Wallace had concluded his tale of woe and everyone bit their lip and stared at Lance, who wasn't looking in the greatest of shape right now. He was still breathing, thank Arceus for that, but he wouldn't be able to move again for at least a day.

THE NEXT DAY

Ah, the magic of accuracy!

They had forgotten Vampire Koneko's Karaoke Night, complete with Karen (well, okay, not Karen because she's dead) singing a very stupid song. They all decided to brainstorm embarrassing songs for the Elites to sing, and Lance came up with a good one almost immediately: Make Will and Lorelei sing a duet. Not just any duet, though – make Will and Lorelei sing Anything You Can Do from that random play nobody remembers but for the song.

Everyone in the room cackled evilly for a few minutes and continued to brainstorm. Gary took out a piece of paper and a pen, to scrawl down the songs that everyone would have to sing (in the most embarrassing manner possible, on request of the user).

They came up with such diabolical plots as Phoebe (she was actually pretty good) singing U Better Fear Me while dressed up as a Mesprit; a strange idea, surely, but it to be honest wasn't theirs. This concept came from a spontaneous note taped onto the window, signed with a 'G' and a spot of ink that looked like it had been dripped onto the paper and left to bleed. Strange, huh?

Later that night, everyone was assembled in the Grand Hall. Nobody really thought much of the big, obnoxious, grand stage up in front; there are a lot of strange things that pop up around the Castle every once in a while. So they kind of ignored the giant stage and talked amongst themselves (save for Will, who was staring into space, and Lucian who had his head in a book).

So it came as quite a surprise when Lance spontaneously bounced onto the stage holding a handheld microphone. Not that Lance was spontaneously bouncing onto the stage; nah, that was just part of what made Lance… Lance. No, what came as a surprise was the fact that the word 'KAREOKE' was now blinking behind him in large and obnoxious red lettering. Several people shuddered; way to kill the mood, omg.

So anyway, Lance was up there holding a microphone. He began to speak, letting his awesome voice set in on the less-awesome citizens of the Castle of Elite Fail.

"As you have no doubt noticed by the no doubt big and obnoxious red sign that is no doubt blinking the word 'KAREOKE' in really big red letters which is no doubt behind me, we're having a karaoke night tonight because, well, it's getting close to the deadline." Some people cheered at the last line, but were quickly shushed again when he tacked on, "and also one person suggested it and we never actually remembered to do it to torture you all."

The same people groaned loudly after a brief interval.

"So we're just going to pick some people from the crowd and also pick a random song from some sort of selection system which is also completely random," which, of course, meant that it wasn't random at all, "and we're gonna make you guys sing it!" He took a few leap-bound-hop-steps to the left, where the big obnoxious lettering had now been replaced by the words…

U BETTER FEAR ME

"Bruno?" Some people wondered.

Lance just smiled and continued to look at the screen.

As is to be sung by Phoebe.

Several people (including Phoebe herself) started laughing. She was still smiling like a maniac when she came onto the stage, in the strange Mesprit outfit. Her preformance went without a hitch.

"That was... heartfelt," Lance said, larely able to contain his snickering. "If I would be so kind as to direct you to the screen in the center of the stage..."

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO

And below it, in a smaller size,

As is to be sung by Lorelei and Will.

Lorelei made a clearly unhappy noise, and Phoebe and Cynthia giggled at her. She unhappily slunk up to the stage and took one of the two mikes (how the other one got there, we shall never know) that Lance held out to her. She took her position at stage left.

Will, on the other hand, gave a determined smirk and stormed up to stage right, snatching the microphone from Lance in the process. He was clearly enjoying the concept of proving himself better than someone else, even if it was only in a song originally sung by a female outlaw and a guy named Frank. Hopefully, he was the guy named Frank.

A giant screen slowly lowered behind the crowd, with letters big enough that Will and Lorelei could read. The screen flicked to life, proclaiming in the properly color-coded lettering…

MALE LEAD: WILL

FEMALE LEAD: LORELEI

Lorelei and Will glared at each other. The music started, and you could have sworn that they were actually saying this in real life and that it wasn't just karaoke off of a giant screen.

"Anything you can do I can do better," Lorelei began.

"HA!" Will retorted.

