Disclaimer: Nope. Kishimoto owns it. Someone should buy that boy a giant, heaping plate of humor for Christmas. (And a side dish of SasuSaku, please?)

When Sasuke entered his bedroom later that evening, he saw that Sakura was sprawled on her futon, writing something on paper that she had clearly swiped from Sasuke's desk. He considered calling her on it, before discarding the notion; if it kept her amused and occupied (and preferably away from Suigetsu), a few sheets of paper was little price to pay.

Sakura looked up as he approached her. "Hey, Sasuke," she murmured, "mind standing still for a minute?"

He paused, puzzled and wary, and Sakura took the opportunity to study him before turning back to her paper and scribbling something. "Cool, thanks."

As he came closer to set down her tray of food, he saw that she was not writing but drawing. He snatched up the paper in an instant, invoking Sakura's outraged "Hey!"

She scrambled to her feet and tried to grab it back, but Sasuke used his considerable height advantage to keep it out of her reach. As he held it up, he examined it. The first few drawings were of penguins wearing bling, then a Sun wearing sunglasses.

At the bottom of the page was a cartoon version of Sasuke himself, his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face. Above the picture was the caption 'SASUKE: Stupid, Arrogant, Selfish, Unpleasant, Keilhagawa, Egoistical.'

He turned a very chilly gaze on her. "'Keilhagawa'?" he repeated slowly.

Sakura nodded. "See, I couldn't think of a K word that described you, so I made one up. Keilhagawa: it means PMS-y in Sakuranese." She arranged her expression into an innocent look. A long, tense silence followed, prompting Sakura to wonder if it had upset Sasuke more than she'd thought it would. She'd drawn it partly to amuse herself and partly to ease her frustrations, and hadn't thought that Sasuke would actually see it.

Sasuke, for his part, was mildly ticked off, but not angry. Sakura appeared to be in a relatively good mood, and because he didn't feel like getting into another argument with her, he simply dropped the paper and stalked off towards the bathroom, keen on taking a shower.

Sakura listened to the water running for a minute before sitting back down on her futon and picking at her food. She had gone through the bag of clothing that Sasuke had bought her and was wearing black shorts and a green shirt. Sasuke had been surprisingly cooperative by going out and getting her more clothing so soon after she'd asked, but there was a problem: he hadn't gotten her any bras or panties or such things. (Of course, that really shouldn't surprise her, and the idea of Sasuke shopping for women's lingerie was absolutely ludicrous.)

This, however, left her with a dilemma: she desperately needed more, which meant she'd have to broach the subject with Sasuke. She cringed just thinking about it. Oh God, how mortifying. She envisioned the conversation.

"Hey, Sasuke, uh, I don't know if you were planning to, uh, go to Victoria's Secret anytime soon, but uh, if you were, would you mind picking me up various articles of underwear…? My bra size is a 30A, by the way."

She couldn't even picture Sasuke's reaction. When he emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, toweling off his hair, she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, instead fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

Her roommate didn't appear to notice as he turned out the light and climbed into his bed, his back to her. It occurred to Sakura that the conversation might be more bearable if Sasuke was half-asleep when they had it, so she waited for about half an hour before posing, "Sasuke?"

Sasuke, who had just been drifting off to sleep, ignored her in the hopes that she would simply drop it.

Instead, she tried again. "Hey, Sasuke?" When she again got no answer, she crawled closer to the bed and poked the back of his head. "Hey, Sasuke."

A disgruntled grunt.

Sakura withdrew her hand. "Um…I kind of need…er, well, first of all, thanks for getting me more clothes, really, it's just that I, uh…Ineedmorebrasandpanties," Sakura blurted out quickly.

"What?" Sasuke asked tiredly. He hadn't caught the last part, only something about clothes. If she thought that he was going to go buy her more just because she didn't like what he'd originally gotten her, she was in for a rude awakening.

Sakura steeled herself. "I need more bras and panties."

If Sasuke had been eating or drinking anything at the time, he would have choked. After a minute, he managed, "What?"

The green-eyed girl flushed and punched his shoulder. "I said, I need more bras and panties! Don't make me say it again, asshole!"

…Oh God, and he'd thought that shopping for regular clothing had been awkward. He was beginning to greatly regret the surge of compassion that had led him to imprison Sakura and save her from death.

Sasuke was very glad that he was facing away from her. "Hn."

Sakura bit her lip, not quite sure how to respond, so she settled for "Well, thanks, then…" and lying back down on her futon, drawing the blanket up over herself. She'd worry about it tomorrow.

-x-

Sakura shot to her feet the next morning when Sasuke threw a pillow at her. "What was that for?" she demanded angrily.

He didn't look at her as he finished tying the knot in his belt. "Be ready to go in half an hour."

