A/N: I know it's been a while. Sorry 'bout that.

Three things: (All links are on my profile)

1. I wrote a fanfiction recommendation for The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster blog. They have some great recs over there and very insightful articles about Twilight fanfiction and fandom in general. I highly recommend checking them out.

2. I'm one of four hosts on a Twilight fanficton podcast (the only one out there, as far as we know), called Temptation. It's me, Moon[dot]Witche, DQRC (Rialle over on Twilighted), and The Romanticidal Edwardian. We're also up on iTunes, if that'd be easier for you.

3) My bb –le jen– has started her first multi-chaptered story and it's going to be fabulous. A must read, if there ever was one.

Okay, enough pimpage. Back to the story…

Chapter 15 - Funeral

EPOV

Bella fell asleep leaning against my arm long before Renee and I finished talking. I saw a lot of Bella in her mother during those couple of hours – the same half-smile, same carefree laugh, and a lot of her mannerisms; including the need to fidget with whatever happened to be within reach.

Renee told me she should probably leave soon, so I picked Bella up bridal-style and took her upstairs. I placed her on her bed, taking off her shoes and getting her comfortable before tucking her in. Returning to Renee downstairs, we said our good-byes and I checked every window and door to make sure the entire house was locked down tight. I didn't feel right sleeping in Charlie's room or in Bella's room, for that matter - and since those were the only two bedrooms in the house - I grabbed a pillow and throw and stretched out as much as I could on the couch. It took me a while to fall asleep, but when I finally did, it was a deep slumber that lasted the entire night.

The next day Renee came back over, so she and Bella could finalize the details of the funeral arrangements that Renee had made yesterday. Bella looked a little more 'together' today, less fragile. Since I felt like I had no place voicing my opinions about… anything, I spent my time cleaning up the house and studying the parts of Bella's life that I hadn't been around for. The pictures lining Charlie's fireplace mantle were almost like a timeline of Bella's childhood, starting with an adorable, toothy-grinning four year old Bella, all the way to her in a black cap and gown at her college graduation. The transformation from girl to woman was something I was sorry I had missed out on.

She would have been something to see in high school. I could just imagine the teenager she had been – the beautiful, but shy girl who attracted more attention than she wanted. She was still that girl, but I saw a deeper strength in her that I don't think even she knew about. And it was in that strength where I placed my trust that Bella would pull through. That we would have our chance to continue what we had started a couple days ago.

Occasionally the doorbell would ring, announcing yet another person who wished to express their condolences, while shoving food in our faces. I hadn't seen this much casserole since… um, well since never.

Alice called me around five that evening wanting an update on Bella and everything that was going on. I let it slip the funeral was going to be held tomorrow afternoon and the next thing I knew, she was telling me that she and Jasper would be there.

"Alice, you don't have to come up here. Bella already knows you care about her," I argued, trying to talk some sense into her. I was sure Jasper didn't want to skip work and drive four hours each way just to attend a funeral. But Alice wouldn't back down.

"Yes, I know that, brother of mine, but that's not going to stop me from being there for her when she needs me," she explained, clearly exasperated with me.

I huffed and puffed about it for a little longer, but eventually let it go. There was no changing Alice's mind once it was set.

A small part of me was glad Alice and Jasper would be there tomorrow. There was nothing worse than being thrown into an event in a place you've never been, surrounded by people you've never met.

But I would never tell Alice that.

Two delicate arms encircled my waist from behind once I ended the call. I smiled and turned in them, putting my arms around her shoulders and tucking her head under my chin. "Tired?" I asked, dropping a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Mmmm… not really," she replied, rubbing the side of her face against my shirt.

"Are you hungry? I could make some dinner. Really it'd just be heating up some casserole, but we could pretend I'd made it."

Bella pulled back enough to look up at me, her beautiful face scrunched up. "I think we'll be eating casserole for the next year. Don't people have anything better to do around here?"

