A/N: This chapter kicked my butt because I wanted to convey the right emotions. I'm not fully satisfied with it, but there's nothing more I can do. So, this is the chapter where you learn about Bella's past… (whoo) Lots of talking and no sexy time. Sorry, but it had to be done. I'll make it up to you lovelies soon, I promise.

Chapter 10 – The Talk

BPOV

"What aren't you telling us?" Angela demanded in the middle of my story.

"What makes you think I'm not telling you something?" I asked, unwilling to impart the whole embarrassing and unbelievable truth upon them.

"Because you're blushing like it's going out of style!" Rachel giggled, making my face redder, if that was possible.

"Fine," I admitted. "I may have left out something between the time I showed up at his office and we went out for dinner."

"Which was…" Angela prompted, riveted before the words even came out of my mouth.

"I asked him to kiss me," I confessed, almost whispering.

"And…" Rachel cut in, apparently frustrated by my answer. She hadn't known me long enough to understand why this was atypical for me.

"You asked him to kiss you," Angela restated slowly, emphasizing the first 'you', as if she couldn't wrap her mind around the idea of me being forthcoming with a guy. Not that I could blame her. I was having trouble with the same thing.

Honestly, I had no idea what overcame me yesterday. After class, I had found myself dwelling on Edward and suddenly was in front of the music building. So I dug down for some confidence and sought out his office, figuring he would not be there.

But he was there. And he had looked so adorable when I surprised him. Then he had looked incredibly sexy when I caught him staring at my mouth.

I cannot believe I asked him to kiss me! What was wrong with me? I never acted like that, ever. I didn't even know how to flirt properly. What had possessed me to act so boldly?

Momentarily lost in recollection, I smiled at the memory of our kiss. Every touch between Edward and me was becoming more intimate and intense. It was getting to the point that I never wanted to stop kissing him… and touching him.

"What happened to the shy Bella I know and love?" Angela asked, very confused.

"Beats me," I replied with a shrug, running my eyes over the carpet. My inability to lie was infamous, so it always helped me to concentrate on something other than my words while I knowingly lied.

I knew the answer. It was Edward. Whenever I got close to him, something almost animalistic overcame me and all I wanted to do was tackle him to the ground, strip off all his clothes, and lick every square inch of his body. And as if having these urges wasn't bad enough, I was also dreaming about them. This was fast becoming more than I could handle.

I looked up from the carpet. They both sat on the couch, staring at me as if a second head had suddenly appeared on my shoulder. "What?" I demanded.

Angela broke the stunned silence first. "It's nothing. Just… I can't see you doing that."

"Not that I don't love the new take-charge Bella, it is hard to grasp," Rachel added with a small smile.

I nodded in understanding. Very uncharacteristic of me, indeed.

"But, he liked it, right?" Rachel asked me.

"Liked what? The kiss?" Oh, I felt how much he liked the kiss.

"No, silly. The new side to you," Rachel retorted.

I shrugged. "I guess. He had this shocked look on his face right after, but then he smiled this incredibly sexy little smile and the kiss was…" I paused, searching for the right words, "slow motion worthy."

"Slow motion worthy?" Angela echoed, her forehead furrowed in puzzlement.

"It's like when I'm on my deathbed and my life flashes before my eyes, instead of that kiss being a flash, I will relive it in slow motion. Because it's slow motion worthy," I explained.

"Huh," Rachel snorted. "I like that. Is it okay if I use that sometime?"

"Sure, go ahead," I mumbled, my cheeks heating up. Oh, sure. Now I blush. Apparently I can throw myself at the sexiest man alive without any problems, but simple praise from a friend? Forget about it.

"I'm confused about why you didn't want to tell us what happened, even if it is different behavior for you. There's nothing wrong with it, as far as I can tell, so what's bothering you?" Angela asked earnestly. Rachel nodded her agreement.

"I don't want to take this… whatever it is between Edward and me too fast, but I have trouble remembering my name, much less a coherent thought, any time Edward is within a foot of me," I explained. "I don't want…" my thoughts faltered, old memories flooding back and a wet, aching pressure grew behind my eyes. "I don't want…"

"Another Jacob," Angela supplied quietly, guessing at what I was trying to say.

I nodded, a tear escaping the corner of my eye. I swiped it away quickly; ashamed that after all this time the memories still had some sort of effect on me. I wanted nothing more than to forget it had ever happened and move past it, but somehow it never left me whenever I met a guy I liked.

"Oh, honey," Rachel murmured in a motherly tone, getting up to pull me into a hug.

