Authors Note: Hello! I'm doing the update thing in periods! You see my computer died and decided to be a whore and not fix it self…no matter how many times I tried to apologize to it for all the downloading…but alas. IT DECIDED NOT TO LISTEN! And so it committed suicide with a phone cord and a pair of scissors after trying to castrate itself…'cause it's a whore like that. But I got a new one…and this one is much more agreeable. It actually works and that is very happy. New Chapter of Dear Diary should be out next week if not…it just won't, sorry I'm a born procrastinator. Please enjoy and review. Love you all and hope you like this chapter.
Oh! And P.S. Have any of you noticed how most of the HP fanfics that just happens to be Dramiones are all about her getting raped over the summer? COME ON! SUBMIT SOME ORIGINALATY!
Enjoy
Disclaimer: I don't know anything…be happy I don't own your checkbook…pssh…that one sucked…even if I did put in an evil giggle right there it still wouldn't be right. What's wrong with me?
Hypochondria in a Bottle
Two weeks and that was all. It had been at least a month since the death of her parents and that faithful encounter with a colorful queen named Thorn. Hermione, otherwise known as Linn, had been living in complete and utter pacification since it all. And was adoring every second of it.
Custody had been reverted to her Aunt in America, a young woman of only 24, who was by no means ready to raise an orphaned 16 year old, so when Hermione opted to stay in England with her "friends" there was no argument.
Not sure if you wanna go back huh?
Of course not! I'd rather stay here any day! But I suppose I must…
Too deep in her thought to pay attention to anything around her, Hermione did not notice the front doors opening to the formidable figure that now stood in front of her. She continued to rearrange the merchandise in Pyrrhic Pixie without regard for the foreign character that was presently behind her.
You have to! I mean there's Harry and Ginny. Oh! And don't forget Ron! That luscious lover boy of yours.
That's not even a topic to joke about…
"Excuse me?"
She was startled out of her meditation by the impatient intruder who stood before her with a frown on his tanned face and a rather large package in hand.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't notice you come in. May I help you?"
She put on a practiced smile and took a step forward toward the bulky parcel. He smiled back and placed the pack beside the cash register, then turned toward her and said.
"A package for Hermione Granger?"
He put a clip board in her hand indicating the area at which she should sign. She did as instructed and frowned, a solemn air about her as she ripped away at the boring brown wrapping.
You don't think…
Hope not.
It was just as she had feared, they had already found her. She was hoping against all magical odds that Dumbledore would not discover her whereabouts. But alas. It is the magical world and it was the headmaster of Hogwarts; you couldn't have done much hiding even if you wanted to. This just reinforced Hermione's theory of magical "bugs" much like electronic devices used to track missing persons or something but instead this time it was used to find run away star students.
Crap.
It was an assortment of letters and cards, most with "I'm sorry" sprawled all over them.
News about the parentals has been distributed I see.
Damn Weasleys…
There was a prefect badge buried underneath a tacky hand made sweater with a crummy golden H on it. She stared at it for a moment, wondering why this little piece of metal used to mean so much to her.
It's so…ugly.
And in truth it was, a shining example of all that was imperfect about her life. She carelessly threw it across the room, and began to inspect the rest of her "crap"
Perhaps I shouldn't be so ungrateful…I mean, my parents did die and all. This is all understandable.
It's all crap that's what it is!
There was a letter from mostly everyone she had ever met. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Colin, Pansy, Lavender, Luna, and some other people she really didn't remember.
I feel loved…I think.
It was all a jumble of apologies for things that weren't they're faults, congratulations about things they didn't care about, and promises of comfort and well-being.
All a bunch of idiocy really.
They didn't care; it was just an obligation to her. They weren't her friends they just needed good grades. They would expect her to be grateful and lean on them for comfort, they'd expect her to be "Friendly".
Freaks…
And then there was the fatal problem of explaining the whole witch thing to the "posse". In all her peace and love –ness she neglected to inform her new-found best friends of her situation and her life. How would she break it to Thorn?
It was just like Harry Potter to ruin a perfectly good moment; she was beginning to see what Voldemort must've felt like numerous times during his various encounters with "the boy who lived".
