Don't Be Afraid to Fly

Chapter 2; I'm In Love and Not Afraid

A few days later I was sitting on my couch watching some T.V. when Shane came over. I was surprised because he hasn't been over my house since before the break-up and I thought he didn't want to see me from that whole fight a few days ago.

"Hey can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure," I turned off the T.V. and made room for him on the couch. He sat down awkwardly.

"I'm sorry about that stuff I was doing and being a jerk to you. I guess I was just a little upset. I'll stop it. I'm really sorry, Miley. I really am."

"Oh no Shane it's okay. I'm not your mother or your girlfriend I shouldn't be bossing you around. But thank you so much. And I'm sorry."

"So? What have you been doing lately?" He started conversation.

"Oh nothing really. Shane I want to be honest with you and there's something I really have to tell you."

"Oh no your not really an alien and you want to eat my babies?" He teased and we both chuckled.

"No, it's just…I'm not quite sure how to say this."

"Just say it," He urged me.

"Okay, okay but promise you won't get mad."

"I promise I won't get mad just tell me"

"Alright, um I have a new boyfriend,"

Just then he jumped up.

"WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" He was pacing back and forth he looked like a mad man.

"Shane-" He interrupted me.

"Miley how could you do this to me? I mean first you break up with me and now not even a week later you already moved on? I can't I just cant" He said putting a hand up.

"Shane you promised you wouldn't get mad!"

"Who is he? Who is this jerk?"

"Shane don't be like this,"

"Who is it?" He said with anger rising with every word he spoke.

"Josh," I finally said after a long silence.

He started laughing I seriously thought he was going to go insane. He was acting like a legit psychopath.

"You're a bitch!" He spat at me and stormed out. I raced to the door after him.

"Shane wait, please," But he just kept walking zoning out all my desperate calls of his name and following apologies.

I felt like such a jerk. I never wanted to hurt him. He was absolutely one hundred and one percent right. I am a bitch. I should have just been completely honest with him from day one. Told him the truth about why I was breaking up with him. But then again he wouldn't understand no one does. I should have never dated my best friend. Then this stuff happens afterwards, but I was too stupid to realize. Well I guess that's why I waited this long. I liked him for a long time but I never said anything because I didn't want to date him. I knew about my relationships and I never wanted to fall in love but I know how my relationships end. All relationships end in at least one person gets hurt. And that is exactly the reason why I hid the truth. But sophomore year came around and we were laying on the couch watching T.V., my head on his shoulder and he just said it. I was completely shocked my eyes widened and my mouth fell to the ground. We were best friends and both liked eachother. So I made the stupidest decision and dated him well knowing I don't fall in love and someone will get hurt in the end. But with him, that thought never popped up. All my standards didn't apply. And that is very scary. It's like he was something special.

A honk sounded. It was Josh. We were hanging tonight. I felt so guilty about being with him but it felt so right and what I needed right now. We fit better, we were more alike. We were both on the same level, hard kids who just like to mess around and have fun. We didn't fall in love, we didn't get hurt. It was so much easier and less complicated than being with Shane. Plus Josh was incredibly hot and made me melt every time I saw him.

I went outside and got in the car.

"Hey babe," He greeted me with a sweet little peck on the lips.

"Hey, so what are the plans for tonight?"

"I figured we can chill on the homefront. Only my little brother is home and we can just lock him in his room."

"Sounds good," I said leaning in for a short kiss and then he took my hand and we sped off to his house.

It was a cute little light blue house. It looked very cozy. He lived there with his little brother, Carter and his dad but his dad was always working.

"Welcome to the house," He said with his arms spread out and I chuckled a small laugh.

Then his little brother came out.

"Hey hottie," I was shocked that a little boy thought this way. He looked like he was no older than six.

"Sorry my brother's a little horny thing," He turns to his brother" get in your room and stay there."

"Fine, Fine," he mumbled and walked slowly to his room but not before turning around and telling me his name and number. Josh pushed him and locked him in the room.

"Yeah, he can be a pest sometimes,"

" I can see, " I laughed.

"So let's go to my room," He held out his hand and I took it and we walked down the hall into his room. He sat on his bed and patted next to him for me to sit. I sat down and he put one hand on the back of my neck and the other on the back of my head and started kissing me. I really liked him and I haven't been in this kind of lusty fun relationship in a long time. I used to be a bad kid. I used to drink and smoke and do drugs and sleep around. Shane always saved me when I needed help getting home or something; he was always my hero. When I was dating Shane, he was a first timer. Before me he only kissed one girl and it wasn't a real kiss, one of those peck kisses in sixth grade and they held hands. He was so afraid with me and we barely did anything. We only had small kisses every once in a while. I didn't know why he was so shy, it got me mad but I couldn't force him to do stuff he didn't want to. But here kissing Josh felt so good. All of a sudden his hands moved down and were moving along my body.

