A/N OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SUPER SUPER SUPER LATE UPDATE! I'm busy with school and projects and friends and stuff and its taking my time up and stuff. SATs are coming up and other big tests and it's all a big mess. I'm seriously sorry I'm not updating fast enough.

Summary from last chapter: Matt and Lilly were hanging out at Lilly's house for his last day before heading to New York when he decided to go farther with Lilly. Lilly didn't like that Matt wanted to cop a feel from her and got mad at him. She yelled and told him to leave, which ended with her calling for Oliver to come over to have some fun. They both fell asleep and when Lilly woke up, she was laying beside him with him holding her protectively. She kissed his cheek and went back to her bed, but in the hallway, she bumped into her mom who told her to watch out since Lilly was already with Matt.

The next day, Lilly woke up to Oliver moving the bed and she told him to leave before he got in trouble for sneaking out. Later in the day, her family went to the Stewarts house for the Christmas party and Lilly and Oliver got bored of the party which ended of the two sneaking out to Oliver's Aunt's house to get his present to her. He gave her a piggyback ride to his house and when the two got to the house and she got a plastic ring Oliver gave Lilly when they were in preschool and a fancy necklace. While the two hugged, Oliver looked up and saw mistletoe. Oliver told Lilly and the two kisses, only making Lilly remember that she was with Matt and not with Oliver.

Chapter 8

If Ever

Days after the little kiss Oliver and Lilly shared, Lilly seemed to be getting even more confused. So confused that she went to a point where she wanted to call Matt to break up with him, or Oliver to stop being friends with her. She didn't like the second idea, but the first idea seemed to be like the best answer, but it would be obvious to Matt for his insecurities of her cheating on him. It's all a confusing mess.

She didn't care for Matt as much as she did for Oliver, but Oliver… she didn't want to be desperate to be with him. She liked him, sure, a lot actually, but she wasn't sure if she should let her heart open up to him again.

She got too close to him the last time, left her in a heart break, and used Matt as a rebound tool. Now that she and Matt had been together for so long, she wanted to take back what she took advantage of with Matt and try to work it out, but with Oliver around, it's going to be hard.

If she and Oliver would ever get back together, she was afraid she'd get even more sexually intimate with him and it scared her. She lost her virginity to him, she won't deny that, but it still scared her that she actually let it happen. She always thought of saving herself, but now that she actually 'did it' with Oliver; it makes her feel bad for pulling back when Matt wanted to do something.

Lilly lay flat on her bed, thinking about what she should do in her situation. It bothered her so much and she felt like she was cheating on Matt already, but is a simple kiss exactly cheating?

"It makes me wonder if he's doing something like this during his trip." Lilly sighed and sat up on her bed.

"Tomorrow is New Years Eve; it makes me wonder what Oliver and Miley are doing. I haven't hung out with the two since Christmas eve." She looked over to her cell phone and tempted to call Miley, but decided not to.

Miley knew Oliver and Lilly snuck away from the party because when the two got back, Miley and Sarah were on the patio, patiently waiting and Miley looked, well, displeased. More pissed off actually. She almost yelled at Oliver and even if it wasn't Oliver's fault, Lilly couldn't really say anything about it.

Miley wanted to know what happened during their outing and Oliver said just a simple walk on the beach which made Miley calm down, but she had no reason to get angry. Lilly and Oliver were just two friends getting a present, nothing more.

"Whatever." Lilly rolled her eyes at the thought of Christmas Eve and decided to call Miley for the heck of it.

Lilly dialed Miley's number and after just two rings, she answered the phone.

"Hey Lilly!" Miley said and Lilly smiled

"Hey, what are you doing today?" She asked and looked down at her legs, as she swung them over to the edge of the bed. She started kicking her feet in the air when Miley replied.

"Oh, yeah that's right, Oliver called earlier and asked if we wanted to eat dinner and watch a movie. Do you want to go out?" Miley asked.

"Yeah." Lilly felt a little down.

Why didn't Oliver call her? It saddened her that Oliver went to Miley instead of her. It showed that maybe he wasn't ready to talk to her after the kiss either because after the kiss, they hardly talked.

"We're going at 7ish tonight. I'll pick you up and we'll meet Oliver there."

"Okay, fine with me. Bye." Lilly said and hung up her phone.

It seems that there are many things happening with the two of her friends. Oliver is talking to Miley more, Lilly has been kind of… moving away from Miley at the moment because of Matt. For the past few days, all she did was mope around, think, day dream, and talk to Matt on the phone. Not much of a social life at all.

"Might as well get ready." Lilly shrugged and got up from her bed.

