Wow! I didn't expect many people to notice this at all... but I guess it's just that much better, huh? Radioactive X-naut and Vampire Koneko, thanks! Without your comments the poor souls in the Castle of Comic Torture would still be bored out of their wits. :3 Keep the ideas coming, people!
X Murky
Gary opened his eyes, and remembered where he was. It was two in the morning, in the Castle of Comic Torture. His mind soon set itself into motion. Ugh… might as well go check Elite Fail, I doubt anyone else is awake… The boy got out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and some shorts. The young Champion slowly drifted over to the computer on the other side of his bedroom and logged on. His eyes widened with surprise; a user named Vampire Koneko had submitted some good ones.
As he scanned the list, his smile grew wider. Scrawling it on a piece of paper, he got to doing the night jobs. Koneko's full list was something like this…
Put makeup on the boys (Aaron, Bruno, Sidney, etc.) while they are sleeping and take photos. Then stick them up everywhere in the castle using Duct Tape. Don't let them take off the makeup for 2/3 days at least. Or, you can just use permanent makeup.
Push the girls in the swimming pool (Pheobe, Lorelei, Karen, ) while they are not looking.
Put smiley faces on the boys' underwear. Or replace them with girly ones with fairies.
Rewrite Drake's soap opera tapes (I know he has them.) with baby shows like Tellitubbies or Hi-5. Or Little Pokemon friends.
Change Sidney's clothes to pink, girly ones with fairies.
Gary pulled some permanent makeup from Cynthia's stock, and set to work. Scampering around the castle, he shook Cynthia and Wallace awake. Drake was in for a different surprise, and Gary figured Steven would need to get in on the action in a different way.
The trio snuck into Steven's room.
"Arceus above…" Gary muttered. "This guy doesn't even take of the stupid rings when he's asleep?" Cynthia nearly sniggered, but shut her mouth in time. The trio snuck up to the sleeping Champion and began to work on his face.
"No, no, that's blush, it goes like this," Cynthia pointed out as Wallace attempted to rub blush in his hair, which seemed to lose all spikiness while he was asleep. Gary whipped out a digital camera and had Wallace cover Steven's eyes while he took a photo. This continued for a while, as the trio snuck around the castle. They were nearly caught by Koga (he was a Johto E4, and was thus invited too), but they dived behind the Japanese screen as he, half-awake, looked around the room and returned to sleep.
S they slipped into Will's room, they realized he wasn't there. "We might need to look out for him," Wallace noted, "He could be anywhere." Vowing to be more careful, they exited after doing the rounds of his drawers.
After they had finished doodling eyes on Bruno's chest, Gary whipped out the list again and crossed the first mission out with a Sharpie.
"We can tape them around tomorrow," Cynthia said. "Now, for the fairy clothing…" She stepped into the Ubercloset at the end of the main hall, and removed a Butterfree costume.
"It'll do." Wallace said as he took down the big boxes containing the male underwear with fairies on them. They ransacked the boys' rooms again, removing all of Sidney's clothes and shoving the full-body Butterfree suit in it.
"Now… Drake's tapes." Wallace scrambled into the television room, and removed Drake's soap opera. He then moved over a few feet, and peeked in a box labeled 'Sabrinas!!!! Do not touch!!!!!!!' in messy handwriting. He pulled it down from the top shelf and brought his finds over to Gary and Cynthia, who peered in.
"Who watches Pokemon Puppet Pals?" Cynthia snorted, observing the station names and times. It looked like a schedule for the entire week for some sort of kid's channel…
"Sabrina's younger self, I'll bet. And maybe Janine." Gary whispered as they ran over to the television. They then got to work re-recording Drake's soaps, after nearly blowing their cover by laughing. It was 6:50 when they finished – everyone would be up by seven. They flung the 'new' tapes back into Drake's box, repositioned it and Sabrina's on the shelf, and moved over to the Great Hall, where they prepared the intercom. Cynthia kicked it off
"Okay, people! Wakeup time! We have something to discuss with you all, so get into your clothes and come down to the Great Hall ASAP!" Thinking this was sufficient, they took their seats.
Little by little, the Elites trickled in. The females came first as usual, blissfully ignorant of the fate of their male counterparts – wait, no. They were giggling in little groups. They saw the boys! As Gary, Wallace, and Cynthia gaped at the few males who had come in earlier, a very angry crowd of men stampeded into the Hall. At the front were Steven and Drake, the latter's cape billowing dramatically.
Gary and Wallace put on face expressions of shock, but Cynthia burst out laughing. "What happened to you guys? Ahaha!" She nearly suffocated when Sidney came in, sporting the full-body Butterfree suit and looking like he would strangle someone. The other girls were all laughing as well, but when Sidney actually threatened to strangle someone they inched away.
