A/N: azngirlchibi is back from her trip to the U.S. She is very tired because she has had only 12 hours of sleep total in four days because her tour guide kept waking her up at 5 in the morning after sleeping at 1 in the morning, and now she has gone crazy and is referring to herself in third person.

Enjoy the chapter!

Dedicated to Marianne

"Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again?"

-Rosa Parks

She wasn't sure how it happened… but she did know one thing.

It wasn't supposed to have happened.

She wasn't supposed to be covered in blood.

And Sonic wasn't supposed to be dying in her arms.

"No, no, no!" The words were burning her salty, tear-stained lips. "No, Sonic!" She shook him, but his eyes were still closed, those eyes that she had always longed to read, longed to understand, but now… now… now she would no longer see anything in them but death.

"Sonic, why? You weren't supposed to leave me…" She sobbed, feeling the pain wrack through her body as if determined to break every bone inside her. And she would deserve it, she knew. It was all her fault that Sonic was dying, even if she couldn't remember how, or why. That didn't matter anymore.

Nothing mattered except that Sonic was going to die.

Suddenly, Sonic's eyes flew open. Amy gasped. A trickle of blood escaped his cracked, bloodless pale lips as he whispered to her:

"You weren't supposed to leave me either…"

Amy cried again. It felt like her heart was being cleaved in two. "I'm sorry, Sonic!" she sobbed. She wanted to punish herself. She wanted to cause herself so much pain that she was blinded by it, that she could no longer remember that Sonic was dying. But as much as her heart felt like something was ripping it out of her chest, Sonic was still staring at her, boring holes into her skull.

"Why… did you leave me?" he asked, his voice barely loud enough to be heard above her crying.

"I don't know! I don't know anymore…" She shook her head viciously from side to side as if determined to snap her neck in two. The iron smell of blood made her want to throw up, made her head pound as if someone was drumming against the inside of her head. She let the hurt course through her body like a raging hurricane, letting it tear her slowly from the inside out, because she wanted it to end. She wanted everything to end right now; she didn't want to live anymore!

She didn't deserve life.

"Sonic!" she heard herself shout over and over again, until her throat ached. "Sonic, Sonic!" she shouted, as if it would scare death away, as if death might pity her and decide to leave Sonic alone, or that it might take her instead…

But Sonic merely smiled at her, smiled as if he wasn't dying, as if he had finally run so fast that nothing could catch him. "Bye Amy…"

"No!" she screamed, but Sonic's face rolled over so that his cheek was pressing against her lap, so that his lifeless eyes were staring at her stomach.

And still she screamed, even though Sonic couldn't hear her anymore. She screamed, because Sonic had run, run so fast to a place that she couldn't reach, finally run so fast that she couldn't catch him anymore.

She screamed because this wasn't supposed to happen.

She screamed because it was all her fault.

She screamed because Sonic the Hedgehog was dead.

… And she was still screaming, screaming as if her life depended on it…

"Really now, if you would just stop thrashing for one second, dear…"

Amy gasped, the air rushing into her lungs. Why wasn't she dead? Why was she still living after doing that terrible thing… after she had killed Sonic, after he had died for her? Why was she still alive?

Suddenly, her covers were torn away from her body, leaving her shivering from the cold. But just as quickly as the cold came, she was warm again, and she realized that her Grandmother was hugging her tightly.

"I… I…" Amy stuttered, trying to tell her she was sorry for waking her up. But her words turned into tears that ran down her already sodden face.

"It's just a nightmare," she heard her Grandmother whisper, patting her back soothingly.

"N-no it isn't," Amy said, her voice shaking into her shoulder. The steadily darkening room was blurring before her tear-veiled eyes. "It's punishment for leaving him… I-I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have…"

She cried again, tears falling thick and fast, as if she could still see Sonic's body, his lifeless eyes, a ghost of a smile still on his face as his head rolled over…

She felt her Grandmother's head shaking on her shoulders. "Nightmares can't hurt you, only scare you." She pulled her back firmly, still powerful and lively of spirit despite her old age. "Nightmares can only scare you," she said again, wiping away her tears with her thumb. Amy felt a jolt as she remembered that Sonic had done the same that day on the plane…

Amy shook her head vigorously. "No…" she whispered. "They can hurt you too." And once again, she felt that sensation of wanting everything to end, of wanting to hurt so much that the pain numbed everything else…

She hardly felt those soothing hands retreating from her. The mahogany of the bed stand gleamed softly in the fading light, the smell of wood reminding her of her childhood. But the musty smell kept reminding her that it had been unused for a long time, as if it had been waiting patiently for her to return… She shook her head again, wanting to be rid of those thoughts, but the thought and smell of blood barged in right after. She had told herself that she had not come here to cry, but somehow, she had known that coming back wasn't going to make her happy either.

