Chapter Three: Another Decision

The landscape changed from one town to another in the next few hours. Jasper and Peter kept a watch on the area, until they felt that they were safe. At length, it was Charlotte that spoke. "Where do you think we ought to settle?" She was standing close to Peter, as always. She had nothing but respect for him, after he had saved her from certain death. She had her own reasons for hating Maria.

"Maybe we just ought to keep traveling. It isn't as if we actually need the sleep." Peter put in. He glanced at Jasper. "What do you think?"

The group of runaways were far enough from their former encampment that Jasper had finally begun to relax and think clearly He knew a few things for sure. One, he hated himself for all the lives he had taken. Two, he desperately wanted to find another way to live. And third, and most important, he wouldn't be able to stay with Peter and Charlotte for a long time. They were not like him, and they just didn't understand him at all. Jasper found that he couldn't get past that fact, and it bothered him. He decided to he would talk to Peter as soon as he could. When Peter called to him, he looked over. "It doesn't really make much of a difference to me..." Though he had to admit that he wouldn't mind a break from traveling. "Maybe we can just find somewhere to rest for a little while.." Then he might have a chance to try and explain himself to Peter.

"If that's what you want..." Peter had become increasingly worried about Jasper. With every meal they had taken since leaving the hotel full of newborns, his old colleague had become increasingly irritable, and distant. This wasn't the Jasper he had left with Maria way back when he and Charlotte had gotten away. The Jasper he knew didn't mind partaking in a human feast every now and again. Now it felt as though he almost would rather starve, but his instincts got the better of him every time. Then he would beat himself up over it for days, even if he fed again. Peter just didn't understand him at all now. "Jasper, you haven't been yourself at all since the hotel back there..."

"Or maybe I have been my new self." Jasper replied, but it wasn't really directed at Peter. "Let's just find a place to sit and relax for a while. We're away from her. We should be celebrating for the time being." He really wanted to talk to Peter about things, but he wasn't sure how to handle that yet. Maybe once they were off the roads, and in a more suitable environment, things would go smoother.

Peter nodded, and said no more on the subject of Jasper's change of mindset. He glanced at Charlotte, who nodded. His partner didn't want to push Jasper either. He got the distinct impression that she stil harbored quite a bit of uncertainty towards Jasper, but she was getitng better about it. "Well, if we're going to stay somewhere, maybe it ought to be a bed and breakfast room. Something we can stick around in for a while..."

"Yes, but never too long, because of our...special needs." Jasper said quietly, as two gentlemen passed them, heading into a local tavern. "Maybe this place has rooms for rent. I wouldn't mind staying here." It didn't appear to be too occupied. The more deserted a place, the better for Jasper right now.

"Alright." Peter followed Jasper in, and they began to inquire about rooms.

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They got a single room on the next floor up. Peter and Charlotte went out after that to take care of their needs, Jasper stayed put, and paced the room. I hate this. I hate the fact I'm going to have to leave them soon. They're both so kind, to have let me even be with them. And here, I am just miserable. I need to go off on my own, and find that "other way" that I know is out there. I can't be the only one of our kind that finds the killing of humans for food to be morally wrong. If Peter and Charlotte want to keep living this way, that is their business, but this way of life isn't fitting for someone like me, who can sense every emotion available to feel. He continued to mull all of this over, getting more depressed by the moment. He was just making the decision to go out himself, when Peter came back. Charlotte wasn't with him. "Hey..."

"Hey..." Peter moved over to the window, where Jasper was gazing out into the dimly lit streets. "You seem to have a lot on your mind lately, my friend..." He was careful, choosing his words. He wasn't sure how Jasper was going to react to anything anymore. He wasn't the same as he had once been. "What happened, after me and Charlotte left?" He wondered if something else had happened between Jasper and Maria that he wasn't aware of.

"Nothing. That's just it, Peter. It was the same madness over and over. Turn a batch, train them a year, kill them. It just....it became redundant, and with the war over now, completely unnecessary." Jasper spoke these words to the window. He could sense Peter was troubled by what he was saying. He didn't have to see his old friend's face to know. "You will never understand what I've gone through. You have no idea what it's like, Peter, to feel every person's fear, and to know their dying feelings. It's agonizingly painful. To top it all off, Maria used me, to falsely lure innocents to the immortal world. It's completely unjustifiable." He turned, facing Peter now. His face was full of the inner turmoil he had been carrying around, for every life he'd taken, both human, and vampire.