--

Oliver stared at his phone as he sat in his car, parked in front of Sally's restaurant. He was waiting for Miley. What confused him was that Miley was the one who asked him if he wanted to go out tonight and he didn't know why. He agreed, obviously, he just hoped that he wasn't going to be alone with him. These little times he hung out with her alone, she made it known that she might be interested by him, but tried so hard to not make it obvious.

He had been a bit antisocial with Miley and Lilly lately and it seemed like their strong trio was slowly breaking up. Plus, since the kiss, Lilly was all he thought about. The kiss, feeling her lips against his, it brought memories back and he wanted her even more than he did when he first moved back.

He raised his finger tips to his lips and felt like maybe he should kiss her again. It would be weird, but the temptation is there. He had self control, plus he had to think about Matt being her boyfriend.

"Shit." He shook his head.

Matt, the one problem that's there because he's Lilly's boyfriend. He's keeping them from getting together, he knew it. The look on Lilly's face every time he brings up their past relationship shows that she did like him back, she's just with Matt to forget about the feeling she had for Oliver. Matt will be first, always before Oliver and he wanted to change that. He wanted to put himself before Matt, but he knew he couldn't unless Lilly finally breaks up with him.

After almost half an hour of waiting, Miley's car pulled up next to his and he looked at it, seeing Lilly in the passenger seat. Maybe, if they were alone, he could talk to her about the kiss. He didn't want to make it awkward and obvious about the two. If only Lilly would just tell Miley about their past relationship, they wouldn't be so secretive about everything.

He quickly got out of his car and went to Lilly's door to open it. When he opened it, he looked at Lilly and smiled as she looked up at him. She was caught off guard by opening her door and weakly smiled at Oliver.

"Thanks." She quickly got passed Oliver when Oliver took a grip on Lilly's arm and closed the door to Miley's car. He stepped close to Lilly's back and neared his mouth to her ear.

"We need to talk. I want to know why you aren't talking to me." He said and let go of her arm.

Lilly shook her head. "It's not a good time to talk about it now, we're here as friends, nothing more." She replied and walked away from Oliver, to get in Sally's.

Sally's was full of New Years decorations and couples eating and talking. It was normal for many people to be there, but it was the first time in a while the three went there together. Miley chose a spot at a window and Lilly sat next to her, leaving Oliver to sit across the two girls. A lady gave the trio menus and asked if they wanted a drink before leaving them to choose what they wanted to eat.

There was awkward silence in the group as they sat there, looking over the menu. Lilly occasionally looked up to Oliver, but quickly looked back to her menu, hoping Miley wouldn't notice her. Lilly felt even guiltier since she kind of knew Miley liked Oliver. It was only a matter of days until Miley would ask Oliver out, unless she's just waiting for him to make the move.

Lilly shook her head. It was going to end now, well the silence.

"So what are you all doing for New Years?" Lilly asked as she put down her menu in front of her.

Miley looked up and sighed. "Lilly, did you forget already?" She shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?"

Lilly glanced at Oliver as he sat back in his seat, staring at her and Miley. He mouthed 'party' when she realized she forgot about the party at Miley's. Everything's being celebrated at Miley's; it's always been like that.

"Oooh!" Lilly blushed and turned her head to stare out the window. "Yeah, sorry."

Miley laughed out loud and hit her hand against the table. "Now you remember. Every year it's been like that."

"And it's back to how it's supposed to be… with me." Oliver pointed out.

"Yeah, with you." Miley grinned.

The waitress came back and took everyone's order and within thirty minutes of talking of random things, they got their food and started eating. The usual breakfast for dinner thing they order during special occasion, or in Miley's words, "For Oliver coming back and a bright New Years."

Lilly took a bite of her sandwich and stared at her plate as she ate. Oliver and Miley seemed stuck in a deep conversation as she thought of it. Last year of High school, college coming up in August, SATs in January, it's all coming up and now that it's the beginning of the year soon, she needs to set herself straight. She wants to start off with a clean year, but how to do it now? She argued with Matt, she kissed Oliver on Christmas, and to tie it all together, she can't act her feelings out because she doesn't want Miley to know anything at all. It's pathetic.

"Arg." She took a big bite of her sandwich and chewed slowly.

"Lilly?" Miley said and she looked at her, only to find Oliver staring at her as well.

"What?" She said with her mouth still full of bread and meat.

"You okay?" Miley asked.

Lilly started coughing. "Yeah, fine!" She exclaimed as she set her food down to take her glass of water to wash down the dry sandwich.

"Okay." Miley said and then her phone rang. She looked at her phone and shook her head. "I'll be back." She got up and answered her phone as she walked out of Sally's.

