A/N: Thanks for the hits and reviews (YAY – 2! Thanks to Fanwriter95 and Aelimir)!! Apparently, I'm not the only person who randomly tries to figure out which fictional characters are best embodied by their pets! Btw – changed the story to 1st person to better show the different POVs.

Chapter 2: the eve of destruction

Edward POV

I sauntered into the dining room, finding Emmett under the table in his usual spot. "Poor Seth, he is really worried about how the people will react, especially Ma'am. It probably didn't help when I told him that she was thinking the other day about moving the feeder so Seth didn't break any dishes the next time he misjudged the distance. Frankly, I think that works in his favor. She'll just be mad at herself since she already identified this as a possible outcome."

"Yeah, Mister will just laugh at her, then she'll be pissed at him! You'd think he'd learn, after the week he spent on the couch last year; but he always goes with his gut reaction. That's why we get along so well!" Emmett twitched his tail at the thought. Hmmm, he just got me a whole new bale of hay. I'm feeling a little grazing action coming on. I think I'll mosey on back to the porch and find myself a snack. This phone cord just isn't cutting it anymore.

"You really do have a bond with him. Of course, he is the one who adopted you, so I guess that is natural." I was trying to stretch out the conversation to give Seth enough time. I heard him thinking about going back to the porch, so I racked my brain for another conversation topic. "Mister seems to only tolerate Seth for his entertainment value and because Ma'am is attached to him." That seemed to work. Emmett started thinking about some of the more embarrassing scrapes Seth had gotten into and momentarily forgot about getting a snack.

Images ran through Emmett's mind of Seth's various episodes. Like whenever he tried to get you to play by annoying you with little swipes with his paw every 10 seconds. You always wait until he least expect it and then pin him down and give him a good bite!

"Or when he tries to eat the people's food and they keep knocking him off the table…he jumps right back up like they knocked him down by accident. Ma'am tries to 'punish' him by not giving him any food after they eat, but he never understands." I kept up the reminiscing, trying to give Seth a little more time. And, it was pretty fun to think of all the silly things he's done in the last year.

"How about the time that he tried to jump from the couch to the coffee table and I kept moving the table a few inches at a time so he couldn't judge the distance! I was laughing so hard I could barely keep from doing flips! When he landed with his paws just barely hanging on, and slowly slipped down to the ground, I lost it!" My idiot brother got caught up in the memory, and was laughing so hard that he didn't notice the low growl that escaped from me.

Quickly, I checked in with Seth and realized that for a change he had perfect timing. Everything was set on the porch, it was time to put this plan into action. And none too soon, I couldn't control my rage anymore. I leaned in and nipped at Emmett's ear; that usually got him pretty riled up. "That was me you idiot!" I can't believe he forgot he had pranked me in the coffee table incident, not Seth. This cold revenge would be so sweet.

Seth POV

Once Edward agreed to help me out, I ran straight to the back porch. Emmett was already in his usual spot in the dining room, so I asked Edward to go distract him. The stupid rodent is under the table eating another cord. Go entertain him while I get to work please. I got right to work, trying to be quiet so Emmett wouldn't notice what was going on.

The first thing that had to be done was clear the porch of anything edible…and by edible I mean anything that Emmett would consider eating. That meant I had to get pretty much everything either off the porch or stashed high enough so he couldn't reach it. For the amount of time he'd be stuck out there, he wouldn't resort to the plastic food bowls or the wooden hutch, so I was able to move everything else out myself. I nosed the phone book into the kitchen and managed to stash it beside the fridge. Like Emmett, my appetite included a lot of non-typical foods, so I managed to choke down most of the edible food type things out there. I pulled the new bag of hay out to the kitchen and shoved it into one of the cabinets.

All that was left was the piece de resistance – the kale! I used the towel Ma'am had hanging on the door of the fridge to open it and leapt onto the lower shelf. I used my claws to pry open the drawer wide enough to stick my whole paw in, and then opened up the drawer all the way. Of course, I fell in while doing this! I grabbed the bag of kale in my mouth and jumped out of the drawer. Most of the kale fell out before I landed, but I just shoved it all back in the bag. I jumped up against the drawer a few times to try and shove it back in…I got it pretty close and then got the fridge door closed.

