.
"it's ok honey they won't hurt you. They are here to help."
"they have needles that make me feel funny." she whispered in a horrified voice.
"just relax." He nurse helped her sit up. She held up her limp body as another nurse came in.
Tears started pouring when she saw what was in the nurses hands. Scissors. Her hair. She liked it, she had carefully grown it out. She watched it fall away. Her head felt to light. She cried again. Eventually she slept.
silence—amplifying all my fears
She shivered. Cold, lying in her now familiar room. It was tiny with just enough room for her tiny bolted down bed, with no blanket. A bolted down chair for visitor that would never come.
They hadn't not in the eight years since she had come. The only people she ever saw were the nurses. And the cold doctor. He was nice always making sure she heard a human voice once in a while. He took her outside into the small courtyard. it was gray stone but still it was nice to see the sun and feel the wind in her too short hair.
He came to her every day. She had long since forgotten the feel of her mothers hand or her sisters soft giggle. Her fathers voice was gone her world was darkness now. Darkness in the padded room.
silence—it's real, it's there, it waits for me
The doctor didn't come for a few days and this worried Marie. her cold nurse came though and he reminded her of the doctor. Then one night the doctor showed up and took her out into the open, running so fast she thought her mind had finally cracked. His arms were marble and soon she noticed he was slowing.
"don't worry Ms. Brandon. I will protect you." he set her down, his arms caring. Another face flashed in her mind as he set her down. The pale faced boy that belonged to her. Their faces matched somehow. Both beautiful and pale. He looked around worried then leaned toward her. His cold marble lips caressed her throat. She leaned into his arms. Razor sharp teeth bit down. She cried out. He through her back. She hit the ground. Fire blossomed from her neck and she fell into them. Losing herself deep in the flames.
silence—i am swallowed whole