Firefly: Shotglass
Lizzy opened her eyes, noting the lights were still on in Jayne's bedroom. He lay next to her on his stomach, facing away and snoring loudly. She smiled and was about to flip to her other side to cuddle next to him, but she saw the shirt he had been taping up. "That's a little strange," she whispered. She slipped on her robe and walked over to the shirt. Aside from the electrical tape, it had a slice through it, much like from a knife.
The snoring stopped. "What you doing?" he asked groggily.
"I was going to turn off the lights until I saw your handy work. What happened?"
"Eh, it's the shirt I was wearing when River sliced me."
She glanced back at the shirt. "Blue Sun. Maybe she doesn't like the brand. Or maybe she just doesn't like big sexy men." She dropped the shirt back down and walked to the lights while Jayne rolled back on his back, a goofy smile plastered on his face.
"Knock, knock," Mal announced as he walked into Inara's shuttle.
She glanced up. "We haven't spoken in awhile."
"Well I was busy being a petty thief."
"Again, Mal, I didn't mean that…"
"No, it's alright. Hell if I was anything more than a petty thief, I'd have Alliance constantly riding my ass." He sat on her couch.
"Were you able to sell off the Lassiter?"
"Yeah. Yeah. I have your cut."
"My cut?"
"Well you did help procure it." He tossed her a small pouch of platinum. "I know it's not the credits you're used to…"
"Thank you."
"Well uh," he stood up, wiping his hands on his pants, "we're making our way to Persephone again."
"Badger has more work for you, or are you just anxious for another swordfight?"
"Oh you know me, I just love a fight." He left the shuttle.
"So what's this new deal we got?" Jayne asked as he barged into the dining room.
Mal was staring at the shotglass in front of him.
"Hey Captain…" Jayne gave him a confused look. "What the hell's wrong with you?"
"Can't a man enjoy his whiskey in peace?"
"It's better when you share it."
"Like hell it is. You're not getting any."
The mercenary shrugged his shoulders. "Got my own anyway."
"So we're heading to Persephone?" Lizzy asked as she bounded into the kitchen. She slid over to Jayne. "Bao bay," she whispered and kissed his cheek.
"Wuh de ma!" Mal shouted, grabbing his whiskey bottle and shotglass. He stormed out of the dining room, bumping into Kaylee.
"Hey…" she started, but stopped as Mal completely ignored her. "Well that was weird."
"What did I say?" Lizzy asked, turning to Jayne.
"Beats me. He's drunk."
"Oh we're heading to Persephone," Kaylee happily exclaimed. "I wonder if I'll get to go to another ball!" She swung around, dancing with the air. "Their buffets are amazing."
Lizzy smiled. "I'm jealous of you Kaylee; I've always wanted to go to a Persephone ball."
The mechanic blushed. "You grew up on Sihnon; I'm sure there were always parties…"
"There were but, not everyone was invited." She turned to Jayne as he fixed his food, placing her hands on his sides. "So what are you buying me on Persephone?"
"Does anyone know what kind of medical treatment they have on Persephone?" Simon asked as he entered the room.
"Why, what's wrong?" Kaylee asked.
He sat next to her at the table. "I was just wondering what medical supplies they had. There's a drug I want to try on River that might help, but we don't have any. I thought we got it on Ariel, but…" He glanced up at Jayne and Lizzy who were whispering to each other, laughing, and kissing each other with little pecks. "I know I haven't been getting much sleep, but I didn't think delusions came about so rapidly."
"Oh I think it's kind of sweet," Kaylee argued. "It's like this really big old grizzly bear finally find that cute little misses-bear."
"What do you want from Persephone?" Jayne whispered.
"I was just kidding. I'm a big girl, I don't need a gift."
"I think you do."
Lizzy blushed. "I… I'll have to get you something."
"You remember at Canton, how I felt the madness?" Simon asked Kaylee. "I am definitely feeling that again."
"It's amazing that Jayne, someone you said had no social-graces can be a romantic while you can't," Kaylee finally blurted, walking away to the engine room.
Simon stared wide-eyed at the table.
