04. Angsty

Backwards Time Skip - Cybertron

It was stupid, thinking everything would be okay, thinking things could go back to normal. Of course Sunstreaker wasn't going to accept what had happened and be happy with it. Even before all this slag had started, he would have considered it beneath him. Sideswipe knew the Decepticons operated differently. They prized strength above everything else, after all. It made perfect sense to such creatures that any sort of remark or look that could in any way be taken as a challenge would be met with swift, physical violence. They'd all learned that the hard way those first orns after Sunny had woken up.

He'd thought they could deal with it. That maybe, with Sideswipe there, Sunny would calm down. He thought he could get his brother back.

It had been a stupid hope.

Sideswipe didn't even know what had happened, though he doubted it was something as simple as a fight. He knew what Sunny was capable of. It wasn't always firsthand knowledge, but he'd seen the aftermath. He'd heard the stories.

They'd called him a monster.

It was his fault. Sideswipe should have never let him walk away that night. Sunny had made his intentions clear, then, but Sideswipe had blown them off like so much hot exhaust. But Sunstreaker had been serious and it soon became apparent that he was not coming back; he'd joined Megatron. Sideswipe should have gone after him, should have dragged him back, kicking and screaming.

But he hadn't.

He'd known then that Megatron was a menace. Sideswipe wasn't exactly made of chrome and shine but even he had his limits. In all honesty, he had expected Sunstreaker to see the error of his ways and come back. They'd never been separated for so long, never been alone. Sideswipe felt the wear on their link and knew that for Sunny, it had to be worse. He'd succumb soon and come back and then they would apologize like they always did and everything would go back to normal. But it had dragged on and on. Sideswipe had felt the strain building and had tried several times to contact his wayward brother. Sunny never responded.

And then, one orn, Sunstreaker cut himself off entirely.

Sideswipe didn't remember much after that. All he knew was that he'd woken up in the med bay some time later with a raging ache in his processor to find Ratchet standing over him and the tight-aft Second in Command waiting to escort him to the brig. Things were different after that. The stories only got worse and try as he might, Sideswipe could not bring himself to smile anymore.

But the worst part, the very worst, was that no one seemed to notice. Or maybe they didn't care. The purpose of war, after all, was to kill the other guy and after the first ten vorns, it was hard to find anyone smiling. So really, it was nothing out of the ordinary. The only one who seemed to realize what had happened was the Prime himself; he was a busy guy, however, and there was little he could do except limit Sideswipe's time in the brig. It was all done behind his officers' backs, of course, and Sideswipe was grateful. But it didn't help. Nothing helped. Nothing would help the awful void inside him where his brother used to be.

And then they'd found him—Sunny—lying in a crater in a puddle of his own fluids. Most of his armor was gone and his innards were lying strewn over the ground. He was barely online. Sideswipe had never seen his brother in such bad shape. And Sunny, who was still somehow aware enough to sense that someone was standing over him, had looked up and his optics met Sideswipe's. He'd just stared. Hadn't said a word. Just stared for the nano-klik before his fuel pump stuttered, coughed, and fell silent and Sunny's eyes had dimmed as he slipped into stasis-lock.

Sideswipe had never been so happy to see another mech in his life.

That elation soon died as it became apparent just how damaged Sunstreaker really was. It wasn't just the physical wounds; Ratchet had patched Sunny up without a hitch. It was after that, when they'd tried to get him to mingle, that Sideswipe began to first suspect that his brother wasn't all right. Something in Sunstreaker had changed.

No, Sideswipe hadn't expected the Autobots to welcome his brother with open arms. There were too many who had lost friends to him, too many who had suffered because of Sunny's actions. What he didn't expect was the level of hostility Sunstreaker had shown against everyone. Even him.

It was no surprise, then, that something had happened. And Sideswipe could only hope that the information he had come across had gotten no further because if it had, then there was nothing he could do.

That was how he found himself hunkered behind some rubble in the southern district of the Tagon heights, staring at his pulse rifle and listening for the scuffling of an approaching 'bot.

Sideswipe, by nature, was an easy-going mech. He liked to smile, liked to get a laugh out of others. He liked high grade. He liked winning. He especially liked the thrill of charging head-long into a cluster of surprised Decepticons and bashing their heads together. Throughout Sideswipe's long and colorful career in the slums of Kaon, he had seen gruesome things. But, being the mech he was, he had taken it in stride, cracked a joke, and silently vowed that such a thing would never happen to him, that he himself would never fall so far.

Until now.

He would not lose Sunny again.

Somewhere amongst the debris something crunched and Sideswipe tensed, audios strained, rerouting additional power to his optics. For a long moment there was silence. Then a hiss, hydraulics, and a figure peered around the last standing wall of a building just down the road. Sideswipe felt his cables draw taut.

Dropshaft.

The small green mech stood still for a long moment, the side of his head the only exposed part of him. Sideswipe felt the faint tingle as the smaller bot's scans drifted over his frame. The other Autobot tensed for just a moment, before relaxing and stepping out into the pockmarked street.

"Oh, Primus, you scared me," Dropshaft said. "What are you doing hiding back there?"

He took a few steps towards the mound of rubble and in the dim light, Sideswipe could see his smile start to go crooked.

"Cliffjumper?" Dropshaft said.

Then Sideswipe stood and Dropshaft's optic shutters drew back. He knew in the next instant the 'bot would radio headquarters and he could not have that.

"Sorry," he said and raised his rifle.

Hopefully everyone had a decent Gluttony Day. Thank you cmdrtekk, Fanatical-Chick, Elita One, and Thing With No Talent for their reviews. Also, thank you to those who added this story to their favorites and alerts. Logging on and seeing that I have reviews is like freaking Christmas.