Oscar

Mist, that was downright uncalled for. They asked you to do one simple thing and you…

"I told you she was the devil," Boyd whined, as his brother sat exasperated at how annoying the two youths were being.

"I'm sorry, Oscar," Mist said, "I promise I won't do it again."

"Your promises mean nothing!" shouted a teary-eyed Soren.

I'm going to tell a story that I'm sure won't offend Ike or Soren. A Kieran story!

It was my turn to make the pancakes for the twelfth regiment, and as usual, they all cheered (although I never understood why.) But unfortunately, I was out of buttermilk. I told my regiment buddies, "I need to go to town to buy some more buttermilk."

"No, no, no, no!" shouted my friend at the time, Malecai, "I'll go! You stay here!"

I wanted to protest but before I knew it Malecai was gone. While I was waiting, Kieran came up to me and asked, "What are you doing?"

I answered, "Nothing."

Kieran flared up. "Well I'll put a stop to that!" he said, readying his axe.

"Kieran," I said while sidestepping his attack, inadvertently causing him to fall on his face, "I'm waiting for Malecai to come back with buttermilk."

He eyed me suspiciously. "Buttermilk?" he asked, "What would you want with such a disgusting liquid? Unless… you had a secret plan to dump it on my head!"

"Kieran…" I groaned.

"What? I only came to the most logical conclusion I could!" he protested. Somehow, that didn't surprise me.

"For your information, Kieran," I said, "It's my turn to make pancakes for my regiment."

"OH!" yells Kieran, "The twelfth regiment gets pancakes! Why doesn't the fifth platoon get pancakes!? I know! You bribed General Geoffrey didn't you? Oscar, you sly fox!"

"Uh… no, the pancakes are voluntarily maintained by the members of the regiment, and once my kid brother but…"

Boyd whined, "Oh, no, Oscar, please don't."

Oh, sorry, Boyd. Anyway after I was done talking to Kieran, he said triumphantly, "Well I can make pancakes too!"

He showed me and I was surprised how adept he was with his batter. At least until he started swinging his axe around. "Uhh…Kieran?" I asked incredulously, "How is this relevant to making pancakes?"

He told me to shut up and threw a bag of flour in my face. Well, I ended up looking like Soren after that teeth-whitening spell horribly backfired.

"I can't believe I said 'otih' instead of 'ah'. I knew what would happen if I made such a grievous error," Soren said while blushing, "But honestly, you guys are all strangely good with simile."

Shinon laughed, "You're just lucky you're anemic. If BOYD had done that he'd be screwed over!"

So anyway, Kieran and I were soon covered in flour, eggs, and sugar. And this was all before the buttermilk came back to us. When Malecai came back he said "What have you two been doing?"

I said, "I was just babysitting one of the guys from the fifth platoon."