Odette walked into the armory of the castle, tired from a day of training with Derek, now that her normal partner, Fiera was gone. Derek was a good teacher and opponent, but Fiera was admittedly better. It was hard for Odette to even pretend fighting someone she loved. A few times, she and Fiera would lose their concentration and become careless, the result being someone getting hurt. The injuries would, of course, always be minor, but when she fought Derek, who was not as fast as Fiera, Odette couldn't help but think the odds of a severe injury increasing.
When she opened the door, she had the urge to be silent, though she was sure she was alone in the expansive room. Despite its size and the amount of people living in it, the castle would often have many empty rooms. But, on the other side of the room, she saw Angel, staring intensely out the window, muttering something beneath his breath. She ducked behind a row of spears, not wanting to be discovered, but interested in what he was saying.
"Oh, what to say, what to say?" Angel asked himself as he paced in front of his window. The snow from the days past collected on the panes and smothered them in white, fluffy snow, snow that contradicted his mood in such a way that he wished he were in the middle of a freezing rain. At least that would mirror his pain, his feelings. "But there is no rain, not until spring. I'll make do with this miserably biting snow and freezing, howling wind.
"Oh, Fiera, I wish you were here. I wish I could take your hand, smell your hair, laugh, feeling happiness and peace as I hear the sound of your voice. But no more, these dreams of the past, of a future that may never be. I lose the name of action in your absence, Fiera, dearest Fiera, most heroic, my Fiera. What should I say, do, think, hear, see, smell? Why is something that was so fluent and effortless in your presence so difficult while you are… gone. Eternally sleeping. Dead – the word I have fought since the beginning of this ordeal. I loved you, Fiera. And you loved me, or so I believed with all my heart. And I had good reason to believe. It was true. You loved me as I loved you. We loved each other.
"I can't bring myself to say goodbye. I don't want to. My simple foolish refusal is the only thing that stops me. And why? Because you have never left me like this before. You have never been out of my reach, so irretrievable. I am far too accustomed to you – still, even as you are, yes, dead – being at my side. I feel like nothing can ever be useful to me, so empty is life and all its possibilities now, without you.
"I may have lost the name of action, but now I understand the name of cowardice. You, who would go on through storms much worse than this, you, who would brave enemies even as they chained you down as their captive, you, who would fight odds that seemed impossible even the mightiest of legendary heroes, would have moved forward by now. Maybe you wouldn't forget me, and I pray you never will, but you would set a path for yourself, not hide here in your misery, drowning in your woe, as I am now.
"The tears have stopped flowing. The funeral processions have ended. And yet the mourning continues – for me, at the very least. My heart continues to break, to shatter, to be pulverized by the weight of a loss that should have never happened. Unhappy fortune! Dire, unmasked, fearless, and destructive treachery! You have taken Fiera from me. You, along with a witch whom I cannot find, have taken my love.
"Oh Fiera, I wish I could hear you speak. I wish I could hear you just whisper once to me, once more so that I can breathe again in peace. But you can't. And I must move on. No, not forget, never that. But move on. And I shall. From this time forth, my thoughts will be progressive, or, in the very least, nonexistent, so that someone else may see the path to take. Tomorrow, your legacy continues through the cadets you left behind, who still have much to learn. I hope they will remember what you have already taught them so well."
It was almost hard for Odette to listen. It was all true, of course. But to hear it spoken so candidly was different from the hushed tones of conversations that did nothing more than offer condolences without truly easing the pain.
Presently, Angel turned around, and she was discovered. Subconsciously, she had moved forward from the row of spears, and now that she was found out, there was no escape. She'd been caught listening to Angel's soliloquy.
"I'm sorry, Angel," she quickly apologized, barely able to get the words out of her mouth fast enough.
"No, don't be," he replied, waving his hand, trying unsuccessfully to be nonchalant. "Maybe it's better someone finally heard how I feel. I mean, without the mask I've been wearing to conceal the pain. But you seemed to be listening intently, so there is one more thing I need to add while I'm being so forward about the way I'm feeling right now.
"I want to thank you, Odette, for everything."
"What exactly is 'everything?'" she asked. "I feel like this is my fault, but I don't think that's the 'everything' you mean. Other than that, though, I feel like I've really done nothing."
"You've sung her praises and comforted me. Even when you were listening just now, you were listening with more your heart than your ears. You have lost a best friend, and I have lost a love - my love. We have both seen the death of a part of our lives. Whether or not we have thought about it until now, we were brought together the day you and Fiera met. And when Sabian was defeated, our four-way friendship was formed. And now that it's down to three, both you and Derek have remained loyal, something that not everyone would do."
"There's no need to thank me for that," Odette assured him. "And what else could I do?"
"You could have turned your back on me at any time, I supposed. Maybe paid Fiera only her final respects and never think nor speak nor hear of her again. You could have simply forgotten about both of us and moved on with whatever you wanted to do as queen of the Guardians. Something along those lines."