"Edward really seems to like you, from what you've told us," Angela said softly. "And if you talk to him about how you're feeling, I'm sure he'll understand and comply with your wishes."

"Yeah?" I asked, looking at Angela over Rachel's shoulder.

She nodded, smiling reassuringly.

"Okay. Thanks, both of you," I said gratefully, making sure to include Rachel. Glancing at the clock, I added, "I should get ready for tonight. Edward said he'd be here at 6."

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked me.

I shrugged. "He told me dinner and then we're hanging out with his sister and her boyfriend."

"Wait a second, his sister? That girl from the store we went to a couple days ago?" Angela asked enthusiastically.

"The one and the same," I said dryly.

"Did you tell Edward what she told you?"

"No," I said firmly. "No way, no how am I going to repeat that to him."

"Wait, what's going on? What did she say?" Rachel asked, looking back and forth between Angela and me.

Angela rolled her eyes. "Fine, don't tell him. But I bet she does."

My face flushed. Would she? How humiliating would that be? Just how much humiliation can one person stand in a week? I was sure I had reached my limit yesterday, but obviously God hated me.

"Hello," Rachel said, waving her hand to get our attention. "I want to know what the sister said."

"Come on, Rach. Let's leave Bella to get ready for tonight," Angela said, getting up from the couch. She gave me a quick hug, whispering, "Don't forget to talk to him," before leading Rachel away.

I heard Angela start retelling the story before they walked out of earshot. Great.

Talk to him. I can do that. I think…

A knock on the door made my stomach drop and turn a somersault. I looked at the clock – 6 p.m. on the dot. Does he have to do everything perfectly? It was just getting irritating now. Seriously.

I walked unsteadily on my heels to the door and pulled it open, revealing a god of a man. He stood before me in black dress pants and a forest green button-down shirt underneath his winter coat. I sighed inwardly as he smiled that beautiful crooked smile at me.

"Hi," I breathed.

"Hello, beautiful," he said, gently grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. My own perfect gentleman. Seeing him brought every frizzled nerve and anxious feeling I had back to a state of calmness. I could talk to him about anything, I realized. There was no need to be embarrassed, especially when he was looking at me like that.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, still smiling.

"Yes," I replied, slipping my hand around his offered arm. I shut the door behind me before we walked to the passenger's side of his car. He opened the door for me and I slid in, adjusting my skirt so it wouldn't get caught in the door.

I took in a quick deep breath before he opened the driver's side door and slid in beside me. "Did you have a good day?" I asked him, opting for some small talk before we made it to wherever we were going to.

"Yes, I did. Of course, it's gotten a lot better now that I'm with you," he said in his charming way.

I smiled, blushing at his words and the way my heart jumped in delight upon hearing them. We continued conversing about the time we had spent apart as he drove to the restaurant. I recognized it immediately when he pulled the car up.

"How did you know this is my favorite restaurant?" I asked suspiciously. Where would he learn this? I doubt anybody really knew how often I came here.

"Um… I didn't. Coincidentally, it's one of my favorite places to eat and I wanted to share it with you," he explained, glancing at me nervously.

I flushed. Really, Bella? Way to freak out over nothing. Of course he liked this place too. It had good, relatively cheap food and was ridiculously popular with Shelton students.

"Sorry," I mumbled, unbuckling my seatbelt as he turned off the engine.

"Nothing to be sorry about," he assured, smiling fondly. "I deserved that."

I blinked in confusion as he got out and walked around to my door. What did that mean? Edward opened my door and I stepped out, taking the offered hand once again.

"What did you mean, you deserved that?" I asked gently, standing in front of him.

He blushed. He actually blushed. I think this was the first time I had seen him blush. It was endearing.

"Because I know I kind of freaked you out earlier this week with the flowers and showing up at your classroom unexpectedly," he clarified.

"Oh," I breathed unconsciously, processing that information and replaying what had happened. His explanation made sense when you looked at it that way, even if it was the wrong way to look at it. I had to set him right or I would never forgive myself. "I didn't mean it like that. I let my nerves get the best of me and… I'm sorry."

"Your nerves?" he repeated. "Why are you nervous?"

I looked away, taking a sudden interest in the cracked cement of the parking lot. "Could we wait until we're inside to talk about it?"

"Sure," he said, closing the car door. We walked to the front entrance holding hands, but the usual comfort I found in his touch was replaced with unease about the coming conversation. Where had that confidence from earlier gone?