Lilly rolled her eyes and set her glass of water down and took a fry from her plate. Ah alone time again. Perfect.

"What's really wrong with you?" Oliver asked and Lilly looked at him.

"You are." She replied and took another fry from her plate.

Oliver raised his eyebrows, a little confused and shook his head. "What did I do this time?"

"Come back." Lilly sighed and dropped her gaze to her plate.

"I don't get it. I come back to see you and now you're pissed. I missed you; can't you just give me a little affection?" Oliver asked and reached over to take her hand, but she pulled it back.

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm rude. I missed you too, but still, you took me by surprise by coming back. I'm with Matt now and the one time I wanted to make my life better, you came back crashing it." She explained as easily as she could. She didn't know why, but she felt like being mean to him. She didn't mean it at all, really, but all this thinking of the future, it just made her pissed off.

"I see. So it doesn't even matter if I practically begged my mom to come and see you and stay here for my final year in high school, leaving my school near the end of the year just to be with you. It doesn't matter huh." Oliver started to get angry. At least Lilly could've let him believe that she still had some feelings for him and appreciated him being there for her.

Lilly felt guilty. She never meant to sound that… mean. "Hey, I'm sorry-" Just then, Miley walked back into the restaurant and toward them.

"Sorry about that! I have an emergency, ahh, sucks for our dinner. I always seem to ruin these." She laughed as walked to the table.

Lilly grinned. "It's no problem." She got up from her seat, but Miley pushed her down.

"Hey you and Oliver stay. Just because I have some Hannah business to attend doesn't mean I have to ruin your dinner." She grinned. "Stay, it seems like you two haven't really talked much tonight." Miley took a fry in her mouth and reached for her purse next to Lilly. She took out a five dollar bill and laid it on the table. "This should cover my part, if not I'll pay you back."

"Aw, you don't have to pay anything Miles." Oliver said and took the bill in his hand to give it back to Miley.

"Thanks Oliver." She put the bill in her purse and walked off.

Lilly gazed down at her plate and sighed.

"What's wrong with you, seriously, you never express the truth like that since… well last time I was here." Oliver asked and took a bite of his sandwich.

"I'm just… annoyed."

"And why are you annoyed?"

Lilly sighed. "I'm annoyed with the fact that you came back. You came back when I wasn't ready to see you." She openly answered. It wasn't worth getting angry over it. Stupid mood swings.

Oliver reached forward and took her hand again, this time she didn't move it back.

"You rather have me back in Seattle than have me here? Because it's fine. I'll go back with my parents and I'll leave you and Matt alone." Oliver softly replied with his eyes moving to their hands.

"No, it's fine. Don't go back." Lilly quickly said and shook her head.

"What do you want?" He asked. "First you're mad at me for being here, now you don't want me to go. I don't get you."

Lilly bit her lip and kept her eyes at her plate. "I want you here, but I don't want you here. Look, it's complicated…"

"Then explain it the best you can." Oliver squeezed her hand.

"How do I do it?" Lilly gazed up at him and he smiled.

"Clear whatever's in your mind and explain to me. You could at least give me that bit." He replied and let go of her hand.

They finished their dinner in quiet and Lilly did what he told her to do. Clear her mind.

--

"Would you consider this a date?" Oliver casually asked as they walked to his car.

"No! Why would I?" Lilly laughed and got into Oliver's car.

"Well, I bought you dinner-"

"And that's it! Now unlock your door and let me in." Lilly said as she got to the other side of the car.

"Buying dinner does mean it is a date though." Oliver pointed out as he got into the car.

Lilly got in the car and as she got her seat belt on, she looked at Oliver and noticed he didn't start the car.

"What?" She asked and Oliver grinned.

"Well, you're nicer than how you were earlier in the night." He grinned and side-eyed her.

"And that's because I had a lot on my mind. You know, a girl changes from time to time." Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Well let's hope you stay in mood rather than you're pissed off one." He put the key in the ignition and started the car. He reversed out of the parking lot and started driving.

"I'm doing much better than I was thanks. And Miley thinks we hardly talk. Ha." Lilly shook her head. "Do we have to watch a movie tonight?"

"Nah, we can just go to the beach or play video games or go to the park or something." Oliver suggested and Lilly shrugged.

"Umm I don't know, surprise me."

Oliver's eyebrows rose. "Surprise you? That's different; I thought you didn't like surprises."

"Things changed."

"Obviously."

Minutes later, they reached a closed skate park near Lilly's neighborhood and she laughed.

"What are we doing here? We didn't bring any skateboards." She asked as she eyed the park.

