Authors Note: Hello all! Ok, I do have a reason as to why there haven't been any updates as of late ::nods:: Yes, I do. You see…there's been this HUGE writers block that I've been drowning in for a while now, I must've started at least 8 openings, all of them a good 7 pages long…but none of them were…right for me. Then would you believe it? An idea came to me, and then serenity. I had the perfect opening, and I now know what to do…happy no? ::smiles:: once again I apologize, I now leave you with a few wonderful words…DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS DAMNED SEXY!!!
Enjoy
Disclaimer: I own not Harry Potter…but…but…I WAAAAAAAAANAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Pharisaic Purity
Cold as snow, Hermione had no idea what to do next. This was her idea, her plan, her big moment. Yet she was still lost.
Lovely…once again Hermione, you astound me…
Shush…
Taking a few steps she began to recognize her surroundings. The Leaky Cauldron to her left, and Gringotts down the street, all familiar places to her, with familiar memories.
"I knew I shouldn't have done this without Thorn"
No duh…
She walked past the bookstore aimlessly, knowing it wouldn't be open at this hour. Nothing was open at 4 o'clock in the morning. A cold gust of wind assaulted her, she pulled her winter coat even closer to her body, her teeth chattered noiselessly as if warning her of how sick she would be in the morning.
Closing her eyes in despair, she crept into a dark alley. Leaning against the wall, a soft sight escaped her lips. Tears threatened to flow out, as Hermione slowly realized how much of a fool she was being.
Hiding in the shadows like a little baby…
I'm not hiding Linn…I'll never hide from them.
Whatever you say Hermione, I hope you realize that you present a pretty damned pathetic sight just standing here like this…
I'll stay right here if I want too…
Why do you insist on fucking your self up? You're you Hermione! You don't throw yourself into the fire without any protection! You're so much fucking smarter than that. Why the fuck are you here? Alone!?!?
They need to see me, I'm being nothing but selfish hiding behind Thorn, he's not always gonna be there to protect me…I still am going to school remember, he can't be with me forever.
Then don't leave…too much damned hassle!
I'd be a spoilt little child not to go.
Why did you run away in the first place? Why did you run from everyone? Huh? Wasn't it to get away from them all?
It was to get a break…get some time to myself…no matter what I do Linn, I can't run away from them. I am a mudblood after all…filth! They'd find me soon enough!
Go back to the hotel Hermione…
No.
She stood up in defiance, straightening her hair and wiping the tears from her eyes, she decided to walk back up to the bookstore and wait there for them to open.
Hermione, please…please go back. We're not ready for this, please don't…
"No"
She walked with determination, fire building inside her heart. She wasn't going to run again, she was going to face them all, no tears no nothing, this time…she would listen.
Hermione…
My holiday is over Linn…
She stepped up to the door, surveying the closed sign with slight boredom. Still fighting the war in her mind, she looked back to the Leaky Cauldron, thinking of the exit, thinking of going back.
Please…
Shaking her head in confusion she tried her best to shut the voice up, resolved in her decision.
You're selling your soul Hermione, your one chance to get out and you blew it.
The voice turned malicious, reminding her of the old days, before she knew Thorn and Ronny, before her parents died…her self criticizing alter ego, forever judging her, demeaning, and mauling her mind. She remembered it all too well, and despised herself for it.
I hate you.
Pressing her forehead to the cold glass door, Hermione did all she could, cried her heart out. Dark locks fell into her face, hiding it from any bystander. The last thing she needed was a nosy witch.
"The one you were before…
Couldn't look you in the eye…"
Singing quietly, she didn't notice the lamp posts lights shut off.
"You're just like an angel…
You're skin makes me cry…"
A few people walked by her, staring curiously at the young witch, straining to hear what she was singing.
"You flow like a river…
In a beautiful waltz…"
Pressing her forehead even closer, the freezing stained glass door, did little to soothe her aching head.
"I wish I was special…
Yes so fucking special…"
The sound of polished dress shoes clicked behind her on the cobblestone pavement. Stopping directly behind her, the old man surveyed the adolescent seemingly stuck to his door.
"What a beautiful voice you have there Miss, may I help you?"
There was no response from the girl, who continued to sing on, not minding him at all. Stepping closer he asked once.
"Excuse me? Miss…are you alright?"
She slowly turned towards him, her eyes darting for an escape route, she looked fearful and took a step back when he drew forward. He noticed this and did his best not to alarm her, after all his years of working in Diagon he had never come across a situation like this before.