"Bella, you can't fault people for caring about you and wanting to support you, even if they happen to show that support in the form of a nine by twelve Pyrex dish."

She made a 'hmph' sound in the back of her throat and rested her forehead back against my chest. I let her rest for a second, mainly because I loved the feel of her in my arms, before I hustled her to the kitchen and warmed up the least offensive looking casserole in the refrigerator.

I've been luckier than most, I guess. In the course of my life, I've only attended three funerals – my great aunt Ruth's when I was seven; a friend of a friend who died in an automobile accident during high school; and my grandfather's just two years ago. So, to say that I know what to do at a funeral is a big, fat lie. Especially when I'm there to be the support of someone who was extremely close to the deceased.

The one thing that always seemed to stay the same was the funeral home. No matter where, or when, I had attended a funeral, the funeral homes all looked alike - the same red brick house with the same white columns, and the exact shade of dark brown wood panels lining the hallway. It was like someone had a funeral home cookie cutter and just stamped them out in every town and every city throughout the country.

This wasn't the way I wanted to meet Charlie and, as I looked down at him, I realized open caskets creeped me out. There was something about seeing the shell of a person, knowing this was no longer home to whatever made that person a person. Goosebumps erupted up and down both my arms as I thought about it.

Bella sobbed next to me, my arm wrapped tightly around her waist, as much to comfort as to keep her standing. Renee and Phil, fortunately, led her away to sit down in the front pew, but I stood my ground for another minute. There was something I had to say to Charlie, even if this wasn't him anymore.

"I wish we had met under different circumstances. I know I would have liked you and I can only hope that you would have liked me." I paused, looking over my shoulder at Bella's bowed head and shaking shoulders. "I love your daughter very much, sir, and I just wanted to say 'thank you'. Thank you for raising her and loving her and being there for her when she needed someone."

My little speech done with, I turned away and walked over to Bella. Angela had sat down next to her during the brief time that I said my peace to Charlie and she was hugging Bella tightly. I couldn't hear what Angela said to Bella, but whatever it was, it calmed her down enough that she stopped sobbing.

Angela looked up when I reached them and released her hold on Bella. She stood in front of me and whispered, "She'll be alright. She just needs a couple of minutes, which thankfully she'll get before people start coming in. She needs you, though."

With that, Angela turned and strode down the length of the first pew to her parents, who were sitting across the way. It was just them and us in the room at the moment. The funeral didn't officially start for another twenty minutes, but I could hear people milling around behind the doors in the back of the room.

I sat down next to Bella and put my arm around her shoulders. She lifted her head slightly, sniffed, and then turned into me, resting her head on my shoulder and clutching a fistful of my shirt with one hand. Renee glanced over with sympathetic eyes while I rubbed a soothing hand down Bella's back. She wasn't crying, so I assumed she just needed a moment of silence to gather herself.

Which was a spot on assumption because not a second later, Bella pushed herself back and held her head up high, wiping her eyes and nose with the tissue she held in her hand. I removed my hand from around her shoulders as she shot a look over to Renee and nodded. I guess that was the 'I'm ready' signal because Renee and Phil got up and motioned for the funeral director to come over. They held a short conference and then the director, who I think was named Ron, or Rod, or Don… honestly I couldn't remember, he held up both his arms as if we were supposed to rise with them and then he dramatically dropped them in a sweeping motion. Angela, her parents, Bella, and I all stood up like this guy controlled us with puppet strings and we filed out of the room to meet the masses.

The next couple of hours went by in a blur as I ran interference for Bella, helped out Renee as much as I could, and made small talk to the number of people who wanted to meet 'Bella's boyfriend'. At one point I think I was doing all three.

Bella tried to present a brave front, but I noticed how she clutched the tissue in her hand a bit too hard, especially when she had to turn toward the room where Charlie lay, only a few feet away.

It was a tremendous relief when Alice and Jasper showed up. I didn't feel like such the outsider anymore. They stayed close to me and Bella throughout the entire thing and we even carpooled with them back to Bella's house to give Renee and Phil some time alone.

