Kyle Broflovski had the most annoying alarm clock in the world. This particular alarm clock would never break, could not be unplugged or silenced and was always coming up with new and painful ways to get Kyle out of bed. The alarm clock's name was Ike Broflovski, Kyle's younger brother, child prodigy. No matter what state Kyle, South Park or the world was in, Ike was there, waking Kyle up every single morning at precisely 6:00 am.

On that particular morning, the morning of February the 10th, Kyle's very special alarm clock decided to use his peacefully sleeping older brother's slightly out-of-control hair as a throne. As a result, Kyle was woken up at six o'clock on February the 10th by Ike's bony butt crushing into his forehead.

"Oy," Kyle groaned sleepily, "gerrof my face." Or at least, that's what he tried to say. Due to the sweatpants and lower half of a nine-year-old being positioned over his face and therefore mouth, Kyle's words came out more like a very muffled 'guff mrph foo', which didn't really make any sense at all. Of course, being a child prodigy, which mean that he had to be at least sort of smart, Ike was only pretending not to understand his older brother.

Kyle tried again. "Ike, get the fuck off of my head right now or I swear to God I'll get 'kick the 4th grader' sworn in as an Olympic sport."

"What'd you say, Kyle?" Ike asked, giggling.

"I said," he paused to give the dark haired nine-year-old a shove, "get the off my fucking face, Ike!" Ike tumbled to the ground in a giggling and very undignified and unprodigylike heap.

"Well why didn't you just say so before?" he asked innocently.

Kyle rolled his eyes in frustration. "I did, you little fucker, and you heard me."

Ike pouted. "That's not very nice of you to say," he pointed out.

"Yeah well," Kyle frowned, "you should be used to it. Sitting on my head with that stupid bony Canadian butt of yours isn't very nice either."

"True, I suppose. And don't worry, I'm already used to it," Ike informed his older brother, pout swapped for a grin only a 4th grader could give. "But you're up now, anyway, and that's what matters."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for getting me up without breaking any bones, Ike," Kyle mumbled, "You want me to walk with you like usual, right?"

Ike nodded. "And you want me to make breakfast, like usual?"

Kyle nodded vigorously and Ike giggled. "What?" Kyle asked. "You think having this big of an appetite is funny?"

"No," Ike said with another giggle, "only the way your hair moves when you nod before you brush it in the mornings."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. Get out. I have to change and you have to make some breakfast."

"Yup!" Ike exclaimed, and bounded out the door and down the stairs to go prepare some food.

Amongst the many things that Ike was a prodigy at, cooking seemed by far the most useful and awesome. The kid loved it, and everything he made tasted positively divine.

In many ways, Kyle envied his adopted brother, Ike the prodigy. Kyle had always been a smart kid, but he was never as smart as Ike was. And he couldn't cook. I mean, he wasn't as a bad of a cook as Stan, or say, Tweek, but he couldn't really cook anything that hadn't, like, come out of a box. Ike, however, was almost at Mrs. Cartman level, which was commonly acknowledged as the most high and godly level of culinary skill. But if he thought about it, Kyle was much more glad to have Ike be his brother than he ever envied him anything.

Even if he didn't always show it, Kyle loved Ike more than anyone else in his family. In fact, Kyle loved Ike more than anyone in the entire world, although Stan was a close second. A VERY close second.

That reminded him… he was supposed to have called Stan last night. Something about… oh yeah. Kyle slapped his forehead with his palm. Jewish Hereditary Trait: forehead slapping when you remember something you had forgotten, like someone's name, a phone call or some very old knishes.

"Oy vey," he said softly, "the Sadie Hawkins dance." Oh well, Kyle thought, it doesn't really matter. I'll just talk to him about it at school today.

"Kyle!" Ike called, interrupting Kyle's reverie. "C'mon, Kyle, breakfast's ready: I made omelets!"

Kyle got up quickly from where he was still sitting on his bed and rushed about the bathroom, tidying his curly hair a little and changing his shirt. He grabbed a thin, silver chain with a tiny porcelain and silver pendant dangling from it from off his bedside table and clasped it around his neck, the tiny, dainty star falling just below the collar of his shirt. He untucked it so that the blue and silver magen was clearly visible, then slipped his arms into the sleeves one of Stan's jackets, which he'd left at Kyle's house a few days previous.

