A/N: to my lovely readers, despite how things are right now i feel you should know; 1) this is still chuck/sarah 2) i would never write a tragedy and 3) someday there will be sunshine and rainbows, so bear with me here.

i haven't updated so quickly in a long while now but your reviews were a real motivation to keep going. thanks again!

Chapter 10:

Sarah was no stranger to violence. Her whole life she'd seen it; like a shadow lurking against the walls it was her most constant companion. Growing up she felt her family was no different from those that drank or smoked. A vice was a vice.

Even when she decided to give up that life, violence had paved the way to being a better person. She'd changed though. Chuck had changed her. She had walked away from it all, the good and the bad; burned bridges, ropes, ladders—everything to put it behind her.

Staring now at the bright red stain that blossomed across Jill's chest, she realized just how quickly it could all come back. As if her old friend had never left.

Jill looked just as surprised as she did, but the look that followed after, the way she lifted her head and gazed at her through the neat row of bangs. It was the look of victory in the face of death.

A harrowing darkness descended upon Sarah as she heard Chuck scream. Her name, no less. His anguish was deafening.

Sarah staggered back, falling into Bryce's arms just as her husband caught Jill in his. Even in his panic, Chuck cradled the fallen woman gently. Sarah stared on, consumed by jealousy.

"Chuck," she said though no sound escaped her throat. Please. Chuck.

When Chuck finally raised his head to look at her, Sarah knew she might as well have put the bullet through him. He looked like a child huddling against Jill's fallen body and her first instinct was to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay.

Another lie. And this time she couldn't even say it to herself.

Nothing would ever be the same now. Sarah dropped the gun, her hands reaching out to grasp nothing but stale air. Chuck shrank away from her like a bewildered creature.

He sobbed, burying his face in Jill's hair. He said something unintelligible through his cries but Sarah couldn't make it out. Or rather, she didn't want to. Seeing him so attached to her was enough.

Suddenly he looked up at them. "She's alive!" he shouted. "She's alive!"

Sarah's brows furrowed just the slightest. Jill lay in Chuck's arms so pale and still, he could easily be mistaken. Either that or it had been a miracle, because Sarah wasn't one to be sloppy.

"Please!" Chuck begged. "Do something!"

Sarah was out of words. She stared, holding up her empty hands. What did he want her to do?

"What's wrong with you?" he screamed.

The blood began to pool underneath them; dark like wine. A similar stain was growing across Chuck's shirt, almost as if he had been the one shot.

Sarah stood as rigid as a statue. His accusing eyes made her want to melt into a puddle and disappear. Never had she felt so small and insignificant as she did under his gaze.

What was wrong with her indeed, to have allowed this madness into her life?

"Please, we need an ambulance! Get help!" Chuck begged, holding onto Jill. He kissed the top of her temple and rocked her slowly. "It'll be okay," he whispered. "It'll be okay."

Sarah watched the exchange, feeling as if her heart were being ripped out of her chest. She needed him now. She needed him to tell her the same.

How could she make him understand? Jill was poison. The things she did…the things she threatened to do…Sarah wished she had pulled the triggers years ago. She had been a sentimental fool and now here she was all alone.

Sarah tugged the ends of her jacket, pulling them tight around her. Could Chuck not see that she was frightened too? That she needed to be comforted and reassured just as much as the monster he was holding?

"Please!" Chuck begged, his voice snatching her from her thoughts.

"Enough," Bryce muttered as he pushed Sarah out of the way, stepping forwards with gun in hand.

"No," Sarah said, before she could even catch herself. She held him back, pleading wordlessly with him.

"She's caused us enough trouble," Bryce said under his breath.

She squeezed his shoulder, shaking her head. "No," she said. Sarah knew if Jill died, Chuck would never forgive her. "Please, go get help."

Bryce looked down at the helpless pair, and then back at Sarah. She stared into his pale-blue eyes, pleading silently. They had been one and the same once, but now Sarah could see clearly the line that divided them. She couldn't make anymore sacrifices but Bryce could still afford to, was still willing to—

"Don't make me beg," she told him. "Because I will."

Bryce glared at her. He didn't understand. "Fine," he muttered. He walked off looking anything but enthusiastic about the errand.

Bryce's absence allowed Sarah to let out a sigh of relief. At least some of the tension was gone now, and they were almost alone.

The silence was awful. Sarah wanted to say something; anything, but an invisible hand closed over her throat every time she opened her mouth.

She thought she ought to apologize, but she didn't want to lie to Chuck anymore. She was not sorry to have rid the world of that woman.

"Chuck?"

"Don't!" Chuck yelled before she had even take a step forwards. He held out his hands, keeping her back. "Don't…" he said, quieter the second time. "Just…just stay where you are."

Chuck wouldn't look up at her. It was like she didn't exist.

"Chuck, please," she said quietly. Her legs were quaking and she felt like she was on the verge of begging on her knees.

"No, Sarah, don't!" Chuck shook his head fervidly. "Don't come any closer!"

"Chuck!" she cried. "It's me!" She stared at him, trying to will her thoughts to him. It's me, Sarah, your wife. Please Chuck. Please.