On the porch, I took the kale and tied it to a string. I left it on the ground then took the other end of the string and climbed to the top of the shelving unit. I pulled the kale up about 5 feet…just low enough to taunt him but way too high for him to reach. I tied it off and chewed off the remainder of the string. It would be just my luck I'd leave enough string for him to reach and somehow get it loose from the ground! That wasn't going to happen today!

I had just gotten down from the shelving unit, taking a minute to survey my work when I heard the action in the dining room. First, I heard Emmett laughing extremely loud, and then the unmistakable growl from Edward that meant business. Man, Emmett must have pissed him off big time! I wonder if he fessed up to the coffee table business.

Edward streaked into the kitchen and then directly onto the porch. He growled as he passed me, but it was more like a "good job, let's get him" growl than a "you're next, go hide" growl. I got into position behind the door, ready to close it as soon as Edward came back out.

The started fighting, so I climbed up onto the counter so I could watch through the door's window. This way, I could see all the action but still close the door when necessary.

Emmett stamped his feet, like he always did when he wanted to show aggression. Edward's ears were flat against his head, his tail puffed up bigger than mine normally was! His eyes were solid black, probably due to the bright sunshine coming through the window, but they were menacing nonetheless. He leapt at Emmett, getting a good swipe in across his face.

Emmett twirled around and hopped on top of the hutch Edward was crouching in. I could see Edward hesitate, unsure how to get out without Emmett landing on him. Then he remembered that Emmett was easy to outsmart, so he simply stuck his head out as if he was going to dart out, but then pulled it back in just as quickly. Emmett took the bait and toppled down, right in front of Edward.

By now, he must have been noticing that some things were missing, because Edward suddenly looked over at me and flipped his tail. That was our sign. I jumped down, to be in a better position to close the door; I pushed the door almost closed, leaving just enough room for Edward to escape through. I heard Edward jump over Emmett and dive through the small opening I had left for him and I quickly slammed the door.

Edward and I then rolled over a large bottle of soda to help barricade the door. Emmett had never successfully busted out before, but he'd also never had as much driving him to try! We were taking no chances.

We both jumped on to the counter to watch our revenge unfold. For about 5 minutes, Emmett just walked around the porch, nervously sniffing and twitching.

"He's taking inventory, wondering where everything is. He hasn't noticed the door is shut yet, although how he missed you slamming it, I'll never know." Edward kept me in the loop about what was going through Emmett's mind. I let out a little meow of happiness, and Emmett looked right up at me. "Well, now he's noticed the door! Nice going Seth." Edward swished his tail, hitting me in the back of the head.

"Aw, Edward, he won't get free! And I wanted to see his reaction when he realized he was trapped in there without anything to eat!" He hadn't noticed the kale yet, but I knew that Edward would be pretty mad if I tried to point that out. We hunkered down, patiently watching as Emmett searched the porch thoroughly for anything edible. When he didn't find anything, he lay down on the floor of the hutch and twitched miserably.

"He's thinking maybe he should lay off on the pranks for a little while. And he is also wondering just how bad the food bowl might be for him. Not that he cares about his health, but he doesn't want to wind up at the vet, like when he ate the box of ribbons last Christmas."

"If he's really hungry, he'll notice the kale soon." I was impatient, but I whispered that to Edward in Felish, not wanting Emmett to understand. Edward's glare told me that I better keep my mouth shut, or he wasn't going to let me watch anymore. I did just that, and boy was it worth it!

A/N: Thanks for reading…sorry for the cliffie but I wanted to get something up to see if people were still interested in the story. Plus, I wanted to devote a whole chapter to how Emmett was feeling during the fight and to his ultimate destruction of the porch.

Don't forget to read my other (much better) stories: "Black Friday Alice Cullen Style" and "Destiny of Dreams"!!

And PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW…maybe we can get up to 5 this time!! I want to know if I should continue the story or not!!