"Be right down, Ike!" Kyle called back as he seized his back pack and flicked off the lamp on his bedside table. For something else, Kyle might not have hurried so much, but this was omelets. Everything Ike cooked was amazing, but his omelets… were, well, divine. But every second that they were allowed to cool down took away some of the godliness, so it was only a matter of time before they became just fantastic, and THAT was something Kyle didn't want to risk. Since Ike had learned how to cook, Kyle had been able to sympathize with Cartman more, at least about eating.

o o o

Kyle sat down to breakfast at around 6:45 am, just as his parents were first stirring and thinking of getting up. He settled into his usual place, across the table from Ike and dug into his potato, leek and basil omelet with the kind of voracious appetite that only a slightly nervous teenage boy can have without being starved for several weeks. A few minutes and a half an omelet later, he paused to try to actually chew his food (which is, of course, a joke, he had been chewing, just quickly. But that's really not the point.).

"Hey, Ike," Kyle asked, cutting off another piece of omelet and placing it delicately into his mouth.

"Yeah?" Ike mumbled through a mouthful of egg, cheese and potato.

"Uh, what're you reading?"

"Um. Othello."

"Oh, neat. I didn't really get into Shakespeare until middle school."

Ike grinned childishly, "That's why I'm the prodigy and you're just my brother," he said.

Kyle glowered at him across the table with faux animosity. The two engaged in an impromptu staring contest, each looking comically caustic and straight-faced. A few minutes later, Ike returned to his book, still staring at his brother, then, suddenly stuck out his tongue over the edge of his Complete Works of William Shakespeare. Kyle cracked up. It was hard for the two to even pretendto be angry at each other for very long. "You done?" Kyle asked as he finished the last drop of milk from the carton.

Ike nodded.

"Okay, then you just get your stuff and I'll clean up. Then we can go."

"'Kay," he said and hopped down out of his chair. It was sort of sad how short Ike was and Kyle couldn't help but laugh at the height difference once he was out of the booster seat their mom had installed in Ike's chair so he could reach the table easier.

As Ike gathered his school things, Kyle cleared off the table, leaving his parent's omelets on the table for when they finally admitted that they were awake. By seven o'clock, the Broflovski brothers were ready to go.

"Don't forget your jacket, Ike," Kyle teased, "it might get cold today." The joke was an old one. As anyone who spent even five minutes in South Park knew, it was ALWAYS cold.

Ike grinned. "I don't know, Kyle," he said, eyes wide in mock sincerity, and peeped out the window onto the snowy lawn. "It looks like it's going to be sunny today."

"I know it does now, Ike," Kyle said, fighting laughter (a joke with your little brother as old as this one never actually gets old), "but there might be snow later or something, so you should probably bring it."

"You're right." Ike wrapped a long, blue scarf around his neck and grabbed his big brother's hand, tugging him towards the door. "Come on. I wanna get there a little early."

Kyle opened the door and raised a single, red eyebrow.

Ike blushed.

"Who is it?" Kyle asked as they stepped out the door. "She cute? I mean, assuming it's a girl."

Ike made a face. "Of course!"

"Not of course, you didn't learn the whole 'liking girls' thing from me."

"Nope, I guess not," Ike giggled. "But no, she's not cute. She's BEAUTIFUL." He drew out the syllables for emphasis like any typical elementary-schooler describing his first crush. "Although…" his eyes glinted mischievously as he paused to glance at Kyle, "she's not as pretty as Stan."

Kyle glared at him. "You know, I wasn't kidding about the whole 'making kick the 4th grader an Olympic sport' thing."

"I wasn't kidding about Stan being pretty."

Kyle laughed. "Ike, you fag."

Ike stuck out his tongue impishly. "You too."

The Broflovski brothers chatted idly for the next few minutes when Kyle realized that his prodigal brother had once again steered the conversation away from a subject he didn't want to talk about. "Well," he said, interrupting Ike mid-sentence, "you sure know how to steer a conversation, don't you, Ike?"

"Yup," Ike said, smiling a lop-sided smile only a 4th grader could give.

"So," Kyle grinned at Ike and tousled his black hair, "who is she?"

Ike glowered at him. He'd been trying so hard to make sure he wouldn't have to tell.

"Oh, come on, you know who I like."

"Everyone in South Park knows who you like, Kyle," Ike pointed out, causing Kyle to mutter something under his breath about suffragettes. "But okay," he relented, "I'll tell you. But you have to promise not to tell Kenny."

"Gee, I dunno Ike, I was really looking forward to letting him know who my little brother has his eyes on. I thought maybe he could give you some relationship pointers," Kyle replied sarcastically. "Can I tell, say, Stan, then?"

Ike frowned. "No. No telling anyone. Promise pinky swear?"

Kyle sighed. "Promise pinky swear."

"Good."

"So?"

"Um. Katie." Ike blushed a deep red, like a diminutive black-topped strawberry.

Kyle nodded. That made sense. Now he understood why Ike didn't want him talking about it with Kenny. Not that he would anyway. He grinned. "Well, personally, speaking as your brother, I think you could do a lot better."

