Author's Note: Thank you for both positive reviews, you guys. It's nice to have those in my inbox. So, now that I've got positive reviews, I shall bring you the second chapter of this epic saga! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Mario, nor his many minions.

They wouldn't let me bring my car; they were convinced that it would draw attention to us. So, Toad thought he got to sit back in the castle while I went off and captured myself a kingdom. He thought wrong. I made Toad carry my trunk…on his back…in full bondage gear. The little guy was frightened for the first few minutes, but once I got the mask over his head, he shut up.

Mario and Luigi were a little shocked as well, although I'm not sure why. That tape that got around a few years ago wasn't me in my best light, but it sure drew attention! But it's not as if I'm the only princess who has a tape circulating around. Peach has an entire library, and one of Bowser's daughters happens to have one. That's probably the reason he's so pissed at Mario.

"Do you honestly need to bring a trunk?" Luigi asked, looking back at Toad. "And what's with the bondage?"

"He needs discipline."

"Please don't tell me you practice S & M on your servants," Mario piped in, looking concerned. I smiled sweetly, and he looked away quickly. Luigi looked nervous as well, and I could tell that they were already having second thoughts about this whole "let's let Daisy go with us so she can murder the princess and take over the kingdom!" thing.

I was already starting to sweat. This was ridiculous. I summoned Toad to give me my parasol, which proved to be a difficult task for the little whiner. I was even forced to get it myself! After a few chosen words to both Toad and the sun, I managed to get the parasol out of the trunk and over my head. The sun looked hurt and shouted a few back at me. I retaliated. Mario and Luigi tried to break it up between us, but I refused to let it have the last laugh. Finally, they pulled me away, and I flipped it off.

We were walking for a good hour before we saw anything interesting. I've never liked the outdoors much, except for the flowers. I don't take care of them, of course, but they're fun to look at and walk through. Ahead of us, we saw a field full of Goombas, and Mario looked worried.

"What's the problem?" I asked, wiping my forehead with my handkerchief that I had gotten at Chippendales the year before. "They're just Goombas. Jump on them or punch them, and let's get on our way."

"These aren't regular Goombas, Daisy!" Mario said, hiding behind a tree ahead of us. "They're fake. Last year, a team of Bob-ombs came out here and took over the entire field. It was a bloody battle, don't you remember? It took weeks for them to clean up the skin. The Bob-ombs one, and I think they're in disguise. Why would Goombas come back to a spot where they were all killed?"

"Who cares? What's the worst that can happen with a bunch of walking bombs?"

"Think about what you just said."

I paused. "Yes, well…they're still no actual hassle, are they? Just pick them up and throw them. Take out a ton at one time, I'll even film it!"

"I don't know, I have a bad feeling."

"Then send Luigi out there to test it!" I shouted. Luigi looked around quickly before shouting, "Hey!"

"Okay then. Luigi, get your ass out there." Mario pushed Luigi in front of the Goombas, who immediately attacked him. I had never seen them so violent. They were actually chewing on his face, and large welts were popping up all over him.

"This is tragic," I said, sitting down on a stump and filing my nails. "Are you going to go help him?"

"Oh, yes, I probably should do that."

"Probably. Is that an eyeball?" I asked, seeing one shoot out from Luigi's body. Mario ran out to help Luigi, and half of the Goombas attacked him. I paused, seeing both of the people who would get me through this thing being mauled to death. What a dilemma, I must tell you! I didn't know what to do. I mean, my nails had gotten pretty out of shape these last few days, and I had just found the time to file them. But on the other hand, I'd known Mario and Luigi all of my lives. Finally, I got up and ordered Toad to get my grenade launcher. He retrieved it, and I walked out in front of both groups. Toad turned my stereo up full blast, and they came for me all at once. I quickly pulled the trigger a few times, killing at least ten, who exploded. They were Bob-ombs. I swirled around to shoot another five that were coming for me to the left. Luigi was able to get up and kick one away from him, but a few of them were going back for Mario, knowing that I would kick their little brown asses. So, I shot a grenade out to where Mario was. He got the clue and ran away just as it exploded. There were at least twenty left, and I had two grenades left. This wasn't enough. I shot them at two other groups but missed both times. I rushed back to the trunk, and Toad handed me my hammer. As soon as I put both of my hands on it, I ran around, smashing everything in sight. I took out fifteen of them before it disappeared, and I grabbed one that had bitten my leg and threw it at the other four. It exploded them all, leaving a huge hole in the ground.

