Disclaimer: Dude, no.
Note: Dysphoria: an emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, or unease.
Sakura woke up the next morning feeling confused and disorientated. For a second she didn't know where she was, still caught in the grips of a dream that eluded her but included Sharingan eyes that darkened into the beautifully dark and flinty eyes that had so often haunted her while she slept.
It was when she caught sight of the gray walls around her, the sparse amount of furniture, that she remembered, and with it her irritation returned.
Sasuke, that bastard, had kidnapped her. Not only that but he refused to tell her where she was--to answer any of her questions, actually.
Sakura snorted and swung her legs over the extra futon, her ire growing when she felt the added weight on her ankles—stupid chakra manacles. Stupid Sasuke. Stupid her, allowing herself to be caught.
There was a tray of breakfast on the table, but she refused to touch it; after all, Sasuke still had not answered any of her questions, and Sakura was used to going without food because sometimes the sake of a mission demanded it. It was uncomfortable, but it was necessary, especially in this case.
And hey, it might bring Sasuke's damn ego down a peg. The thought made her smile, though it wasn't a particularly nice one.
Then she sighed, standing up and stretching. She was allowing her fury to take over, and while not unexpected, it wasn't an entirely good thing, either. Sakura had every right to be angry, of course, because of obvious events, but anger would achieve her nothing more than a headache.
Setting herself back down onto the futon, Sakura inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, beginning to meditate, studiously ignoring the smell of the food permeating the room.
She'd show him that he could no longer boss her around and affect her like he used to.
-x-
To say that Sasuke was annoyed at the sight of Sakura's uneaten food was an understatement. The fact that Sakura did absolutely nothing to acknowledge him when he entered the room didn't help matters, either. He wasn't used to being ignored by the girl who used to stare at him with hearts in her eyes--the girl that had jumped at any opportunity to cling to his arm and convince him to walk her home.
"Sakura." Inwardly Sakura smiled at the tone of voice—the new Sasuke she had seen had been nothing but impassive, and his anger, while expected, was also refreshing. It was nice to know that he at least still had some emotions left within him besides perfect calmness.
Sakura ignored him, focusing on her breathing, feeling whatever chakra she had left—she refused to let this get to her—swirling around her body gently, her posture calm and composed.
Sasuke's chakra, though, was flaring like fire. It was subtle, but she noticed it, and it left her feeling smug. A reversal of roles was indeed in order.
"Yes, Sasuke?" Sakura eventually asked quietly, her legs still crossed and her eyes still closed. Her hands were perfectly still on her knees, and she knew the sight of it, of her so calm, didn't improve Sasuke's mood. His chakra heightened and this time, Sakura almost couldn't hold back her grin of triumph.
Who knew something so insignificant as meditating could make Sasuke so mad?
It was probably because, at one time, Sakura's emotions had ruled her very life, clouded her judgement. Now she was older and wiser, the reason for it all standing in front of her (though he'd never know that), and Sasuke was treading on unfamiliar ground. In his own way, he was uncomfortable.
"You didn't eat." Yes, way to point out the obvious, Sasuke, Sakura responded sarcastically in her mind, but bit down on her tongue to stop the scathing rebuke from leaving her lips.
Still, maybe something would be good for him…
"No, really?" She cracked an eye open, realizing that there would be no more meditating to be done with an aggravated ex-teammate in the room. Sakura surveyed him coolly. It wasn't obvious, but judging by the tenseness of his jaw, he was clenching his teeth.
"Why." It was not a question, it was a statement, but Sakura wasn't surprised by Sasuke's demanding attitude; he'd always been like that, even when they had been twelve. Then again, she shouldn't be so foolish to believe that she even correctly knew him anymore. Sound had warped the Sasuke-kun she had known. The man in front of her was nothing more than a shadow of the boy who would have sacrificed his life for them, and who almost had, at various times. A shadow of the boy she had loved.
The thought brought a sad smile to Sakura's lips, and Sasuke noticed it, his frown deepening. What had he said to make her upset?
"Well, Sasuke," Sakura sighed, untangling her legs from the Indian-style they had previous been positioned at, "you never answered my question; therefore, I don't eat."
Sasuke gritted his teeth. "You're being childish, Sakura," he hissed.
Sakura shrugged. "You're no better, not answering such simple questions, Sasuke." He stared at her impassively and Sakura sighed again. "Where are my things?" Sasuke didn't answer and she understood the reason for his silence, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "You burned them, didn't you?"
"Yes." The answer was blunt, to the point, and Sakura resisted her urge to swear viciously at him. That asshole, how dare he?!
She felt the calm she had collected while meditating slipping away from her.
"Sasuke," her voice was low, her eyes glaring daggers at him, "you burned my medical books. My very rare, hard-to-get-your-hands-on medical texts."