Ike glowered moodily and refused to talk to him for the next few minutes, walking a little bit ahead and kicking at the snow.

"Oh, come on Ike, I was only kidding!" Kyle said finally, covering the distance between himself and the small Canadian boy ahead of him. "Besides, it's not like I'm the world's leading expert in pretty girls, even if I do top the list of 'Nicest Asses in South Park'," Kyle winked and Ike giggled.

"Nope, not really," Ike agreed. "I'll see you later, okay? Bye, bye!"

Kyle hadn't really noticed that they had already arrived in front of the yellow brick building in which he had spent five of the strangest years of his life. He smiled and bent over to encompass his adopted little brother in a goodbye hug.

"Oy! Kyle get off me!" Ike tried kicking Kyle away. "Stop it!"

"Alright! Alright! What, scared your little girlfriend's going to see you giving your big brother a hug and think you're a pussy or something?" Kyle teased, relenting and giving him a playful shove towards the school playground where a blond girl wearing a very familiar parka, hood down, stood waving at Ike with mittened hands.

Ike began to rush off towards her, but turned around at the last minute to give Kyle a quick hug as if to prove that he didn't care who thought he was a pussy. Or maybe it was just because he was nervous. "Hey Katie!" he called, promptly tripping over his long scarf and falling directly into the snow at the girl's feet. Kyle grinned.

Kenny's little sister WAS cute, in her own little girl kind of way, and she seemed to like Ike almost as much as he liked her. Kyle watched the pair for a few minutes, seeing Ike scream like a little girl when Katie slipped some sort of insect down his shirt and then flush like a raspberry after she said something that, although he didn't hear it, Kyle could only assume had been learned from her older brother.

The elder Broflovski brother adjusted the strap of his backpack and continued walking the last few blocks to South Park High School. In a town like South Park, where everyone was practically neighbors and everything was within walking distance of everything else, it didn't take long to get from one place to another. Not to mention that South Park Elementary was literally three block's from Kyle's high school.

He smiled, glancing back at the playground. He remembered when his classmates had had their first crushes and started dating, right around 4th grade. Kyle himself hadn't actually liked anyone until right around 7th grade, but some of his friends had. Clyde had dated Bebe, Token had went out with Heidi and Stan, of course, had been on and off with Wendy all the way up through 8th grade. Something about the way he'd seen Ike and Katie around each other reminded him of Wendy and Stan. Did that mean that Ike was destined to finally fall for his best friend? Maybe. Don't give up yet, Fillmore, Kyle thought with a chuckle.

When Kyle looked up next, he realized that he had arrived at school. Walking through the doors of SPHS and narrowly dodging a flaming soccer ball that went speeding out the door past his head, he looked around, trying to find Stan to see if he could draw him aside before classes started so he wouldn't have to deal with the anxiety all day. Kyle was pretty sure what Stan was going to say, but he was still nervous.

He looked about, but there was no sign of Stan anywhere. Maybe he was sick? Nah, he would've called to let him know if he wasn't coming to school.

"Hey Kyle!" the voice belonged to Rebecca, who had, coincidentally, been the first person he'd ever asked out. He'd taken her to Homecoming the previous year.

"Hi Rebecca. You seen Stan yet today?"

Rebecca shook her head. "Nope. Have you seen Annie?"

"Not yet."

Rebecca frowned. So did Kyle. "Oh well, good luck anyhow, Kyle. I really have to find her," she said, and then turned and walked away quickly, looking all around in quest of the short haired blond.

A few moments later, Kyle was interrupted by Kenny, who basically walked into him while tucking a box of cloth band aids back into his backpack.

"Hey Kenny, how're you?" Kyle asked. Asking Kenny how he was was actually a pretty stupid question once you thought about it. Even if Kenny was doing great, the odds were that he would be seriously injured, sick or dead within a few hours.

Kenny zipped up his backpack and looked up. "Pretty fucking okay, I guess. Although, it would be fucking awesome if I could get through one fucking date without getting fucking killed."

Kyle laughed. This was a long standing problem with Kenny, and one that he seemed to have pretty much gotten used to. Kyle had to wonder if maybe his frequent deaths were part of the reason he was such a 'take whatever you can get/anything goes' kind of guy. Maybe he would've turned out as a little less of a whore if he'd had enough time to cultivate a relationship before he died again. "Oh well," Kyle said. "Better luck next time, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess," Kenny said with a rueful half-smile. "Too bad too, she was really cute."

"Who was it?"

Kenny winked, "Only the cutest girl in town," he said, "Marjorine."

Kyle laughed for a solid minute. "Now THAT is something I'd like to see with my own two eyes. He wear the dress and pigtails and everything?"