She sighed, the last traces of the salty tears leaving her tongue. She didn't want to be back here… why had she come back? She couldn't remember.

"You don't want to be back here, do you?"

Amy looked up. Grandmother Rose was smiling at her sadly. She flinched. The smile reminded her of Sonic's in her dream…

She looked away. "It's… not that I don't want to be back here with you…" She could feel the heat of her Grandmother's eyes on the side of her head. "It's just that… I don't want to be back in this house…"

"Oh, is that it?" Amy looked back. It was almost pitch dark now, the last rays of sunshine draining away in the distance, making her Grandmother's near-sighted eyes glow bright green in the darkness.

Amy nodded, a little ashamed. "I just… it's just… I don't like my memories here," she finished in a mumble. She shivered, as if she could hear the shattering of pottery, the screams of her parents, begging as they told her to hide, told the monster that walked in to spare her. Then the bang of gunshots, blood splattering her new, green dress, the flash of red eyes…

She drew up her legs, resting her forehead on them, not wanting anyone to see her tears anymore.

"Rose, I killed Mum…" Her voice was low, hoarse, trying to conceal her sadness. "When… when Metal Sonic walked in, I should've gone quietly… I shouldn't have tried to fight back, then maybe Mum wouldn't have walked in to block the doorway and saw us…"

She sniffled. "He shot Mum. Right to the heart. There was so much blood everywhere, and then he stepped over her towards me..."

"Enough."

Amy was startled into looking at her Grandmother, whose eyes were blazing. "I know very well how your parents died," she said coldly. "I do not… do not need reminding…"

Amy bit her lip hard, drawing blood. "I… I'm sorry…"

Her Grandmother glared. "You did not kill your parents."

Amy stood up, towering over her. "Yes I did!" she shouted. "Didn't you just hear me? I should've just gone with him! Then she'd… she'd be still alive!"

Her Grandmother stood up too, even though she only reached up to Amy's shoulders. Her eyes crackled with anger. "Did you really think that she'd just let him take you? As soon as she'd have heard that you were gone, she would've chased after you anyway! You should be proud of having mother like her! She knew she died protecting her child! And she would not want her only child ashamed of herself, of her own mother!"

"I'm not… ashamed of my mother…" she said, slightly abashed.

"You have a strange way of showing it!" her Grandmother snapped.

"But then… then it's still my fault either way!" Amy argued. "She would've died saving me either way…"

"Why are you so bent on blaming yourself?" her Grandmother asked angrily. "Look, were you the one who built the monster who shot them? No, you weren't! Are you saying that you wished that you were never born? Are you saying that your motherwished that you were never born?"

"She probably did after she died…" Amy mumbled darkly.

Her Grandmother turned sharply to the window. For a second, it seemed like she was at a loss of what to say as the moonlight streamed in through the open window, making the few streaks of white in her quills look like they were made of the purest moonlight.

Amy turned away from her. Suddenly, she heard her say, "You're just like your mother. Fragile as glass, and more stubborn then an oak."

The pink hedgehog's mind blanked in surprise. She had never heard her grandmother talk of her mother before. She usually avoided talking about her at all costs. And her expression was soft as they looked at her face.

Gently, she continued, the harshness in her voice gone. "She never cried around anybody. She put up a strong front, made it as if nothing in the whole wide world could hurt her. But you know, I think she also cried more than anybody in the whole world as well…"

Her voice trailed off. Amy looked out the window, more for something to look at then actually because she wanted too. Stars were starting to peep out through the curtain of night. The streets were completely black, except for a pinprick of light from a distant window, letting the soothing darkness wrap it's velvet arms around Amy.

"But that's beside the point," said her Grandmother, her voice suddenly sounding business-like. Amy looked at her curiously. "From what I've been hearing, you've made yourself quite a life after leaving this house, and after that Sonic character saved you, didn't you?"

Amy smiled, but there was a trace of bitterness in the way she said, "I left that life too, Grandmother…."

There was a pause. "I don't want to be the cause of anymore deaths, Grandmother…" Amy whispered softly. A light wind blew through, and she was instantly reminded of Sonic, and the twins. "I'm raising two children who will destroy the world; I threw away my life of comfort and friends for them, now the whole world's against me except for one person… why did I do it?"

