Firefly: A Good Deal
"Any more ideas on selling off the Lassiter?" Wash asked Mal.
'Not so sure. Badger's not going to touch it. Can't think of anyone who would."
"It's a little hard carrying around cargo like that, on top of our fug…"
Lizzy walked into the dining area, causing the two to stop talking. She grinned as she walked into the small kitchen. "Sorry to interrupt any of your business-talk."
"We're just discussing our next destination."
"To sell the goods that you didn't get to sell to Patience?"
"Yes."
"Well, no matter the merchandise… best move is to Mooney on Beaumonde."
"Mooney?" asked Wash. "Glorious name."
"He's from Dyton Colony, but yeah, funny name. On my last ship, Mooney was the best fence we ever had, or, er – merchant, we ever had." She opened the canister she had been carrying, pouring peaches into a bowl.
Wash gazed longingly at the juicy peaches.
"You say this Mooney will take any goods? Even – high profile goods?" asked Mal.
"With the right persuasion. If you want to try him, I could lend a hand." She held the bowl out to the two. "Care for a slice?"
"Oh… thank you," Wash grinned as he took a slice.
"How much of a cut are you looking for?" Mal asked, ignoring the peaches.
"I'm good with what I got from Patience, but uh, if I can pull this job off for you, I'd like to become a part of your crew." She lifted the bowl closer to Mal and arched her eyebrows.
"We'll see." He took a slice of peach and walked away to the brig.
"So who are the peaches for?" Wash asked, staring at the bowl.
"Mostly me. My comfort food… I'm spoiled, I know."
River walked into the room but stopped and stared at Lizzy. "They always come for you…" she mumbled, walking closer to the two. "They come for you and eat your insides. Fangs and teeth!" she shouted as she tore the label off the peach canister.
Lizzy handed Wash the bowl. "River!" She ran over to the girl, pulling her away from other cans.
"River! Hey don't touch her!" Simon shouted as he ran in with Kaylee.
Simon pulled his thrashing sister away from Lizzy. "River… River…" Lizzy said, staring at the girl.
"What happened?" Simon asked.
"We were talking peaches, your sister walked in, and then BAM! She's tearing off peach labels and shouting…"
"River honey…" Kaylee started.
"They always come for you?" Lizzy asked River. "They come for you and eat your insides?"
The girl shook her head fiercely as Simon held her. He looked at his sister then Lizzy. "Come on River. Let's go get your medicine." He led her away.
"What happened to her?" Lizzy asked Kaylee.
"Um…" Kaylee glanced at the doorway.
"Something to her brain," Jayne said as he walked in. "Some Alliance guys cut up her brain. I saw the doctor examine her at Ariel." He grabbed a peach slice from the bowl Wash was still holding.
"They cut up her brain?" Lizzy repeated, her face grotesque. "They ate her insides…"
"What happened here?" Jayne asked.
"Do I have to repeat the story everytime?" Wash asked.
"No," Lizzy sighed, grabbing her peach bowl from him. "Come on Jayne, I have some… peaches… for you."
He grinned. "Alright."
Lizzy sat on the bed in front of Jayne, feeding him peaches. "You said the girl was crazy. What has she done?"
"She sliced me across the chest with a butcher knife."
"Before or after you tried to turn her in?"
"How do you…"
"I'm a good guesser." She stroked his cheek and fed him another slice of peach. "Before or after?"
"Before."
"She either knew you would or…"
"Are you running a crime investigation?" he joked.
"I failed my brother. I couldn't fix him. What happened to him, that was war. I can only blame war. No person, no group." She shook her head. "But a group, a sadistic group screwed that girl up. And she, she's special."
Jayne frowned. "You just met her…"
"I know. I… Maybe I'll explain it, sometime. I think we have a few other things to deal with." She sat the bowl next to his bunk and crawled up to him. "Like, becoming more than strangers."
"Now you're talking girl."
They began kissing, her hand crawling up his shirt.