"Oh come on, Kyle, you're just jealous."

"Well did he?"

"No."

"You seem disappointed."

Kenny winked and spun around towards where Butters was fumbling with the combination lock on his locker. "Don't say anything," he mouthed silently to Kyle, then tiptoed over and snuck up behind the innocent blond. Before he turned away, Kyle caught a glimpse of Kenny goosing the poor boy and scaring him nearly out of his pants, which, come to think of it, was probably his agenda in the first place.

"Oh g-g-gosh, Kenny, I don't think you should do that here."

Kenny grinned and placed a hand on either side of Butter's hips, facing him. "Oh really?" he said, leaning so close to the stuttering boy that their noses touched.

Butters turned beet red. "P-please, Kenny."

"Fine, Butters. But you owe me later." He winked impishly and turned around. Butters sighed in relief, just a moment too soon. Kenny wheeled around and planted a quick kiss right on his lips. Butters' face was the most incredible crimson blend of happiness and shocked horror Kyle had ever seen. "See you later, Buttery," Kenny said airily, not realizing that he'd probably just given Butters his first kiss.

Kyle laughed. There couldn't be a more mismatched couple.

"Don't you even fucking LOOK at me, Fatass!"

"Not like I'd even want to, you stupid ho!"

"Like I'd ever go out with you!"

"Like I'd ever ask you!"

"Good!" Wendy screamed, "Because I wouldn't go even if you did!"

"Fine!" Cartman shouted. "Because I definitely won't be going to Tweek Coffee this weekend, not even once!"

Wendy planted her feet and glared at Cartman. "And I won't be there at noon on Saturday! I never go there on Saturdays EVER!"

"Well me neither!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Kyle closed his locker and chuckled as Cartman and Wendy stomped off in opposite directions. Okay, he thought, so there IS a more mismatched couple than Kenny and Butters. Just then, Wendy stalked passed him grumbling something under her breath about chauvinist pigs and coffee, her face flushed a deep, almost purple red, although whether that was from anger or the anxiety of negotiating a date Kyle had no idea.

"Oh, hey Kyle," she said, realizing she'd just walked by him (stomped, really) without even saying hello. "Hey," he replied, struggling not to laugh.

"What's so funny?" she demanded, eyes flashing, still menacing and full of doom from her encounter with Cartman.

"Nothing, nothing."

"That's right." Wendy paused. "So, how'd it go?" she asked, her tone taking a 180.

Kyle looked at her quizzically. "Huh? How'd what go?"

Wendy frowned at him, hands on hips. "You didn't call him and ask him last night, did you?"

Kyle blushed and shook his head. "I kind of, um, procrastinated. I'm actually looking for him right now."

"Chicken," Wendy muttered. "Look, I have class to get to right now, and you're going to find Stan and ask him to that stupid dance before the next time I talk to you again. Okay?"

Kyle nodded.

"Good luck," Wendy said, grinning. "Girlfriend."

Kyle glared playfully at her. "Yeah, yeah, now stop calling me a girl."

"Well, Kylena, you ARE asking a guy to a Sadie Hawkins dance." She winked. "See you later!"

Kyle scanned the halls again. By the drinking fountain, Token and Clyde seemed to be bragging about the enormous size of something to a handful of unimpressed looking junior and senior girls. Rebecca had located Annie and was whispering about something with her, Cartman was standing halfway between his locker and his first period class, looking confused and muttering obscenities, Bebe was gossiping with Red and Heidi, just in front of his French class, Craig was kissing Tweek goodbye until the next passing period, and right down the middle of it all a very out of breath Pip Pirrup was chasing Damien down the hallway shouting something about not setting fire to people. It was just another normal day for Kyle at South Park High School, with Stan no where in sight.

Oh well, Kyle thought. I should get to class anyhow. I'll just find him at lunch and ask him then or something.

Author's Drabble:

My god this is getting long. I didn't mean for it to get this long at all, and it's already at over ten pages, single spaced, on my word processor. And it's not over yet. Almost, but not yet. It's good for another chapter or two. And how did all those pairings get in there? I mean, I had the Candy coming and the fic's Style, but the rest of them just snuck themselves in. Butters/Kenny, Pip/Damien, Annie/Rebecca, Craig/Tweek, Ike/Katie... And the excessive amounts of Ike. I mean, really. I like that kid waaaayyy too much. :D Please review, if you feel keen although telling everyone you know about this fic would suffice! Nah, John Kevin, John Kevin, I jest, I jest. Oh, and I changed the rating to teen because, well, basically because Kenny's now in it. And there's a LOT more cursing.

Hope you enjoyed it!

~RadianceRose aka ainekatt