"You said I had no social-graces?" Jayne asked, his attention fully diverted to Simon.
The doctor slipped away from the table, very quickly.
"Surprise me," Lizzy announced as she walked toward her room.
"Surprise you?"
"On my gift. I'm not a picky person." She disappeared down the hall.
"That explains why she chose you," Wash commented as he passed through the room.
Jayne sarcastically smirked at him.
"Alright Zoe, stay with the ship, and I'll take Jayne and Liz."
"You're taking Liz sir?"
Mal grinned. "Well, these merchants seem to like her. She's hot like you but without that 'I'll-kill-you-with-my-pinky' mentality."
"I'll take that as a compliment." Zoe walked back onto the ship.
Jayne and Lizzy walked forward. "I'll take that as compliment too, sir!" she exclaimed. "Though I probably could kill quite a few with my pinky."
"Heh heh heh, that's why I like her." Jayne wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah, not that it's not nice or anything, but now's not the time to get all touchy-feely. We got a smelly man to get to." Mal walked forward into Eavesdown Docks.
"Ah, the prettier side of Persephone. Oh look, a pig!" Lizzy commented. "You just don't get muddy pigs much anymore. Well, unless you go to Dyton Colony, but it's a matter of opinion on whether they're pigs or rats."
"Now Badger is first going to want his cut of the cattle deal since we haven't been this way since then."
"Do you have his cut?" Lizzy asked.
"Yeah, happened to get the money right before the whole thing got botched."
Lizzy stopped walking for a brief moment, then quickly jumped behind Mal.
"What the…" Mal began, turning around. He noticed the man that stood on the other side of Lizzy, holding a knife as if he were about to stab Mal in the back of the neck. Instead, Lizzy held the knife with her gloved hand (though blood still trickled from her hand onto the blade).
Her other hand quickly moved up to the man's neck where she pinched a nerve. Within moments, the man fell to his knees, Lizzy still holding on to the neck. "Now that I have control of your body neck down, you can tell me who you are and what the hell you were doing."
Jayne pointed a gun to the man's head. "Or I'll blow your freakin' brains out."
Mal sighed. "Can nothing go smoothly? Really?"
The man trembled as Lizzy glared at him. "I'm just a messenger…"
"Yes, a messenger of death. So who hired you?"
"A rich man, named Atherton." His words stumbled out, fear seeping in every word.
"Atherton Wing?" Malcolm asked. "As in the son of a bitch I dueled last time I was here?"
"Yes… yes sir. He's upset about his humiliation, when you showed mercy. It labeled him as a coward. He hired me, to be on the lookout here at the docks to see if you show up again. He wants revenge."
"But obviously not in the form of another duel, like a real man," Lizzy commented. She glanced up at Mal. "You have a real knack for making friends Captain."
"What should we do with this bastard, kill him?" Jayne asked.
Lizzy smiled, scaring the assassin even more. "Send a message to your boss, Atherton Wing. Show him this knife." She thrust the knife at the guy, her blood smeared all over the blade. "Tell him in his quest for revenge, he spilled the blood of someone else, and now he's gonna pay. We duel, me and Atherton, in four hours. So he better prepare himself." She let go of his neck and pushed him back. "Go!"
He scurried off the ground and ran off.
"You think that was smart?" Mal asked. "Atherton's like this swordsman who's probably been training since our last match…"
She stared at Mal.
"Oh yeah, you play with blades all the time. See I keep forgetting these things." He walked off to Badger's place while she attempted to stop the bleeding in her hand.
"Look at that, a new face," Badger stated as he walked forward to Lizzy. "A pretty face."
"And you'll still have eyes to see this pretty face as long as you remain ten feet away from it," Lizzy told him with a slight smile.
"Oh I like her; she's feisty." He spun around to Mal. "Got my money?"
Mal tossed him the pouch of money. "Now what's the job you said you have?"
"That ol' chap Harrow likes the deal you pulled off for him last time. Seems he's taking quite a liking to you."
"You know last time you served us tea," Jayne grumbled.
