Disclaimer: We don't own the characters, SM does. But if we did……
Jasper POV
"Are
you going to finish your story? Or are you just goin' to stare at
me some more?"
"Sorry I got distracted..Your eyes are so.."
"
I guess I'll finish the story then..."
I was upset that you left. Your emotions were in turmoil, for the first time in my existence I didn't know how someone felt. I was ready to leave, leave the Cullen's, this lifestyle...leave everything all because it reminded me of you. I didn't know what I could do to rectify this, to make everything the way they were again. That's before I knew you'd spent the last 36 years of knowing me hiding your love for me.
"What
do you mean for you? I always loved you"
"I know that now, but
back then, I wasn't so sure. I knew you loved someone, I just never
dreamed..sorry...wished
it was me"
"Awww..that's…"
"Yeah"
I spent hours in the forest, waiting for you. Hoping that you'd come back and tell me everything will be okay again. I felt my dead heart break; something I didn't imagine could happen until then. I knew it was a stupid risk to take, to tell you I loved you. To even be in love with you was reckless enough. Even though your emotions were in turmoil, I sensed one. One emotion stood out from the rest for me, one that killed me, metaphorically of course. I felt hatred, I was foolish and self centred enough to believe that that hatred was centred on me.
"It
wasn't on you Jasper, it was all on me. I hated myself for not
being brave enough to tell you I loved you too, for not closing the
gap between us and actually physically showing you how I loved you,
'cause I do and I did"
Jasper smiled at this, stroking his
lovers hair "I know Edward, I know"
Then you came back, your hair was wet, your clothes like a second skin sticking to your body and my body...well it ached to be with yours, to close the distance between us and warm you, even though my body was too cold and your body wasn't affected by it. We stood in the clearing, never breaking eye contact, not a sound, just us.
"Sounds
nice doesn't it? Us?"
"Even after all this time Edward. It's
still nice we're an 'Us'"
"I'd only ever want to be an
'us' with you"
"And you call me gay..."
"Way to
ruin the moment Jazz"
This time, I could feel your emotions, you were calm, and you were at peace. The hatred was gone; there wasn't even a trace of it ever being there. This time, the one emotion that stood out the most was love. You grinned at my confused thoughts with that outstanding grin that I was constantly stunned by.
"I remember your thoughts quite vividly actually Jasper, you thought I'd come to tell you that I loved another, and that I wasn't that angry you loved me, but we could never be. You are always so hard upon yourself. It's a blessing for you that I'm here to be so easy on you"
Then you did something completely unexpected by me, you uttered the three most important words to me that seemed to melt away everything in existence apart from me and you...us. You fixed my shattered heart and I could of sworn blood pumped through my veins once again. I remember thinking that if I could have cried I would have been doing so. Looking back it was unrealistic of me to not realise it was love for me you felt. I suppose even vampires minds can get a little crazy when you tell someone you love them and they run away.
"You've
still not 100% forgiven me for that, have you Jasper?"
"Forgiven
yes, forgotten nope. I am a vampire after all Darlin'"
After that, I'm not sure what happened, I just remember lying here, how we are now, telling each other how we loved each other. Even with a vampiric mind, that moment still doesn't feel real.
"And
being with you now, I still have to pinch myself to make sure I don't
wake, in the infirmary back in 1863"
"Jasper, I am real. What
we feel is real, the love and the adoration is real. And anyway, when
your touching me, kissing me....making me moan your name over and
over while you su...."
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Don't
you go down that smutty road in your brain?"
"Maybe I should
do just
that..."