"I can do anything better than you."

"No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yes I can!"

"No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can. Yes, I can!"

"Anything you can be, I can be greater!" Will smirked, pointing a finger at Lorelei. "Sooner or later, I'm greater than you!"

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not!"

"Yes I am, yes I am!

I can shoot a partridge with a single catridge-" Wait, what? Will thought. What the heck is a partridge? Did I even pronounce that right?

"I can get a Spearow with a bow and arrow-" That didn't even rhyme! Lorelei huffed to herself. Idiots.

"I can live on bread and cheese."

"And only on that?"

"Ye-"

"SO CAN A RAT!" Lorelei shouted. Will recoiled visibly, but delivered the next line with extra force.

"Any note you can sing, I can sing higher."

"I can sing any note higher than you!" Lorelei spat.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can!"

"No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can!"

"No you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't-"

"Yes… I…" Lorelei took a deep breath, looking as if she were going to actually do it. However what happened next was entirely different.

"Wait, what?!?"

Will snorted. "I knew you couldn't do it."

"I can do it!" Lorelei spat back at him, taking a step closer.

"Then do it."

"Alright, I will!"

She didn't.

"You can't do it."

"I can do it!"

"You can't do it."

"I can do it!"

"You sound like a small blue train."

"What?"

"Don't tell me you've never read one of the fundamentals of children's literature."

A pause.

"Well… uh… no, not really."

Will rolled what was supposed to be his eyes but was half-covered by his hair and a stupid-looking black mask. "Oh, come on."

"No, seriously!"

"Even I've done that. So now, I can do anything that you can not do!"

"Fly to the moon."

"'Scuse?"

"Fly to the moon!"

By now, they were both ad-libbing it completely.

Will glanced back at the screen, unable to find a way to retort to this. "I can jump a hurdle."

"I can wear a girdle."

"I can knit a sweater-"

"And I can fill it better!"

"I can do most anything," Will said, shrugging with the proper snarky voice as of he were doing this for real.

"Can you bake a pie?" Lorelei snapped, completely serious.

"No-" Ditto.

"Neither can I." Lorelei turned away from Will at this point, folding her arms.

This went on for pretty much the entire song. Even after the song had actually finished, Will and Lorelei were still going at it with an ad-lib, not even noticing that it was over and not skipping a beat. Nobody had the heart to tell them that they had to stop (and plus, it was too much fun to watch them ad-lib the entire thing anyway).

"Any 'mon you can train, I can train better!" Lorelei snapped.

"I can train a Pokemon better than you." Will laughed out loud.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can."

"Oh no, you can't."

"No, I can't."

"EXACTLY MY POINT!"

"What?" Will squeaked. "You were supposed to say 'Yes, you can!'"

"And you just did."

"… Oh." Will stared at Lorelei for a few seconds.

"Anything you can read, I can read faster!"

"I can read faster than the both of you!" Lucian screamed, huffing onto the stage. "Will you two please SHUT UP?"

"Anything we can be, Lucian can be more annoying…" Will started, ignoring Lucian completely and not missing a beat.

"He's more annoying than the both of us combined…" Lorelei stepped into harmony, also ignoring Lucian.

"No, I'm not!" Lucian objected.

"Yes, you are!" Will and Lorelei sang in harmony.

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Yes I am!" Lucian snapped, clearly wanting to trick them.

"EXACTLY OUR POINT!" Lorelei and Will screamed in harmony.

The latter quickly tagged on, "Weren't you listening?"

"No, I was not!" Lucian growled.

"Then what's the point?" Lorelei shrugged. "If you weren't listening, you wouldn't notice us…"

"Any lie we can tell is better than one of yours." Will folded his arms.

"That's a lie!" Lucian screamed.

"OBJECTION!" Will pointed at Lucian, complete with the dynamic pose.

Everyone watching them was either A: staring open-mouthed or B: nearly suffocating from laughter.

"The time has coooooooome~
It's for the best, I knooooow it..."

Alas, the final chapter of Elite Fail will be posted tomorrow (which just so happens to be Platinum Day for all of us Americans! Yay!)

Thank you for all of your support. The cast (well, okay, some of the cast) and author would like to thank you dearly.

x Giratina