Her eyes widened. "Go where?" He didn't answer, and she couldn't help but ask that damnable question. "Go…back to Konoha? Are you taking me home?" Maybe she'd been wrong all along, maybe he really was a good person and just—

"No," he snapped. "We're going into the village. So that you can…go shopping." Then he exited the room.

She choked back her disappointment. Hope is an awful thing, she reflected bitterly, especially when all your hopes rest on Sasuke's humanity.

And then it hit her that she was about to embark on a bra-shopping expedition with Sasuke. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Half an hour later, she was indeed ready to go. Sasuke returned and examined her from the corner of his eye before advancing and snatching her wrist, tugging her towards the door.

Sakura tried to pull her wrist back. "What are you doing? The door's gonna—"

She cut herself off when she passed through the doorway unharmed. Why hadn't it shocked her…? She looked to Sasuke, confused.

He released her wrist and went left down the hallway. "The shock is canceled when I'm in physical contact with you," he threw over his shoulder.

Ah, Sakura mused, storing away the information for future usage. She stood outside Sasuke's room, her gaze darting around her surroundings. They were in a hallway, a few closed doors scattered about—

"Don't even think about trying to escape," came Sasuke's voice, right next to her ear.

She jumped. "I wasn't," she protested defensively.

Sasuke snorted. "Right." He walked behind her from then on.

-x-

"Wow…so this is Hatekyo, huh?" Sakura asked rhetorically, her head swiveling this way and that. As far as she could tell, it looked pretty much like any other village. True, there were less people milling about, and the mood was…tense, almost like it was on the brink of something.

Also, many people were staring at Sasuke, but averted their eyes whenever his gaze came their way. Sakura was perplexed by it, but Sasuke appeared unfazed, so she didn't bring it up. Her spirits were high; after being trapped in a single room for so long, just getting out and being able to stretch her legs was great.

The Uchiha directed her to a women's clothing shop (the very same that Sasuke had purchased her clothes from yesterday). Standing outside it, Sasuke placed a large sum of money in her hand. "You have twenty minutes," he informed her. "If you're not out by then, I'm coming to get you. And it will not be pretty."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah." She couldn't help teasing him. "So I take it you're staying outside, then?"

She giggled in response to his glare, and had turned to enter the store when Sasuke mentioned offhand, "By the way, I can track you by your chakra-manacles."

The medic stiffened and turned back. Sasuke was leaning against the outside of the store, his hands in his pockets and his eyes closed, the very picture of nonchalance and repose. The scene reminded her so very much of all those times that they had waited on the bridge for Kakashi that Sakura wanted to punch someone. Instead she gave him the finger and stormed into the shop, slamming the door harder than necessary.

Inside, she mused that while staying in after twenty minutes and forcing Sasuke to enter the store and get her would be interesting, invoking his rage purely for amusement's sake wasn't a particularly wise course of action.

So she briskly collected what she needed and waited in line for the cash register. When it was her turn, the girl running it looked at Sakura, then her purchases, and then directed her gaze at Sasuke, who could be seen outside through the glass window.

She turned back. "So you're his girlfriend, huh? I told him that you'd need more than what he got for you."

Sakura blinked. "Um, what?"

The girl laughed, scanning the purchases. "Oh, nothing. It's just, that guy outside – your boyfriend? - came in here yesterday and bought a bunch of clothing, but nothing even vaguely underwear-related. I mentioned it to him, but he just glared at me."

"Oh. Yeah, that sounds like Sasuke. But he's not my boyfriend," Sakura felt it necessary to clear up.

It was the other girl's turn to blink. "Then why was he shopping for you?"

Sakura considered telling the other girl everything and beseeching her to somehow alert Konoha, but instead replied, "It's…complicated."

The attendant smiled slightly, telling Sakura the total amount due (which turned out to be little more than half of what Sasuke had given her). As she was handing Sakura the bag, she shrugged, "Well, it's not like I don't know all about complicated shit. Good luck with him. He seems a bit…tetchy."

Sakura smirked. "That's putting it mildly. Thanks, though." She waved to the other girl and left the store to stand beside Sasuke. "I'm done." She could feel her good mood evaporating as she resigned herself to being shut up in that room again for god-knows-how-long.

Sasuke opened one eye and examined her, noting her slumped shoulders and depressed expression. Was being trapped in that room really that awful? It was for her own good, but she didn't know that. There wasn't anything terribly important that he had to do that day…

"Is there anywhere else you want to go?" he asked.

Sakura stared at him. "What?"

He frowned at her. "You still have money left, right? You can shop or whatever for a few hours."

Sakura raised her eyebrows. "Really?" He shrugged. Sakura was almost tempted to ask if he was feeling okay. He was being uncharacteristically…nice. She smiled. "Thanks." He shrugged again and motioned for her to lead the way.

