Chapter 4

Merlin leaned against the pillar moodily as the noise in the hall quieted down at the King's order. He'd spent the first part of the coronation behind that pillar, hiding so that he wouldn't be roped into helping. He was sure Gwen had seen him but nothing came of it. In fact, he was reasonably sure that she'd also made sure no one else had disturbed him either.

The knights of Camelot stood as Arthur, looking dashingly handsome, kneeled in front of his father, King Uther. From behind his trusty pillar, Merlin growled as he watched Lady Avilia grin smugly, stopping when the Knight ahead of him turned around in bafflement.

As he recited his vows and promises to the kingdom of Camelot, Merlin felt a surge of pride and joy. He swallowed thickly as he felt himself falling deeper and deeper in love with Arthur, hugging the pillar tightly as the strange new feeling washed over him. It was clearly very, very wrong. He was only setting himself up for the fall he reminded himself. In the end he was only ever going to be hurt. But that didn't change anything. If a broken heart was what he had to suffer for his feelings then he'd suffer it gladly, for it paled in comparison to the unyielding sense of love and passion he felt for Arthur.

Uther turned to pick up the crown that was brought to him by a manservant on a thick velvet cushion with golden tassels. In that moment, Arthur titled his head backwards and suddenly his eyes met with those of Merlin's, hidden though he was by his suddenly not-so-trusty pillar.

Corny though it may seem, time seemed to slow down. Arthur's eyes lit up when they connected with Merlin's, a bond igniting across the great expanse of the hall, unhindered nevertheless by the space between them. Merlin's heart leapt at the emotion he saw in Arthur's eyes. Leaning his head against the pillar, he smiled softly at him and nodded. Arthur nodded gently back at him, the corners of his mouth tilting upwards slightly in response.

Turning back to his father, Arthur held his head up with renewed vigour and determination as the king blessed him before the crown was placed on his head. Standing up he took his sceptre proudly and turned to the rest of the audience. Applause reverberated around the hall as everyone cheered for the newly crowned prince.

'You know, if you're not careful someone will be led to believe that you have unhealthy feelings for that pillar.'

Merlin jumped at the sound of Gaius' voice. Wrapped up as he was with his new discovery, he hadn't heard his mentor approach. Quickly detaching himself from the pillar in question, he smiled thinly at the old man, trying to look as cheerfully optimistic as he always did but probably failing miserably.

Gaius smiled back at him and patted him on the shoulder.

'Merlin, there's no use in hiding behind a pillar all night. Just go and tell him how you feel.'

'I have no idea what you're talking about.' Merlin replied quickly, a bit too quickly, his eyes wide.

Gaius sighed and shook his head.

'You're not fooling anyone Merlin, you always were an awful liar. You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you ever listen to me just for once, go and tell Arthur how you feel. At least then you'll know what he thinks. Or you'll spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?"'

'I can't.' Merlin shook his head, looking panicked at the very idea.

'Don't be afraid Merlin, I know you can. You'll still be his manservant whatever happens but it's always better to have some closure. There's no way you can run away from this dilemma, so just meet it head on and take a chance.'

Gaius smiled wanly at him before turning away to follow a tray of stuffed quail eggs. Merlin watched him go, cursing him for making him feel this anxious. Looking the other way he saw Arthur subtly go outside onto the balcony, sensing a good opportunity present itself. Patting the stonework firmly, he muttered,

'Wish me good luck pillar,' before quickly following Arthur outside.