Into The Fire .
"DAD !! Its Dean he's gone ". Sam's shout silenced the rampaging eldest Winchester and he stopped suddenly his mouth hanging open,
" What ?! " John stared at Sam willing his son to be playing some kind of sick joke on him, but the scared look on Sam's face told him he wasn't,
" He can't have gone ". Sam glared at his father he was certain that he was the reason that Dean had left, the two remaining Winchesters got into a shouting match each blaming the other for Deans new disappearing act.
" BOYS!! " Missouri shouted over the top of the arguing men " THIS IS NOT HELPING TO FIND DEAN !! " when she had the Winchesters attention she lowered her voice " Now, lets split up and search for him. He can't have gone far and he's protected from the demon now "
" Missouri's right. We need to all calm down and search for Dean. I'll go to the pond , Missouri you search the stables, Sam you look at the pens and John you search the barn, we'll meet back here in an hour " Jim said with his quiet calm that always seemed to still John.
" Ok, I can't loose him again Jim……I can't " Johns shoulders slumped his frame shaking with defeat and Sam felt guilty that he'd blamed their father for driving Dean away, he reached out a hand and placed it on his fathers strong arm that was shaking
" I'm sorry dad, I'm just worried "
" I am too son, we have to find him " the remaining Winchester men nodded to each other their eyes taking on that determined edge. If anyone or anything had taken Dean they would be very sorry.
John entered the barn quietly his ears listening for any sound that didn't belong there, the barn was deathly quiet and John let out a frustrated sigh running his hands through his hair, he let one shakily run across his face " Oh God Dean please be ok " he whispered
" Dad ? " the voice was quiet, Dean sleepily looked at his dad from the hay pile in the corner of the barn. He had bits of straw sticking out from his sleep tousled hair, rubbing his eyes as he had done when he was younger, John was over to his son and had him in his arms in three long strides
" Err……….dad ? Are you ok ? " he asked rather puzzled
" Thought I'd lost you "
" I was kinda tired after Missouri's mind trip so thought I'd take a trip to dreamland. Didn't mean to scare you " John pulled Dean closer to him and breathed in Deans smell. He smiled tears rolled down his cheeks Dean wrapped his arms around his dads neck
" Its ok dad, I'm ok "
" Dean never do that to me again !! You gave me a heart attack if you're going somewhere tell someone" John admonished
" Sorry " the 11 year old mumbled
" Its ok, you're ok that's all that matters ".
Dean looked at his father not sure if he should ask what was playing on his mind, in truth he had been tired but he was so scared of how his dad would react to the news that he'd been being injected with demon blood that he'd sought out solace in the barn. He could feel the fear and worry coming of his father in waves so strong he could have been in the pacific in the middle of a storm, it was this that had woken him rather than actually hearing his dad speak. He picked at his worn denim jeans his eyes downcast he didn't think he could bear to see the disappointment there he thought he was sure to find,
" So……did Missouri tell you ? " he asked quietly
" She did, Dean look at me " Dean continued to stare at his jeans, he felt to ashamed to look his father in the eyes
" Dean, please look at me " the words where so soft, so unlike his father that Dean looked up and met his fathers deep brown eyes. They where gentle and full of love
" Its not your fault son, you will always be my boy no matter what that bas…. What that thing did to you "
" But dad….I could be a demon I could hurt you or Sammy "
" No you couldn't, you have too much of your mother in you "
" But…."
" Dean, you could never hurt us anymore than I could hurt you. You're a Winchester, not a demon no matter what he did to you. You will always be a Winchester ". John had held Deans eyes with his own making sure his son understood exactly what he meant. He saw the understanding shine through in Deans jade green eyes shining back at him, the relief there was evident and it broke Johns heart just a little bit more. Dean put his arms around John once more and hugged him tightly, the hug was returned with equal gusto. " Thanks dad, does this mean we can have pizza for tea " he grinned
" Yeah, ok pizza it is " he laughed " Come on, but be warned your brother is frantic !! "
" Oh no!! " Dean groaned, John laughed at how much feeling Dean could put into those two words.
