A/N: Thanks for the hits and reviews and favorite (YAY – 4! Thanks to Fanwriter95 and Aelimir)!! Sorry for the long time between updates, but I've been pretty busy with my other stories! Thanks for indulging my bizarre creativity! I've finally uploaded some pics of my pets that are featured in this story, so check out the link in my profile!

Chapter 3: those evil cats

Emmett POV

I was relaxing in the dining room in my favorite spot, reliving Seth's crash from earlier over and over in my mind. It got better each time! Edward walked over to me and broke into my daydreams. "Poor Seth, he is really worried about how the people will react, especially Ma'am. It probably didn't help when I told him that she was thinking the other day about moving the feeder so Seth didn't break any dishes the next time he misjudged the distance. Frankly, I think that works in his favor. She'll just be mad at herself since she already identified this as a possible outcome."

"Yeah, Mister will just laugh at her, then she'll be pissed at him! You'd think he'd learn, after the week he spent on the couch last year; but he always goes with his gut reaction. That's why we get along so well!" I twitched my tail happily; I really got along well with Mister. Hmmm, he just got me a whole new bale of hay. I'm feeling a little grazing action coming on. I think I'll mosey on back to the porch and find myself a snack. This phone cord just isn't cutting it anymore.

"You really do have a bond with him. Of course, he is the one who adopted you, so I guess that is natural." Edward was rambling on about something, but I was really getting hungry. "Mister seems to only tolerate Seth for his entertainment value and because Ma'am is attached to him." Oh man, he's right, Seth really is rather entertaining!

I thought about some of the funnier things he'd done, reliving one in my mind for Edward to see. Like whenever he tried to get you to play by annoying you with little swipes with his paw every 10 seconds. You always wait until he least expects it and then pin him down and give him a good bite!

"Or when he tries to eat the people's food and they keep knocking him off the table…he jumps right back up like they knocked him down by accident. Ma'am tries to 'punish' him by not giving him any food after they eat, but he never understands." Edward jumped in with this one; he is always so protective of Ma'am, I just think she is silly to try to teach Seth anything.

"How about the time that he tried to jump from the couch to the coffee table and I kept moving the table a few inches at a time so he couldn't judge the distance! I was laughing so hard I could barely keep from doing flips! When he landed with his paws just barely hanging on, and slowly slipped down to the ground, I lost it!" I was cracking up when I remembered this one. Seeing his tiny orange cat paws clinging to the table and then slip down. Oh wait, orange paws? Was that a growl from Edward? Uh oh…

"That was me you idiot!" The offended cat leaned in and nipped at my ear; that was a surefire way to start a fight. He was in for it now! I chased him through the kitchen and straight onto my porch.

I started the fight in my normal fashion, stamping my feet in a display of aggression; I was bigger and stronger than that stupid orange cat, even if he did think he was the king of the house. He went into attack mode as well, and I planned my opening move, trying to think of the opposite thing to confuse the annoying mind-reading feline. He leapt at me and swiped with his paw, but missed as I flipped up onto the hutch. He ran into it and began to cower underneath me, probably afraid of my wrath.

I sat up a little taller, knowing there was no way he could get out without me knowing. He only had one way out, and I was guarding it. The first step he took toward the door and I would be on him like white on rice. I waited patiently for his tiny head to peak out; really, compared to his body, his head was rather small, but then again he had a lot of fuzzy hair that made up for it.

While I was waiting, I noticed that things looked a little out of place out here. Some of my stuff was missing..strike that, a LOT of my stuff was missing. Oh wait, here comes that darn cat. He peeked his head out and I struck. I leapt down and landed directly on top of...NOTHING! Shoot, I rolled over and saw him jump over me and sprint out the door to the kitchen.

Ok, I'd worry about stupid Edward later. I better assess the damage out here and figure out what is missing. Probably Seth trying to get back at me for earlier. I'll take an inventory.

Water dish? Check

Food bowl? Check

Food in bowl? Negative

Hay bale? Negative

Apple ma'am gave me this morning? Negative

Phonebook? Negative

extra phone cord I smuggled out here from Mister's work stuff and hid in my hutch? NEGATIVE!!!

OKAY! Now I was starting to get worried! I was twitching involuntarily, not sure how either of them even knew where to find all my secret snacks. Just then, I heard a smug meow coming from the other side of the door...WHAT? They locked me out here? Those cats are going DOWN, as soon as I break free.

Back to my inventory now; I needed to figure out what I had to eat and what I had to help me escape. After a few more minutes of looking around, it seemed obvious that they had done a good job of clearing out my porch. All I had was my hutch, my now-empty food bowl and a couple of swallows of water in my water bowl. Hmm, the people would be home in a couple hours, but it would be a long couple of hours without food. Maybe I should rethink the whole pranking the cats thing, especially if they were going to keep working together against me.