She shook her head at him, her long black mane shielding her face from his worried stare.
"Miss…I'm not here to hurt you…please…are you alright?"
"I'm fine…do you need something?"
Her tone was curt and too the point, she hid her anxiety well.
"I was just about to ask you the same, you see, I own this small bookstore, and am not used to getting many people show up at my footsteps, not with that big one down the street. They get all the business when it comes to students...do you go to Hogwarts Miss? If so, I suppose you're looking for the books on your list…"
Coming up toward her, he tapped at the door knob with his wand, waiting for her to go in first. He smiled warmly at the girl, not wanting to scare her away. She glanced at him wearily, but conformed none the less. Strolling into the bookstore with some ease. She sat down on the nearest available seat.
Following her in, he closed the door, and took off his coat.
"Chilly isn't it?"
Hermione was too busy staring at the walls of books surrounding her, it seemed they were piled high all the way up to the heavens. There was of course no ceiling, they served no purpose in the Wizarding world…none at all… Looking up caused to much of a strain to Hermione's neck, forcing her to look back down into the old mans smiling face.
"Would you like a cup of tea? I hardly ever get any business around here you know?...so when I do, I always make sure to treat them like family"
She simply nodded, scrutinizing the old man in the process.
He was short, and a little plump, quite resembling a hobbit, with his long gray hair and beard. All he needed now was a pipe to finish of the picture. Taking off his bowler hat, he dusted it off and placed it on the chair next to her, then disappeared behind the curtain behind the pile of astronomy books.
Well then…
I don't need you right now…
Fine…
"Here we go…"
The man came back again, placed a china cup in front of her, then settled himself down and began to sip on his own.
"My name is Frederick by the way, as you already know, I own this shop…have for about 50 years now…it goes when I go, that's the old saying isn't it?"
He broke out into laughter at his own joke, the sound was nice, it reminded Hermione of her grandfather. The old fart died when she was a mere 4.
"Mine is He- Linn, its Linn."
He smiled at her for a moment, acceding she smiled back. Picking up the delicate cup with her gentle hands, she took a gulp of the warm liquid which she immediately recognized to be melted chocolate. He watched her reactions with a boyish smile. Eyes twinkling like that of Dumbledore, he laughed when she placed the cup down in confusion.
"If I'm not mistaken Mr. Frederick, you offered me tea…"
He laughed again, and with a hearty smile replied.
"I find this much nicer, makes you warmer, don't you feel all the more better?...and its Professor by the way…used to work at Hogwarts you see…a fine school that was"
He mused silently, waiting for her to say something.
"What did you teach?"
Deciding she took too long to respond, he totally ignoring her question, he decided to ask his own.
"You're Hermione Granger aren't you?"
With a quick blush, she looked down at the floor. Not wanting to assess the situation, he noticed this, but still continued on.
"You're that girl Dumbledore's been going crazy looking for…Hogwarts best student missing in action…he was worried to death…practically sending out troops to find you…just like my brother…I must say dear, you should've seen him when he finally found you…all frantic one minute, then perfectly calm the next…the man is an open book of bipolar"
Her continued silence irked the old man, who was expecting a response from the runaway.
"He's found you now, they can't get to you…you won't be seeing those damned death eaters unless they kill Dumbledore first…and that is a hard task I must say, I've known the man all my life…a hard ass if I ever saw one…would you like some more 'tea'?"
"Yes, thank you"
He disappeared again, but was back just as fast as he was gone, placing a second cup down on the mahogany coffee table, he looked back up at her with smiling eyes, hands fiddling with his mismatched tie.
"You were hear for books you said? I have an apprentice who works here, about the same age as you, if not a few years younger…pretty as a petal, even I must say, but I'm only an old man, it is expected of me…Are you alright?"
She finally looked up at him, and he saw the same look she had given him when her eyes first met his outside the store naught but 20 minutes ago. Complete and concrete fright. Tears were already pouring down, and he immediately realized that maybe that was not the best subject to start off on…
"I'm sorry Miss. Granger! My mouth sometimes gets the best off me, I do apologize…"
"It's alright…"
"No, no, please, don't cry on my account dear girl…you're much to pretty for rubbish like me…come on now. Here you go use this"
He placed a slightly perfumed handkerchief in her hand. Pure silk she noted, as she dabbed at her eyes softly.
"You feeling better?"
She nodded her head slowly…not noticing the jingle of the front door open.
"Mr. Frederick? Could you please help? A new batch of 'Mythical Wizards and the Women They Slept With' just came in could you please-…oh my!"
