Chapter 22

I Want You

"What are you doing here?" Lilly asked, with her shades still covering her eyes.

"Lilly, I really need to talk to you."

Lilly shook her head. "What more do you want from me Matt? I'd think you'd hate me right now." Lilly said as she crossed her arms in front of her.

Matt stepped forward until he stood completely in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. Lilly backed away, a bit startled, and shook her head.

"What do you want from me? Why are you even here when you know I was with Oliver?" She asked him so bluntly.

She didn't care by then. She felt so low that nothing else could make her happier. At the moment, she just believed that Matt hated her so much and it shocked her how he just took her shoulders then. What's going on his mind?

"I just want to know why." Matt sighed and dropped his head.

"Why what?" Lilly bit her lip.

Matt's face hardened and reached for Lilly's shades. He took the thick glasses and pulled it off to stare deep into her puffy blue eyes. His lips slightly parted, but then they formed a thin line as Lilly gazed up at him.

"Just say it, if you have nothing to say, I'm lea-" Lilly started when he cleared his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me you wanted to be with Oliver?" Matt asked.

Lilly frowned and looked down. She felt guilty. He was being reasonable and she just wanted him to leave. If talk was all he wanted, she could do it right?

"What's wrong? Answer me." He asked and Lilly shuffled her feet under her, looking down and shook her head.

"I'm scared." She replied.

"Why are you scared? You shouldn't be scared." He put his hands, lightly shaking her.

Lilly's eyes glossed over, so she blinked back and looked down.

"Look at me." He said and Lilly brought her face up, but shifted her eyes from him.

"What?" She asked and he sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Oliver, being assertive, asked and tightened his hands on her shoulders.

She took a deep breath and shrugged. "I never wanted to hurt you."

Matt frowned, only to slide his hands from her shoulders and to her hands, but suddenly let go. He shouldn't be too close to her, especially since why he came here was to know the truth about it all. Why she cheated on him and everything.

"But look at what happened now that you put it off all the time." He dropped his head.

Lilly turned to the door and crossed her arms. "I was going to break it off when you came back from New York, but Miley told you that we were still together or whatever." Lilly sighed. "I didn't want to break up with you after that because I'd feel bad."

Matt's eyes widened as he took this in. "You've wanted to break up with me for that long?" He questioned as he stepped forward.

Lilly pursed her lips and nodded. She didn't know how to answer him. He was so calm; she'd think he would've killed her by now.

"I love you though, you know that right?" He asked and Lilly shook her head.

"How can you love someone like me? I hurt so many people." Lilly forced out, feeling her throat tighten just the thought of how she betrayed Miley, hurt Matt by doing something behind his back, and finally breaking up with someone who she cared for and cared for her.

She hurt so much then, it was so overwhelming and she thought breaking up with Oliver would make things easier but not. All she thought about was Oliver then. He was the one she thought about when she woke up, she missed his calls, but of course ignored them. Facing him at school hurt more than anything, especially when she just wanted to jump in his arms and hold him tightly, but she couldn't. She had to figure herself out. She had so much undisclosed emotions in her, it was too much.

"I want to believe you may have feelings for me." Matt said.

Lilly nearly choked when she heard that. Why would he want something like that? She betrayed him, didn't that mean anything? Was he willing to forgive her?

"Why do you want to believe that?" Lilly asked and Matt stepped forward and took her hand.

"This whole drama, I mean, I love you even to just forgive you. If you love me, I'll be by your side, but if you want me to go, then I'll try and let go of the feelings I have for you." Matt said so simply.

Lilly was stunned, Matt really did care for her and she didn't deserve someone like him. Not at all.

"Matt, I really like you, love you even, but my feelings for you are platonic. I love you like a friend." Lilly pursed her lips, waiting for Matt to scream at her, but all Matt did was hung hid head low, slowly moving up and down in a nod.

Matt stuck his hands in his pockets and sucked in air from his mouth. He looked at Lilly, keeping a serious look on his face. "Oliver really does mean something to you then huh?" He asked and Lilly nodded.

"I've always cared for him. He was one of my best friends and I always had a crush on him. Seeing Oliver in Seattle was a big change, I didn't want to take anything from him until the feelings resurfaced and I fell for him again." Lilly looked down and felt like she had to explain more. "I thought dating you would let me forget about him, but when he came back, I tried hard to ignore him, but I wanted to be with him more than anything."

Matt reached forward, with his hand cupping Lilly's cheek, and brought it up. "Hey." He said, catching Lilly's attention and she looked at him.

They locked eyes and Lilly blushed.

"If you wanted to be with him, you shouldn't have stayed with me. Even if I said I didn't want you leaving me for Oliver, you should've said something." He softly smiled.

Lilly felt a little better now that Matt was so easy to talk to, even if she hurt him. She should've told him beforehand, maybe that's why she liked him so much. He was so understanding and sweet. When he played possessive, it didn't match him at all, but now she had to deal with Miley.

"Don't worry." Matt said and rubbed his thumb lightly over her cheek.

Lilly smiled and felt tears slowly slide down her cheeks. She sniffled and backed up and put her hands over her face as she wiped the tears away.

"Why are you crying?" Matt asked and Lilly and put his hands on her shoulders.