Badger continued, ignoring the observation. "Anyway, the man's got another job lined up…"
"I'm not doing anymore cows…"
"Hope you weren't doing the cows to begin." Badger grinned at his own joke, but the other three said nothing. "Anyway, need you to meet with the man as he won't tell me anything up front."
"And why should you be included on this deal?"
Several clicks sounded behind them, indicating that several of Badger's men surrounded them with guns ready.
"Point taken," Mal answered.
"I guess that's why there's no cookies."
"How am I supposed to meet Harrow? It's not like he goes tromping around the docks."
"Oh he goes to all manner of social events: balls, galas, dinners, the occasional duel or two…"
Mal turned to Lizzy. "Fortunate for us."
"Eh?" Badger asked.
"We'll see to the deal Badger; you get your guns off of us."
"Deal."
"So we have about three hours to kill before the duel between Liz and Atherton," Mal told the rest of the crew back at Serenity.
"Does this mean we can go shopping?" Kaylee asked with a smile.
"Lookin' to find another dress?" Mal asked her.
"Maybe. You know my last one was adorable."
He sighed. "Everyone has leave for the next two hours. I'll stay with the ship, wait for any messengers who might come by."
"Sweet!" Wash jumped in the air. "Come along my bao bay. We have sites to see!" He took Zoe by the hand and walked away into the crowd.
"Simon, before you head out, you think you can get my hand a little patched up. It's my sword hand…" Lizzy started.
"Sure, come on to med bay."
She glanced at Jayne. "Remember? Surprise?"
He nodded his head and walked off with Kaylee.
"So what are ya going to get her?" the mechanic asked.
"I ain't got no clue."
"How bout I help ya find something pretty? And then we'll say you owe me one."
"Sure."
Kaylee laughed. "I'm impressed with you Jayne Cobb. Getting all sweet on Lizzy like that."
Jayne actually showed signs of blushing.
"So what does she like?"
"Knives, swords…"
"Besides weapons."
"Uh… she has a little guitar."
"A little guitar?"
"Yeah, about this big." He held his hands up in the size of a ukulele.
Kaylee nodded her head. "So she likes music."
"I guess so." He scratched the back of his head. "I guess I don't know much…"
"Oh no Jayne! Music is a really good direction!" She pointed at a nearby store. "See, over there is a little shop with instruments. I bet there's something cute in there you can get her."
"So how did your hand get cut?" Simon asked Lizzy.
"Stopped a guy from stabbing Mal in the back, literally. Unfortunately I grabbed the blade and not his wrist or something. Bad timing."
"Well it's not too bad. The glove took most of the damage, which is good since you have to fight with it soon."
"I may end up switching to my left hand. Depends on how good this guy is."
"As long as you don't die."
She smiled. "I won't. Are you going to go out and do some shopping for Kaylee?"
"I was going to stay with Riv… wait, shop for Kaylee?"
"Yes, shop for Kaylee."
"Why would I…"
"I'm not blind Simon. Of course, you might be a little."
"I just… I don't know…"
"Go get her flowers. She likes flowers."
He sighed. "I have to stay with River."
"I'll stay. And Mal will be here. Does your sister like music?"
"She loves it."
"I got a ukulele she can play. It'll keep her occupied until your back. Shouldn't take you long."
"Alright… well, thanks." He finished her bandage. "I'll be back, soon."
Lizzy walked away to the passengers' rooms. "River? I have something for you."
Simon walked past Mal who sat on a crate at his open cargo bay doors. "Where's your sister?" the captain asked.
"Lizzy's watching her while I go get something…"
"Didn't think you were the type to trust a stranger with your sister."
"Yeah, but you're here. You'll stay here, right?"
Mal shrugged his shoulders. "Not my problem. You're the one who made a mistake."
"She did encourage me to leave…" Simon ran back into the ship.
Mal laughed.
"River! River!" Simon shouted.
The sound of a ukulele from Lizzy's room made him slow down; the door to the room was open and the two girls sat on the bed. River held the ukulele while Lizzy pointed out the notes. She glanced up. "That was a quick run to get flowers."