Sasuke smirked at her. "Oh well."
This time Sakura really did swear at him. It was when she called him a bastard, however, that he frowned, and she was reminded of a time where things were easy and where a blond-haired boy was best friends with a lost boy whose demons never let him go. Sasuke was used to being called a bastard, but it was by the wrong teammate.
Suddenly, the door opened, and a woman with fire-red hair, magenta eyes, glasses, and the sluttiest clothing Sakura had ever seen on a woman—and this included Ino, who was well known for wearing clothing that Sakura wore as undergarments—looking like a bitch on wheels. This theory was proven when the woman sneered at her, and Sakura wanted to deck her.
"Sasuke, I sensed your chakra flaring. What's the matter?" Sakura watched in disbelief as the other female sidled up to Sasuke, fluttering her eyelashes at him behind her glasses.
"Karin, I thought I told you to never enter my room without my permission."
Hm. Karin. Sakura would have to remember that. (Like when she was tearing the other female's hair out from its roots, yeah.)
"But Sasuke," Karin whined, pressing herself up against the dark-haired male, "I was worried about you."
Beneath all of the layers of whore, Sakura could sense that the redhead was serious. The feeling this left her with made her swallow.
"Get out." Inwardly the roseate-haired female shook her head. Same old Sasuke. He wouldn't even flinch if a naked woman sauntered up to him and asked what she could do for him. Hell, he was probably used to it. Naruto, on the other hand…
The thought of Naruto caused a pain of an entirely different kind of well up inside of her chest, and Sakura bit her lip, vaguely hearing Karin huff in irritation and then leave, the door slamming behind her. Sakura wondered how panicked Naruto would be when he heard that Sakura hadn't returned back from a simple mission.
Now he'd have to worry about both of his teammates.
The image of Naruto's broken-hearted face, much as it had been when he learned of Jiraiya's death, swam before her eyes, and her heart broke with the pain of it. Naruto didn't deserve this, didn't deserve to worry so incessantly about her safety.
Sakura's eyes met Sasuke's, and she sneered at him.
After all, Naruto was her only teammate that had stuck around. Her only teammate that had cared enough to stick around.
When Sakura had been stuck in her own little world, Sasuke had been observing her, watching as an ache darkened her jade eyes to a green so deep it echoed black. He wondered absently what pain Sakura could have gone through to do that to her.
He realized then, angrily, that something stirred inside of him at the sight of her pain—that old familiar feeling of needing to protect Sakura. Of feeling obligated to make everything better.
Damn her and those eyes of hers.
Then those eyes were meeting his and the sneer she gave him only incensed him further.
Before Karin had stormed off, she had mentioned that they, meaning he, she, Juugo, and Suigetsu, had something to do outside of the base, and Sasuke, furious with himself, knew the exact way to hurt her, to level the playing field. Sakura made him feel, and that was dangerous.
Walking over to his closet in pseudo-calmness, Sasuke leaned in, shoving aside his other clothes, and grabbed the garment of black with red clouds on it from the back. He slipped it on fluidly, then glanced at Sakura.
Her eyes were wide, disbelief coloring her face. No…not possible…not Sasuke-kun her eyes seemed to whisper, and something inside of him hurt, reacting to the sight of her pain. The pain he caused her.
Sakura--what an annoying girl. She shouldn't have been able to do this, not after all this time.
"You're in the Akatsuki base, Sakura," was all he said to her before he left, angling one last glance at her before he left.
He wished he hadn't.
Those betrayed green eyes were filming over with unshed tears.
-x-
Sakura didn't know how long she sat there, her mind reeling.
Sasuke…part of the Akatsuki. It seemed surreal, that he would join the organization that Itachi had belonged to, the one man that had ripped everything away from Sasuke, the reason he was here and not at home where he belonged.
Her body felt numb and cold with shock. It seemed unthinkable, Sasuke in an Akatsuki cloak.
His final betrayal to them.
I will never be like you or Naruto.
She should have listened to him then, when he had left the village and uttered those words. Perhaps if she had, pain wouldn't be gripping her every nerve, spiraling out of control.
Sakura had never believed it to be possible that Sasuke could hurt her again—hell, she had taken every precaution against it—but with one action he had made it so. He had gotten through those iron barriers that she had placed against him, had broken her heart into even more jagged, lovely pieces than he had so many years ago when she was screaming that she loved him, would do anything for him. When she was screaming to his turned back, which summed up their relationship perfectly.
It seemed the one thing Sasuke was good at was walking away.
It took Sakura ten minutes to realize that a few tears were sliding down her face. She could only hope that Sasuke hadn't seen them; after all, he had been the reason for her tears too many times. Not, of course, that her pain would affect him; it hadn't before.
Sakura laughed humorlessly, wiping furiously at her cheeks.