I pulled away from the kiss. He was moving a little fast. I wasn't sure what was going on.

"What are you doing?"

"I really like you," He said innocently.

"I like you too,"

"Then be with me," He started kissing and touching me again and I pulled away again.

"Josh, we've only been dating for a few days. Don't you think we should wait a little longer?"

"What's the difference between a month from now? I really like you but I guess you don't feel the same," He turned away from me. I felt really bad.

"No Josh I do I really really do. I like you a lot."

"Yeah, okay,"

I didn't know what to do so I did the only thing I could. I needed to show him I did like him.

"I'll show you," As our bodies got closer what he wanted turned into what I wanted. I stopped doing this kind stuff, being in this kind of relationships, but for him there was an exception. He was the "bad boy" that I always used to fool with, but there was something more than just that. I couldn't figure it out just yet.

After we were done we lay next to each other, my head on his chest with his arms around me.

"I love you,"

"I love you too," I said instantly not even thinking about it. And right then when I said the words I actually meant it. I didn't care about all my standards and promises I made to myself and all my old thoughts. I was in love and I wasn't afraid.

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I was walking home when I saw Shane.

"Hey Shane," He looked up and then when he saw me his face dropped.

"What do you want? Shouldn't you be busy with you new boyfriend?" He said angrily.

"Shane stop, don't be like this."

"I'm not being like anything."

" Shane you're my best friend. I want to stay best friends, I'm really sorry for everything I did and everything I put you through. But I really want to be back the way it was. When we talked about everything and anything and laughed until we cried and just plain hung out together. Can't you just forgive me?"

He stood there for awhile, it was like he was actually thinking about it.

"Okay, so maybe I overreacted a little bit," He finally admitted.

"And I understand completely,"

"Okay shoot we'll hang out in an hour. Your place?"

"I'd love that. We can catch up," I smiled and he did as well and then we walked our separate ways.

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I was at the house getting everything ready for the rest of the night. I figured we'd eat some pizza and popcorn and watch some movies. It would be fun. When I just finished setting everything up Shane walked in with a much better mood.

"Hey Shaney, ready for some fun?" I teased using his old nickname. He laughed then plopped himself on the couch.

We ended up watching two movies, ate way too much and now we were just sitting on the couch under a blanket talking.

"So how's things with ..um..him?" He refused to say his name.

"They are really good. So you got any girls you're interested in yet?" I teased.

"Oh tons," He said flexing his arms. "There's so many but so hard to decide from."

"Yeah, I bet," I sarcastically said as I rolled my eyes and laughed at him.

I couldn't stop thinking about Josh and I knew I had to tell Shane. He would find out sooner or later and it'd be best if he heard it from me. There was never a guy like Josh before. When I just slept with guys it was one night things. If I was in a relationship it would be at least a month not the next day of dating them. I needed to tell Shane not just to get the guilt off my chest but I needed some friendly advice. I was debating whether to wait it out a bit or tell him now. We were sitting in a long silence and somehow my thoughts just blurted out of my mouth

"Shane, we did it,"

"What?" I could see from his face he was confused.

"Me and Josh…we kinda… did it,"

"Did what,"

"We has sex," I finally said with my eyes glued to the floor. I couldn't bear to look at him.

"WHAT?! Miley you just started dating him for Christ's sake!!"

"I know, I know. But at the time it felt right."

"It felt right? Miley you don't do that with someone so soon. I can't believe that jerk!"

"Don't call him names he wasn't the only one who wanted it. Shane, I love him,"

"You love him? You love him?! Is this some kind of sick joke? Miley 2 days is not love. You don't even know him."

"Yes I do!" I fought back.

"We dated much much much longer than that and we didn't do barely anything but like kiss…sometimes."

"That's because your chicken shit!" I was getting mad. I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh but he was starting to piss me off. After saying it I wish I didn't. That really hurt him, I could see it in his eyes.

"Shane-"He started to walk away. "Wait Shane I didn't mean it!" Guilt started to drown my insides and I really wish right then I could take that back. I hate hurting him worse than anything. It makes me hate myself more and I guess lately I've hating myself a lot lately. I really have to stop fighting and hurting him. Were best friends. Life is so hard. I'm starting to hate it.

"No, I'm out!" He walked out the door once again as I once again stood at the door calling his name and shooting out apologies only to be ignored for the second time that day.

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