"I…"
"I'm okay Simon," River told him.
He nodded and walked back out to get Kaylee's flowers.
River turned to Lizzy. "I told you he'd come back as soon as he talked to Mal."
"You're good."
"How did you escape the academy?"
"I never went; I was never sent an offer. They must have overlooked the house because my brother was a known Browncoat. And because I was lazy in school and never showed much thought."
"And how do you block it?"
"I'm not sure; but it has to do with something I have and you don't."
River stared at the ukulele without playing it. "You should tell Simon."
"I'm not outing myself yet. I want to help you River, but I'm going to do it my way."
She laughed. "You're way? You're way! You don't even know… you escaped…" She dropped the ukulele on the bed and put her hands on her head. Before she could slip into hysteria, Lizzy reached up, putting her palm on River's brain. The girl's eyes rolled back, and she nearly fell to the floor though Lizzy caught her.
"That's an interesting technique you have there," Inara stated as she stopped in the doorway.
Lizzy frowned. "I could tell you, but it would lead to a whole mess of questions."
Inara stepped back. "What are you?"
"See, there's the first question. And then I'll say, 'same as River'. Then you'll say, 'what's that'." She gently let River down. "Then I'll say 'a psychic', and about a million questions will derive from that. So instead…" She ran over to Inara and touched her temples; the Companion fell asleep much like River. "I'm just going to have to pretend this little conversation never happened." She quickly and quietly carried Inara to her shuttle, keeping her senses open for Mal who never turned around from his seat on the crate.
Simon walked back into the passengers' area, hiding the flowers behind his back. "Lizzy? River? Kaylee isn't back yet, is she?"
"Nope," answered Lizzy, walking out from her room.
"Where's River?"
"In her bed, taking a nap. Nice flowers. She's gonna like them."
"Yeah… hey, uh, thanks for the idea…"
"Oh I just want to see Kaylee happy. She's so nice." Lizzy closed her door. "And speaking of happiness, I have to go get a big man a gun."
"A gun?"
"If you were getting a gift for Jayne, what would you get?"
"Yeah, gun or alcohol, probably the best gifts."
Lizzy nodded her head and walked away.
"Alright, two hours are up and everyone's back except Lizzy," Mal announced. "She said she'd be a little late because she left later."
"Probably out getting my gift," Jayne proudly stated with a package under his arm.
"And you're fine with her being late?" Zoe asked.
"She's the one fighting the duel."
The assassin from earlier walked forward from the masses. Mal quickly pulled out his gun, pointing at the man's head. "I mean no harm!" the man shouted, raising his hands in surrender.
"Sorry, I just get so trigger happy around guys who have tried to kill me."
"I come with a message for the girl that was with you." He held up a letter.
"Then I'll take it."
Zoe grabbed the letter and handed it to Mal. He read it with the gun still pointed at the man's head. "While it is unheard of for a woman to duel, especially against a man, Atherton Wing accepts this duel on the condition that Captain Malcolm Reynolds makes an appearance, along with his escort. The duel will be at the appointed time and place." Mal grinned. "My escort. I assume Atherton Wing meant Inara Serra?" he asked the assassin.
"Yes."
"But he didn't put that in."
The assassin shook his head. "He must have assumed…"
"Well he's yu buh dun1." Mal shook his gun. "Run off and tell him we'll be there. The girl, me, and my escort."
The assassin took off.
"Kaylee, go put your dress on."
Kaylee grinned. "It's about time."
"There won't be a buffet at this one."
"That's okay Cap'n. There's always a bunch pretty boys at these social things." She ran into the ship.
"Alright, I'm going to get prettied up myself. Zoe, you're in charge of the ship…"
"Hey Captain, can I go with you to the duel?" Jayne asked. "I'd love to see her kill…"
"You have to wear the right clothes Jayne. Guess you can't go." Mal turned away.
"Well that's unfair. What's Lizzy gonna wear? She ain't got the right…"
Mal ignored him and continued into the ship.
Lizzy walked up to the crew still standing outside the cargo bay. "Hey gang, what did I miss?"