I retreated back to my "thinking place; "in my hutch. I looked around again and realized that not only were all my secret snacks gone, but pretty much everything I could reach was gone! What the heck would they need to get rid of all the containers and other things that I had no use for and couldn't eat? I'd have to keep looking around to see what else was going on out here.

In the meantime, I was really getting hungry. I eyed up my plastic food bowl appraisingly. And then I remembered the torturous visit to the vet after I ate the box of bows last Christmas; the bowl was probably going to result in a similar situation. I did NOT want a repeat of that; I shuddered and twitched just thinking about it.

I happened to glance up at the shelving unit and that's when I realized their master plan…somehow, they had managed to secure a bundle of my absolute favorite to the shelving, just above my reach. But they didn't know how persistent I could be; that kale was going to be MINE!

My first step was to shove my hutch over and see if it got me to high enough to jump up and reach it. I had been working on the height of my jumps lately, so perhaps they underestimated me. They thought they were such great jumpers, but I was the king of jumping! I was so good at jumping, I should have been Mexican, and a bean! After about 20 minutes, I managed to get the whole hutch lined up underneath the kale. I hopped up on it and gave it a go. No dice; it was definitely too high for even my best jump.

Time for Plan P…P as in Pans. They left the assorted pans that Ma'am stored out here just lying around on the lower shelves, begging for me to use them. I pulled them out one by one with my teeth and negotiated them up onto the top of the hutch. Soon enough, I had a nice stack that would get me to the height I needed. It looked a little unstable, so I thought I might only have one or two chances. I decided to take a running start and use it as a springboard to get the best height on my kale approach.

I backed as far away as possible, trying to give myself room to get up as much speed as I could. I sprinted toward my makeshift ladder and leapt onto the topmost pan. I channeled all my energy into my bounce and pushed off with my amazingly strong back legs. I sailed through the air and the scent of kale was getting tantalizing closer. It was zooming toward me in my immediate field of vision and suddenly I flew right by it! Luckily, the rope holding it was still within range and I quickly chomped down on it.

At this point, I noticed that there was quite a bit of noise coming from below me. I peeked down and saw that all the pans I had carefully stacked up had now scattered in disarray in all directions off of the hutch. Oh well, that was OK, I could just land back down on the hutch.

Well, I could have, until one of the larger pans slid into the second level of this shelving unit, knocking a large, heavy bottle off the back, which fell down onto the bottom shelf and rolled forward, gaining momentum with the slight tilt the bottom shelf had. By the time it reached the front of the shelf, it was moving quite rapidly and when it hit the hutch, the whole combination sailed clean across the porch. CRAP! Now how was I going to get down? I learned a long time ago that this was much too high to jump down from; yet another scary series of vet visits, and leg casts just didn't do anything for my image, if you know what I mean.

So, I was left with limited options. It seemed like I might be able to shimmy down the rope a little lower and then maybe swing onto one of the shelves. I could just hang out there until the people came home; sitting on the shelf for a few hours would surely beat hanging by my teeth or plunging to certain maiming!

Alas, that is when things really started to go bad. I slowly worked myself down the rope toward the kale, barely noticing that my action was causing both the rope and the whole shelving unit to sway. Once I reached the tip of the kale, my animal instincts just took over and I started chowing down! Luckily, before I had completely chewed myself apart from my lifeline, a jolt startled me back to reality. Unluckily, that jolt was the rope pulling taunt at the end of its swing, which had me practically horizontal it was so wide! I panicked as soon as I realized how wildly the motion was, and that was the worst thing I could have done. Somehow, I managed to increase the momentum of the swing with my jerk and now I was seconds away from crashing into the shelving unit. And not nicely onto a shelf, but directly into the shelf itself!

With no other options, I braced myself for the hit and pushed all my paws out for first impact. Just before I hit, the whole thing came crashing down around me, a 15 pound swinging rabbit apparently too much for it to handle. Because of my amazing abilities to maneuver around falling objects, I managed to squeeze in between the falling shelves and land on top of the mess that was now scattered all over my precious porch.

I took a few minutes to take in the scene; oh man, the people were going to be MAD! I couldn't even count the number of broken things. As I glanced around, I noticed that the force of the crash had somehow managed to release the door! The cats must have jumped from their perch, so they didn't notice it was open yet. I quickly bounded over to it and snuck into the kitchen. No sign of the cats yet. I was the lucky one that didn't have a collar…they would never hear me coming!

Time for the rabbit's revenge!!

A/N: So, should I continue???

Don't forget to read my other (much better) stories: "Black Friday Alice Cullen Style", "Outtakes" and "Destiny of Dreams"!!