God, she hated that he still had this sort of power over her. Damn Sasuke. Stupid her, why couldn't she just move on? Really, it was sort of sick that he could return her to the Sakura of old with the act of donning the Akatsuki cloak, the biggest act of betrayal out there for a shinobi.
Betrayal…
For the second time in a half-hour, the face of a broken blond floated before her eyes, and Sakura choked on a sob.
Naruto. What would happen to Naruto when he found out what Sasuke had done? What Sasuke was now a part of? The very group that wanted Naruto dead…badly.
She never thought it to be possible, but in that moment, she hated Sasuke more than she ever thought she could.
She thought Naruto was his best friend. She thought he wasn't serious when he said he was breaking their bonds, that they meant absolutely nothing to him.
It appeared Sakura was dead wrong.
Dead wrong. Something Naruto would be, and soon if she didn't do something to stop it.
The mental image of blank cerulean eyes flashed before her, and Sakura almost clamped her hands over her ears, as if to block out her mental wailing at the thought.
Naruto was her best friend, the only person who had cared enough about her to stay, to worry, to see beyond her happy façade and be there for her when she needed it, whether she said so in words or whether he just knew.
She couldn't allow it to happen. Not to Naruto. She'd die before she watched the life, the one thing Naruto had in abundence, being beaten from him, stolen and violated.
Sakura hated Uchiha Sasuke so much she could have killed him in that moment.
She slumped into the futon and, for the first time in a very long time, silently cried herself to sleep.
-x-
When Sasuke got back, Sakura was face down in the futon. He hesitated a moment before rolling her over, surprised when she didn't wake—Sakura, a shinobi, should have felt this action. Her knee-jerk reaction, instilled into all of them, would have been to wake up and attack him unthinkingly.
The skin around her eyes was a bit red and puffy, even though it had been hours since he left, and her face was still slightly damp to the touch.
Sakura must have been crying, at least on and off, for hours.
Sasuke resisted the urge to swallow, reminding himself that Sakura's tears were none of his concern anymore. Really, he knew this was bound to happen. He shouldn't be so surprised at the sight of Sakura's broken, tear-stained face. He had seen it plenty of times before, and it did not affect him.
Impulsively, he adjusted her position, covering her with a blanket; her skin was wet with the sheen of cold sweat, and he wondered what she had to fear so much that her body reacted in such an extreme way. He frowned when she whimpered.
He straightened, sighing, and ran a hand through his hair before giving her one last inscrutiable look and striding out the door.
Perhaps he shouldn't have let her know that he was a part of the Akatsuki. Especially considering how he automatically reacted to her pain.
Unbelievable. He had thought his teammates didn't affect him anymore, had believed this so strongly when he saw the two of them at Orochimaru's base.
Uchiha Sasuke didn't like being wrong. He didn't like it one bit.
-x-
Sakura's body, exhausted and spent both mentally and emotionally, woke up around what she assumed was morning. She had no way of telling in the godforsaken room, and it left her feeling claustrophobic.
Sasuke was asleep in the bed opposite her, and agony made a brutal stab at her at the sight of him.
Sasuke…why?
She closed her eyes painfully, tears threatening to seep through the closed lids. She had thought she had outcried herself last night, but apparently not. 'I can't believe Sasuke left Konoha for power,' she thought bitterly. 'He has more power over me than I ever thought possible.'
Inhaling deeply, she attempted to rein in her rampant emotions. When she was sure had done so, she opened her eyes (which were clouded over with pain) and scanned the room. Unconciously, she was looking for that goddamn Akatsuki cloak of his; she wanted to rip it to shreds. It was childish, she knew, but Sasuke, it appeared, was more honest when furious.
Her eyes stopped and widened when she caught sight of a stack of medical books on the desk.
Her eyes fluttered over to Sasuke's back, her fingers tingling. Sasuke had gone out and gotten her medical books.
Biting her lip in indecision, Sakura made up her mind after moments of thinking. She got up and padded quietly over to the desk, grabbing the five heavy books and bringing them over to her futon. Cracking one of them open, she inhaled the scent of new books.
She glanced up at Sasuke once more, a tiny smile breaking across her face, before she gave her full attention to the book.
It was a start.
A/N--So this is me, Becca, writing the author's note for the chapter that Missa wrote. Um. Fear our logic?
But anyway. This is the part where I'm supposed to say something incredibly insightful and profound about the chapter or just the story as a whole, but...I got nothing. So we'll just pretend I had something deeply philosophical to share with you, yes? Yesyes.
OH, but guess what today is? MISSA'S BIRTHDAY. -dances- I'm fairly certain that she's already left home for the weekend, but be sure to wish her a happy birthday in your review, yeah? BECAUSE SHE PWNS YOUR SOUL. Toh-tah-lee. Thanks for reading!