Her Grandmother smiled at her, and once again, she felt herself being reminded of Sonic. "Maybe those two twins are your world, Amy…"

Amy stared at her for a few moments. "But then… why has Sonic followed me?"

Her Grandmother's smile merely grew wider. "Maybe it's because you're his world…"

It took Sonic five full seconds to realize that it had all been a dream, and that his heart really was still beating in his chest, and that Amy… Amy wasn't here.

Sonic slumped back into the pilot seat of the plane. His eyes turned up to the glass that covered both him and the twins and they slept through the night. He could still see the cracked glass, crudely repaired by him, making it look light the moon had spun a web on the sheet of glass.

He buried his face in his hands. It was as if as soon as Amy had gone, the nightmares had pounced on him, waiting for their prey to be unprotected, for the moment he was the most vulnerable.

But – and he was so ashamed of himself for even thinking it – he wanted the nightmares to continue, wanted them suck him in when he was sleeping, because those were the only moments when the hurt would stop, where he would catch one glimpse, just one glimpse of Amy. Of him protecting her, of her hurting, of her crying… but it was a glimpse all the same.

And it was the only time when he didn't have to live through the day. It was the only time when whatever the monster inside his chest was would stop squeezing at his heart, battering it around until it felt bruised and sore. It was the only time when he didn't have to put on the painfulest of empty smiles that seemed to scare Nathaniel and Naomi, because they would scurry away whenever they saw him, only holding still long enough for him to bathe, change, and feed them…

He suddenly pushed open the sheet of glass above him, climbed out and sat on the roof of the plane because he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the hurt that ate away at him slowly, that refused to kill him no matter how hard he pleaded for it to. He wished that something – anything – would come and end his life, because he was trapped in this body, trapped in this life he didn't want anymore, trapped with a soul that was bleeding to death inside him.

The stars shimmered above him as he closed his eyes, blocking them out. He was crying, he knew. He was crying shamelessly, even though he hated tears. He didn't think it was possible for his heart to feel so much pain without bursting, but now he knew it could.

He opened his mouth, tears sliding in and leaving their taste in his mouth as he whispered, "I miss you Amy…"

It sounded so childish, so selfish. But it was the truth, a truth that might just kill him.

But he knew that he couldn't die.

He knew, because Amy had told him to wait for her and to take care of the children. And he knew that it would be selfish to die, because he had so many people that loved him, and people that he loved back.

And suddenly, he heard Amy whisper inside him, "And who will keep Nathaniel from blowing things up?"

Sonic laughed and wiped his tears away. No, he couldn't cry. He had too many things to do, and he'd done too much self-pitying already.

'Besides…' thought Sonic, taking one last look at the star-strewn sky, 'I made a promise to wait for Amy. And I've never broken a promise before.'

The tearing scream was still ringing in Rouge's ears when she bolted out of the bed, nearly waking Knuckles up. The red echidna merely grunted and rolled over so that she was facing his back.

She had just had a dream. No, not a dream, a nightmare. Her chest heaved up and down as her head fell back onto the pillow, her eyes watering as they stared at the ceiling. It felt like a giant weight had sat itself across her lungs, and breathing felt difficult, even more difficult then keeping her heart beating…

She couldn't remember the nightmare, not clearly anyway. But she did remember the choking smell of blood, the splashing of tears, and the scream – the pain-filled, ear-jerking, heart-shattering scream…

The white bat choked back tears. She couldn't cry, not again! She'd already cried too much, so many tears that she probably smelled like them too.

Rouge breathed in deeply. The air was balmy with the smell of rain that Tails's tiny wooden workshop soaked in greedily. He had been kind enough to let them stay in his old attic room that had a single small window, which for some reason, was always open.

She closed her eyes again, the back of her eyes dark against the night. How many times had she done this? Closed her eyes and hoped that she would never open them again? Wished that death would carry her away to another place… somewhere where she didn't have to feel her heart breaking?

She felt Knuckles turn around so that he was facing her again, his breath hot and warm on her face. He was the one breaking her heart. He was causing her so much pain, so much suffering. So why didn't she just… leave?

'Because he's the one holding my heart in the palm of his hands,' she thought bitterly. 'Because I was stupid enough to give it to him so that he could do whatever he pleases with it.'

And right now, he was slowly cutting it in two.

Ruby started crying in the next room, but she ignored her against all her motherly instincts. 'I don't want her!' her mind screamed. 'I don't want Ruby, I don't want Knuckles! I don't want to love them anymore, I want out!'

But she couldn't get out. She could feel the light pressing itself around her, tighter and tighter until she couldn't breathe anymore, until she couldn't escape it.