"Oh the usual. Mal pulls a gun; words are read. Kaylee's happy. Jayne's mad," Wash answered.
"Aw, Jayne's mad?" She turned to him with a smile. "Why?"
"I can't go to the duel because I don't have the right clothes."
"Oh that's nothing."
He followed her into the ship. "Nothing? You don't want me to be there?"
She stopped at the stairs. "Or it's an easy problem to fix. Here," she handed him one of the three packages, "take that for now and I'll give you your gift after the duel." She hurried off to her room.
He stared down at the package. "Huh."
Kaylee walked into the cargo bay in her dress where Mal and Simon waited. Simon smiled as he saw her. "Wow… why didn't I see her like this last time?"
Mal grinned. "Because you're an idiot."
"Hey boys! What do you think Cap'n? Look as good as last time?"
"Better than last time."
"Aw! That's why I love my Captain!" She kissed his cheek.
Mal glanced at Simon. The doctor cleared his throat and brought the flowers out from behind him. "I got you these."
"Simon!" She hugged him, nearly crushing the flowers.
"It's got a little pink one you can wear…" he barely said as she squeezed him.
"Wuh de ma…" Mal mumbled.
"What?" Kaylee asked as she released Simon.
The three looked up to see Jayne walking down the stairs in an outfit similar to Mal's. "Ready to go see a duel."
"Where the hell did you get those clothes?" Mal asked.
"Awww… ain't he pretty?" asked Kaylee. "Lizzy's gonna love that."
"Did Lizzy buy you those clothes?" Mal continued his questioning.
Jayne ignored Mal. "Does it fit right? Look good?" he asked Kaylee, turning around so she could see everything.
"Yeah. Wow. It fits perfectly. If she got this for you she really did well."
"So she did get those for you," Mal reaffirmed.
Jayne ignored him as he glanced up. "Wuh de ma…"
"Oh wow. She's beautiful."
"How are you supposed to duel in that?"
Lizzy stood at the top of the stairs in a pale green dress with lilac flowers printed on it. Its hoop was much smaller than the one on Kaylee's dress, but still too bulky to duel in.
"You kids ready for a fight?" She held a sheathed katana in her hand.
"Beautiful and deadly," Jayne sighed.
Kaylee smiled and glanced at Simon. He grinned at her, putting the pink flower behind her ear.
"I guess we're all ready to go," Liz told Mal.
"I assume there's a reason for Jayne going?" Mal asked.
"Any lady needs an escort. And it's not right for a gal to carry her own sword to a duel." She locked arms with Jayne and handed him the blade. The two headed out of the cargo bay.
"Let's go Cap'n!" Kaylee shouted. She handed Simon the flowers. "And I'll be back for you." She trotted after Jayne and Lizzy.
"You might want to rest up," Mal joked to Simon as he walked after Kaylee.
"You have to be joking." Atherton took off his jacket as the Firefly group walked up to the dueling ground. "When I heard a woman wanted to duel me, I was expecting a killer. A warrior. Not some belle."
Lizzy smiled. "He called me a belle Jayne!"
Mal nudged Kaylee. "There's our man Harrow; I'm going to talk to him."
"I wish they had a buffet," she sighed.
"If he has a good deal, you might get treated to a buffet."
"Cap'n…"
"Who is this?" Atherton asked, looking at Kaylee. "I said to bring…"
"My escort. Right. Here she is. Miss Kaywick Lee…"
"Where is Inara?"
"Wei!" Kaylee shouted.
"That's not nice, interrupting a lady's introduction," Mal stated. "If you're not finished off in your first duel, I'll do you in."
Atherton grinned as he eyed up Lizzy. "Then I suppose our swords will cross again."
"Pee-goo," Jayne growled. "Can we just get this duel started? I'm tired of hearing ya talk."
Mal side-stepped Atherton to make his way to Harrow.
"Good to see you again Captain, despite the circumstances. We have some business to discuss after the evening's festivities."
"I have every intention on talking business."
"You may be burying your dead."
Mal laughed. "I may have made that threat to him, but I know he won't live to see tomorrow."