They wandered from store to store for about two hours; Sakura had never been terribly comfortable with buying things that she didn't need, so she didn't spend any money until they got to the toy store. It was there that she found a deck of Go Fish cards.

She picked them up, beaming. Go Fish had always been her favorite card game when she was younger. She turned to Sasuke, who was standing a few feet away. "Sasuke, if I buy these, will you play with me?" she asked.

He looked at the deck of cards in the small cardboard box, a picture of a cheerful cartoon fish on it. Then he turned his withering gaze on her. "You're kidding."

Sakura shook her head. "C'mon, Sasuke. Or could you at least let Suigetsu into your room so that he could play with me?" she tried.

He glared at her and examined his options. The stack of cards was the only thing that Sakura had shown any interest in buying, and he certainly wasn't going to let Suigetsu play with her. He sighed. "I'll play."

She grinned at him and practically skipped to the cash register to pay for it.

-x-

When Sakura had finished purchasing her cards, it was around noon, so Sasuke decided that they might as well buy lunch there before heading back. They stopped at a small café near the outskirts of the village.

Seated at a corner table, they ate their food in what was, while not exactly a comfortable silence, at least not an uncomfortable one. Sakura was a bit disconcerted by the attention that Sasuke (and, by association, she herself) was garnering. Some people were eyeing him warily; however, many girls were giggling and sneaking flirtatious glances at him.

Some things never change, Sakura sighed internally. She fidgeted, having finished her meal. "Sasuke?"

He glanced up, and she smiled at him. "Thanks." She didn't elaborate, but they both knew.

After a moment his face softened, and Sakura had a feeling that if he had been any other boy, had had any other past but his own, he would have smiled back. Instead he simply nodded and stood. "Stay here." He went up to the counter to pay.

Sakura fiddled with the straw in her glass and was just thinking that Hatekyo really wasn't as bad as she had expected when a couple of men (in ninja garb, she noticed) stumbled in, all clearly stoned. She wrinkled her nose distastefully at them. She hated people who abused drugs.

Two of them stood in line to order, but the third cast an unfocused eye around the dining area and staggered towards two civilian girls eating their lunch. He propped himself up on their table and leered at them. "Hey, how 'bout you two come eat with me and my friends over there?" he nodded towards the two men in line.

One cowered while the other said hesitantly, "No thank you, we were just leaving." They tried to get up, but them man blocked their way.

"Don't be like that!" he bade, his eyes shining with something very close to cruelty.

If there was one thing Sakura hated more, however, it was to watch defenseless, innocent bystanders being bullied.

Sakura stood up. "Leave them alone, jackass. They aren't bothering you."

The man slowly turned to her. "And what do we have here?" he drawled. "A little girl who doesn't know her place?"

Sakura sneered at him. "More like a little girl who's going to kick your ass if you keep harassing them." She turned to the two girls, offering them a reassuring smile. "You can leave, it's okay."

They nodded, whispering a 'thank you' as they passed her. The man watched them go before turning back to Sakura. "You know what I hate even more than interfering bitches? Interfering bitches with obnoxious hair!" And with that, he charged at her, fists raised.

Oh, he did not just go there, Sakura thought grimly as she slid into a defensive position. Before he could strike her (or attempt to), however, a voice cut in, low and calm. "Don't touch her."

Sakura and the man turned to see Sasuke strolling towards them, his hands in his pockets and his eyes hooded—typical Sasuke behavior. What made Sakura want to take a step was the aura radiating off of him. It made her remember: Sasuke was dangerous.

The man was too far gone to notice. "Another punk?" he scoffed, readying himself to go at Sasuke.

He was stopped by his friends, who had been attracted by the commotion. "Hey, man, knock it off," one hissed. "Don't you remember? That guy's part of the Akatsuki!"

Sakura flinched. She'd almost forgotten. Sasuke had been so thoughtful, letting her shop and taking her out to lunch…it had been like he had never left the village, had never joined Akatsuki…

The men scurried off and Sasuke stepped closer to Sakura, examining her. "You're okay?" he confirmed.

"Of course I am," Sakura snapped. She shoved by him and stalked out of the café.

Sasuke stared after her. She had been in such a good mood before, but now she was back to treating him like the scum of the earth and he had no idea why. He scowled and started after her.

-x-

That night, Sakura looked up at Sasuke, who had turned towards her in his sleep. His face was still and beautiful and so achingly familiar.

Don't fool yourself, Haruno, a nasty voice sniped. He's not your Sasuke-kun anymore.

I know, she mourned, curling up in a ball, I know.

A/N: Is it just me or do Sakura's moods fluctuate way too much? -.- I think it's just because Missa's good at writing angry!Sakura and I'm...not. So I make her happy but then eventually force her back to angry because like, she should be angry. But like, yeah. That was Becca's tale of woe. I hope you all enjoyed it. Happy Holidays! =)