Authors Note: So I think i deleted the wrong version of this chapter, so any mistakes are totally my fault, and not Ebony10 who read this over for me. Thanks to every one who read this and responded. I honestly didn't know if anyone was even going to read it, considering that i wasn't paring Jane and Lisbon right off. Most people are rooting for Jane to still get Lisbon, even though he's been kind of a jerk. I hope every one like this.
Disclaimer: If I owned them I wouldn't be going to the cheapest four year college west of the Mississippi (it's true, the actually advertise it that way).
I open my eyes. I had actually dozed off; I look at the clock, 12:00. It's midnight and I try to figure out what woke me up. Then I hear it again. There's a noise coming from the kitchen. I'm in no mood for someone to be in my house. I quietly get out of bed. I leave my weapon in the drawer by my bed. In the mood I'm in I would probably shoot Santa Clause. I slowly make my way down the hall toward the kitchen. I'm glad for once that my apartment is longer than it is wide. It gives me a few seconds to try to figure out what the noise I hear could be.
I'm almost ready to turn the corner into the kitchen when I recognize the noise. Someone is crying. I hope that the idiot that broke in here doesn't have a weapon, I'm in no mood to have to fight off a criminal with mental problems tonight. I step quietly into the kitchen and I see her.
I can't believe my eyes. How did she get in here, then I remember. I had given her a key when I went to visit my mother a few months ago, I had never got it back from her, I figured I wouldn't need to. She's sitting at the place I left set for her at the table and in her hand is the ring box. I turn to leave, I don't really want to have this conversation tonight, but she hears my footsteps and looks up.
"Kim." I can hear the tears in her voice and what sounds like a note of pleading, but I try not to listen to closely. I don't want to turn around. I can't face her right now, I know if I look at her I will just end up crying, and I don't want her to remember me that way.
"Good night Lisbon." I say. I can't bear to call her Teresa, that beautiful name; I want to remember saying it in happy times, not now. I don't go back into by bedroom, but rather I go and sit on the sofa in the living room. I can bring myself to go much further than that. The crying I did earlier tonight had taken its toll and I am too exhausted to care anymore.
As I sit there I feel the tears starting again. Why do I have to be crying now, she's still here I can hear her in the kitchen. It sounds like she's getting into the fridge. She'll see the leftover food. I wish I had thrown it out now. I make a note to call Rigsby in the morning and see if he wants to come over for a home cooked meal. Knowing him, he'll say yes and I can get rid of all the food in one shot, he wouldn't care that it hadn't been meant for him originally.
"I didn't mean to hurt you." She says quietly coming into the living room and standing behind the sofa.
I struggle to control my emotions and say "Please just leave."
"We need to talk." I don't want to talk. I have no interest in talking to her. She broke my heart. I can't stand it. Was I always just a place holder for what she really wanted?
"You don't have to worry about it being weird at work. I asked Minelli for a transfer today. I'm starting on the organized crime taskforce on Monday. I was going to tell you earlier, but now seems as good a time as any." I can hear the bitterness in my voice and I can't keep it out. I still can't bring myself to look at her.
"It's not what you think." Oh really, how would she know.
"What are there two psychics working for the CBI now?" I can't stand this anymore. I stand up and turn around. I can see the look of pain that crosses her face when I mention him. I almost feel sorry for her, but it quickly turns to anger. "Please, just leave now before I do something I'm going to regret."
"Just listen to me, please. Let me explain." She looks so sad; I can tell this is hard for her too. I haven't been able to tell her no since the first time she kissed my six months ago. I just sigh and she takes that as a queue to go on.
"I'm sorry I didn't show up earlier. I didn't mean to stand you up. It looks like you put a lot of effort into dinner." She pauses here, as if not sure how to go on. How much of my conversation with Jane did you over hear tonight?"
"What makes you think I overheard any of your conversation?"
"I was supposed to be here by 8:00, but here it is midnight, and you never once tried to call me. You must have thought I was ok if you didn't call."
I hated that she was trying to turn this around and make me feel guilty. I decide to answer her question any way. "I heard him tell you he loves you. I know you love him, that's the only reason I can think of that you would let him walk all over you; you don't let anyone else do that. I figured that you had made your decision when you didn't show up for dinner."
I lose my desire to stand at this point and collapse back into the sofa. It's too painful to think about, her being with him. I just sit there staring at the TV, even though it's not turned on. Teresa comes around the couch and sits on the coffee table in front of me.
"I almost did go with him. But I realized something. I don't love him. I don't think I ever really did. I might have liked him at first, been infatuated with him, but I never loved him. I do however love you."
