We pile into the backseat and I give the driver my address. As we pull away, I study Ashley's profile while she looks out the window. Though it's been five years and she looks different, she's somehow exactly the same as the first day I met her. She turns to face me and flashes that trademark smile of hers. Even though we say nothing on the entire drive home, the cab is filled with both excitement and nerves. I throw the cabbie a twenty and don't ask for change as I step onto the curb in front of my building.

"This is me," I say to Ashley as the cab pulls away.

"I love this neighborhood," she comments, looking around.

"Yeah, it's really great," I agree, fishing through my bag for my keys.

We say nothing else until we get inside my apartment and the front door is closed behind us. We stand in the living room staring at each other. Feets joins us and rubs against my leg until I break my staring contest with Ashley and give him some attention.

"Is this… is this the cat that you…" she stutters.

"Yeah," I reply, shrugging. "This is Feets."

"Feets?" she asks, smiling.

I smile back and put the cat on the ground. He scampers off to the kitchen and Ashley and I are again left alone.

"We weren't really original when we named him," I offer as an explanation.

"So, do you have, like, joint custody or something?" she jokes. "Does she take him every other weekend?"

We laugh together and the tense moment passes. I tell her to make herself comfortable as I disappear into the kitchen to pour two glasses of wine. When I return, she's holding a picture from the mantle and studying the image. She looks up at me with an embarrassed look on her face, as if I've caught her doing something wrong, and I smile at her to tell her it's okay.

"That's Kate," I offer after handing her the wineglass.

"Is this the ex?" she asks, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Yeah," I say, sitting on the couch and taking a sip of wine.

"She's really beautiful," she says, and I'm not sure if she's complimenting me or Kate.

"Yeah, she is," I agree, nodding.

"You made a really pretty couple together," she says as she sets the frame down and looks at me.

"Thanks," I say.

She joins me on the couch and props her bare feet up on my coffee table.

"Do you think we'd still be together?" she asks randomly after a moment of silence. "I mean, you know, if I didn't sleep with Aiden or anything."

I laugh for a moment but realize she's being serious and quickly stifle my giggles.

"We probably still would have broken up for some reason or another," I admit honestly. "It wasn't entirely your fault, Ashley."

"I know," she says, sighing. "But I still feel like… I don't know, some days I feel like I screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me."

I set my wine glass down and turn my body towards her, cupping her face in my hands. I watch a single tear roll down her cheek and I quickly wipe it away.

"It's all in the past, remember?" I ask her gently.

"But now it's in the present," she tells me, her voice quivering. "It's happening right now, and it's real, and you're really here and… I don't want to screw this up again."

"Who says you will?" I ask. "Who says this will even go beyond tonight? I don't know what's going on with us, Ashley, and I don't know what will happen down the road, but I do know that being with you right now, in this exact moment… everything feels right, and I'm not going to think about the past and I'm not going to think about the future. All I want to think and feel and breathe is this, the right now."

She smiles at me and I hope I've given her the reassurance I need myself.

"No wonder you're a writer," she says softly.

"That's why I make the big bucks," I joke with her, smiling back.

She leans in and presses her lips to mine softly before pulling away.

"This could be a really bad idea," she tells me, as if warning me against possible death.

"Yeah," I nod. "It probably is."

Without allowing her another moment to protest, I capture her lips with mine. Though hesitant at first, the kiss quickly becomes passionate, and I savor the feeling of her hands on my skin. We slowly and patiently allow our hands to roam each other's bodies, exploring the once-familiar territory to get reacquainted. We pull away from each other for a moment, looking into each other's eyes.

"We don't have to," she whispers, her breathing labored. "I mean, we can stop, if you want…"

"Since when do you shy away from sex?" I tease her, smiling.

"Spence…" she breathes, and I know enough about this woman to quit joking.

"Talk to me," I whisper, repeating her sentiments from before.

"With you, it's never just been sex," she admits softly. "It still isn't."

"I know," I tell her, nodding as I run my fingers through her hair. "I honestly didn't think this would happen. Any of it, I mean. Running into you today, having dinner, kissing you again…"

"I always hoped it would," she confesses. "I dreamed about it and hoped for it for so long, Spence. And now that it's actually happening… I don't know if I can."

"I know it's fast," I say, trying to comfort her. "I know it's unexpected and sudden and emotional and all of that. And you're right, we don't have to do anything tonight, okay?"

"Maybe we can just slow things down a bit," she says. "You know, talk some more. There are still huge holes in the past five years that I don't know about."

"Like what?" I ask, sitting back and sipping my wine. "Anything you want to know, ask."

"Anything?" she clarifies.

"Anything," I tell her confidently.

She thinks a moment and takes another sip of wine. I study her as she ponders her next move, and I realize just how badly I want her. I force myself to calm down and take things slow, but my body craves her touch and I still haven't been able to slow my heart down since the first kiss outside of the restaurant.

"God, you're beautiful," I whisper without realizing it.

She looks into my eyes and a gentle smile appears on her face. I feel almost embarrassed for admitting my thoughts to her, but she reassures me by grabbing my hand in hers and squeezing it softly.

"Thank you," she says genuinely. "You know, you still look like you did the day we met."

"No way," I argue, shaking my head. "That was, like, eight years ago, Ash."

"I know," she says, smiling. "But beauty never changes, and you… you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever known."