Why did I say 'my nerves'? I thought, reprimanding myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The hostess showed us to a corner booth that gave a semblance of privacy. However, the rowdy group of young girls seated in the booth beside us might become bothersome as the night progressed, but then again, they could provide the perfect excuse for me to back out of the "serious" talk.

I guess Edward was thinking along the same lines because he asked the hostess if we could switch booths to a quieter part of the restaurant. Suppressing a groan, I followed them to the opposite side of the room and slid into the open bench.

Keeping my head down to give the impression I was engrossed in the menu that I actually had memorized, I risked sneaking a peek over at Edward. Just to see what he was doing.

He was staring at me, hands clasped in front of him on top of the table. The picture of patience.

I felt like curling into a ball and whimpering, but opted for a less dramatic way to hide by putting my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the table. This effectively cut off my line of sight past the menu, but it did nothing to stop Edward from talking to me.

"Bella, if you don't want to talk to me about whatever is bothering you, that's fine," he said and I felt him lightly tug on my hands. "But please don't hide your face from me." I dropped my hands, not resisting his tugs because, honestly, that was the sweetest thing anyone had said to me. Ugh, I should have dated more. Then maybe I wouldn't be such a sap for his lines.

Oh, like anyone else could ever make you feel as bone-melting special as he does, or dazzle you with a single look, I scoffed at myself. Searching his face, I saw sincerity, understanding, and… something I could only describe as adoration. Why was I ever worried or nervous about this?

"Edward," I began, "I want to tell you." Taking a deep breath, I got ready to pour my heart out.

"Good evening, folks. Can I get you something to drink?" a guy who I presumed to be our server asked, choosing the worst moment to show up and do his job.

Edward chuckled – I'm sure partly from my annoyed expression about the guy's impeccable timing. "Two cokes, please."

"Okay. Are you guys ready to order or do you need a few minutes?"

I gave him the briefest of glances, saying the first thing that popped into my head, "Baked ziti."

"Make that two," Edward added, flashing our server a quick "thank you" smile. After the guy left, Edward took my hands in his and started rubbing small circles on the top of them with his thumbs. "Take your time."

I took another deep breath, trying to figure out where to start. "I know this is the third date and with that come certain expectations." Edward started disagreeing with my statement, but I cut him off. "Please let me get through this. You know how I told you last night I haven't dated much?" He nodded and I continued, "Well, there's a reason for that."

I swept my eyes around us, hesitating to divulge sensitive information around prying ears. Edward sensed my indecision and he gracefully moved to my side of the booth, keeping hold of one of my hands. The instant warmth I felt at his closeness made me calmer and more collected.

"I would never force you to do anything you don't want to do. I hope you know that, Bella," Edward said softly, staring deeply into my eyes.

"I do, but I want, no, I need to share this with you," I said more confidentially than I felt. "I was involved with a guy in high school. We had known each other since childhood because our fathers were friends, but I didn't really get to know him, Jacob, until I lived with Charlie full-time during high school," I said in a rush, taking a peek at Edward's face as I paused. He was still with me, so I continued. "Nothing really happened until the summer between my junior and senior year. We started spending more time together and gradually became closer and closer until one day we declared our love for each other. I can't even begin to tell you how ecstatic this made Charlie when we told him…"

I trailed off, chuckling as I remembered Charlie's face when Jacob and I told him about our newfound relationship. I was afraid at the time that he would strain the muscles in his face from grinning so widely.

"Anyway, everything was good until I went to visit Renee during Spring Break. She and Phil were involved in a car accident and my mother had to be placed in Intensive Care for extensive injuries. She's fine now, but I stayed in Florida to be with her and help Phil out, which ended up being an additional two weeks. My teachers were really cool about it, letting me e-mail or fax my homework to them, and I talked to Jacob and Charlie every night. I never guessed that…" I paused to shake my head, clearing out my thoughts. "Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself."

Our server chose that moment to bring us our drinks. I smiled my thanks to him, feeling bad about how short I had been with him earlier. He was just doing his job, after all. Edward squeezed my hand and gave me a half-smile as if to say he was there for me, no matter what.

"So, where was I? Right, Renee got better and finally made me go back to Forks. Jacob had told me that his sister was in Forks for the week for her Spring Break and she had brought a friend with her, but I never gave it a second thought after he mentioned it. For some reason that I still don't understand, I didn't tell Jacob I was coming back when I did. I guess I wanted to surprise him. But, he ended up surprising me because when I showed up at his house a couple hours after I got back, I found him with another girl, the "friend" that was visiting." It was here my voice broke, even though I didn't feel sad or angry about what had happened. Edward's mere presence made me feel better.