She hurriedly got rid of it all, not even giving the heartfelt letters a second thought, throwing them carelessly in the trash.
A long sigh escaped her lips, as she slowly closed her eyes wanting to think on things.
Yep…they've found me. So now there's not doubt that I'll be expected back in Hogwarts, and if I don't show up…there's no doubt that I will be searched for…
And the first place they'll look is here…
And I don't want Thorn and Ronny in all of this.
They'll get into to this somehow, but first you'll have to tell them…and we all know what a drama queen Thorn has proven himself to be.
I'm going to have to tell them…
She took a deep breath, sparing a glance at the pile of rubbish in the trash can. She picked up the Prefect badge, examining its molding.
"Why did I care so much?"
She sat down for a moment, eyes not leaving the gold emblem, racking her brain for a reason.
It was nothing, not even real gold. So why was this so important to her? In a fit of frustration the already battered up Prefect badge flew across the room, falling to the floor with a dull thud.
She sat there dejected and depressed, even letting a small pout grace her full lips. A perfect picture of innocence.
"Oh my god! You're adorable!"
No matter how depressed, sad, or dejected she was, Thorn always managed to make her laugh. He had burst through the doors in a complete frenzy, smiling and cooing at "Linn" like she was a small child.
"That little pout thing? Yes darling! YES! Work it! You could so seduce the bloody prince with that! Ugh! Your hot-ness makes me sick!"
She giggled at his antics, as he pretended to be offended."The pupil has surpassed the master I see"
Ronny appeared behind him, all smiles and laughs. It appeared she had had a good day. She put her coat up, and placed herself behind the counter, checking the sales. Hermione rolled her eyes at the lesbians' paranoia.
"I didn't steal anything!"
Ronny smiled sheepishly, still not getting over her suspicion of the young girl.
"Don't worry darling! Ronny does that with everyone! She's a greedy little miser, ain't she?"
Thorn sat next to Hermione, randomly playing with a lock of her hair.
"So my little darling…what have you been doing all day?"
Ronny rolled her eyes knowing Hermione's answer.
"I've been working my butt all day! And I think I deserve a little treat!"
"Oh yeah?"
Ronny challenged.
"How many sales have you made little Miss. 'Oh I'm such a slave'? Hmm?"
"15!! Thank God I'm on commission! Wouldn't be able to survive with the crap you would pay me!"
"Well then if you're so discontent, maybe I should just FIRE YOU!"
"You wouldn't! How on earth would you be able to find time to fuck that little hermaphrodite of yours?"
"SHE'S NOT A HERMAPHRODITE!"
"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING HER!?"
"…"
"That's what I thought"
"Well you're still a stupid straight clone of the world biggest fag!"
"And you can't tell the difference between a penis and a vagina! So whose sight impaired now huh?"
"Whore!"
"Sapphist!"
"Nymphomaniac!"
"GAY Nymphomaniac!"
"ARG!"
"VICTORY!"
"Ladies?"
Thorn thought it best to interject now. He had become quite used to these entertaining spats. Finding them a good giggle. But now was not the time. Ronny, still frustrated from the raunchy debate thought to ignore the two, and began to tinker with the antique cash register.
"Linn? You coming to dinner? Or do you have some hot date to be off too?"
Ever since the beginning Thorn had been trying to open up her sexual side. Refusing to believe that "Linn" his "creation" still remained a virgin. He had attempted to set off a number of blind dates for her, but of course Miss. Hermione Granger had her way, was as resilient as ever.
So "Linn" just rolled her eyes knowingly and replied.
"There's no need of you to ask. You know I don't have one"
He sighed, and dared a pout of his own. She rolled her eyes again, noting that two eye rolls in the same minute was most defiantly a record and said.
"No, that doesn't work on me Thorn, might work on Ronny, might work on Trey, may even work on the bloody queen of England. But it will never succeed with me."
"Ugh! You're to hot for your own good!"
Authors Note: I know, I know, why end it here? But I've been working on this for a while…and it's come to the point where I'm just procrastinating, and that's not good. Its 5 pages though so be happy! I'll try and give another chapter soon. I don't know…Finals are next week and all. Well Love you all and please review. NO FLAMES!
Thank You
Griffen