"Lizzy, we need you at the brig," announced Mal over the inter-comm.
"Hwoon dahn1!" yelled Jayne.
"It's okay." She nibbled his ear. "My sister trained to become a Companion. I know a few tricks that'll make your wait worth it."
He grunted as she crawled up his ladder.
Lizzy walked into the brig. "What did ya need Captain?"
"I want you to contact Mooney, make me a meeting with him…"
She laughed. "Make you a meeting? You mean us."
Mal stared at her. "I mean me."
"Mooney doesn't like strangers. The only way he'll take new clients is by them being with an old familiar. That means you- and me."
Mal looked at Zoe. "Go for it. I'm ready to get it off our hands."
He nodded. "Tell him we have something very much worth his while."
"Can I know what…"
"No."
"Okay then." She walked over to Wash and dialed Mooney.
A surprisingly clean face appeared over the comm.-screen. "Look at that! Lady Cagen. Didn't expect you to be calling from a Firefly."
"Different crew Mooney. This one is carrying some juicy cargo they'd like to trade you."
"Hopefully it's the juicy cargo I'm talking to."
"You flatter me."
Mooney laughed. "I'll be expecting your arrival Lizane."
"We'll be there soon Mooney."
The comm.-screen went black, and she turned back to Mal. "Good job," he said. "Zoe, get ready to go. Get Jayne ready…"
"Jayne? Jayne's coming with us?" Lizzy asked.
"I'd like some protection for our juicy cargo."
Lizzy walked away. "I have to get ready to see Mooney."
Lizzy led Mal, Zoe, and Jayne into Mooney's building on Beaumonde. Her dusty black hat and trench coat covered her from head to toe, and the others wondered if this was the actual Lizane Cagen or not.
"(in Chinese) I'm here to see the boss," she told the doorman.
"Of course Mis Cagen."
They were allowed entrance into a narrow hallway. "Glad to see I'm still appreciated around her," she mumbled, entering the door at the end of the hall.
"Dia duit álainn2!" shouted Mooney as he stood from his desk, arms extended for a hug from Lizzy.
"What the hell language is that?" Mal whispered to Zoe.
"I've never heard it before, sir."
"Iontach, anois.3" She kissed the man's cheek as they hugged.
Jayne tensed up, caressing the handle of his knife.
"It's no reason to kill the man," Mal whispered to him.
"So these are you new crewmembers?" Mooney asked, looking the three over.
"Yes, this is my Captain…"
"Malcom Reynolds," he introduced himself.
"Hm." Mooney looked him over. "Browncoat?"
Mal glanced at Lizzy who nodded her head. "Yes sir," Mal answered.
"Good, good. Don't like the Alliance types." He glanced at Zoe and Jayne then turned his attention back to Lizzy. "Alright Lizane, let's finish their little transaction so we can discuss some things. What do you have for me Captain Reynolds?"
"A little piece called the Lassiter."
Mooney coughed in surprise. "What? That thing has been all over the reports; hot stuff."
"And that's why we're getting a little tired of holding on to it."
The middle-man looked at Lizzy who smiled, taking off her hat. Jayne bit his lip as he noted the long curls that poured out from the hat; the dark eyeliner and pink lips that made her look like a lady and not a mercenary. Mooney smiled. "And how much are you asking for this?"
"One hundred thousand platinum."
He closed his eyes. "Lizane?"
"Tá cuma mhaith ar sin4," she answered.
"Cá mhéad atá agat air Patience5?"
She smiled as the Captain looked questionably at her at the mentioning of 'Patience'. "Dó céad mile6."
Mooney grinned largely. "Sounds like we have a deal Captain! Show me the goods." He opened a drawer of his desk, putting in a key-combo on his safe.
Mal pulled the Lassiter out of his coat pocket. "How about we see the money?"
Mooney grabbed two pouches from the safe and closed it. "Here you go, two pouches of fifty thousand platinum. You can count it; it's all there Captain." He tossed the pouch to Jayne, and Mal handed the Lassiter to him. "And if you would like, you can step right outside my office to count. I need to speak with Lizane for a bit."