A loud bang stopped Hermione's sniffling and her eyes immediately sought the origin of the sound. Her eyes met with Ginny's not at all noticing the books sprawled all over the floor, throat constricting, she slowly stood up. Beginning to notice how small the room was.
Dropping the silk handkerchief on the floor, she squeaked inaudibly. Mr. Frederick looked from his assistant to Hermione in confusion, not really realizing what was going on…
"Hermione……"
Tears came just as fast for Ginny, who was crying on the spot, she stepped back for a moment, as if recalling all of Hermione's words in her head. Eyes never leaving that of her best friends.
Hermione on the other hand, was looking for a quick escape route, no matter how many hours of training she had used to prepare herself for this situation, her fright and panic just couldn't be fought, she had to run, as fast as she possibly could.
Ginny was now closing in on her, taking a few steps at a time, still crying, but trying her best to stop, she wanted to comfort her lost friend, needed to help her.
But Hermione just didn't seem to want to play along. As soon as Ginny was too close for comfort she bolted for it, knocking the coffee table over in her attempt to jump over it, the books didn't stop her, she was out of the door and into the cold rain in a flash, leaving Ginny alone in her tears. Beginning to shake in distress, Ginny quickly fell down to the floor, hands covering her face as tears attempted to drown her. Mr. Frederick stared at the flailing door in apprehension, still not knowing what was going on, he left Ginny alone, determined to inform his brother of these events.
"Albus…what in the 7 hells have you gotten me into this time?"
Out in the rain, Hermione had no where to run…she was soaked now, and had run as far as Madame Histania Beauty Parlor, a good 40 shops down from Fredericks Wonders. Looking up into the dark cloudy sky, she seemed out of tears to cry. Face blank, and mood low, she began to wander again. Retreating back into her mind as she always did when overwhelmed.
…That was brilliant, after all that damned talk, you couldn't even say hello.
I underestimated her effect on me is all…I didn't plan well…at all…
Planning has absolutely nothing to do with it Hermione, you were chicken, plain and simple.
Like you could've done any better…
I never wanted to do this in the first place, now she knows we're here, and she's gonna call the others, who are gonna try and look for us…you heard what that man said. Dumbledore had a damned army out for us!
Screw it! All I came for was my school list that's all!
Liar!
Just shut up…please god, just shut up…
Having no where else to go, and in desperate need of a drink, she quietly crept over towards the Leaky Cauldron, hoping to god there was no one she knew there…Her hair sticking to her face in an unkempt and awkward manner…she was partly blinded by the thick clumps that practically poured themselves in her eyes. Forcing her to not observe the rowdy crowd in the cauldron, they all seemed to match in their green, silver, and black house colors…
Draco quietly lounged on the couch at the far end of the bar, a fellow Slytherin girl was talking to him, hands moving animatedly to accentuate whatever point she was making, it didn't matter anyway, he wasn't listening, he never would. Casting a quick glance at her, he was rewarded with a blush that crept all the way down to her ample cleavage…
'Maybe tonight..'
He mused, eyes moving back to the entrance of the Cauldron, eyeing its newel arrival in boredom, he took another swig of his butter beer, as the Slytherin droned on. His attention was caught momentarily, a small woman stalked into the Cauldron, she was soaking wet from the rain outside, causing her thin jacket to cling to her tasteful body. Her pitch black hair, wet as anything, fell down to the small of her back, a good part of it hiding her pale face from him. She removed her jacket upon entry and threw it on her supposed chair…revealing milk white skin that her dress chose to bare, she sat down at the table, alone and silent. Not noticing the many Slytherin celebrating around her, she quietly ordered a drink, which he was surprised to find was fire whiskey…what a choice for such a feeble looking thing.
He stood up lazily, automatically dismissing the girl. She treaded off in obedience, not wanting to offend him. With a matured air, he glided up to the woman's table…
"Hello…pouring out here isn't it?"
He was leaning against her table, staring out the window as if fascinated…for a moment the world had stopped for Hermione, and now she could see no possible way her day could've been worse. There was Draco Malfoy, in the flesh…with all his little Slytherin groupies right behind him, of course he'd be a prat and not recognize her, of course he'd be blind and follow his penis, of course! What the hell else could you expect from a Malfoy!?