"You guys are helpless," I said, returning my grenade launcher to the trunk and grabbing my parasol again. "That was too easy. This sun is killing my skin." I heard the sun smirk, and we went at it again. Mario and Luigi dragged me away once again, and we kept walking to Bowser's castle. Luigi collected his eyeball, but he put it on lopsided and managed to get a piece of grass lodged in as well. He complained the entire time.

We had to rest for the night. Toad set up the castle that I had brought along, and I slept in it. Mario and Luigi were too lazy to bring a castle along, so they slept in their filthy tent. Toad came up to my room at midnight and said that Luigi had come to see me. I told him to let him come in but to wait in the lobby while I prepared. I headed towards the closet and pulled out my dominatrix suit, something I had bought while I was visiting the bad parts of Mushroom Kingdom. I got out the rest of my whips, chains, and handcuffs and made my way downstairs. I paused on the staircase for a moment, practicing my slut pose, and Luigi looked shocked.

"Hello, Luigi," I whispered in a "Take me now!" tone of voice. I blinked my eyes a few times, and I saw a very noticeable lump in his pants.

"D-Daisy. Erm, it's…erm…nice to…erm…see you. I just wanted to drop in and…erm…say…erm…h-hello."

I rushed down the stairs and took his head in my hands. I nibbled softly on his ear and whispered, "We both know that's not what you're here for, Luigi. Not getting any at home?"

"Not getting any period," he remarked, looking down. "I don't get many groupies at all."

"We'll have to fix that, now won't we?"

"I – Daisy, I can't do this…it would be wrong."

"Ten thousand coins, and I'm all yours for tonight."

Luigi's eyes widened, and he stared at me for a moment. "Really?"

"I'll do anything you want. You name it; I'll make it happen. Just give me the money."

Luigi nodded. "I…uh…I saved up a ton from selling that old house. Here!" he handed me a sack of coins. I took it from him, peered inside, and smiled. "What would you like to do first, Luigi?"

The next morning, Luigi left the castle early so that Mario wouldn't spot him, and I got dressed. We were supposed to at least make it to Bowser's Castle by the afternoon, and we would take him out, rescue the slut, and then kill her. I was excited because the kingdom was almost mine, and the bitch would be dead. When I went outside, I noticed that Luigi was making breakfast. He smiled at me for a moment, and I nodded, sitting down on the throne Toad had dragged outside for me. I sat down, took a sip of absinthe, and said, "When are we getting back on the road again? I wouldn't want Peach in there too long!"

"As soon as Mario's awake. He doesn't eat in the mornings and he's doing Jenny Craig anyway."

"He does need to lose some weight."

Luigi nodded and beamed at me. "Last night was amazing."

"I suppose," I replied, sipping my absinthe once again. The truth was, the night had been utterly dull. Luigi had absolutely no knowledge of sex at all. In fact, I was almost certain that it was his first time! Halfway through, he started sobbing, and we had to talk about him the rest of the night. But at least I was ten thousand coins richer.

Mario came out of his tent, and did a triple jump before landing next to me. "Good morning, Daisy," he said cheerfully, staring out at the horizon. "We're going to rescue her today! And by the end of the night, Peach and me can…"

"Oh, God, Mario. I don't want to hear about it," I said, having the sudden urge to cut my ears off. "Can we just go?"

They both nodded. Luigi packed up the rest of their stuff, and Toad packed up my castle. We started running, and we finally captured a herd of Yoshis. They were pissed at us because we stopped their breeding, but I could care less. My shoes were brand new, and I would be damned before I would let them be destroyed. We rode out on the Yoshis until we neared Bowser's castle. This place was literally like hell. Who makes an entire castle out of steel anyway? He had a lava moat surrounding and a Mario Kart track all around the outside. Koopas were just walking or flying around there, probably looking for us, but the Yoshis managed to eat them all. We had no trouble getting into the castle. Peach, here I come