After all, wasn't it light that you were supposed to see when you were dying?

Sonic had always hated it when he cried. That's why he had always kept himself from crying, because he had told himself that he was strong, that he was just as strong as Sonic was, and that he… he was going to make Sonic proud.

But Sonic wasn't here. He wasn't here to comfort him, to tell him that everything was okay… So the tears fell from his eyes like rain after lightening had ripped through the sky.

It hurt so much to not be with Sonic. Tails hadn't realized that he had built so much of his life around his best friend. It was like Sonic had given the pulse to everything that he did, the life in all his projects. And now… nothing seemed to be alive anymore with Sonic gone. He no longer built machines just for the fun of it, but always because he had to.

Tails stared at the blueprints for his new plane, but he didn't take any of it in. His gloved hands were soaked from tears that seeped into blue paper, illuminated by the lone lamp at his desk. It was a new plane, probably the best that he had ever thought of. It could go almost as fast as Sonic, loaded with weapons that could easily demolish everything within radar in it's fighter mode…

'How come I had made such a monster?'

Tails growled in frustration and clenched his hands.

'How come I'm going to build such a monster with my own two hands?'

His growl grew louder.

'How come I'm going to use it to catch Sonic?'

His growl turned into a shout. He grabbed the blueprints off his desk, knocking over the lamp and smashing the bulb so that he was in total darkness. He crumpled the blueprints, feeling the satisfaction of paper crumbling under his hands. Then, with a yell, he threw it across his bedroom where it smashed loudly against the wall before dropping onto his bed again.

Tails clenched his fists hard until he felt his nails bite into his palm. 'Why do I have to… I don't want to…'

He yelled again and toppled his chair over. One of the legs went spinning off, only to smack against the wall as he gave it an extra hard kick. He pushed pencils, papers, staplers off his desk where they all fell with a clang. Books went flying as his bookcase as he threw it to the ground, smashing the glass.

He breathed hard. The glass from the bookcase had cut deeply into his hand, leaving a stinging wound along the back of his hand.

"Tails…?" came a timid voice.

Cream had opened the door just a crack. A sliver of light from the hallway fell across the gleaming glass, and it glinted harshly in the yellow light.

"Oh, Cream…" he said faintly. He lowered his hands, and wiped the tears from his face. "C-Come in… and close the door, would you…?"

Cream did as she was gold. Her wide brown eyes eyed the wreckage of the room, the glass that sprawled across the white carpet, the broken potted plant with dirt that had spilled out…

"S-sit down," said Tails, his voice stammering as he gestured towards his bed.

The rabbit carefully stepped over the bookcase, avoiding the glass. She sat down on the bed creaking from her weight. She could feel Tails's piercingly blue eyes watching her, waiting for her reaction…

"I…" Cream started, but then she closed her mouth.

There were a few moments of silence.

"Are… you okay?" she managed to say.

A pause.

"No…" came Tails's answer. Cream looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "No, I'm not okay…"

Suddenly, his voice choked. Cream stood up, wrapping her arms around his neck, and she felt tears spill on her shoulder.

"Cream… I don't… I don't…"

"I know…" Cream whispered. "I don't want to either. I want them back."

Amy had always hated it when she cried. She told her that she hated it when she was sad… because, after all, she was there for her, so there was no need for tears.

But Amy wasn't here. There was nothing keeping her heart from being gashed by sadness, nothing to keep the blood from flowing away from her.

So she cried too, even though she told herself that she couldn't anymore.

It just hurt too much not to.

A/N: Okay, I'm done being crazy. It was actually pretty fun going to the U.S. Never saw building so high before, except in Hong Kong. It was a bit overwhelming, but it was still fun, even though I was half-asleep most of the time. And my poor brother threw up all over me on the tour bus... wrecked my Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book and made me smell like vomit, so my sympathy is a bit limited. My parents promised to replace the book for me though... (sigh). Well, at least I had Sonic Rush to lessen the boredom. Especially when our tour guide was talking - Gods, his English AND his Chinese both sucked. He stammered like we were going to eat him or something...

But seriously, the U.S is cool, even though everything in the city's like, fenced in and/or off-limits. You guys who are living there are lucky peoples!

And sorry for not replying to reviews, I've just been too tired, and The Queen of Aces obviously can't because she doesn't have the review reply link... but the two of us still really appreciate your reviews and suggestions, and I'll get back to replying as soon as I can :)

Oh, and anyone who spots the stupid plot error I made in this chapter gets a big cookie!

Thanks for reading!

The Queen of Aces

azngirlchibi