With all her possible might, she fought the urge to pour her drink on his head, knowing it wouldn't be a very smart move, not with future death eaters crawling all over the damned place. Once again, Hermione was trapped. He seemed to be talking she registered, staring at his mouth as it moved, wondering what stupid, inane thing could by flying out of this time…looking him up and down, a small smile formed on her lips as her deep rooted animosity flew back to her. His mouth was still moving, didn't seem to want to stop, god knows she wasn't going to try and stop it. The more he talked, the quicker she could getaway. And knowing Draco, he wouldn't be over in awhile.
Pompous, arrogant, weak bastard…
When you really think about it…this is Draco's fault…all of it…lynch him! Now! Do it Hermione! You know you wanna hear his girly scream! Cause you know he has one!
Little barbarian! He's still talking! God! Will he ever stop?!?!
Uh…No!
Slowly picking up her jacket, she tucked it underneath her arms, preparing herself for departure…she eyed, the exit that led into the muggle world.
I could go out that way, and come in the other…he wouldn't bother to look for me…
You'd hurt his pride…yeah he would…or he'd send Death Eaters…
Not funny…at all…
Just run for it, he's too scared to get wet, it muss up his perfect hair…he's a pussy remember?
Damned Malfoy…always showing up when they're not needed…
It's only 12 o'clock, all that time you spent wandering around like a lost dog…you set yourself up for this, this is your punishment…you deserve this…ha!
Shut it!
There was no other choice but to run out the back way, taking out her wand in preparation she shifted in her chair, making it easier for a fluid escape. Without a sound, she crept out of her seat, and slowly backed up, and as soon as he was looking elsewhere, she darted for the exit.
Safely outside, she stopped to catch her breath. Laughing in between gasps of air, she wasn't getting anywhere. Tears soon leaked out and it looked as if she was choking, now her abdomen was killing her, and she grabbed it in pain, but still wasn't able to stop giggling.
"He's ridiculously embarrassing! Hahaha… Disgusting! Hahaha… Absolutely a pretentious, bombastic, high-flown, grandiloquent dunce…I can't believe he's ever gotten any in his whole life…my god…that was absurd!"
Turning around the block, she greeted the rain with delight. Skipping through it like a mad woman, she was a perfect picture of an oversexed teenager…except, she wasn't so sexed…still laughing, she spun began to spin around, not at all minding who she was running into, they all thought she was crazy…
"AND MAY I ASK, YOUNG LADY, WHAT IN GODS NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?!?!?!?!"
Uh-oh…you're screwed…again…
Thorn stood in front of her, soaked to the bone himself, looking not at all happy. Behind him, Ronny and Trey were huddled underneath a small umbrella, both glaring at her.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!?!"
Never mining the fact that his screeches practically halted traffic he continued to scream, arms flailing about in anger.
"ANSWER ME YOUNG LADY!!! NOW!!!"
"I went shopping…in Diagon…"
"WITHOUT ME!?!?!?! OH HERMIONE FUCKING GRANGER!!! YOU ARE SO DAMNED GROUNDED!!!"
"So you ran away?"
After, plenty more screaming, and a couple of shoes thrown in her general direction. Hermione had been dragged back home, forced into a bath and clean clothes, and was now being questioned.
They were locked into the storage room. A large wooden table, one lamp and 4 chairs were all the furniture needed.
Trey and Ronny who both felt they had a say in this, being dragged out into the rain and nearly catching their deaths on her account, they believed they had a say in her punishment. Thorn, who sat in the middle of them, directly faced Hermione, giving her nothing to look at but a stony face laced with adamant anger.
"Yes, after I saw her I freaked, I wasn't ready…at least I couldn't do it on my own"
She tried her best to explain, but she knew they weren't buying it. Her leaving on her own in itself was a pretty damned selfish thing to do, and it doesn't look they felt very forgiving. At least not today.
"Then?..."
Thorn hadn't uttered a word, apart from the mandatory questions, he felt no need to bitch just yet.
"Then I wandered around for a couple of hours…"
"YOU SPENT 3 HOURS WANDERING!?!?!?! WHILE WE WERE SCOURING LONDON LOOKING FOR YOU?!?!?!?"
Ronny screamed at her, clearly taken pleasure in scaring the poor girl out of her wits, she sat back down in her seat with Thorns prompting, a glare still set in her azure eyes.
"Then?"
Thorn asked again.
"I went into the Leaky Cauldron and got something to drink…"
"Which was?"
"Fire Whiskey…"
"Explains the damned skipping…"
Trey whispered to the side, unaware they could all hear him. Thorn, stood up for a moment, turning around as if in contemplation. Quickly glancing back at Hermione, he began to walk to and throe…
"So Miss. Granger…you're trying to say, that you made a mistake…a selfish, pointless, childish, narrow-minded, covetous…mistake?"