"I'll be right there," Lizzy added to affirm her belief that the three should step outside.
"Alright, but don't take long," Mal reminded her.
Jayne glared at Mooney and followed his captain and first mate out.
"Maraíonn tú Patience?7" he asked Lizzy.
She nodded. "Is ea8."
"That's a good girl. What happened to the rest of the crew?"
"Ambush. Patience's men while I was out scouting her homestead."
"Well done Captain. Not only did you succeed your mission, but you get to keep the goods all to yourself."
Lizzy smiled. "Thank you. It wasn't really my intention that they die."
"You just have good luck." He walked behind her, pulling off her trench coat and revealing a tank top and short shorts. Knives were strapped to her upper arms and legs. One large blade was strapped to her right calf. "Strapped for a battle as usual too."
"You know I don't have time for your pleasure right now Mooney."
"I see that. Crew waiting on you. And I'm surprised by you. Taking orders from another Captain. That's unlike you."
"He served with my brother in the war."
Mooney walked to a closet in his office, pulling out a postal box. "Your usual shipment with a neat little letter."
She pulled her trench coat back on and took the box from him.
"And your money of course. 50,000 platinum. Funny what one life is worth."
"Depends on the life you lead," she replied, slipping the money pouch into her inside pocket.
"What do you say my life is worth?" he asked her, running his fingers through her hair.
"I'd probably kill you for 400,000 credits."
He grinned. "I'm sure you would. Luckily no one is going to spend that amount except the Alliance. And I know you'd never accept Alliance credits for my life."
"You know me too well Mooney." She kissed his cheek, put her hat back on, and walked out the door.
"What's in the box?" Mal asked as they left the building.
"A package I ordered from Mooney awhile back. Nearly forgot about it."
"Why did you two have to speak in private about a package?" Zoe asked cynically.
"Because if you haven't noticed, Mooney has a way of flirting with me. He wants me to settle down and become his wife; too bad that'll never happen for him."
"What language…"
"Gaelic." She spun around. "Twenty questions over or should we sit down and have a real good time of it?"
"Watch yourself," Zoe answered. "You're still the new girl."
"Even if you are a crewmember," Mal added.
Lizzy padlocked her room from the inside and turned to her postal box. "Alright…" she whispered as she opened it. "That's just beautiful."
Jayne sat on his bunk, with his bright orange wool hat on, staring at the shirt River had cut the day she went crazy on him. "I liked this shirt…" He grabbed some electrical tape from his supplies and began taping it up from the inside. "Not gonna let that little brat ruin a perfectly good shirt…"
"Jayne?"
He glanced up at the feet descending the ladder. "Hey hey pretty lady. Finish playing with the new toys of your shipment?"
Lizzy smiled. "I wouldn't call them toys. What do you think?" She held her wrist out to Jayne's nose. "Well come on. Smell it."
He sniffed her wrist. "Shun-sheng duh gao-wahn9."
"Not quite the reaction I was expecting. I'm hoping it doesn't smell like that…"
He laughed. "No… well, I haven't smelled a holy… No. It's just, nice."
"My shipment is kind of a 'girlie' shipment. It's what Nandi used to order and get when we lived together. I just put a 'two' on her order and changed the shipping address to Mooney's place."
"So you whored yourself up for me?"
"Bi Zuei10!" she joked and kissed his cheek.
"You know you didn't have to. You earned me 10,000 today. I'd do anything for ya even if you were covered in engine grease."
"I'll have to remember that." She untied her robe, revealing the nightgown underneath.
Jayne grinned and pressed the button to lock his door. "Bout time we got to be more than strangers."
1 Bastard!
2 How are you, beautiful?
3 Wonderful, now.
4 That sounds good.
5 How much did they charge Patience?
6 200,000.
7 Did you kill Patience?
8 Yes.
9 Holy testicle.
10 Shut up!