They entered the kitchen John with his hand resting on Deans shoulder protectively , Sam and Missouri where sat at the table while the Pastor was on the phone
" He was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped jeans with black converse sneakers…….Dean !!…..What ? No not you his fathers found him…yes thank you goodbye "
" Who where you talking to ? " John asked
" The police I was just placing a missing persons report "
" Sorry " Dean mumbled, the Pastor pulled Dean towards him and knelt in front of him
" No need to be sorry my boy, you're safe that's all that matters " the Pastors eyes were shining brightly as he hugged Dean,
" Dean are you alright ?, Where did you go ? " Sam was at his side now pulling him away from the Pastor and turning him to face him. Dean could feel the worry radiating off his brother but the anger he felt there also was overpowering, Dean felt like he was drowning in it but he managed to mumble out
" I'm fine, I was just in the barn I didn't go far "
" That's not the point Dean, do you realise how worried we where ? It looked like you'd been taken again. Do you know what you did to us ? To dad ? " Sam's anger was bubbling and he was gripping Dean harshly shaking him slightly
" I'm sorry " Dean said through muffled sobs tears spilling from his eyes " I didn't mean to scare anyone "
" Well you did !! " Sam spat
" Sam that's enough " John interrupted. Dean took the advantage of Sam being distracted by his dad and took of at a run for their bedroom, he slammed the door shut when he got there breathing heavily.
Didn't Sam understand, this was all too much, he could feel everything, everyone's fear, Sam's anger, the worry that Missouri and Pastor Jim were feeling. His head felt like it was in a vice and he fisted his hands into his hair " Stop, please make it stop " he pleaded, but the feelings he could feel from the others only seemed to intensify and Dean found himself on his knees his eyes shut tight trying to block out the emotions that where crashing around him.
" STOP IT !! " he screamed " I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE LEAVE ME ALONE !! " , there was a quiet knock at the door and John entered the room, the worry slammed into Dean as John came nearer
" Don't dad please, I can't take it, I can feel everything its just too much " Dean held his hand in front of him to still John in coming further forward, John stilled
" Here son drink this its ok its just holy water it'll help I promise " John offered his trembling son the glass and Dean took it with shaky hands and drank the contents of the glass. He leaned his head against the wall keeping his eyes closed
" Sammy hates me now, I could feel it "
" He doesn't hate you Dean he was scared, it was hard for him when you where gone, it was hard for all of us but your brother took it the hardest "
" I hate this, I hate being a freak I …..I just want it all to stop. Can't you make it stop…please dad " he begged John, he reached out for Dean who allowed his father to gather him into a bear hug
" You're not a freak Dean " he whispered into his hair " It'll be ok I promise, Missouri said that regular glasses of holy water will help you. It won't get rid of the empathy but it'll help you to control it. You have to start by closing doors on others peoples feelings "
" Doors ? "
" Yeah only open them when you want, each person you meet has a different door "
" You think I can do that ? "
" I know you can son, I know you can " he was gently stroking Deans hair, watching his face as his eyelids fluttered closed, Dean opened them again and looked into his dads face, he shot his father a glare
" Dad ? " he croaked
" Hmmmmmm"
" You drugged the water didn't you ? "
" Sorry kid, but you needed the rest , now go to sleep ". Dean nodded his head and relaxed into Johns embrace letting the sedative take him blissfully away, John sat cradling Dean while he slept his mind was a torrent of thoughts. His son had begged him to make it stop to end it and he was helpless,
" Oh Mary what am I going to do ? I just want to help him, but I feel like I'm letting him down, letting you down. What the hell am I supposed to do ? God I wish you where here " he felt the tears leaving their tracks down his face and had neither the thought or inclination to wipe them away. A soft knock at the door brought him from his musings, Sam entered the room and looked to his brother sleeping in his fathers arms looking a lot younger and more vulnerable than he remembered his big brother ever looking. He jutted his chin towards the sleeping form " He ok ? "
" He will be, we all will be. He thinks you hate him " John said turning his eyes to his son, Sam's mouth fell open in shock
" Why would he think that ? "
" When you where talking to him after I brought him in after finding him in the barn he said he felt it, he felt that you hated him "
" I don't hate him dad " Sam scuffed his sneaker against the thread worn carpet " I was scared to death, I hate what that demon has done to our family, I hate that we don't have a mom, that you don't have a wife but I could never hate Dean he's my brother "
" I know son, but I think he needs to hear that from you ".
Sam nodded and came further into the room holding out his arms for Dean
" Its ok dad I got him, Why don't you go get sleep yourself you look beat "
" Yeah ok " he handed Dean over knowing that Sam needed to feel close to his brother. The boys had always been close, connected even Sam had often said he'd dreamn't of his brother when he had been younger. Dreams where he'd seen his brother in a bright white room lain out on a bed, sometimes they'd talked but the dreams had faded the older he'd got and John had thought it was a child's way of dealing with grief so had ignored his youngest son when he'd told them that Dean was in a hospital and needed them to save him. Now he wished he'd listened and maybe they could have avoided all this mess that seemed to just be growing worse as the years went on. John could only hope that things would now start to get back to normal, well as normal as things could get for the Winchesters. He wandered to his room with bleary eyes he hadn't realised just how tired he was, he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow and fell into a fitful sleep.