Lilly shook her head. "Nothing, I'm just a little happy that you're okay, but overwhelmed you know?" She sighed.

Her heart ached and it meant she was thinking about Oliver now. She missed him, she wanted to be with him, but it would take time until she could finally see him, or bear to see him. She was more afraid to be with him now than ever, especially since Miley found out and at the moment, she wanted to patch things up with Miley.

Matt looked at her worriedly and put hands on her shoulder. "Lilly, you shouldn't stress about anything, I'll talk to Miley, and you just relax."

Lilly shook her head as she wiped her cheek. "I don't know why you're helping me; you should hate me so much right now."

"I could never hate you, Lilly, if anything, you should hate me." He smiled supportively. "But maybe I should go."

Lilly nodded and turned around. She was about to leave him and head inside, but then she turned her head to look at him. He was about to leave the property as well until a thought came to her. A thought that has been bugging her since February.

"Are you secretly dating Miley?" She abruptly said and twisted her body so that she could look at Matt.

Matt stood sideways and looked afar, as if he was searching something. He pursed his lips and stuck his hands hard into his pockets and took a deep breath. He shook his head and smiled.

"Miley, she's annoying, I never thought I'd become close to her, ever, but she's easy to talk to." He glanced at Lilly.

Lilly nodded and crossed her arms tightly in front of her and walked toward him. She stood in front of him, gazing at his face, and it seemed soft and happy, maybe a little too happy.

"Do you like her?" She instantly asked and Matt chuckled.

"Are we feeling better now?" He asked.

And like that, Matt was happy, from something serious and depressing, it turned out not too bad. It made Lilly feel a little safe, but the insecurity about Miley hating her at the moment made her feel a little awkward, less awkward than she did earlier.

"Miley's not the type of girl I'd date, but she's nice." He nodded and brought his hands out from his pockets. He reached for Lilly and hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "I'll always have feelings for you, I don't want you sad, and I really want you to be happy." He kissed her cheek once again and pulled back.

He gave her the missing sunglasses she wore just as Matt met her and she held them in her hands.

"I love you Matt." Lilly said and Matt grinned.

"Bye Lilly." He walked off toward his car.

Lilly tightened her lips into a thin line and took a deep breath. She watched him leave, but just before she turned to go inside, something caught the corner of her eye. She looked back and saw someone walking toward her house, someone familiar.

She squint her eyes and bit her lip when she realized it was Oliver.

She turned around and quickly walked to her door when Oliver cried out to her.

"Lilly just wait!" Oliver jogged to her, but she quickly opened the door and shut it, leaning her back against the door.

Suddenly you could hear pounding come from the door, only for her to close her eyes and wait for him to leave. She held on the door handle, slowly locking it, and hoped he didn't twist the knob. She sunk her upper teeth into her lower lip as his pounds got softer.

"Please Lilly, I'm begging you, open the door, I want to talk to you." Oliver said.

Lilly shut her eyes tightly and frowned. She wanted to open the door and run into his arms and hold in a tight embrace. She wanted to kiss him, pretend like nothing happened, but she held back and did nothing. She just wanted to patch things up with Miley, before anything else.

"Lilly, I miss you." His voice sounded weak, almost like he was going to cry. "Come on."

Lilly sighed and shook her head. She looked up and saw Trisha watching down on her from the top step. As soon as she caught her eye, Trisha walked down the steps quietly and wrapped her arms around Lilly.

"I just want to talk; I want to be with you, you shouldn't be sad." He pounded the door one last time.

Lilly's arms went around Trisha's waist and held her tightly while burying her face into Trisha's shoulder. She tightly shut her eyes and waited long until she heard Oliver's footsteps walked from the door and away. When she was sure Oliver was gone, she sighed and brought her head up.

"I don't know what to do." Lilly said.

"Well right now, Oliver sounds 'stalkerish'; are you sure you want to avoid him?" Trisha asked and pulled back from the hug.

"I don't know." Lilly uneasily replied and leaned back on the door and looked up at the ceiling.

"You know, the more you avoid him, the more he'll want to see you."

Lilly nodded and swallowed hard. She was scared, he'll eventually think she's avoiding him. Goodness, it was just too much, she had to be stronger for this type of stuff, but she was scared. She can't face him, yet.

"I want to see him, I want to hug him, I want him to make me feel better, but I can't afford any more drama."

Trisha shook her head and furrowed her brows. "Honestly Lilly, you should just forget about Miley and go to Oliver. He's the one that matters now. You've known him since preschool; you've known Miley since 7th grade, who means more to you? You held a close intimate relationship with him, do something about it and don't let go of him." Trisha advised.

Lilly thought long and hard. Trisha was right; she had to go to Oliver. Her next chance will probably be sometime soon, but it scared her, she didn't know how to face him. Oliver and Lilly had been friends since preschool; she was close to him for a long time. She can't let go of him now. Miley wasn't that close of a friend, but still a best friend.

"I'll think about it." Lilly told Trisha. "I don't know if I'll talk to Oliver right away, but I want to do something about Miley."

Trisha nodded and accepted that. She took a hold of Lilly's arm and pulled her toward the kitchen to find some food to make Lilly happy. Lilly need to feel better and fast.

A/N So hope you liked this chapter! It's almost over with… Ah. Well hope you liked this chapter!