Oliver parked next to a bush across the park and stared at it.

"Well, to have fun. I don't know, you said to surprise you and I haven't been here in ages. We can just talk… or something." He replied and got out of his car.

They walked across of the street and to the gated entrance of the park. Lilly glanced at Oliver and smirked as she put her hands on the bars and pulled herself up and over the gate. Oliver rolled his eyes as he climbed up the fence as well.

When Oliver got over the gate, he turned to look at Lilly, but realized that she was running away from him.

"Hey! Where you going?" He shouted and ran after her, fast enough to catch up.

"Here." She muttered under her breath and stopped at the edge of the half pipe, but Oliver didn't stop and fell in.

"Argh!" He shouted as he tumbled in.

"Oliver!" She shouted after him and sat on the edge as she squinted at Oliver to see if he was okay.

"I'm fine."

He landed on his stomach and rolled on his back to face the sky with his eyes closed. He heard something slide down and so he opened his eyes to Lilly walking toward him.

"You're such an idiot." She put her hand out to help him up and he gladly took it.

"If you didn't run then I wouldn't have fallen." He struggled up and dusted himself off.

"Shut up." She giggled and started walking toward the pipeline.

Although the only lights they had were the street lights, she didn't care, it didn't matter to her if the pipeline was dark, she wanted to go inside, and it was what she did with Oliver those random nights they wanted to skateboard.

"This brings back memories." He scratched his head as he followed Lilly into the darkness.

Once Lilly went into the darkness, she sat down and lay back with the curve of the pipeline. She could feel Oliver walking so she reached forward, took a hold of Oliver's pants, and yanked it.

"Hey!" Oliver said and felt around as she went to sit down. He scooted until he felt her next to him and leaned back.

"So what made you choose this place?" She asked and Oliver shrugged.

"I told you once; I don't want to repeat myself."

Lilly smiled. "Remember when we used to always do this?"

"Of course, it was the one place Miley wouldn't find us."

Oliver smiled and closed his eyes, thinking about the past. Skateboarding until midnight, getting chased by security guards, everything happened here. They always did sports together and now that he thought of it, she always pointed out that she was a girl… and still does.

"Oliver." Lilly whispered in the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about tonight and how bitchy I was."

Oliver grinned. "It's no problem."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I do want you here. It's just hard because-"

"You don't have to explain, I get it." He replied, only to feel Lilly's hand on his arm, looking for his hand.

Oliver took in a deep breath and finally asked what he wanted to ask since the beginning of the night. "And the kiss…"

Lilly bit her lip and closed her eyes. "You always bring that up, what about it? What's this important thing you have to talk to me about?"

Her palms were getting sweaty and she hoped he didn't realize it.

"How do you feel about it?" He asked.

"It was just a friendly kiss, you know, tradition with mistletoe" She lied. She always thought of it, but she didn't want him to know it.

"So if we kissed now it would still be a friendly kiss right?"

Lilly shook her head. "Don't kiss me now. You always talk about kissing and it meaning a friendly kiss. What if I'm not ready to be kissed again?" She asked only for Oliver to place his head on her shoulder.

"It's okay with me; I just wanted a serious talk about what happened a few nights ago." He shrugged.

"But you were just talking about kissing me now!" She exclaimed, squeezing his hand in hers.

"Relax Lilly, really… I was just asking."

Lilly calmed down and leaned her head against his. She had to make him happy; she knew that she probably made the night a crappy one for being mad at him in the restaurant and telling him that she wouldn't kiss him.

"Hey Oliver."

"Mhmm…"

"If it matters to you, I do want us to work out…"

"Like?"

Lilly was quiet for a minute, unsure to say it, but she knew she had to. "I don't want us to fight anymore and I don't want you out of my life… if that makes sense."

Oliver smiled. "So..."

"If anything happens between us again, I think we should tell Miley."

Oliver started laughing. "Guilt trip hitting you huh?" He asked and Lilly shook her head.

"I'm sick of lying to her."

Just then it hit Oliver.

"You think something will happen between us again?" He raised his head and tried to look at her in the darkness.

Lilly blushed. She didn't mean for Oliver to catch that. "Sure, I guess… We only dated for a few days…"

Oliver's eyes narrowed. "Things with Matt are really going down then?" He asked and Lilly nodded.

"I'll let your imagination decide what's going on with me and Matt." Lilly rolled her eyes and waited for the night to end.

A/N I'm so sorry, I know it's been a long time since I wrote and I must suck :P. I'm really sorry for the late update. I just got back into writing fan fiction so maybe I'll update quicker next time.

Next chapter: New Years!