She goes to grab my hands, but I don't want her touching me right now. I stand up quickly and walk towards the kitchen to get something to drink. I curse the fact that the only alcohol in my apartment is the wine I bought to go with dinner. I don't want to open it. I settle for a glass for water. As I stand by the sink drinking I hear her come up behind me.
"Kim." I know she wants me to say something, but I don't know what to say.
"Lisbon." Is my response to her.
"Please don't call me that." I can hear pleading in her voice.
"Why not it's your name." I'm almost happy that she seems to be upset at me using her last name not her first.
"We're dating, and if I hadn't been late tonight I think we might be more than that."
I scoff and turn around to look at her. "We are not dating. And how do you know what I was going to do with that ring tonight, you weren't here."
I see a look of pain cross her face, and she lowers her head for a minute. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. After Jane told me that he loved me, I was in shock. I knew I should just leave, but I couldn't. It took me a good five minutes to be able to get my mind around what he said."
I want to tell her I don't believe her, but she see's I want to say something and stops me. "Please, just let me say it all before you say anything."
I nod my head in consent and she continues.
"When I was finally able to say something I asked him why he waited till now to tell me, and he said it was because he wanted to tell me before it was too late. I couldn't figure out what he meant, but then he said that he had heard you talking to a jeweler on the phone the other day and had called around and figured out that you had bought an engagement ring. He wanted to tell me he loved me before I said I would marry you. I should have left right then, but I didn't.
"We got to talking about you and his wife, and life in general, and before I knew it was after 10:00. I couldn't believe how late it was. I was going to leave, and Jane reminded me that I hadn't said anything about his telling me that he loved me. I was going to tell him that I didn't love him, when he kissed me."
She stopped there and looked at me. I wasn't sure what to expect at this point. She said that it was two hours ago when Jane had kissed her, I really didn't think that was the end of the story, so I didn't say anything.
She continued, "I couldn't believe he would kiss me, he's really good at it, not that you needed to know, but the whole time he was kissing me I couldn't help but think that he wasn't nearly s good as the man who was waiting for me back at his apartment. I felt so guilty. I told him that I used to like him; but that I was defiantly in love with you and that I was so late that you must be worried sick.
"That's when he mentioned that you must have over heard us talking, because I hadn't got one phone call from you. After I left I drove around for what felt like forever, and I finally ended up here. I knew you were probably asleep, so I used the key that you had given me when you went out of town and I let myself in. I saw the ring next to the plate on the table and I knew what Jane had said was true. You were going to ask me to marry you tonight, weren't you?" She looked me straight in the eye and I find that I can't look away.
"That was the plan. Home cooked meal, chocolate cake and a marring proposal. It had it all worked out. I even talked to Minelli about switching departments so that there wouldn't be a conflict of interest. He's almost petrified of you, you are known to have a bit of a temper, that he made to promise to tell you myself. It couldn't have worked out better if I had planed it that way. It was almost perfect." I can't look at her any more.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you that was never my intention. I love you, I really do, more than I ever thought was possible. When you never called tonight, I thought I lost you. I couldn't bear to think about going to work every day and not seeing you, not being with you. It was almost too much to bear. That's why I came over here tonight. I thought that maybe if I explained it to you, you might take me back." She looks like she's going to cry again and I can't stand to be the one to cause her tears.
I go up to her and pull her into a hug and hold her tight against me as if I'm afraid that she'll disappear. I never want to let her go. There is one thing I still have to do though. I look over her head at the table and notice the ring box still sitting there. I release her, and immediately feel cold, like I've lost all of my warmth. I want to just grab her and hold her again, but I want to do this now.
I pick the ring box up off the table and pull the ring out. It took me weeks to figure out what her ring size was so that it would fit perfectly the first time and not have to go back to the jeweler to be sized. I turn around and face her. I think about getting down on one knee, but it just seems silly. Instead I grab a hold of her left hand and slowly push the ring onto her finger.
"Teresa," I look her in the eyes, "Will you marry me?" I don't know why, but I am nervous. I already know her answer, but the brief seconds it takes her to say it feels like and eternity.
"Of course I will." She pulls my face down towards hers and kisses me. It feels like the first time that she kissed me, but this time I can feel the cool metal of the ring as it brushes my check. I think that we are going to be very happy together. I break off the kiss and start to laugh.
"What's so funny?" she is confused and I don't blame her.
"Rigsby is going to have to find something else for lunch tomorrow."
"I don't understand." She's still confused.
"How would you like some dinner." She smiles at me know she gets it.
"I would love some." She kisses me one more time, and grabs her plate of the table. She looks at home here, and I am happy to know that we never have to be apart again.