"Were they…?" Edward asked sympathetically, alluding to the big "it".

"No, but she was all over him. Jacob noticed me standing there and I saw him shove her off of him before I turned and ran. It was… awful and heartbreaking to see because I thought I was special to him, and the fact that he could be with someone else after I was only gone for three weeks! It hurt me beyond words," I admitted with a sigh.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," Edward said soothingly. He reached up and stroked my cheek. "And I could literally kill that punk for hurting you so much."

"I don't know. Maybe it was good for me to see it then instead of later when I had invested more emotions and experiences with him. But at the time, all I could think about was getting out, of Forks, of Washington…"

"And that's why you went to Florida for college," Edward stated rather than questioned.

I smiled sadly. "It was a big reason, yes."

"So, why did you come back?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

"I missed my father and hated to think of him up here all alone," I explained, taking a drink of my soda. I caught a look of surprise flash across Edward's face and asked him, "What?"

"I think that's really great of you. Coming back for your dad."

"Thanks," I muttered, blushing at the praise. I seriously needed to work on the whole accepting compliments without becoming embarrassed thing.

"So, have you talked to Jacob since then? Did he ever try to explain himself?" Edward asked curiously.

"Yeah, he came by my house and called me daily for about a month, but then he slowly got the message that I wanted nothing to do with him. Then I graduated and left and I haven't heard from him since."

Our food arrived and we ate in silence. It was a comfortable silence, but I knew Edward had more questions.

I reflected on what I had told him and how differently I felt about what had occurred then and now. Right after I found Jacob in the heavy make-out session with that girl, I thought it was the end of the world. Of course, I had only been 17 and had no idea at the time that someone like Edward existed, or that the experience would mature me and make me want to experience and live in the world outside of Forks.

Getting my heart broken was probably the best thing that could have happened to me, honestly, because it made me do things I never would have otherwise. How can I stay upset over what happened when it worked out to my advantage?

And suddenly, I was fine. I was on a date with a wonderful guy that I really liked. I briefly wondered how different my life would be if I hadn't caught Jacob when I did, but the whole thing reminded me of the movie "Sliding Doors" too much.

Forget about Jacob and concentrate on the here and now. You've moved on because you're not that girl anymore and look, you're with a ridiculously good-looking man… who has finished his ziti and looks like he's going to ask more questions. I braced myself for what he was going to throw at me.

"So, the "Jacob" thing is why you didn't date?"

"At first, but then it just became easier to turn guys down than to let a stranger into my life. I've never felt like getting that close to someone else who could hurt me," I clarified, suddenly losing my appetite because I knew what his next question would be.

"Why did you say yes to me?" he asked, as if on cue.

Do you want the full answer or the edited one? I asked him in my head, opting for the edited version.

"You dazzled me."

Edward barked out a laugh, causing him to choke on the sip of soda he had just taken. "I dazzled you?" he coughed out.

"Yep. I lost control of all rational thoughts and responded purely on instinct," I explained, impressed at myself for saying that without blushing. Maybe it was because he wasn't really paying attention to me from all the coughing he was doing. I laughed and patted him on the back until he was alright.

"That's good, I guess," he remarked, still looking bashful at my earlier comment. It was utterly adorable.

I laughed again, this time at his expression, feeling giddy and extremely happy all of a sudden. A weight of my past had been lifted. Somehow the simple act of telling Edward everything had healed me more than the past five years. As cliché as it was, I was riding a high on life and loving every minute.

Edward turned to me, asking "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"Yes."

We got up and he paid for our meal at the front cash register. On the way back to the car, I placed a hand on his arm. "Thanks for listening to that spiel. I really like you, Edward, and I wanted you to know why I might be… slower at accepting some things between us."

"Thanks for telling me, Bella, and I understand. I wish it hadn't happened because I hate the idea of you being hurt, but I can't help feeling thankful for that idiot's screw-up." Edward stopped and turned me to face him. "Because I'm the guy lucky enough to be with you now."

Unbelievable. Could this guy get any more perfect?

His mouth brushed across my cheek, making me shiver. "He was a damn fool and I want you to know I would never do that to you."

I prayed he was right because, against my better judgment, I had fallen in love with him. After three days.

Stupid, stupid, stupid…

A/N: I've never been cheated on (thankfully), so I hope I conveyed Bella's hurt and subsequent reaction accurately. It's a fine line I'm trying to walk here, and I realize I may get nasty reviews from upset readers later on in the story, but :shrugs: what can you do?