Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight -SM does

JPOV

Edward's face was etched with a look of confusion. He was radiating it so much I momentarily got confused myself"Is it bad?" Edward rasped, a look of fear washing over his perfect features, eradicating the earlier confusion.

I sheepishly looked down, how was I going to tell him this? Would it hurt him? Anger him? I didn't want to risk us. I slowly clapped myself in my head. Me and my big mouth...way to go Jasper.

"Jazz..." Edward spoke, interrupting my thoughts. "Tell me, your thoughts are scaring me."

"Remember that I was in the Civil War?" I looked down once more my shoes suddenly got interesting.

"Yes Jazz, of course I remember" Edward rolled his eyes at me "You go on about it all the time and you almost got us thrown out of school that one time when we were studying it in history just because the teacher said the south were cry babies"

I physically flinched at this and sent a wave of anger towards him. Edward chuckled and held his hands up in front of him in mock surrender, his face suddenly clouded with seriousness.

"Hey mister, don't think I've forgotten you were telling me something, now stop thinking how you can show me that not all the south were cry babies, tempting as it might be, I want to know your secret Major Whitlock"

Curse you Cullen I thought, purposely lacing my thoughts with playful acid. I guess there is no way to get out of this.

I entered the confederate army at a mere 17, I suppose back then I was naive, young and wanting to be grown up. Everyone assumed I was 20; they didn't really care how I old I really was, I was willing to fight for their cause; I was just one more body to dig a hole for. I soon regretted my decision not long after I enrolled, many of my comrades died while I survived, climbing the ranks with my charisma. Eventually I made it to Major, not an easy feat let me tell you that. I was given control over a small number of soldiers, some only a few year older than myself. We were settled for the night in some location that eludes my memory, the higher ranks, like I had tents, while the lower ranks slept beneath the stars. I remember that night being remarkably cold, and thanking the lord I was of the lucky few to have a tent. That's when a man, a year older than myself and fairly new to the troop entered my tent.

"I hope that's not a pun for something..." Edward spoke apprehensively "Shut up and listen, you'll find out in time"

He was around 6'2"; muscular body covered with tanned skin, his hair was rich ebony that fell into his piercing cyan eyes. His usually clean shaven face was shadowed with stubble and his eyes betrayed nothing of what he was feeling. I was usually rather well attuned to a person's emotions something I fetched with me into this existence, however enhanced like everything else, but this solider I could not. This intrigued me, he intrigued me, I offered him a seat, and I could tell he wanted to talk. Many of the soldiers came to me to talk; I listened and never shared my woes, this they appreciated. I asked his name and he told me it was Elijah, I asked him if he wanted to talk and I was utterly dumbfounded when he shook his head and said "You talk, you never get to talk, you only listen." I laughed, no one had wanted to listen to me, they obeyed my orders but that was it, I was the one who listened to them. I pressed again

"You entered my tent, Elijah. You talk." He laughed at me this time and leaned into my face, I couldn't take my eyes from his. It felt as though he was looking into the core of my being. He whispered to me "I have my ways to make you talk...Major." Here was this young handsome man, in my tent making, what was obvious to a blind man, a move on me. I'll spare you the details as I know it'd only upset you.

"You mean you had sex with him?" Edward looked at me, his beautiful eyes wide. I nodded, wanting to continue my story to explain to him that this meant nothing, that he was my world.

When I woke in the morning, he was nowhere in sight. I could say I wasn't surprised, homosexuality was frowned upon in those days. I resumed in getting dressed and carried on with my day to day happenings not seeing Elijah again. This was until night time came around and yet again, I had a tent. He entered and I once more told him to sit. This time Elijah spoke first, "Again Jasper talk to me. I can feel your tension; it's almost like your radiating it. I thought that last night relieved some, that perhaps I was helping you while also helping myself. I provided you with some relief from your tension and you provided me with warmth, and now I'm back, not for warmth but the tension only momentarily dispersed after last night. So talk Major, you need to."

And I did, I told him how I missed my family, how I missed everything about my home. How I lied about my age, how I've always thought I was bisexual, everything. And then I let him share my bed. This pattern continued, we either fucked or talked, him always sleeping in my tent. One evening, however Elijah never showed up. We'd just been in battle and many men were lost, I panicked, had the one person who cared about me in during this time died? I searched for him for days, I left my army, my position, my rank to find him but never did. That's when I met Marie and that's when I became a vampire, you know my story from there.

"So you never found him?" Edward asked, his voice laced with concern. "I looked for a while, in my vampire form but never came across him" I replied finally meeting Edwards gaze. "I heard from a soldier, who knew us both, apparently he fled the army while we were in battle. I never understood why he never told me he was leaving, I felt deserted for a while but then I accepted that it was something he needed. I'm sorry for not telling you about Elijah, I just didn't know how you'd react."Edward gave me a small smile and kissed my knuckles. "Jasper, I've always known you had a past and I accept that, I've accepted everything about you, I know it wasn't anything serious I saw how you felt about him in your mind and I can understand that it was purely an arrangement to supply both your need, you cared for him, but not like you care for me. What you and I have is entirely different, you are my need and I yours."

I grinned up at my lover, I'm constantly amazed at the way he accepts me, flaws and everything. And he was right, I needed him, I needed him like a human needs air, like the earth needed sun, and like he needed me. And I also knew by the shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face at this current moment that he'd been listening to my thoughts and had heard everything.

"Jasper...I never knew you were so eloquent with your words" He smirked, storing away my moment of adoration for it to be used against me at a later date. I'll show him exactly how eloquent I can be I thought while crouching into an attack crouch as he did the same.

"Maybe beating you will relieve some tension" I quipped smugly just before he pounced...

AN: this chapter was written by MyLittlePonyGirl. Please Read and review J