"A woman in a dress beat him? Are you a betting man captain?"
"That's how I live my life."
"If your little belle beats Atherton, all my business goes directly through you."
"And if she fails?"
"I get your ship."
"Well then, I'm glad I have complete faith in Liz. I'll take the bet."
Atherton went to his gentleman and grabbed his sword. "Where's your blade little girl?"
She took her katana from Jayne and handed it to the man checking the swords.
Jayne walked over to Kaylee. "I'm hoping she can fight well in a dress."
"Oh I'm sure she wouldn't have worn it otherwise," Kaylee reassured him.
The man handed Liz and Atherton their swords. "May the duel between Atherton Wing and Lizane Cagen commence."
She held her katana flimsily in her injured right hand. "Are you just gonna stand there?"
Atherton ran forward, going for the quick kill.
She flicked her wrist, knocking away his attack. Again, she held her blade daintily. "Is that all?"
He again charged her, and the two were soon clashing steel. Liz stepped lightly, predicting her opponent's move. After five minutes of dueling, Liz finally knocked Atherton's sword away and kicked him down. "Mal may have shown you mercy, but you did not learn. (in Chinese) Now you pay."
She thrust her katana all the way through his stomach.
Kaylee gasped at the bloodied blade sticking out of Atherton's back. She turned away, burying her face in Mal's arm.
"Jien hwo2," Atherton spat out, blood oozing from his mouth.
"Liou koe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze3."
"Little filthy mouth on that one, despite her looks," Harrow observed.
"I love that filthy mouth," Jayne sighed.
Mal patted Kaylee. "Yeah, but I think that potty-mouth just won me the bet."
Lizzy twisted her wrist, causing extra damage, and pulled the blade out. Making sure not to get any blood on her dress, she bent down and wiped the blood on the grass.
"Now how about a bit of a celebration?' she asked, walking up to the others.
"You did say you'd treat me to a buffet Captain," Kaylee reminded Mal and ignoring the dead body of Atherton.
"I'm feeling pretty festive," Mal agreed.
"To Lizzy, who's blood-crazed ways won me the best steady deal ever!" toasted Mal, holding a shotglass high in the air. The entire crew sat at a large table of a Persephone buffet restaurant.
"To Lizzy!" the rest of the crew lifted their glasses.
Jayne took his shot and turned to the girl he had his arm around. "You were pretty hot in that dress with a bloody blade."
"Silly man. I'm always hot," she replied with a kiss.
"You were so thoughtful with those flowers doctor!" Kaylee exclaimed as she sat in Simon's lap, the pink flower still behind her ear. "I thought you were too snobby to think of me that way, but I was sooo wrong."
Simon grinned, equally as drunk. "I'm not snobby."
"Sure you're not."
River laughed at her drunk brother and stole a bao off his plate.
Lizzy kissed Jayne on the cheek. "I'll be right back."
Inara sat silently next to Mal, picking at her food.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I just feel strange. There's a gap of time I don't remember today, like I blacked out."
"Well I found you taking a nap. It's probably…"
"Naps don't give you a feeling of emptiness Mal."
Lizzy snuck away to the back of the restaurant and found a comm.-device. Soon Mooney answered. "Dia duit álainn."
"I finished the job."
"Atherton?"
"Yes."
"Coming by anytime?"
She shook her head. "Not sure."
"I have a new request from the Canton magistrate."
"Who?"
"Jayne Cobb."
Her jaw tensed. "Jayne Cobb?"
"Yeah, that man on your ship…"
"I know who he is. Why Jayne?" She turned to look at the laughing and celebrating man.
"Caused some problems for the man over time. Didn't get his vengeance. It's good money Lizane. Twice Atherton's rate."
"I… I'll get back to you Mooney. I have to go…" She turned off the comm and slid back into her seat next to Jayne.
"You know we never exchanged gifts," he whispered into her ear.
"We didn't."
He stroked her hair. "I think we should wait till morning. I have a different gift I want to give you tonight."
She fingered her shotglass. "And I you."
1 stupid
2 slut
3 Stupid son of a drooling harlot and a monkey.