Shinon
Now here's a story that is actually worth listening to for once. It was one time we were on the battlefield. Ike and Soren had gone over to make out again.
"I told you we're not together!" Ike said, blushing to the color of a beet.
"We have never kissed on the battlefield," Soren said honestly, "You ever wonder why the enemies always seem to disappear? Yeah, we killed them with the radiance of our passionate kisses."
Whatever you say guys. Anyway, there was an enemy archer next to me and we got into a fight. Not the kind of fight you generally get into on the battlefield, but a heated argument. It all started when he said, "Hey, wench, love that hair!"
I assumed he was talking to Titania. I wasn't proven wrong when he said, "And I love its red color". However, I was proven wrong when he grabbed my ass.
Soren tried to stifle some laughter. "I bet you let him have it for that didn't you?"
Oh, you bet I did. I readied my arrow to shoot right through his dense skull, and that I did. I shot an arrow right through his dense skull, and I asked him, as he lay dying, "Do I look like a woman to you?"
"Yes," the stupid archer replied, "And a very pretty one at that."
Mia was laughing uncontrollably at this point to the point where she was rolling around on the floor and Rhys had to catch her before she bumped her head on the hardwood floor.
I asked again, this time pressing my boot into his shirt, "Do I look like a woman to you?"
"Yes…" he gasped, as he was bleeding through the top of his head and struggling to breathe over my crushing foot. "You are the most beautiful woman in all of Crimea."
"Say that again…" I said, now pushing another arrow into his neck.
"Yes! You are beautiful!" he shouted as he died. Well the moral of the story is don't ever call me a girl or I'll kill you.
"Or, alternatively, never grab Shinon's ass or he'll kill you…" Ike offered. "And never grab Soren's ass or I'll kill you.
You are only hurting your case at this point, Ike.