"I don't know you anymore," he said. Fatal words. Final words.

"No…" Sarah shook visibly, tears coming so rapidly to her eyes she was blinded by them.

"You lied about everything," he whispered. "This whole time. I trusted you."

Sarah gritted her teeth, trying to keep herself together. She had always despised those girls who made a scene; the wailing and screaming, it always seemed so loud and pathetic, but now she understood. It was basic instinct; sometimes it was the only way to react.

"Chuck!" she whimpered. "Please, look at me!" When he didn't respond, she repeated it a second time. "Please! Please, Chuck!"

He wouldn't. All he would do was stare down at Jill's hauntingly still face. Watching the way he held her, Sarah felt as if her ribs were caving in, crushing the air from her chest. She knew he would never hold her in the same way again.

"Makes me wonder what else about the last seven years has been a lie," he said. "It must have been convenient for you that I didn't remember anything. You could rewrite our past any way you wanted."

Hot tears poured down Sarah's face. "No!" she blurted, her sobs coming out in ragged breaths. "Chuck!" How could he think that?

Because you're a big fat liar.

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out her conscience. She didn't need someone taunting her with I told you so's to know that she had made a colossal mistake.

"No, you don't understand," she said. "I can explain." Come back to me, Chuck. Please come back.

"Let me help," she said, hoping it would appease him. The pool of blood was growing and it showed no sign of stopping. So much blood for one person.

Sarah had seen her share of casualties, but this was the first time it made her want to retch.

"Chuck?"

He swallowed decisively. "You want to help?" he croaked. "You can help Bryce."

The way he said the name made Sarah flinch. She looked at him in disbelief, hoping she had heard wrong. When he didn't repeat himself or clarify, she realized he knew about her and Bryce and their past together.

Sarah caught on moments too late that her own silence was a confirmation of sorts. When she wasn't able to deny it or feign innocence, she might as well have confessed to everything.

She stared at his ashen face, wondering what he was thinking now. How could things have spun so out of control? She wished she knew his thoughts so she could tell him different. But where to start? Bryce had been such a long time ago. And Jill? How could she speak ill of Jill when she was inches from Death's door?

"Chuck?" Chuck didn't appear to have heard her.

Sarah bit down on her lip—hard. Hard enough to taste blood in her mouth. She couldn't hold herself together any longer. Falling apart in front of Chuck was not an option; not when she knew he wouldn't be there to catch her.

Sarah stood to her full height, her body nearly giving out at the effort. "Don't move," she whispered. "I'll be right back. Help is on the way."

Chuck said nothing. He continued to stare at Jill, rocking dumbly back and forth whilst stroking her hair. Seeing them this way made Sarah sick to her stomach.

She couldn't bear it any longer. So she did what she never thought she'd do.

She ran.

_

Sarah ran until every muscle in her body burned with pain and her lungs felt like they'd been set on fire. She needed to exhaust herself. The sooner her body gave out, the longer she could delay the fallout, the tears, and coming face-to-face with the inevitable loss.

She had no idea where Bryce had gone, and in her mindless state she forgot she was supposed to find help for Jill.

She was just running to get away.

To hide.

To wake and realize this was only a terrible dream.

And then a hand caught her and spun her around, slamming her back into reality. She met with a pair of the coldest blue eyes she'd ever seen, and suddenly realized that Bryce did not possess a friendly face. His handsome features contained too many sharp angles, his cheekbones too high and pronounced, and his eyes were too pale for warmth.

She wanted Chuck. She wanted his arms around her, for him to console her and kiss her on the temple and hold her like he would never, ever, let go.

"An ambulance is coming," Bryce deadpanned. "Calm yourself."

Sarah's features screwed into a ball of fury. Without warning she punched him full in the face, feeling a rush of satisfaction when her knuckles recoiled off his cheekbone.

"Don't tell me to calm myself," she warned, a growl forming at the base of her throat. How were they going to explain this to the police? To the agency? To Chuck? "If anything happens to him." She raised her fist again, fully prepared to knock him senseless in view of everyone on the busy street. "I will kill you. So help me, Bryce Larkin, I will kill you."

She stared into his eyes so he could see the truth in them and know that she would not hesitate to pull the trigger like she had for Jill.

_

Sarah and Bryce made their way back to the third level of the parkade before the ambulance had arrived. She allowed Bryce to take the lead, feeling incapable of the task involved. He said something about a mugging and sorting out an alibi, but Sarah could hardly hear over the sound of her own tragically beating heart.

The drumming in her ear grew louder and louder as she took the steps two at a time, dreading the moment when she would have to stare into Chuck's eyes and see nothing but fear and betrayal.

Her worries were misplaced however and Sarah realized there were worse things to dread.

They ran down the path of the third level, scanning the perimeter in similar panic. She called out his name until she was hoarse but to no avail.

There was no one there.

All that was left was a pool of blood; dark like wine.

She heard an anguished scream and Bryce grabbed her arm, a look of worry clear on his features.

It took Sarah a little longer to realize that the sound was coming from her.