Put blue dye in their water tank so when they take a shower they all turn blue.
Email Edward obsessively.
Cut all of the strings on Edward's piano.
Sing Charlie the Unicorn every time you see Charlie.
Tell Edward to stop molesting your mind.
Run over to Emmett, slap him, and run away.
Hit Jacob with a crowbar.
Ask Jacob what breed he is.
Tell Renesmee that it is illegal to marry an animal.
Tell the Cullen men that sparkling is not manly.
Tell the werewolves that busting out of their clothes at inopportune moments is not cool.
Put dog treats in a trail leading from Jacob's house into the forest.
When he doesn't come, tell him that dogs are supposed to be faithful and then start crying.
Tell Rosalie that the BMW is her favorite car because that's the only one that she can spell.
When Jacob annoys you, throw a stick and tell him to fetch it for you.
Steal all of their cars and replace them with push-mowers.
When they get mad, tell them that they were becoming a danger to humans everywhere.
Paint Edward's Volvo bubble-gum pink.
Bark at Jacob.
Whenever the werewolves come by, plug your nose and ask if someone forgot to take the dog out.
Tell Emmett dirty jokes so he can go and repeat them to Edward. Repeatedly.
Run around Esme's house with muddy boots on.
Tell Emmett that he is not allowed around children anymore since he might mistake them for footballs.
Make Rosalie realize just how dumb Emmett really is.
Smear Alice and Rosalie's make-up all over their mirrors.
Write Mike Newton's phone number in lipstick on Bella's mirror and leave it there for Edward to find.
Tell Emmett that you found his steroids.
Tell Emmett that steroids destroy brain cells, then wait a second and, very quietly, say 'that explains it.'