Peter was speechless. He leaned against the wall by his palm, shaking his head silently. "I don't....understand. You have it right." The other vampire leaned against the wall fully now, his arms across his chest. "What about this....not killing humans for food? Is that part of why too?"

Jasper gritted his teeth at how casually Peter spoke of taking innocent lives. "Peter, there are other ways for us to survive. We don't have to kill innocents." He thought about Lawrence, and his brother, Ken. The elder of the two's startled expression of betrayal flickered into his mind again, and he tried his best to push it away. He clenched his fists tightly, furious with himself. But he knew death would've come to Lawrence whether he'd turned him for Maria's game or not. He withheld the urge to punch the wall in irritation.

"You're too emotionally involved..." Peter concluded. He came to put a hand on Jasper's shoulder. He was startled when his friend shrugged it off roughly. "Jazz..."

"I knew you wouldn't get it! I can't help being involved. I feel everything! And then, if that's not enough, I always tend to use my curse of manipulation to lure people into false securities before I kill them!" He headed for the door.

"Jasper! Where are you going?" Peter started forward to go after his friend. He thought better of it, when Jasper glared at him. His friend left the room, slamming the door behind him. Peter listened to him thunder down the stairs, before he sighed in frustration. You're right, Jazz. I just don't understand. It's in our nature to kill for life. What else can we possibly do? I feel bad for your unique situation, my friend, but there's really nothing we can do about it.

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Jasper kept running, until he was far enough away from both the tavern and people. He leaned against the wall of an alley, and sighed. That settles it all, doesn't it? I can't stay with them anymore after tonight. I need to go out, and make my own way. He had no idea where he was going to go, or where he would end up, but he knew that if he stayed around too much longer there would be an even bigger altercation between himself and Peter. He couldn't have that. If they werent' going to try and understand, it was better that they severed ways now. He pushed off against the wall, and continued walking in the opposite direction of the tavern. He wasn't ready to go back. As he walked, he tuned out as much as he could. There were people on the other side of the avenue.

Then he saw something that made him furious. A man, wearing all black, grabbed a hold of one of the two very pretty women that was walking towards a small shop. He heard her distressed scream, and he couldn't ignore it anymore. He dashed with inhuman speed towards the alley where the abductor was holding her against a wall, while he began to do unspeakable things. He tapped the man on the should. "I don't think the lady likes that much." He allowed his Southern drawl to come out, as it held a note of politeness with it.

"Who asked you? Get lost." The man said now. He had a very unfriendly expression on his face. He continued what he was doing, which was undressing his victim. He then pulled a knife, and began to carve into her now exposed delicate skin.

Jasper felt his intentions as they formed in his mind, and it made Jasper even more furious. No one deserved that kind of disrespect! The smell of the blood from the terrified victim nearly threw him for a loop. He tried his best to re-center his attention on the malicious attacker instead. He ripped him away violently, glaring at him. He threw him up against a wall. "People like you make me sick." He imagined his eyes were probably dark red or black at this point. The smell of the woman's blood filled his nostrils, made his stomach churn in hunger. He was quick to break the neck of the attacker. He heard the woman sobbing in the corner where he'd left her. She was terrified of him. Jasper turned to her, and after taking an unneeded steadying breath, he knelt to be at her eye level. "Sorry about that, ma'm. He won't be botherin' anyone anymore." It took every bit of strength he had, not to feed off the blood coming from her. "I'll go and send help for you." He stood up, and turned to go. He felt a hand clutch at his pant leg, and he looked down, startled. She had the most curious expression on her face. She wasn't a bit afraid of him.

"You saved me...I didn't deserve it..." Her expression told of countless unfaithful doings on the part of the woman. She had a shady past, and it surprised him. He pulled his leg away. "No one deserves that type of cruel death, ma'm. I suggest you make ammends with whatever you've done wrong, and make a better life for you and yours." He turned then, and walked out of the alley. The woman's companion wasn't too far down the way, and Jasper figured she'd find her. He turned in the opposite direction, and headed back to the tavern. He had proven to himself that he could resist his own bloodlust, if he wanted to bad enough. Now it was time to set out on his own, and find others that were doing the same.