"Excuse me, excuse me!" Steven stormed to the front of the Hall and glowered at Gary, Cynthia, and Wallace. "What is the meaning of this? And why are you two and the women the only ones not affected?" Gary cracked a wide grin.
"What? You forgot already?" As Drake swished up behind him, it slowly dawned on them that the guilty party did not think of this at all. Slowly, a look of realization tricked across your face. Drake was about to say something, but Wallace pushed him aside and stepped up to the podium.
"Attention, Elites, attention! As you have noticed by now, there have been some hijinks around the castle last night…" ("LIKE ARCEUS, YEAH!" shouted Bruno) "…and we would like to say – Gary, Cynthia, and myself – that it was entirely our doing. It got boring yesterday, so we posted a fic on FFNet hoping to get some ideas to liven up this place and pass the time. It worked." He smiled widely as a jarring amount of booing reached his ears. Unfazed, he continued.
"We would like to have you know that this behavior will continue until the three-month period is up, and we all return to our respective Regions."
"And what if," Flint stepped up, clown-painted face (made even more convincing by his… odd haircut) twisted in anger, "we choose not to put up with it? What then?"
There was temporary silence among the three Champions. "Uhh…" was the resounding noise they all made.
"Hah!" The man crossed his arms, a smug grin on his face. "You have no alternative!"
"Yes we do!" Cynthia blurted out. Realizing what she had said, she thought for a couple of seconds and then continued. "If you don't go by it, we'll… we'll… kick you out of your position as Elite Four member!"
A hush fell over the other %90 of the residents. After a few seconds, the group started murmuring. "What?" "Kick us out?" "This cannot be!" "That's cold." "My Steelix is stronger than yours."
"Now, yes, we know you're all disappointed." Gary nodded. "So we've decided to give you free pool rights for the entire day!" He beamed brightly, and the mood lightened considerably. Everyone ran back to their rooms to change.
As Cynthia and Wallace stared at him, Gary smiled and nodded. "I checked the site while you guys were doing stuff. Some dude named Radioactive X-Naut posted. X says that Aaron should be covered in bug spray, and that Bruno be trapped in a room with a couch, a TV, and KFT. We can use the Television room for that. And there's also that thing about pushing females in the pool… I found a Kecleon troop hiding out in the indoor gardens who will be nice for that."
Wallace scrambled to the intercom and shouted, "Bruno! You are wanted in the Television room in half an hour! Everyone else, get to the pool." He slipped into the kitchen to call the KFT guys, and Gary dragged Cynthia along to find the Kecleon.
After they had found them, they explained. "Alright, you guys," Gary and Cynthia crouched down so that they were closer to the Kecleon, "we need you guys to push these people into the pool." Cynthia handed out pictures of all the female Elites. "If you do that, we'll give you guys some really good food." The Kecleon chirped happily and invisibly scuttled out to the pool area to push girls around.
"Bug spray time. Go get changed and I'll deal with Aaron – you keep the Kecleon under control." Cynthia wagged the can of bug spray and went into her room.
Gary nodded and retreated to his. They emerged a few minutes later – Gary in a black swimsuit, and Cynthia with a gray one-piece (sans the bobbing Lucario pins). Nodding at each other, they ran outside.
Little red zigzags floated around close to the ground, and female Elites were falling in the large pool at an alarming rate. Laughing, Cynthia took the bug spray and sneakedover to Aaron, who was lying on a floating chair.
"Oh Arceus," he murmured, "It's hot out here. I need sunscreen." Cynthia ripped the label off the bug-spray can, and handed it to him from in the pool. "Thanks," said the green-haired boy, not noticing that it was a Champion – and therefore, a mortal enemy – who had given it to him. Spraying it on, he yelped in surprise as Cynthia dove under him. Aaron tried to chase her but shifted his weight too much and toppled into the pool, drenching Bruno. Cynthia exited as Bruno began to scream angrily at Aaron.
Many complaints of crazy Kecleons and one lengthy explanation of the difference between spray-able sunscreen and bug spray from Aaron later, the sun began to set and the party was over. Wallace arrived on the scene as they all exited the changing rooms in their usual clothes. "Did I miss anything?" He asked.
Cynthia shook her head and retreated to her room, and Gary did the same.
Whistling cheerily, Wallace passed Drake in the hall as he retreated to his room for the night.
As sleep fell upon the Castle of Comic Torture, one blood-curdling scream was heard from the Television Room. It woke up nobody, for the door was closed, but it was a truly horrible sound for any who were to hear it:
"MY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAPS!!!"