"I would never. Maybe someone else would, but certainly not me, I promise you. And after everything Fiera's done for me, if I don't praise her and show respect to her, then I would be remiss. She's gone, but still respected by me."
"And again, all I can do is thank you, Odette. Your friendship and kindness has helped me tremendously. That being said, however, I must take charge. While the First Captain is unable to perform her duties" Odette listened to the careful way he worded the sentence "I must act in her place, and that means training cadets tomorrow, which means I'll have to be up bright and early. Goodnight, Odette. Thank you once more."
He swept out of the room, walking swiftly to his tower that he had shared with Fiera since the early days of their being First and Second Captain, leaving Odette alone with her own emotions.
However, her state of being unaccompanied did not last long, as Cassandra, her mother, somehow sensing distress – more than what would be normal under the circumstances – in the castle. Immediately following her motherly instincts, which had been buried from being stuck as a statue for twenty odd years, she went directly to Odette.
"How are you, dear?" she asked, concern plain in her voice, softening Odette's sharp pain in her heart.
"Better… and somehow still worse at the same time, if you can believe that's possible," Odette replied, unsure of how to answer the question in any other way.
"I understand, Odette. Don't worry about trying to make it too clear."
"It's just so hard to see everyone around me, and myself included, in such pain. I miss Fiera. I really do. I miss my best friend. But I'm not the one in the worst pain, as bad as it may be. Angel looks like he could break down at any moment."
"Just because he's Guardian doesn't mean he's without human emotions."
Odette pondered that. "Yes, you're right. The only real differences are the cultural and physical ones. But the emotions and most of the thought processes seem to be the same, if I remember right, and if I can consider myself to have been human before all this." She waved her hand, illustrating for her mother the expanse of not only the castle, but everything about being a Guardian in Elmswell.
"Well, you lived among humans, you were raised by humans, and you had no more powers than a human. So, yes, I suppose you qualify, in some small way, as having been a human."
"Things were certainly much easier than before," Odette muttered.
Cassandra nodded in agreement. "I can imagine so."
"I didn't have so many friends back then, so many responsibilities. I only really had father and Derek, and when father passed away and I was kidnapped, Derek was really the only person left in the world for me, and I didn't even know if he would be able to save me. And sure, there was always Rogers and Bromley, but they weren't really my friends. Derek knew them better than I did. Fiera was my best friend. I loved her as a sister. Listen to me, I'm talking as if I've been here for years instead of months."
"Well, I can see why. Galatea and I have always been friends. We knew the two of you would hit it off, even if Fiera wasn't born until after I was trapped as a statue. I was glad you both found each other. I appreciate everything she did for you."
"I just never thought I could love anyone like that. Like a family, I mean. Of course I love Derek, more than my own life, in fact. But Fiera was my sister, my teacher, my friend. She saved my life with her dying breath. How can I not love her and miss her?"
"No one's asking you not to, dear," Cassandra reminded her gently.
"I know, but it feels like I'm dwelling on it too much. What I need to be worrying about is Leda. She's still alive, and she's got to be stopped before this happens again."
"Leda won't be easily defeated, Odette. I've known her for a long time, and I promise, she will fight you until the bitter end."
"Then let her fight me. Why does she hate us so much?"
"It has to do with a war that I thought had ended a long time ago and had only been fought among demons and Guardians, not just Guardians squabbling amongst themselves. Sabian raised a huge army, large enough to effectively wipe out Elmswell. This was when I was a young queen. Anyway, we would have been defeated if I had not beseeched t he other Guardian cities to unite against Sabian.
"When Sabian's army was routed, the leaders of the Guardian communities thought it would be a good idea to remain together, in case of another war. They unanimously voted me as queen, in power only when military duties called for it. Leda, back then, was a wealthy leader of another Guardian city. When her city was annexed into our family domain, she became angry, although it was still hers to govern as she pleased, and has hated us ever since then. I never thought it would escalate to this…"
Odette fumed. "So my best friend was killed over an insignificant piece of land that she never truly lost, but merely had to allow you to lead in military operations? She didn't lose anything, and I've lost my best friend, while another of my friends is drowning in pain."
"As much as I wish things were different, yes, Odette. That's what it amounts to."
Odette sighed, clearing her mind. "Well, we don't know how to track her, and until we do, the best thing is to be ready. And I suppose being ready means a good night of sleep. I'll see you in the morning, mother. Goodnight."
When the goodnight was returned, Odette walked upstairs, still feeling a weight on her shoulders. How was she going to find Leda? And what would she do when she did?
So, I suppose I owe some explanation for the soliloquy thing :D My defense: Shakespeare is a mind conqueror. And Kenneth Branagh is the best (and yes, the best looking) Hamlet EVER. Listening to him is simply… Okay, shutting up about that. Anyway, I wanted to try a soliloquy, so I figured Angel would be the one most likely to do it, what with him being the most pained by his lost love. So, all that babble being, well, babbled, read and review. And thanks for reading.