It took him a few minutes to realise that he must be dreaming, he was stood outside a house that was once white but now had soot smothered over its surface. The window frames held no glass and burnt curtains hung in the frames. A twisted tree stood in the front yard that had dead grass all around it , he suddenly realised where he was. It was the house where he had lost his life, his Mary. John took a step back and tried to take in a breath but it was stuck in his throat and he found himself struggling to breathe. He finally managed to take in a strangled struggled breath and continued to stare at the house. It had been years since he'd dreamt of the former Winchester home and he didn't want to start again now. He closed his eyes willing himself to wake up but when he opened his eyes the house was still there the sky above darkening so John took steps forward on leaden legs and entered the house.
" Ok, I'm here what do you want ? "
" I'm sorry John " it was a voice he hadn't heard in 16 years, but he knew it. He felt the tears prick his eyes afraid to turn around to face that voice. He felt the feather light touch on his back, it traced upwards to his shoulder and rested there, he took a slow steady breath and released it then turned around, she looked as beautiful as the day he first met her. She smiled tenderly at him and he felt the tears come freely now they flowed down his cheeks and he didn't wipe them away.
" Mary ? Is that really you ? "
" Yes John it is "
" Mary " she wrapped her arms around him he pulled her into his arms, she felt solied, real, whole, but he knew she wasn't knew that this was just a dream and when he woke up he would be alone. He breathed her in, she smelt of jasmine and daisies
" John I don't have much time you have to listen to me "
" Mary, is it true ? That you're a…………..you're a…….a.." he just couldn't bring himself to complete the question, even though he'd seen it for himself all those years ago he needed to hear it from her. She nodded, her beautiful face looked so sad those jade green eyes that Dean had inherited where so full of sadness, of regret a lone tear fell down her cheek
" I'm sorry, it is true. But you have to understand I was trying to atone for that. I was once an angel, but I was swayed by Lucifer he was so persuasive made me, us think that we should be held above all others and I fell after the war was lost with all those who followed him. After I was forced to marry Apsu my father promised me that I would be given the chance at a life that I could make my own. I wandered the earth for years alone till I found you, and I loved you with everything I had. It was you who made me human John who made me remember who I really was, who I am. Then we had two beautiful sons they're both more angel than demon, but Azazel he can sway them, tempt them, he'll try again. You have to keep them safe John "
" I will, I'll die to protect them "
" I know you will " she smiled " But he's coming, you have to be ready , they have to be ready "
" What about this prophecy ? " she sighed and bit at her lower lip
" It says that a child born from a demon but with a heavenly blessing will be the one to send Azazel into eternal damnation, never to return. Killed by the fire which he creates and uses to destroy "
" Dean…." John whispered, she nodded
" He's getting there John but my brother won't give up, and he'll try anything to get to him, hurt anyone. I'm going to send someone to help you, he was one of my brothers before the war he'll help to train Dean spiritually "
" Spiritually ? " John cocked an eyebrow " Are you kidding me ?! "
" John……….please this is important " she scolded John blew the air from his nose in frustration ,
" Fine, fine so who is this brother ? "
" Michael " she said quietly ",
" Michael, as in arch angel Michael ?! Isn't he the guy who sent you to hell in the first place ? "
" Yes that Michael and he owes me a favour , don't ask " she said at the look on Johns face, " I have to go now John "
" Wait……can't you…..can't you stay a bit longer ? " he had a pleading look in his eyes and reached out to her to take her in his arms again but she stepped away already seeming to be fading
" I can't John I have to go. Michael will be with you soon, make Dean listen to him and tell him…tell him…" but before she could complete what she was going to say she was gone and John was left alone .
Sorry this has taken so long been mad busy with work and that annoying thing they call life. Plus this chapter was really hard to write and I'm still not happy with it. But I had to get something out so here it is. Hope you enjoyed it xx I'll try an update again soon but can't make any promises. I'm back to the graveyard shift in a couple of weeks so the chapters should be coming out quicker. Plus I got another story milling around my noggin it's a dark angel/ supernatural crossover so keep your peepers open. Well that's it for now guys xxx