Rolf

This is a story that I know Boyd doesn't want me to tell, but I will anyway. So one day we were all alone in the fort. Commander Greil, Ike, Mist, and Soren had gone to the farmers' market; Shinon and Gatrie were out practicing; Titania had taken Rhys to a nearby doctor; and Oscar had gone to the joust tournament for a prize… if I recall correctly, it was a life-sized porcelain statue of Lord Renning… which Boyd broke as soon as we got it.

So anyway we were all alone. And Boyd and I wanted to play around. Boyd found one of Soren's spell books lying on the ground, and he said, "You wanna try it?"

"I dunno," I said, "I think those are pretty hard to use…"

But Boyd was certain of this. He couldn't read the ancient language. So he just spouted random syllables. But whatever they were, he turned into a large green dog."

"That would be 'iasadukettukust ow uni anirodim etukikoo in ukob'" Soren said without having to look anything up, and Ike was terrified the same thing was about to happen to Soren. "Relax, Ike, I toned my skills using the word 'ihsataw', so saying the standard, 'ukob' is not going to hurt me."

And I said, "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" trying to get Boyd back to normal. But I didn't know how. So I just picked up Rhys' staff and tried to get Boyd to turn back into a human. Boyd wasn't a laguz-like dog or anything. He was just a large green dog. And he barked at me and licked my face. I waved the staff in his face but all that happened was I made Boyd's paws less calloused. I said, "How the heck can these guys use these things?"`

Boyd looked up at me and licked my face again. I was so scared that Oscar would be really really mad at me when he got back even though it was Boyd's fault, that I hid Boyd in the pantry, not remembering Commander and family had gone grocery shopping. Suddenly I heard a whimper from the pantry. "No, Boyd, I can't let you out or Oscar will be really really mad at me."

Suddenly I heard the commander come in. "Ike, help me carry these spices in…" Commander Greil said.

"It's okay, I'll do it," responded an even softer voice, which could only have been Soren.

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! And I thought Oscar would be really mad at me!!" I said by accident, but I was panicked.

"What would Oscar be really mad about?" Soren asked suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"Uhh…" I said, trying to cover the entrance to the pantry.

"Excuse me," he said in the most annoyed way possible.

"No, you can't go through." I said, and I was sure I'd keep him out when Boyd started thumping on the other side of the door.

"Did you lock Boyd in the pantry!?" he asked, obviously mad at me. He was done with etiquette now. "Move, Rolf."

I didn't, and he shoved me over and opened the pantry door and saw the state Boyd was in. He didn't yell at me, but he just stood there with his jaw dropped for a few minutes and then he burst out laughing. He recited something that brought Boyd back to normal.

"You won't tell Oscar, will you?" I asked.

"Of course not," he said before turning to Boyd, "And you! Don't… touch… my… things!"

"Wow," Boyd said, "Soren sure doesn't have much patience."