Never seeing Thorn like this before, she simple nodded, not wanting incur his wrath once more.
"This mistake included, sneaking out of the hotel at 4 am in the morning, giving the receptionist the ridiculous idea that you were a hooker and that I was running a whore house in the hotel room because of my so called 'suspicious behavior', therefore kicking us out without a right explanation…walking around London at a very dangerous time, and forcing us to try and find you…going to Diagon Alley, seeing the reason you went there in the first place…then running away…not confronting it…doing nothing for 3 hours, while we were hit on my herpes infested wannabe Michael Jackson's in the wrong side of Soho…then going to a bar…then drinking alcohol…what lovely achievements my underage friend…FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!"
Kicking the chair across the room, he managed to break a leg off in his anger. Even Ronny was shocked at this, staring from the broken chair in the corner to Thorn, chair, Thorn, chair, Thorn…
"What the fuck was that?"
Completely omitting her presence he continued on.
"You're so smart, and smooth…of course you know what's good for you, you've always know right…with the running away from home, running away from friends, away from family…away from sanity, with the disgusting clothes, unkempt hair, total sheltered life, with the decapitated heads in the dishwasher…with the blood stained birthday cake…everything you do…is perfect, you need NO HELP FROM ANYONE!!! CAUSE YOU'RE THE PICTURE PERFECT IDEA OF UTOPIA!!! AREN'T YOU!?!?!? AREN'T YOU?!?!?!"
His words flew past her head, totally unfazed by them she began to glare back, tired of his drama queen bull shit.
"Like you're foolproof…"
Was her defiant reply, he turned back to her, a small smile on his angry face…
"That's the thing…HERMIONE…I know I'm not....where as you, just don't seem to realize that you have a hell of a lot to learn…it hasn't clicked in your brain that…YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED!! JUST LIKE THE REST OF US!!!"
"LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!"
She didn't know what was wrong with her and frankly she didn't care, running up the stairs to the apartment on top of Pyrrhic Pixie, she lunged onto her bed, burying her head into her pillow she began to scream like most teenagers would've.
"DAMN IT GRANGER!!!"
Thorn practically blew the door open, angry as anything, he waltzed into the bedroom, ripped of the sheets, and continued on with what he started.
"IF YOU WOULD GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS FOR TWO SECONDS YOU WOULD'VE REALIZED THAT I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU!!! I KNOW YOU CAN'T DO THIS ON YOUR DAMNED OWN! YOU WOULDN'T BE STAYING HERE IN MY HOUSE IF THAT WASN'T THE DAMNED CASE!!!"
"WHEN IN THE HELL DID YOU BECOME MY FATHER HUH???!?! WHEN?!?! WHEN COULD YOU GROUND, PUNISH, HOLD ME BACK!?!?!"
"WHEN IN THE HELL DID YOU REACH MENOPAUSE!?!?!?"
"Funny Thorn! TOTALLY FALL INTO THE SEXIST POOL LIKE ALL THE OTHER STRAIGHT MEN!!!"
"YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!"
"AND WHERE THE HELL DID I GET IT FROM DADDY DEAREST?!?!? WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL ME!?!?! OH! I DON'T KNOW MAYBE-"
Never in his life had Thorn been this angry, until today. Never in his life has Thorn hit a girl…until today. In nothing but shock, she fell to the floor, holding her cheek she gazed up at him in bewilderment. Tears coming back for what seemed like the 100th time that day.
She closed her eyes, trying to stop them. But it was useless, she was soon sobbing on the floor, with Thorn cradling her in his arms crying right along with her…
"I'm sorry Thorn…I'm so sorry, fix me! Please…god…fix me…"
Hermione continued to murmur meaningless apologies, amidst sniffles and convulsive weeping. Finally feeling the full effects of her total and complete failure, begging to be fixed. Begging to feel right again, a smile, laughter and friends were what she needed now. To let her know she didn't suck as much as the world was letting on.
To make her realize, that no matter how many foolish mistakes she made, no matter how many people she hurt, and no matter how unhappy she was with her life, she was still the same person…she didn't need to be fixed.
She couldn't be…
Authors Note: AHHHHH!!! I'M DONE!!! WOOHOO! BEEN SITTING IN THE SAME SPOT FOR THE PAST 4 HOURS!! LETS GOO! FOOD!! MMMHMMM!!! READ AND REVIEW!!! NO FLAMES!!! LOVE YOU!!! Gonna go jog around the neighborhood now!!!