Chapter 4: Apologies and Tempers

I absolutely feel like shit. I disgust myself. I'm without a doubt the worse find in the whole entire world. How could I do this to him? How could I put him in this state and worse yet leave him crying all along with no comfort? I sincerely was just trying to protect him from getting hurt from me, but in the process I've hurt him even worse. I'm at a point in my life right now where I don't know anything anymore. I try and I try but it just ends up with a worse outcome every single time. I really wish thing were back in place again and my life wasn't so overwhelming and complicated as it turned out as of now.

My phone began to ring, but I had no energy to answer it. I was drowning in my thoughts about to cry out of hopelessness and regret. Just then there was a sudden knock on my bedroom door. I shot up quickly wiping away my tears as the unknown person walked in. It was Shane. As our eyes locked my stomach starting to churn and my heart began to race. I swear there's something wrong with me. My phone started to ring once again but I quickly turned it off not wanting it to interrupt this moment.

"He can we talk?" He asked uneasily.

"Of course," I said brighter than before. I mean I thought he was mad and upset and me. Oh my God, did he see me outside his window? No, he couldn't have. Maybe he's coming to say our friendship is over for good and he never wants to see my slutty face again. I'm going to die.

He started to speak interrupting my pessimistic thoughts again.

"Look, I'm really sorry…for everything. I'm so sorry for treating you like shit and being a complete douche-bag. I'm sorry for anything I said or did that hurt you in any way…"

"What?" I was so confused. I hurt him and he was apologizing?

"Wait, just let me finish… I guess I was just…really angry. Really, really, extremely, incredulously, -"

"Okay Shane I get it."

"…that you moved on so fast… but that…that's none of my business. You are my best friend, and I should have your back no matter what, not adding more problems. Miles, I..I need you in my life."

Not trying to be sappy or anything but I wanted to cry. He was so sweet and he shouldn't be here apologizing to me. It should be the other way around. He is way too good a friend to me. I had this urge to just take him back right then and there. I wanted to grab take his sweetly irresistible face and kiss him uncontrollably. Thank God I controlled my actions and came back to my senses.

"Aw, no Shane. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who hurt and betrayed my best friend countless of times a-" He cut my off.

"Don't…it's all good." He then gave me that big cute smile that I adored. I missed that smile so much. It did wonders to me and always made me feel alive and forces me to smile right back.

"So…we good then?"

"Yeah, we're great," He smiled again, this time I little wider with his arms spread out welcoming me into a hug. Another thing I missed about him. He has the most warm and comfortable hugs. Once you entered his strong arms, you wouldn't want to leave them. We were probably were hugging for quite some time now because the next thing I knew my door viciously burst open.

The noise made us both jump out of our embrace and Shane rolled across my bed, falling on the floor. I small chuckle escaped my lips at his clumsiness. He looked up at me with a small smile, his dark hair tousled and looking kinda…hot.

"What's the hell is going on here?!" My attention turned back to the door and the owner of the angry voice. It was Josh.

"Hey Joshie, what brings you here?" I tried to sweeten up to him. I had no idea what had his panties in a twist.

"No, no, no," He laughed angrily. "Me doing here? ME? What is HE doing here? What are YOU TWO doing here?!"

"What? Oh no. Josh, no. Don't be upset bab-" He cut my off and his face turned bright red and twisted in anger. He was furious, I could feel it. I've never seen him like this before, it kinda was scaring me.

"Well," He said tapping his foot. "I'm waiting for some answer and I want them now!"

"Josh, Shane just came over to apologize and we were just hugging. You know like good old friends, right Shane," I turned to Shane for support hoping you wouldn't be a dumbass.

All attention turned to Shane and Josh eyed him suspiciously as Shane finally got right-side up on his two feet.

"Yeah, yeah. Good ol' friends again," he smiled wrapping an arm around my shoulder which made Josh even more mad. Great, just great.

"I have been calling you all day!"

"Oh...um...yeah. Sorry about that. I was in a bad mood before…"

"You couldn't answer the phone to talk to your boyfriend?"

"I…"

"I was worried sick about you! But noo you decide let's just ignore my ever-caring boyfriend. He can worry his ass off and I'll just worry about it later. He can wait."

"No, it wasn't like th-"

"I'm you boyfriend because I freakin' love you and I'm there when you need someone to care to talk to you and make you feel better!" Josh was getting angrier by the second and he was almost screaming in my face. I was really scared, no lie.

"Just let her speak man," Shane defended me.

Josh glared at Shane like he wanted to rip his head off.

"Alright then, I'm just gonna go," Shane said as he started to leave. Josh continued to throw him dirty looks as I waved him off.

"Call you later," I said to him as he nodded and left.

"Oh so you have time for him, but not me, YOUR FREAKIN' BOYFRIEND!" he yelled now totally in my face.

"No, Josh. I wish you would just understand. He's my best friend. I was just making up with him…"

"IF YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HIM THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST BE WITH HIM, FORGET ME!"

"Josh, please stop. I love you."

"OH REALLY? YOU LOVE ME?" He punched my dresser that I was standing next to so hard I swear I saw a piece of wood chip off. I was beyond terrified, I could feel tears trickling down. I think he saw it in my face, because he all of a sudden calmed down.

"Oh, I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to. I was just…I'm sorry I love you. I can't live without you. I love you so much please forgive me." I collapsed into his arms in a hug as he wiped my tears away.

"I love you, I love you so much," he kept whispering in my ear and he rubbed my back. I just stayed in his arms. To afraid to speak up and not knowing what to say.

"It's ok," I squeaked.

"I'll make it up to you," He said climbing into my bed while he pulled me on top of him and started kissing me. I gave in to him.