Before I knew it, the wake was over, Bella was upstairs, changed and sleeping, Renee and Phil had returned to their hotel room, and Alice was cleaning up what she could around the house because she 'had to keep her hands busy'. Jasper pulled me out onto the back porch, put a beer in my hand, and we sat in companionable silence as the darkness rolled in and the stars came out.

I loved looking at the stars, which was a shame since I had always lived in the city and never been able to see much of them at night. Jasper cleared his throat and I looked over at him, dragging my attention away from the glittering lights above.

"What's up, man?" I asked before taking a long drink from the beer in my hand.

"I don't want you to take this the long way, but you were amazing today."

"Uhhhh, thanks?"

Jasper laughed and shook his head. "I mean it. The way you looked after Bella, and even her mom, and just kind of took over whenever you saw them looking depleted from talking too much. It was great."

I shrugged, not sure how to respond to that. It was a little embarrassing that he had noticed so much. I had tried to be subtle about breaking up conversations that looked to be straining Bella emotionally or physically, but apparently not enough.

"You really love her, don't you?" he asked softly, not looking at me, but rather inside the kitchen window where you could barely see Alice washing dishes at the sink.

"Yeah, I do," I replied, settling back into the lounge chair and staring up at the sky once more.

It was another couple of minutes before Alice joined us out on the porch and sat down in Jasper's lap, completely ignoring the two other chairs right beside him. She started chatting and I had learned over the years how to tune her out, so I did just that until she said a name that immediately caught my attention.

"What was that, Allie?" I interrupted.

"Oh," she responded hesitantly. "Which part?"

"The name you just said," I clarified for her.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah, what did you say about him?"

"Just that he seemed really nice and was talking to me and Bella while you were gone to the bathroom for a couple of minutes."

"Was his name by chance Jacob Black?" My heart was pounding in my chest at this point, hoping feverishly that it wasn't going to be the same guy.

"Yes, Jacob Black. How did you know that? Did you talk to him too?" She cocked her head to one side and looked at me for a few seconds, but I didn't answer. I was too busy trying to remember who I had seen talking to Bella when I had come back from my one, brief break from her sight. Alice gave up on me and turned back to Jasper, launching right back into her recollection of the entire day while I silently fumed in my chair, the stars above me forgotten.

Of course he would wait until I was gone to approach and talk to Bella. I wondered why she hadn't said anything to me after, but it wasn't something I could hold against her. Today had not been a normal day and they had not met under normal circumstances.

If anything, it made me feel horrible for leaving Bella at all. She was in a vulnerable state. Who knew what seeing Jacob again had done to her fragile condition. I suddenly felt a compelling need to see and touch her. I knew she was asleep upstairs, but that didn't mean I couldn't slip in and just make sure she was alright.

I left Jasper and Alice out on the porch with a simple 'I'll be right back', quickly climbed the stairs, and walked down the hallway until I reached Bella's closed bedroom door. Pressing my ear against the wood, I listened for any signs of life, but as much as I strained, I heard nothing. So I carefully opened the door and slipped into the room, automatically glancing over to where I knew the bed was to make out Bella's still, sleeping form. She looked so peaceful asleep. I couldn't stop myself from walking over and drinking in the sight of her relaxed and at peace. The lines between her eyes, which had been in place ever since she'd received the fatal phone call Friday night, were wiped away.

This was my Bella. And hopefully, one day soon, she'd look like this when she was awake.

I smiled, too grateful for words that she was getting some much needed, undisturbed sleep, and turned to leave the room, but then it happened.

My heart seized and my stomach felt like someone had just drop kicked me. Before I could stop it, my mind started conjuring up image after image and I felt the prickling sensation of tears in the corner of my eyes.

It had only been one word, but it was enough to make me doubt Bella's feelings toward me. Because the way she sighed it… A little piece of my heart died.

That word that destroyed me internally was 'Jacob.'